Oh my god, what is this world coming to? People actually read and like this story, apparently. Two people even favorited it. I mean, thanks but… Jesus. This story was totally supposed to be a joke. I thought people would hate it and be like, "GAY GAY GAY" at it xD or something. Whatever. Thanks for everyone who comments and favorited and stuff. But uh, sorry this chapter isn't funny. At least not to me so hopefully you guys will like it.

And sorry for taking a while to update this shitty story, fanfiction was bein a bitch.


It was a bright morning in South Park except for two little boys. That's right. Pip and Butters. Now, you might be thinking, why Pip and Butters? Why would I put them in this story? Well the answer is simple. Masha wanted Butters in the story and I had to add in some character I could easily make fun of.

Anyway, Pip and Butters were hanging out together in the "ghetto" or the "west side".

"Well uh, muh-my nigga, what do you wanna do?" Butters asked his notsomuchofafriend Pip.

"I do believe we should go bust a cap in a hooker's ass!" Said Pip while masturbating with a quiet intensity.

Butters jumped at the very idea! How grand and marvelous and not stereotypical! "Well say, that's a great idea!" He said so happily that the birds around him began to sing. Everything was beautiful until Pip had an orgasm all over Butters' back! "WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING CUNT, I WILL CUT YOU!" He screamed as he tore off his jacket and turned green. His muscles bulged and the rest of his clothes ripped off. Butters had a monster-sized penis!

"CHEERIO!" Pip yelled in a very stereotypical way! Butters was coming right for him but more importantly… his massive PENIS was getting closer!

"Roar!" Screamed Butters as he suddenly stopped and started concentrating. What was he doing? The answer was very clear as his penis became even BIGGER and seemed to be… standing up? Oh my! Oh MY!

Now when I said standing up I'm sure you thought of a massive Butters erection but you are fucking wrong. Butters penis had actually detached itself and was standing up! It had grown to be 1000003984329563 feet tall, and worse/better yet, it was destroying the town!

Meanwhile, Pip was masturbating with a quiet intensity again. Butters had returned to normal and was naked, but had no penis. Now, he had a big fat ugly vagina. Named Fredericka Stotch.

"Whuh-what am I gonna do?" Said Butters. He walked down the sidewalk away from Pip and clutched his aching heart. His penis was now killing millions and he couldn't do anything to stop it. Suddenly, he threw his arms back and screamed/sang at the top of his lungs "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME? I'VE MADE MY MISTAKES. GOT NOWHERE TO RUN… BUT LIFE GOES ON… I'm jus-"

Suddenly something amazing happened! Masha came out and tackled Butters to the ground and began to hump him crazily. Masha was very thin and had curly hair (I think) and wore glasses (I think). Hump! Hump! Hump! Hump! The humping went on for hours on end! Butters would have quite the erection if his penis hadn't gone on a murderous rampage.

"Gee wiz, lady! You sure are horny arn'tcha!" Butters said while touching his hands together nervously like he always does. Masha just kept humping him. But little did she know that her Exknottique perfume (made by Don Knotts, of course), was so strong that Butters' penis could smell it all the way from uh… Tokyo. And also little did she know that penises love Don Knotts.

It was approximately three days later that Butters' penis came riding up to Masha (who was still humping Butters) on a donkey while people waved big green leafs (like Jesus). Masha was astounded!

"Holy mother of fuck!" she screamed while smiling widely. "That is the largest penis I've ever seen since last week!" Due to her excitement she began to sing a beautiful sonata in a three-part harmony.

The penis was in love! Masha's beautiful voice had lifted its spirits and thoughts of EVIL! But oh cruel fate, the government was approaching with cruel intents towards the perplexed penis! He had to do something, but what?

Never had a penis been in so much confusion. Never had a penis experienced so many emotions. Never had a penis stood more erect than Butters' was right now. And it was all because of Masha and her beautiful boobs/singing.

He knew what he had to do! He grabbed Masha between his balls and sprang onto the Empire State Building that SOMEHOW was in South Park now. He climbed up facing many feats which I won't explain. Along the way Masha became scared. She didn't know that the penis harbored feelings for her!

"You! You penis! Please stop, I'm scared and I think I'm on my period and I'm not even wearing a tampon or anything!" She began to sob as her white pants were now quite soiled. The penis felt terrible for doing this to his love. He set her down on top of the building and looked at her straight in the eye and said in the SEXIEST VOICE EVER

"Masha, my beautiful darling I love you with all my balls and pubic hair. I want to touch every inch of your body and kiss you all over. Please Masha, do not be afraid for I am a very affectionate penis," he said, his beautiful blue eye gazing into hers. Masha was suddenly very much in love with the penis and had to ask him a few questions.

"Penis… what is your name? And where are you from? What is your heritage? Is that your natural hair color? How many hours do you spend in the bathroom? What's your style? Have you ever cheated? How many inches?"

MEANWHILE Pip was watching Naruto while masturbating harder than ever before. "NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHEERIO" he screamed as he reached yet another climax.

Back to Masha and the Penis. The government were circling in helicopters now, preparing to kill the penis. However, the penis was determined to answer Masha's questions.

"Tom, Butter's crotch, half Mexican, a quarter Portuguese and a quarter African, yes, only a few minutes unless I feel like straightening my hair, I like gothic and punk, only once, and uh… well I'm 1000003984329563 feet high so that would make…. 12000047811954756 inches" (yes I did the math)

"Oh… oh Tom… I fall more in love with you every second… I wish it could stay like this forever…" she said, hugging his head tightly.

The penis smiled and said to her softly "It will, Masha, it will, I'll alwa-AHHHFSDLJFSDLKHHH!1" he screamed! He had been shot! He was dieing! Penis down penis down!

"TOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" Masha screamed! Tom had died.

Masha held her lovers head, sobbing uncontrollably. Everything within her seemed to just stop, and nothing mattered. After only a few moments she had died alongside her lover.

But little did they know something crazy was about to happen!


Yeah this fucking SUCKS ASS and is not funny but hopefully I can pull myself together and make the next one funny.