Sweet little Jordie walked out of the theater, holding on to her parents' hands and staring ahead with big, blank eyes. Her feet made quiet little thudding noises and her little shows lit up with each step. Most things were little about the six year old.

"Mommy, why did Sweeney want to kill Macavity?"

"Because he was making them pay rent when they didn't want to."

"You have to pay rent when you're older," Jordie's father quickly reminded her.

"Why did Mr. Mistoffelees let Victoria go with Plato? He spent all that time organizing his plan to kidnap her just to let her go?"

"Yes, because she lied to him about his wife being dead."

"You'd better not lie to anyone when you're older," Jordie's father quickly reminded her.

"But I thought his wife was dead."

"Yes, but only after The Rum Tum Tugger killed her."

"You'd better not kill anyone when you're older," Jordie's father quickly reminded her. He does that a lot.

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"I don't think that was a very happy play."

From that day on, little Jordie would never be the same.


"That went pretty well."

"Are you kidding me!" Munkustrap screamed so loud Erik's cute little ears flew back. "We turned CATS into…into…"

"CATS Todd of the Rented Opera of Fleet Street?"

"You know, that's pretty creative…I could sing a song about it."

"Please don't, Raoul," Christine begged.

"I have a better idea! We could sell little Mistomarkchristine Toddgirydeuteronomy dolls!"

"And if we make enough money, we could find a way back to Paris!" Erik squealed, then realized that squealing is NOT something the dreaded Phantom of the Opera would do and instantly cast a magic spell to erase his last sentence and the tone it was spoken in from everybody's minds.

Hey, it could happen.


Raoul danced around, waving the doll he'd made in the air.

"Look how good it turned out! And I had to sew it with paws!"

"How many did you make?" Victoria squeezed the little doll.

"And we all say, "We're not gonna pay attend the tale nighttime heightens sharpens each as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!"

"OH MY GOD! IT SINGS!" Victoria dropped the doll in terror.

"Yup. Pretty spiffy, eh?"

"Yeah, I guess—did you just say 'eh'?"

"…Yeah…"

"Cats don't say 'eh'. Okay?"

"…Okay…"


Raoul grunted as he pushed another box out.

"Think 4,297 dolls is enough?"

"Should be."

"My paws are so sore…" Raoul began to cry. "There should be kitten labor laws."

"Why is that?" Erik looked up from the doll he was studying.

"I'm too pretty to die!"

"Speaking of pretty things, have you seen Tugger lately?"

"Oh my God!" Victoria swooned. "He was so hot singing 'Green Finch and Linnet Bird' yesterday!"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Erik moaned, dropping the doll. "He was wearing a skirt! And his fur was curled! And the necklace—"

"—Was so dreamy!" Victoria squealed. "Isn't it sexy how he isn't afraid to wear girly things for the sake of a play?"

"Ooooh! Ooooooh!" Raoul bounced up and down, her white fur flying everywhere. "I gave him a makeover back in Paris!"

"Can you do me too?" Victoria begged. Raoul squeed and nodded.

Right as Mistoffelees walked by.

"How's it coming?"

Victoria looked at Raoul.

Raoul looked at Victoria.

The pair squealed and immediately began to chase Mistoffelees, who was running for his life.


Whee! I finally updated. It's Masque's fault.