Yay! I got this one up fairly quick.

Okay, Fritz, just a warning: there's a little inside joke between Masque and I tucked in here somewhere, and it will probably scare you. As long as you don't have any carrots in your house, however, you'll be fine.

Once again, a really, really random chapter, written with characters I don't own.


So, this one time, I caught Demeter, but I didn't know what to do, so I wrote this.

THE END.

Macavity looked over his writing, sighed, and tapped his paw unhappily. He clutched the pencil in his paws, deciding his story needed…something else. He crossed out "THE END." and wrote:

Pretty spiffy, huh?

He wrote "THE END." again below it and slid the paper into an envelope addressed to Author House publishing.


Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer walked slowly across the emptied lake, eating their fill of all the water-dwelling creatures that Raoul had—technically—murdered. Hundreds of sirens flopped around, burying their faces in the few remaining puddles. Then Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer would walk up and begin to devour them like carrots eating the color Purple's pet armadillo.

"OOOOOH! Look over there! Look over there!" Rumpleteazer cried, wiping a bit of siren-flesh off her chin. She was pointing at a door fit into the bank of the lake. Written in shiny red water-proof paint, it said: "Employees only".

"Well, I guess all the employees are dead now, so how 'bout we go see if they had anything nice?"

Chuckling happily, the pair wandered into the torture chamber.


"He does this too much," Munkustrap mumbled. Erik stood in the center of the torture chamber, one hand over his bare face, screaming curses into the darkness. He had managed to extinguish the fire before it did very much damage to his lovely, beautiful hair. But now, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had stolen his mask, and he wasn't entirely happy about that.

"Ooooh, I'm the Phantom of the Opera! I'm—" Rumpleteazer paused for dramatic effect, her eyes darting back and forth beneath the mask. "—COPYRIGHTED!"

Etcetera shrieked, diving behind Mungojerrie, who looked a bit frightened himself. Victoria looked ready to faint, and Electra squealed unhappily.

"'Teazer! That's not funny!" She cried. "Anyways, 'Stoff over there would make a better Phanty. He looks like he's wearing a suit."

"Don't call me 'Stoff!" Mistoffelees wailed. As Electra and Rumpleteazer slowly edged toward him with Erik's mask, he started sobbing pitifully, searching hopelessly for a way out.


Demeter and Bombalurina gasped for air, flopping around like little fuzzy fishies. Christine was swimming in circles happily, exclaiming repeatedly that she was a goldfish.

Super Raoulette had blocked off the auditorium and filled it halfway with water. He would have filled it further, but the hose that he had thrown in the lake had clogged the other hose, and Raoulette grew so frustrated her make up started to run. He had run away sobbing, leaving the three in their fish bowl.

Christine climbed up the hose that was still hanging from the ceiling. She leaped off, screaming: "Cannonball!"

"Stop doing that!" Bombalurina cried as she was completely drenched. Demeter was now scratching at the hinges of the door, hoping to break it open. She scratched harder, her eyes watering in irritation.

"But I'm a goldfish!" Christine argued unhappily. "Goldfish can do cannonballs anytime they want."

"Cats eat goldfish, you know…" Demeter called over her shoulder.

"I mean, uh, I'm a…" Christine held the end of the fire hose up to her face. "Elephant?"


The Evita and A Chorus Line reference isn't until the next chapter, okay?

Misto would make such an adorable Phanty, wouldn't he?