Disclaimer
Ratchet and Clank is a trademark of Sony Computer Entertainment
America, Inc. James Blunt can sing. He's got my thumbs up. Here is the story. Enjoy.
Ratchet started to sore. He was very tried they were still clearing the galaxy of the tyharrnoids even after the dread zone debacle. He dreamed of Sasha, that Cazar was not far from his mind nearly every waking monument and most of his sleeping as well. Slowly he was rising to consciousness. Something was different, he could see and he wasn't awake. A glowing vision of a white female lombax with black stripes.
In unison they asked, "Who are you?"
She said, "Nyssa."
He said, "Ratchet."
Nyssa said, "You are who we seek, I have been sent to find you and…" She looked away , as if listening to something he could not hear. "I have to go," with great urgency in her voice, she disappeared.
"Dude, Dude wake up, you're talkin' in you're sleep, dude," Skidd's voice pulled him back to conscious.
"As I was saying," loudly said Qwark.
As he continued on with his brief to the Q-force. All of the Q-force was there expect for Sasha who was Metropolis Mayor. Ratchet believed that the GP (Galactic President) got her installed there just to get her away from him. Bastard thought Ratchet.
Pointing at his crudely drawn battle plan "I will unselfishly put my self in harms way to draw the fire of the enemy's defence system." everyone could see that Qwark had drawn himself well out of range of the defence system and was firing B.G.A.M.D into it.
Everyone shook they heads.
Qwark continued , "While I perform this act of selfless heroism. Ratchet will enter the base through the sewer system."
"What? Again?" shouted Ratchet.
The drawing showed Ratchet knee deep in raw sewage. And further along the pipe was the Plummer attacking a giant king ameboid with nothing but a toilet plunger.
Qwark continued on with his brief oblivious to Ratchet protest whether he was choosing to or he was too wrapped up in his own voice to hear Ratchet we just don't know.
Meanwhile elsewhere in the galaxy. A very moody Cazar paced the floor of a starship. She pacing because she was pissed. She was pissed because she was coming into season and she was going to the place were the one lombax in the galaxy she had the hots for was. She had seen other Lombaxies and Cazars in season lose control completely.
"Fuck, crap, Fuck!" was all Sasha could think. "What the hell is taking so long trooper," She barked at the poor ranger. "Mama, were at full speed now we can't go any faster," the ranger meekly replied.
"Aarr…" groaned Sasha and stormed out the door.
"Well, somebody got a stick jammed up there…" The Ranger was cut off as Sasha stuck hear head thought the door. "That it, you just earned you're self 3 months of sewer patrol on Aquatous." said Sasha in a way that reminder the ranger of his old drill Sargent.
"Fuck!" muttered the ranger under his breath.
(author starts coughing , just tasted my cold tea , it's strong enough to grow hair on your fingernails. It's Good. Sorry about that back to the story)
Three hours later the ship docks with the Phoenix. The Q-force was line up at the air-lock. Sasha entered, she stiffened at the sight of Ratchet and her heart beat quickened.
"Good Day, Mayor," said Qwark in a brown nose kind of way.
"Predicted the fuckin' weather now, Qwark," snapped Sasha, "look at the state of this place, all of you are going to clean this place until I can see my retinal pattern in this wall." everyone jumped into action at the force of Sasha voice.
"You," She pointed at Ratchet, "Come with me to my office, were going to review you're…performance."
"Ov, Somevne iz going to git it." Helgar muttered to Qwark.
Sasha heard but said nothing she thought "Oh he'll get it all right."
As Ratchet follow Sasha to her office he could smell a scent that would have cause him great embarrassment had it not been for his armour.
As the door slid close behind Ratchet, Sasha grabbed him by the collar of his armour.
"What the Fuck?" Said a startled Ratchet.
"Exactly!" Said Sasha as she ripped his chest armour off.
"Oh, Shit!" As Ratchet realized what was happening, he turned to run away but Sasha ripped off his pants armour and tackled him over the desk. Fur and furnisher when everywhere.
Five hours later. Sasha and Ratchet were curled up together on the floor in nothing but there boots. Still panting hard. There was a nock on the door. "Be with you in a minute," said Sasha as she got up and looked for her uniform, she saw it, it was in tatters were she had ripped it off. She looked at Ratchet who being left alone for a second promptly fell asleep. She dragged him to closet and stuffed him in legs over his head. She also tossed her uniform and his armour in. She got out a new uniform and jumped in it. Just then the door opened and Big Al was pushed in by the rest of the Q-force. "Crashing O.S.esss," said Al with his lisp as he saw the carnage that was what was left of the furnisher, "What happen?" asked Al.
"When I came in, I just hated everything," said Sasha with her uniform on backwards.
Fin
I can only hope you laugh as much as I did when I was writing this and I hope you appreciate it too because the friggin Microsoft word processor cashed three times when I was writing it, which really pissed me off , Thank you, Bill Gates! (sarcasm layered on so thick you could cut it with a knife.)
