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Sixteen: No Secrets
Jane's POV
When Seth and I got back from In-and-Out, I was seriously exhausted.
I had, had one of the longest, best days of my life today. It started with Seth and ended with Seth, which I was quickly realizing were my favorite kind of days, but there was a good amount of school and work in between that. I guessed the combination of all of that was to blame for my eyelids feeling so heavy I could barely keep them open.
Still, I couldn't believe that I had lost my virginity tonight. It had been perfect, intense, and maybe even a little painful, but I wouldn't have changed a second of it if I could. Seth was the most caring, kind, human being that I could have ever dreamed of, and he somehow was sexy and passionate at the same time as being gentle and perceptive. I had no idea what I ever did to deserve a guy like Seth, but I knew that I wanted him to know how much I appreciated him- just, not when I was so tired I could hardly think straight.
We headed up to my room and I was just barely able to stay awake long enough to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I got back to bed, I was so tired that I merely unhooked my bra and slid my shorts off; my panties and tank top would just have to do for pajamas tonight.
Seth looked me up and down but then smiled quickly and looked away, suddenly finding a spot on the wall across the room so, very interesting. I couldn't help but melt from the adorableness of it; it was so obvious that Seth was trying so hard to not be pushy after earlier. I could tell that he was trying to make sure that I didn't think he was a pig; how could I explain to him that I thought the exact opposite?
I slid underneath the corners and slid right over to him. I wanted to reassure him that I had no regrets about what happened earlier, but I realized a long time ago that serious conversations were better left unsaid when I was this tired. So, it would have to wait. Instead, I thought of a non-verbal way that I could show my appreciation. I slid my leg over top of his and then flipped on top of him, resting my cheek against his chest and curling my arms underneath myself.
Seth chuckled, immediately warming to me, just like the rest of his body that was already 100 degrees. He wrapped his arms around me, locking me in a bubble of his masculine and delicious scent, and then I felt him kiss my hair.
"Want to go on that date this weekend?" Seth played with the ends of my hair. I mentally begged him never to stop doing that; it felt incredible. It was so non-sexual and sweet that it made my heart thaw a little more. Darn him. Before I knew it I was going to be a wimpy, emotional mess! "Granted, you'll have to wear something a little less sexy if we want to make it out of the house this time."
I chuckled, snuggling in closer to him. "New goal," I spoke against his shirt. "Actually make it out for date night."
"You're on," Seth laughed. The sound vibrated his chest against my ear; it was the most relaxing thing I had ever felt or heard.
I felt sleep tugging at me from every direction, only, I knew that I wanted one last thing before I fell asleep. I picked my head up, letting an annoyed and slightly incoherent moan of complaint slip between my lips, hoping that, that somehow communicated what I wanted.
Seth's lips slowly pulled up into a small, genuine smile. He shook his head at me, and then cupped my jaw gently in his large hands that somehow were oh, so tentative and gentle. He nudged the tip of my nose against his and then pressed his lips slowly into mine. I smiled into the kiss, all remnants of the hot, physical adrenaline gone from earlier, and sweet passion taking its place. His lips lingered against mine once he pulled away, and then he lifted his head, brushing his mouth against my forehead before placing a light kiss there, too.
I sighed happily and dropped down onto his chest. I was still half convinced that I had accidentally been dropped into a romance novel and any day now I was going to be removed, the author realizing the mistake. But for now, I was going to hold on as tightly as I could.
I grabbed a fist-full of the bottom of his shirt and dropped to the side of him.
"Night, Janesie," Seth ran his fingers through the top of my hair.
"Mm," I sighed, my brain already half shut off. "Night Seth. Thanks for the most amazing orgasm ever."
I heard him chuckle. Word vomit at its finest.
I spent the majority of the minutes after I woke up staring at Seth. Creepy, I knew it, but I had no desire to get out of bed and leave the warm, safe confides of tangled limbs and an adorable, sleeping Seth underneath of my sheets.
I knew that I had to get on with my day. I wasted enough time in bed; I was already running late. If I didn't get up soon I would be late for work at the bookstore, and if I was late for work at the bookstore I would have to stay late, which would have made me late to my Chemistry class after that, and so on. I sighed, the complexities of my life were just something that I had grown accustomed to; nothing was easy after my parents died. I learned that the hard way, but I tried as hard as I could not to be bitter about it, even though most girls my age were going to college parties and skipping their morning classes.
I devised a plan in my head. One more minute, I promised myself, beginning to count down from 60. All I wanted to do was reach for him, to nuzzle myself against his body and have him open his arms for me. I wanted to feel his warmth, the way it overwhelmed me like it had last night when he hadn't just touched me, but had been inside of me. The thought made me blush.
Though all I wanted to do was touch him, I knew that I should let him sleep. Seth had school, too, and even though he was only going online part-time, he worked as well. He had been working a lot of night shifts lately, which I thought was weird considering he works at Jacob's auto shop, but he explained that a group of them do almost every night; apparently it is the best time to actually get things done. It still didn't make that much sense to me, but I admittingly wasn't the best with mechanical engineering- that was Seth's thing. Hit me with some neurotransmitters, though, and I'm your girl.
The 60 seconds were up in my head before I knew it, and I finally told myself that I couldn't delay the inevitable any longer. I pouted my lower lip only for me to see as I stared at Seth's adorable sleeping face. He looked like such a little boy when he slept; it was so cute.
Okay, maybe one, single kiss wouldn't be too bad. I mean, it probably wouldn't even wake him up! Definitely not. And it was rude to leave without kissing him goodbye, wasn't it?
I leaned in, and I gently pressed my lips to his, just barely touching him. I pulled back, and almost immediately Seth's eyes batted open.
I cringed, sliding down in bed and pulling the covers up to my chin, a guilty expression covering my face. "Hi," I finally spoke.
Seth's still sleepy face easily molded into one of the most bring-you-to-your-knees smiles I had ever seen. Jeeze. Did he have to be so tempting?
"Hi," He replied back easily. Just the sound of his voice was enough to nearly have me forgetting all about my realizations from before, though, sadly, responsibility won out.
"I'm sorry," I told him honestly. "I didn't mean to wake you up. I have to leave for work, but I felt bad not kissing you goodbye."
"Jane," Seth laughed just a little bit, the sound slightly coarse and oh, so sexy from his prior sleep. "One thing that you never have to apologize for, under any circumstances, is kissing me."
I blushed. "Than I take it back." I slowly reached my hand out and brushed the hair out of his face. I rested my palm on the back of his neck and bit the corner of my lip as I held myself back. Now, all I wanted to do was make out with him. Obviously, that did not fit the time-frame.
"I really do have to go," I told him, but even I sounded miserable about it.
"You should definitely call off today," Seth's voice suddenly took on a more mischievous tone, like how it always did when he was about to flirt with me. "I will put you to work. The dirty, kind, though."
"Seth!" I couldn't help but giggle as I scolded him.
"Sorry, sorry," He smiled lazily. "Do you really have to go?"
I nodded sadly. "I can't afford to risk this job, literally. My parents had enough saved up for the first few years of college, but pretty soon I'll have to pay for it on my own. If I don't save up now I won't be able to finish."
Seth frowned, slowly sitting up. He turned his face towards me, his expression obviously confused. He rubbed his jaw and opened his mouth, only he quickly shut it again, only to do that a few more times.
"What?" I finally asked, not able to help my curiosity from taking over anymore.
"Well, it's just," Seth cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, it might be sleep brain, but didn't you get money when... you know?"
The realization of his question made my heart drop. Dread and ugly realization flowed through my body at warped speed; it was a usual sinking feeling that I felt whenever I thought about my parents, especially about the lawsuit, but it usually did not happen when I was with Seth.
It seemed out of place, so I immediately knew that I did not want to talk about it.
"I really need to get to work," I whispered, pushing the covers off of me and stepping out of bed. I pressed my bare feet into the cold, wood floor a total of three times before Seth was standing. He met me on his size of the bed, and he immediately reached out for me.
"Jane," His voice was soft. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be insensitive. I'm just confused."
I gnawed on the inside of my cheek, avoiding eye contact. "You weren't," I whispered back. "I just really need to go."
"Hey." He pressed his thumb up against the bottom of my chin, pushing it up so that my eyes had to meet his. "What are you thinking?"
I blinked away the inevitable tears that had formed in my eyes. "I told you I didn't want it," I finally whispered.
Seth's expression softened. He cupped my cheeks in his palms and leaned forward. "I know you didn't want it, Jane," Seth's voice was gentle, as well as careful. I felt like he was talking to a porcelain doll. "But I didn't know that meant that you didn't take it."
"I didn't have a choice," I mumbled, blinking my eyes quickly together and swallowing down what was left of my tears. I pulled my face from his warm hands and took a deep breath, twisting my hair into a low bun and knotting it there. "I really, really don't want to talk about it."
Seth's face was unreadable as he slowly nodded his head.
I bit the corner of my lip. "Please?"
He finally sighed. "Of course you don't have to talk about something if you don't want to, Jane," He said, easier now. "But I just want you to know that you can talk about it. I'm here."
I grabbed a sweater from my closet and slipped it over top of my tee-shirt. In just my underwear without Seth's ridiculous body heat I was rather cold. I walked back over to the bed and then sat on the edge of it, pulling my feet underneath me. I stared at the floor-boards for a minute or so before I spoke.
"That's just something I don't talk about with anyone. Ever."
Seth's phone buzzed on the night-stand. He let it go to voicemail, both of us silent, until it rang a second time. And then a third.
Finally, I was the one to ask. "Are you going to get that?"
Seth's jaw hardened. He shook his head adamantly. "Nothing on that phone could be as important as you right now."
I sighed. "Why do you have to be so sweet?" I attempted to smile at him to break the ice. "It's irresistible."
Seth smiled gently at me. His mouth opened, and his phone buzzed again. I would have liked to have said that I just felt bad and wanted him to get the phone, but the honest truth was that I was kind of curious as to who was calling him so many times in a row.
I grabbed it off of the nightstand and looked at the caller ID. Jacob's name illuminated the screen. I hated that I was relieved about that; Seth would never step out on me. I knew that. But old habits were hard to break.
"I think you're late for work," I held out the phone to him.
Seth reached out, his hands hesitant before finally connecting with my shoulders. He rubbed up and down my arms with his palms slowly. It felt so good I actually closed my eyes.
"I don't really care about work right now," He muttered.
A small smile found its way to my face. "I really like you." The words slipped from my mouth before I had a second to think about them.
Seth took a step closer, so that now he was standing right in front of me. "I really, really like you, Janesie," He brushed my hair behind my ear. "But I'm worried about you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I really think we should talk about it."
"Can I take a rain check? Please, Seth. I really need to go."
Seth let out a long breath. "Yes. Of course," He smiled at me. "I'll drive you."
The majority of my day was counterproductive. Though I did show up at work, I barely got anything done. I was too busy thinking about Seth. My anxiety was running races around me; there were things that he wanted now that I knew I needed to tell him, but I worried about how he was going to respond. Like I had told him, my life wasn't easy by any means, and that never seemed to bother him, but saying it and living it were two completely different stories.
School went much like work, and by the end of lecture I had realized that I spent the entire 50 minutes staring out into space. I wanted to curl up underneath my covers and just get today over with, but I knew that I had some explaining to do. I was acutely aware of the fact that I was building up "I don't want to talk about it's," or, "Can I talk about it later's?" with Seth. Between Julliard and now this, there was a lot that I hadn't told him yet, and I wasn't sure I was ready to even now.
As I was walking out to the bus, I pulled out my phone to call him, only to see a missed message from an unknown number. My heart sank into my stomach. I knew that Seth would never, ever do this to me, but I couldn't help from dread and pain from erupting inside of me like a volcano. I swear I had PTSD about texts from random numbers after what happened.
I opened it slowly, and then forced myself to read.
HI JANE! It's Renesmee. Would you have any interest in babysitting tonight? My family is out of town and Jake and I were thinking of going to dinner. Seth could come? No pressure- let me know! -Renesmee Black
Relief washed through me. I sent Seth a text before responding.
Interested in babysitting with me for the Black's tonight? I imagine the kids go to bed early, I bet there'd be plenty of time to talk and share all of my emotions and feelings after that.
I chuckled to myself after sending. I hoped he understood that sarcasm and didn't think that I was just being a brat. I really wasn't upset with him about earlier; he hadn't done anything wrong. I was just nervous about going to places that I hadn't in... well, ever.
He responded right as the bus pulled up. I took a seat in the front and then opened his text.
I'll be there. Can't wait for all your mushy gushy girl feelings. Should I bring materials to start a Burn Book?
I laughed so loudly that all of the patrons on the bus turned to shoot me death glares. I was totally "that girl," oblivious to the world around me and in my own little, Seth-filled bubble. Only, I liked my bubble, and I had no intention of popping it any time soon.
"Ja-ane!" Peter exclaimed in his very deliberate and serious way that he always said my name. "Mommy always lets us have ice cream before bed."
Henry laughed crazily as I spun him around once more, burying his face into my chest only to pull it out again and demand for more.
"I don't think so, Peter," I told him uneasily. "Your mom didn't mention anything about it. And it's an hour until your bedtime."
"Mommy just forgot because she's PMS'ing. That's what dad says when she's having a bad day."
My eyes widened. "Do you know what that means, Peter?"
"Course I do!" He crossed his arms defiantly. "It means 'provide me with sweets'. That's why daddy always gets her chocolate."
I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing at him. "You're something else, Peter."
I heard the front door open and close, and then a moment later Seth emerged into the kitchen.
"Seth!" Peter exclaimed, running over to him to give him a whopping high five.
"Hey, Pete," Seth ruffled his hair. "Where's the other one?"
"Miles is reading a book. Yuck!"
"I don't know, bud," Seth sighed. "Smart is pretty attractive." He raised his eyes to meet mine. "Trust me."
I bit the corner of my lip. Well, that was freaking sweet. I set Henry down to walk over to him, but he stopped me before I reached him by suddenly pulling out his one hand that was behind his back. A dozen pink roses were bunched up and tied with ribbon around the stem.
I frowned. "For me?"
"No, sweetheart. For Henry."
I giggled.
Seth laughed. "Take them," He whispered sweetly. As soon as I did just that he wrapped one arm around my back and pulled me to him. Seth's breath was hot against my ear as he spoke words that would remain a secret, only for me.
"I'm sorry about earlier."
I pulled away, confused. "I told you, you didn't do anything wrong."
"I still made you cry."
"You didn't make me cry," I explained. "It's my disease. Crying any time I feel feelings that are stronger than ordinary."
Seth appeared puzzled for a moment. "Yet you didn't cry last night. I think I have a lot of work to do."
"Seth!" I laughed, blushing immediately and gently pushing at his chest.
He laughed and kissed my temple.
"Thank you for the flowers," I told him sweetly. "You're amazing."
"You're welcome, Janesie. How are the kids?"
I sighed. "Hyper. Want to put them to bed for me?"
"Sure," Seth smiled.
"I was just kidding, Seth," I told him, my voice automatically growing softer. It was insane how genuinely kind Seth was. "I can do it."
"I'll help you," He squeezed my shoulders. "The quicker I get these kiddos to bed the quicker I can kiss you hello. Sounds like enough ammunition to me."
I laughed as I pulled Henry up and reached for Peter's hand. "You know what, you're so right. Let's see if we can do this in record time!"
It turned out that "record time" was about an hour and a half. We had to give them a bath and then brush teeth and read stories, which doesn't seem like it would take that long, but it took forever. I really didn't mind hanging out with the kids, I just really, really wanted to hang out with Seth more.
It was thirty minutes after their bedtime when Seth and I finally exited Peter's room. I had picked up a version of Peter Pan that I hoped he hadn't had, and realy life Peter had insisted that I read it twice to him, and then Seth read it once, too. Basically, I was Peter Pan'd out.
Seth slowly closed the door behind him as to not wake them up; they had fallen asleep during the last story time, and then reached for my hand.
"Mm, thank God," I murmured, rolling my neck. "I don't think I could have taken Peter Pan one more time."
"Yeah?" Seth suddenly stopped walking. He stepped back until his back was against the hallway wall and then tugged on my arm. I could see a naughty gleam in his eyes that made me want to shimmy right out of my clothes and let him do what he wanted to me, but I restrained.
I did, however, walk closer to him.
Seth's thumbs swept against my cheeks. Our eyes found each other and locked. I would never get tired of Seth eyes for as long as I lived. They were filled with kindness, but they were smoldering when he was turned on. They were beautiful.
I was about to tell him just that, when he suddenly latched his arms around my thighs, and lifted me in the air.
I squealed, and then immediately covered my mouth, nervously peering towards the boy's rooms.
"Seth!" I laughed as he lowered himself to the ground and then set me in his lap.
He grinned. "Kissing time."
"Not here," I blushed. "The boys."
"The boys can see kissing," He leaned forward and brushed my lips against his. "Of course they can't see... other stuff, but I wasn't planning on that. Do you have a dirty mind or something, Janesie?"
I blushed ruthlessly. "No!"
"I am quite sure you do," He laughed, pulling my face towards him. Seth pressed his mouth to mine, and I immediately melted into him, all teasing and flirting floating away from me as I forgot about anything and everything other than Seth's lips and how amazing they felt every single freaking time.
What started as gentle quickly turned passionate, which I was beginning to realize was a trend that we might not ever be able to break. I pressed myself closer to him and tangled my fingers into the tops of his hair. Seth's hands felt up and down the back of my body, sliding overtop of my butt and then going all the way to my shoulders.
I needed more.
I pressed my lower center against his, and I merely moaned at how hard he was. I wanted to feel him again so badly. My muscles were already tightening at the expected pleasure that came from reliving the memories of last night. I had never felt so pleased in my entire life; I wanted to feel it again... and again... and again.
I dropped my hand down to his lap and rubbed overtop of his pants. I hadn't gotten a chance to touch Seth last night; he was the one doing most of that, but tonight I wanted to. I wanted to make him feel the same way that he had made me feel.
Seth's breath caught in his throat as I pressed my palm tighter against him, palming his erection through his pants.
"Crap," He pulled away, breathless.
"Mm," I kissed his jaw, and then pulled my hand up so that I could begin unbuttoning his shirt.
"Jane," His hand covered mine. "Not here," He spoke, breathless, and with a little bit of a chuckle. "The boys, remember?"
My eyes widened. Actually, no, I had completely forgotten. How had I lost my mind in less than one minute?
I bit my lip. "Could you please find us an adequate hiding spot, than? I need you, and I don't want to wait."
Seth raised his eyebrows. "That's really sexy," He mumbled to himself as he rubbed his jaw and looked around.
"Come on," I reached for his hands and pulled him up. I tugged him into the large bathroom that we had used to get the boys ready for bed earlier and shut the door behind us. I had turned to lock it when suddenly Seth's hands were all over me.
I laughed. "Hold on!"
"Mm, I can't," He nuzzled his face into my neck and began sucking on that spot that drove me crazy.
Fuck it.
I completely went flaccid in his arms, allowing my entire body to fall into him as he gently sucked on my skin. Seth's warm, warm hands gave off so much heat that I swear I became electric for him, lighting up every time he touched me, and touched me he did. Seth stroked his hands up my sides, down my thighs, up my chest, and then finally, finally, once I felt like I was about to explode, he stroked his hands along my breasts.
I let out a soft whimper, and almost immediately he pulled down at the collar of my shirt, pulling that, along with my bra down just enough for my nipples to peak out from underneath of my shirt. Though my back was still pressed into his front, and he wasn't able to see me, Seth somehow expertly teased and touched me like this. He just barely brushed his fingertips against my nipples, hardening them almost instantly, and then once my toes were beginning to curl he began to flick his thumbs against them in a fast rhythm that drove me insane.
"I want to taste you," He whispered into my ear. His lips lingered down to the back of my neck. He placed a soft, gentle kiss there. "Can I do that?"
My body was screaming at my brain that nothing in the world would feel better than this incredible, sexy man using his tongue in places that were very, very unholy, but I had a different idea that somehow seemed even better.
I turned so that I was facing him, and then slowly shook my head.
Seth frowned a little, and then his face slipped into a concerned expression that was so Seth it made my heart ache in my chest. He totally deserved what I was about to give him.
I watched him with a small smile on my lips as I descended to my knees. I had no idea that seeing him realize what I was trying to do would turn me on so much, but I swear I got so wet watching his eyes bulge and jaw tense. I reached for the buttons on his jeans and slowly opened them. A vein in his neck pulsated as I slid down his zipper and pulled his pants down. I stroked him through his boxers, and Seth gritted his teeth together, closing his eyes for a moment longer than usual.
I pulled his boxers down, excited now, and was immediately privilege to the up-close view of how ginormous Seth was. If I was being honest, I wondered for a second how he fit without seriously hurting me, but I realized that Seth probably made it the least painful experience for me possible, and I was determined to give him something incredible, too.
I knew that my skills at this particular trade were pretty impressive; when you date a guy for such a long time and won't have sex, blowjobs practically become a sport, but I hadn't wanted to please my ex the way that I wanted to please Seth.
Before it was something that I had to get through quickly, so I learned all the ways that did it quickly for him, now, I wanted to use those ways too, but I wanted to give him just enough to drive him crazy, and then slow it down enough to make him wild.
Seth's breaths were heavy and rapid as he stroked my jaw and then tangled his fingers in my hair. He didn't fist my head or push me down farther on him, and for that reason I did just that.
Suddenly, his hands grabbed my arms, and he pulled me up. In one swift motion he set me down on the counter and reached for my pants. We were both possessed as we frantically pulled my pants down and then he lifted my underwear overtop of my thighs, throwing them both off onto the floor.
I braced myself against the countertop, and then Seth pressed himself inside of me. All of him. I gasped, my mouth holding open as I stretched and accustomed to the new heated, pulsating, very large presence inside of me. I placed my hand on his chest and closed my eyes, breathing deeply, my hormones racing a thousand miles a minute.
Seth kissed me gently. "Did that hurt?" He asked oh, so sweetly.
I slowly shook my head. "No. It doesn't really hurt, it just feels really tight."
Seth moaned against my mouth.
"Shh," I just barely murmured, wrapping my arms around his neck and moving so that he was deeper inside of me.
Seth tightly grabbed my hips as he began moving, and in an instant the slight discomfort morphed into an insatiable need for him to fill me up completely. He was hitting spots and releasing endorphins and driving me wild, oh, so wild. I was holding in my moans as best as I could when all I really wanted to do was scream out and cling onto him and beg him never to stop. He groped my ass in his hands as he moved in a faster rhythm now. I was on the edge embarrassingly quickly.
"Fuck, Seth," I just barely whispered out with a quick breath. I tilted my head back and dug my nails into his back. My toes were tightly curled as I slammed my mouth shut.
"Already?" I asked myself, only after it was out did I realize that I whispered it.
Seth moaned loudly in my ear. It was too loud. We were being too loud. I pressed hand overtop of his mouth. He pulled it away, kissing my palm. Seth leaned in close to whisper in my ear, his tempo unyielding.
"Cum, Jane," He stroked his fingers against my nipples, and I gasped at the touch. "I love it when you cum." He pressed his thumbs against them and I shook. He had totally found what did it for me. He twisted them gently in his fingers and I came apart so quickly it would have been embarrassing if it didn't feel so fucking good.
"Don't stop," I gasped, throwing my head back.
Seth gently pulled my face down. "Open your eyes," He spoke sweetly. "Look at me."
I batted them open. He took my face in like water; the way that my forehead was creased and my mouth was open and my cheeks were as flushed as I knew they were.
He twisted again, harder this time.
I gasped, and then I built up, slower this time, like I was rising, rising, rising, rising up a cliff and then I dangled there. He rubbed my nipples firmly now, and I finally exploded all around him.
The feeling was pure ecstasy. Like nothing I had ever felt before, only I had felt it last night. It somehow felt even better, and I had been convinced that wasn't possible. It was like every nerve fiber of my being radiated with pure pleasure, consuming me. I let out a small whine as I rode my orgasm around. It felt even more amazing with Seth inside of me. I could feel myself pulsing around him, tightening and feeling the contours of him.
Seth's hands tightened around my waist. "Where?" He gasped, staring down at where we were connecting.
It took my fuzzy post-orgasm brain a moment to realize what he was asking. I took a deep breath and then placed my hands on his chest, pushing him away. I dropped back down on my knees.
"Here," I murmured, meeting my eyes with his as I took him in my mouth. I didn't even have time to do anything before he listened.
Seth's POV
Jane led the way out of the bathroom with a nervous giggle and messy hair.
I don't think she could believe what had just transpired in the Black's bathroom. Honestly, I couldn't either. I really had no plan on sleeping with her tonight, just doing a whole lot of talking, but I guess both of our bodies had other ideas.
I still found it so amazing how magnetic our bodies were to one another. After the first time, I could imagine that we wouldn't be able to ignore it anymore, and tonight proved that. It was highly juvenile, but I fucking lived for it.
Jane had been so sexy tonight, and I would never forget the sight of her on her knees for me. And the fact that it was on top of a counter was even better. She was so unimaginably sexy. I couldn't believe that she was mine.
I laughed to myself as I tucked my shirt back in.
Jane tilted her face in my direction. "What?" She asked, biting the corner of her cheek.
"Nothing," I chuckled and reached for her hand, entwining my fingers with hers. "I just can't believe that we have an empty house and an empty apartment at our disposal and yet we choose a house filled with three kids to have dirty, bathroom sex."
Jane blushed. "That was so bad!" Her eyes widened. "I'm the worst babysitter ever!"
"Hey," I squeezed her hand. "That would only be if you got caught! Which you didn't. Plus, it was my fault really; I shouldn't have groped you in the hallway like that."
"You're right," Jane giggled. "Really, I had no choice in the matter. As soon as the groping begins I lose all ability to think rationally."
I squeezed her shoulders. "Do you feel relaxed enough to talk now?"
Jane blushed. "Was that your grand plan, mister?" She narrowed her eyes at me. "Sex me up and then expect me to tell you all my secrets?"
"No, actually," I laughed. "If you must know, I brought a different form of persuasion."
She raised her eyebrows at me. God, how sexy Jane was without even trying. "What is that?" She asked.
"Hold on just one second," I kissed her cheek. I ran out to the car and got the bag out of the backseat. I pulled it out once she offered me a puzzled expression when I stepped inside.
Jane's dark eyes connected with the wine bottle, and realization filled her lips that slowly pulled up into a sly smile.
"Liquid courage?" She asked with a knowing smile.
"Liquid courage," I nodded my head.
Jane sighed. "I'll get the wine glasses," She grumbled.
I kissed the side of her head as she walked by and then went over to the living room. I started a fire in the fireplace and turned off the lights. I turned the TV on but kept it on mute; I didn't want it to look totally inappropriate if Jake and Nessie got home. I reminded myself never to think about what went on in their kid's bathroom when I was on patrol.
Jane returned a few seconds later with two wine glasses dangling from her delicate fingers and then took them from her to pour us each a glass.
"What did you get?" Jane murmured as she took a sip.
"Not sure. I always just ask my mom and she instructs me. Never have been much of a wine drinker."
Jane offered me a pleasantly surprised smile after tasting it. "No? Than how come you always have it?"
"Because you like it," I told her simply.
Jane sighed. "Wow, Seth. I wish I was a writer so that I could feature you in a romance novel."
"I can be featured just in your story, Janesie. Then you don't have to get jealous."
Jane giggled. "So," She began uneasily. "If we're going to talk, I guess we could start there."
"With," I struggled for a moment. "Stories?"
"No!" Jane laughed, taking a big gulp of her wine. "With... jealousy."
I raised my eyebrows at her. "Are you jealous about something?"
"No," Jane whispered back sweetly. "Not at all. You're not doing anything that would make me jealous. But that was definitely something that I... struggled with, before I mean."
"Jane," I whispered to her. I reached out and brushed her messy hair behind her ear. "Sweetheart, it's no surprise that you had a jealousy streak. There were reasons that you felt uncomfortable about other girls. There were other girls."
Jane cringed. "Jeeze."
"I didn't mean that in a mean way against you, babe."
"I know," Jane sighed. "It's just kind of embarrassing."
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," I quickly reassured her. "You did nothing wrong. He slept with your friend after your parents died. That's the scummiest of the scum, Jane. You don't understand, but that's the kind of guy that my friends and I would mess up."
Jane bit the corner of her lip. "But, the thing is... I didn't tell you all of it," Her voice was quiet. "Yes, he did sleep with my best friend, but that was after he slept with a lot of other girls. He cheated on me a lot," Jane admitted, suddenly looking very small. "Like, a lot, a lot. The first time I got a text message from an anonymous number detailing everything that he had done with her roommate with a picture of them making out. It was two weeks after my parents died. Two weeks. And it happened so many more times. More times than I would like to admit."
My heart deflated and fell into my stomach. It ached so badly for the pain that she had been privy to after her parent's death and then with her fuck-boy boyfriend. It hurt me, how badly I wished that I could go back and be that person to wrap her up and hold her while she cried and make sure that nothing ever, ever hurt her again from that point forward. Honestly, I couldn't wrap my brain around how he had done it in the first place; how had he hurt her at all, especially after her parents died. I couldn't understand how a person could be so heartless.
"Jane," I told her softly, though it didn't seem like I could make my voice gentle enough. "You don't have to explain yourself. You were hurting so badly. You deserved someone who was there for you, not someone who made you hurt more."
Jane slowly nodded her head. "I've started to see that. You've helped me to see that even more. But it's still hard, knowing that I just accepted being treated like crap. I still cringe when my phone buzzes and I don't recognize the number."
I rubbed her shoulders. "You never have to worry about that with me."
Jane smiled gently at me. "I know that, but it's still hard. One thing I am sure of, though, is that I learned how to stand up for myself. After, I just realized how much of a doormat I was. I was already shy, and then my parents died. I just didn't have anything in me to fight him, and I think a big part of me realized that if I left him I wouldn't have anything. I know now that I should have been stronger. It took a lot for me to finally leave."
"What made you leave?" I asked her.
Jane sighed. "The best friend incident. I mean, I shouldn't have been that surprised; she had the title, but she was never really my best friend. She wasn't there when my parents died. Neither of them were. She showed up at my parent's funeral with a flask and got me drunk. My pastor had to take me home. She went off to college and ditched me after that."
"God, Jane," I let out a long breath.
"Take a drink," She suggested. "I told you. My life is dark. You're not going to get any fairytales or butterflies."
"We can make our own fairytales and butterflies," I told her. "I promise."
She giggled, and then took four gulps, finishing the rest of her wine and quickly pouring another glass.
"Okay," She let out a long breath. "What's next?"
I laughed. "You don't have to feel like I'm interrogating you, Jane."
"I don't," She chuckled. "It's just a lot. I literally have never told this to anyone before. Feel special."
"I do!" I laughed. "Thanks for trusting me enough with this."
Jane blew some hair out of her eyes. "Thanks for dealing with my issues."
"You're not a job, Jane. You're an incredible woman. I'm not a great guy for treating you with respect."
"Ugh, I'm turned on again."
I laughed. "Is that liquid courage Jane talking?"
"No," She giggled, and then blushed. "Just regular, non-virgin Jane. And thanks for understanding about earlier, too."
"You're welcome, Jane. But, like I said, you really don't need to thank me."
"No, I think I do," She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "They say that verbalizing appreciation for your partner helps to keep a relationship going."
I couldn't help myself from bursting out laughing. "Oh yeah, Janesie?" I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Who is they?"
"Not sure. But I'm sore I've heard that before somewhere."
"Well than keep the complements coming!" I opened my arm and Jane fell against my chest.
"Mmm," She nuzzled in closer. "I'm so sorry about earlier, Seth. I didn't mean to just shut down like that. The money thing is just super touchy."
"I understand," I ran my palm up and down her arm.
"I tried so hard not to take it, Seth. I tried to fight it, but I honestly just didn't understand what was going on, and plus I was so upset and shocked and in denial," She took a deep breath. "The lawyers said that my best bet was to take the money, and that the guy who... did it, had a lot more money than me and an entire organization behind him with so much power. A trial wasn't 'realistic,' that's literally what they told me. It would have gone on and on for years and I would have run out of money before ever seeking a resolution."
"You didn't have a choice," I murmured.
"Exactly," She sighed. "I told them that if that was the case I didn't want anything, but that wasn't an option either. It was so messy, Seth. He was drunk, and my parents died. If it was anyone else they would have automatically been put away for years, but because he was famous and had a powerful organization backing him, the best option was to take money. And he's just... living. I mean, he isn't able to race anymore, but he's just living his life like nothing happened, like he didn't kill two people."
"That's terrible, Jane," I whispered to her. "I can't imagine how you felt, and being alone through it all," I shook my head. "I wish I would have been there for you."
"It's not your fault," Jane murmured. "But, that's just why I reacted the way I did when you insinuated that I used it. It's sitting in a bank account where it hasn't been touched since I received it. I would never, ever use that. It's blood money; I'm not interested."
"I understand," I told her. "I didn't realize that you felt so strongly about it."
"How could I not?" Jane pulled her head back to look at me. "It's money for my parent's death."
"I know what it is," I brushed her hair out of her eyes. "But your parents wouldn't want you to struggle because you-,"
"Seth," Her voice was suddenly cutting. "Stop it."
I gulped down the rest of my statement and then slowly nodded my head. "I'm sorry," I whispered to her.
Jane closed her eyes and then took a deep breath. She dropped her forehead to my chest and I kissed the back of her head.
"I'm done baring my soul tonight," Jane mumbled. "Don't you have anything terrible that's ever happened to you. Didn't you ever let some girl cheat on you for a year and do nothing about it? Come on, give me a little something."
Jane flipped her leg over top of my lap and straddled me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck and nuzzling her face into my shoulder. I managed to grab her wine glass from her hands before it spilled all over both of us. I set it on the table and latched my hand to the back of her neck, wrapping my other arm around her lower back and hugging her tightly.
"I haven't had that easy of a life, Jane," I told her. "When I lost my dad I felt so lost. Honestly, if it hadn't been for my family and my friends, I don't know where I would be." I immediately realized how my terrible circumstances were nothing like her terrible experiences. Jane hadn't had anyone, the only reason that I survived was because I had people that loved me backing me and helping to pull my head above water.
"I know, Seth," Jane grabbed a bunch of my shirt at the back of my neck. "I'm not trying to diminish what you went through. I know that pain is subjective, and that what I went through wasn't any worse than you."
"I just wish you hadn't been so alone," I told her honestly.
"Well I'm not... anymore. I just can't believe I found you. You're so perfect, Seth. You treat me so good and you don't keep any secrets from me. I can't believe I am able to trust you this much after everything that happened to me. And it's because of you- if you were anyone else I'm sure I wouldn't have told them anything that I told you tonight."
My entire body froze. No secrets. No secrets. The thing is, I did have secrets that I kept from Jane. I had huge, life-changing ones. I turned into a wolf in my spare time, my mom was married to a man who was the father of a vampire, which made me family with them, and oh yeah, I didn't age. Not to mention the biggest secret of all: I had imprinted on Jane. I knew that it would take a lot for her to understand that, but I knew that I needed her to. I needed her to because she trusted me implicitly and I couldn't keep any more secrets from her.
I was going to tell her, immediately. I didn't even have to think twice about it.
"I love you, Jane," I whispered to her, holding her tighter.
I heard Jane's breath catch in her throat, until she let herself go and melted into me. "I love you too, Seth," She whispered back, her voice high and sweet and trusting.
It was happening.
I was telling her.
As soon as I possibly could; I didn't care what anyone had to say about it.
Eee! What are everyone's thoughts on this chapter and everything that Jane shared? What do you think is going to be in the next chapter? I can't wait to hear!
