My computer finally let me upload this, yay. There's some RENT reference in this one, and there's A Chorus Line and Evita in the next chapter, or maybe it's the one after that. I dunno.
Still don't own it.
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer scurried down the hall, their little kitty paws moving as fast as they could go, their little kitty jaws open in a happy little cackle. One of the two managers chased after them, screeching insults. The other had vanished among the flames that had enveloped the theater as the chandelier fell.
The pair slid to a halt as Macavity leapt into their path, Christine at his side. Demeter, who had recently arrived with Bombalurina, squealed the evil cat's name. Moncharmin tripped over Mungojerrie and started sobbing, and Christine decided to imitate herself during The Music of the Night, and stood staring dumbly at Moncharmin's shiny, bald head.
"KITTEH!" She screamed, lifting Demeter into her arms. You might have noticed at some point in time that Christine is, indeed, female, and therefore she can understand cats, as well as many other things. Macavity still had control of her foolish mind, so she was "Moohaha"ing and grunting and stuff like that. Now, of course, no one tried to stop Macavity or Christine, as no one had the faintest idea as to what was going on, and Macavity had never decided what he would do should he ever catch Demeter. He ought to write a book about that…Call it: "I Didn't Know What I'd Do If I Ever Caught Demeter So When I Actually Did Catch Her With The Help Of A Moron Whose Mind I Took Control Of I Was An Idiot And Went Off To Write A Book With A Title Longer Than The Book Itself Including The Copyright Page By Macavity". He'd make millions.
So, as the auditorium of the opera house burned to a toasty crisp, with bacon and eggs and a large stack of pancakes, Christine sat down and stroked Demeter, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer crept away silently, Bombalurina became thoroughly confused, Macavity wandered off to write a book, and Moncharmin, irritated up to here, rolled his eyes and leapt into the flames.
Raoul noticed the flames in the auditorium. He was sitting in Christine's dressing room, which was directly above it, and the floor started to get so hot his sparkly pink toenail polish started to melt. So he decided to save everyone! He ripped off his/Christine's dress, realized he had no Superman costume underneath, put it back on, and wrote "SUPER RAOULETTE" on the front in red lipstick so he could pretend to be female. Hurriedly, he grabbed a pair of pantyhose and sprinted to the location of his secret water supply.
Standing by the lake, he repeatedly attempted to fill the pantyhose with water. Then he realized the pantyhose did NOT work like a regular hose, ran to the convenience store in the fourth cellar, bought a fire hose, and threw it into the lake. It sank really, really fast. It took his/her slow-witted mind a moment or two to realize that only one end goes in the lake, so he ran back to the fourth cellar and bought another one. He threw one end into the lake and, holding the other end, started for the auditorium.
"It's a bird wearing a skirt!" Demeter cried.
"It's a big pink marshmallow!" Bombalurina argued.
"No, it's a flying slug!" A passing ballet rat squealed.
"I like slugs. I will name him Andrew Lloyd Webber because he looks like a bowl of Jell-O." Christine mumbled.
"No! Name him Gaston, you idiot!" Wailed Demeter.
"Name him Tim Martin Gleason!" Bombalurina offered quietly.
"Name him Macavity, after the best writer who ever lived!" Macavity called from the next room.
"You're supposed to say 'No! It's SUPER RAOULETTE!'"
"Ooooh! Ooooooh! Me! Me! Meeeeeee!" Christine begged, waving an arm in the air.
"What?" Super Raoulette asked, confused. He had hooked the hose to the little shiny hook that the chandelier used to hang on and was swinging back and forth.
"I wanna play Russian Roulette!" Christine cried, bouncing around, giving Demeter, who sat in her lap, a bit of a ride.
"But you're Swedish," Demeter reminded her.
"Christine's a Nazi?" Bombalurina asked.
"No, she's from Sweden."
"So she's a Nazi and she makes good chocolate?"
"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT RUSSIAN ROULETTE IS!" Super Raoulette screamed, interrupting Bombalurina and Demeter.
"Is it a game?" Christine asked, lifting Demeter out of her lap."
"No, it's him!" Demeter was pointing up at Super Raoulette, who was still swinging back and forth.
"Her." Super Raoulette corrected politely.
"No, you." Demeter argued.
"I thought he was Tarzan," Bombalurina was confused again.
"NO! I'M SUPER RAOULETTE!"
"Can I play?" Christine was slowly edging away from the doorway to the auditorium, which was running out of things to burn.
"Why don't you sound Russian?"
"Because I'm NOT RUSSIAN!"
"Are you Polish?"
Raoulette had become annoyed very very very quickly, and turned his spiffy fire hose on full-blast. After he/she had completely put out the fire, Raoulette turned her hose on Christine, Demeter and Bombalurina.
"Today 4 me," he said with a smile.
No, I don't have anything against the Swedish, Polish, Russian or cross-dressers.
