Chapter 2: When What to My Wondering Eyes Should Appear
Earlier: "Merry Christmas, Lee," Billy said as he headed for the door. He turned and pointed a stern finger at Lee. "Get some sleep and behave, will you!"
Lee smirked and responded, "Don't I always? Merry Christmas."
Lee spoke aloud to himself. "Ah, Billy! You're a lifesaver!" Lee placed the bottle of Dom Perignon into the ice bucket. Grateful for his gift from Billy, he placed it where he could best conceal it from 'Nurse Ratched'. He looked through the paper bag that contained the items he'd requested from his apartment: his special comb, a toothbrush, a change of clothes, and a pair of argyle socks. Lee thought, Billy must've found the socks Amanda gave me, still in the gift box. Lee wondered how Amanda's morning was going and if she'd managed to get any sleep.
Lee looked at his plate; it was full of something disguised as food. Just as he pushed it slightly away from him, the phone rang. It was Amanda.
They spoke for a few minutes. Lee was happy to share the news that the Agency had located Rudolph's daughter. They agreed it was a hell of a Christmas, while both secretly enjoyed each other's company on the phone. They ended their conversation wishing each other a Merry Christmas.
He hung up the phone and took a couple more sips of his "medicine". He caught himself smiling and thought, Maybe Amanda's Christmas cheer is starting to rub off on me? Maybe… or maybe it's the bubbly, or the meds, or hearing her voice on the phone? Lee soon dozed off to sleep.
He was woken up, for what seemed like the umpteenth time, by his nurse, who was checking his vitals. He noticed her name tag read Susan. He shook his head, trying to clear the confusion from his mind. Was I just dreaming? Was someone here? A bit disoriented, he asked her, "Was there another visitor or another patient sharing this room with me earlier? He was a bit older than me. I recall him reciting a poem about his wife. It's on the tip of my tongue. Something about an angel, or his angel …and," he demanded when he noticed his bottle of champagne in her hand, "Where do you think you are going with MY gift?" his tone taking a turn for the worse.
"Mr. Stetson, no one else has been to see you since Mr. Melrose and Ms. Desmond were here early this morning. You must have been dreaming. You are on some potent painkillers," she said calmly. "Your vitals are looking good. Champagne is against the rules, even on Christmas. I'll take good care of it. Now get some rest."
"Get some rest? It's kinda hard when it's like Grand Central Station in here!" he grumbled. "Maybe stop waking me up - that would be a good start!"
"Are you always this cranky?"
Lee tried a different approach. "Susan, it's Christmas. Maybe you could pretend you never saw the bubbly, huh?" He gave her a slight smolder, hoping that would work on her.
"You're cute, Mr. Stetson, but not that cute."
Lee clenched his jaw, and before he could argue with her anymore, she turned on her heel to leave and said, "Merry Christmas."
As exhausted as Lee was, when he closed his eyes, his mind wouldn't rest. These damn meds are not helping, he thought to himself. He found himself thinking about Amanda's version of breaking the rules: sneaking him a Chewy Chubby Bar. The memory made him chuckle softly. Lee paused and thought, I can't believe I actually asked her to bring me a woman, he quietly scolded himself. His memories in the cabin after being shot were still quite vague. He remembered waking with Amanda at his side, cleaning his wound, keeping him warm and fed. He was unclear if his memory of Amanda running her fingers through his hair was a dream or not. He slightly shuddered, remembering his unexpected and unfamiliar emotions of being completely aware of her closeness, the slight scent of her perfume, and the feeling he got whenever she placed her hand on his arm.
He wondered how Amanda's Christmas was going, glad she was safe at home with her family. Oh yeah, that Dan guy was joining them for dinner. What is she doing with him anyway? He sounds so banal. Maybe he can sit at the kid's table, he smirked. As his mind relaxed, he nodded off to sleep once again.
Lee stands at the head of a table with at least forty seated people before him. The atmosphere is calm and airy. A beam of sunlight shines on the sea of faces. Lee recognizes a few people directly in front of him but others are blurry. Lee searches for an empty seat, without succeeding. He can hear everyone quietly chatting as they eat what looks like a holiday meal. 'I think that's Debbie. Is that Celeste? Oh God, keep moving, Lee', he thought. Nobody looks at him; nobody pulls out a chair; he feels invisible. Lee's curiosity pulls him, wanting to see if he knows anyone else there. He slowly strolls alongside the table. He hears an unfamiliar voice in the distance. He looks over and sees a man, a bit out of shape and balding. He is sitting at a desk by himself, muttering something about the Doppler Radar. Lee shakes his head and turns his focus back to the table.
Suddenly, a grin takes over Lee's face. Finally, he sees Billy, Jeanie, and the girls. Francine and Leatherneck are there as well, with their backs to Lee. Lee glances around, but there's still no place to sit. Billy is the first person to acknowledge his presence. He smiles at Lee and gestures for him to keep going. Passing more blurry faces, he spots his uncle, the Colonel. He's in full uniform and simply nods at Lee. Lee stiffens up, straightens his posture, but just for a moment. Taking a few more steps, he comes to a halt near the end of the table. He can't contain his smile when he hears Dotty. He'd know that voice anywhere. Lee sees her as she's rambling to a man next to her. His face is cloudy. 'Could that be Amanda's Dad?' Lee thought. Next to the man are Philip, Jamie, and …my Amanda. Amanda makes eye contact with Lee, heightening all of his senses. She's wearing white and is absolutely radiant. Lee sees an empty chair next to her and asks, "Is that seat taken?"
Amanda beams. "No, not exactly." Lee tries to move. Even though his feet feel like they're stuck in cement, an overwhelming sense of belonging comes over him. He can't fight the feeling that he's finally found "his" place. Lee looks into her smiling brown eyes. "I'm coming, Amanda, although it may take me some time."
She answers in a whisper, "I can wait."
Lee smiles at her understanding. He suddenly becomes aware of two people who are sitting, facing Amanda's family, with their backs to him. They stand and turn to face him, looking exactly like the wedding photo Lee keeps at his bedside. Lee swallows hard at the realization of seeing his parents. His Mother and Father reach out to him. Neither speaks, but he can see in their faces everything he needs to know. They are, and always will be, 'with' him. Lee hugs his father. He finds peace in being able to tell him he loves him. He then embraces his mother, afraid that when he lets go, they will be gone again. With a lump in his throat and tears collecting in his eyes, he manages another, 'I love you and miss you.' No more words are spoken. Lee takes in every second of his mother's embrace. He can physically 'feel' her arms around him. As Lee holds on to his mother, he can no longer fight his emotions. He starts to sob uncontrollably.
TBC
