PART THREE
The two story tall façade of the marble and brick school that was H.G. Wells Junior High School reared up before future and present Phil Diffy. Older Phil started feeling introspective and nostalgic as he looked over the school and accompanied his younger counterpart up the front steps. It seemed like yesterday when he had been a young man stranded in this century and sent to school in those already outdated Seventies-era clothes by his father who had raced to faultily research this century. Pim had raced on ahead of them to be rid of her big brother and her older brother rather than be seen alongside either of them.
"I think I always subconsciously loved this time period." Middle-aged Phil Diffy had escorted his younger self to school. "The clothes, the technology, the culture…" Younger Phil looked to his older self as if he was a big brother rather himself plucked from the future. He thought he had aged well. He still had his hair, but he was obviously larger in size. His mustache was sort of sporty and kind of thin as it descended to an obvious goatee on his sharp chin. His arms were bigger, both muscular and brawny, and his chest as well as his abdomen had increased in age and as he noticed wrinkles on his older self's face, vanity forced him to insecurely check himself for traces of those wrinkles.
"This brings back so many memories…." Older Phil trudged on along side him. "Tanner, Seth…. you know, I haven't seen Tia since…"
"She moved away."
"Oh yeah…." Adult Phil sounded a bit disappointed. "Last time I saw her was in Boston with her cousin, London, the hotel heiress…."
Phil turned his head away as he heard a few chords of "The Suite Life with Zack and Cody" theme song echoing through his head. The two of them stood in the opening hallway of the school toward the main corridor going left and rights, two highways of students going past and around them, wandering, socializing and exploring. They were both tourists to the age. Young Phil experiencing the teenagers of this age, and older Phil re-examining the persons of his past from the view of nostalgia. A brief sigh, older Phil placed his arm on his younger self. "Look over there," He pointed to a blonde cheerleader at a water fountain. "In another year, Bridget's going to get you into trouble with Keely so keep on your toes."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Adult Phil rattled off a few more predictions. "And Chris Wright over there is going to sell you your first car, a lemon, and Dave Barr is going to smash into it on purpose and not pay for damages. Tina Scalf is going do something to break Keely's heart…"
"Should you be telling me this?"
"You want me to stop?"
"No!"
"Okay," Adult Phil continued spilling dirty and dire premonitions. "Kristy Whitney poses nude for Playboy, Darryl Hinton drops dead of an overdose during graduation, Lamar Short gets shot during a liquor store robbery a month after graduating, Tanner Fitzpatrick gets a football scholarship and loses it because of a bad knee and the Goth chick gets a recording contract from American Idol…" The future revelations were cut short by the bald assistant school principal breaking up a public show of affection between students Brad Hampton and Lily Munroe. "Hackett?" Adult Phil looked at his old principal. "I could have sworn he once had hair!"
"He's still alive in 2121?" Phil asked.
"No," Older Phil reacted. "But his great-grand-daughter is worse! She's a gym teacher!"
"What's she like?"
"Picture Hackett in a dress with boobs." They cringed disgustedly together.
"Picture who in a dress with what?" Keely Teslow glided up silently behind them. Stunned and surprised, both Phil's spun around in shock. She was looking incredible as usual. Her round blue eyes had a regal sparkle to them touched by the long strands of blonde hair framing her perfect features. Her purse and books over her left shoulder, she was clad in a form-fitting blue sweater outlining her thin frame and a pleated white skirt hanging down to just a foot off the school floor. Older Phil took a deep breath and fell in love with her all over again. To him, she hadn't changed a day. He started to move forward to embrace her as usual, but his teenage counterpart caught him and pressed him back.
"Keely, baby…" Older Phil started reaching to hold her and his younger self pulled him back to stop him. Keely had stepped back to avoid the contact, but then Phil flashed that everything's normal grin and she calmed down. Realizing he wasn't married at the moment, and uncomfortable with his wife's young self, he realized he wasn't a creep and kept himself back.
"Keely…" Young Phil reached into his mental bag of improvised excuses. "This is my… uncle. Uncle… Weam Diffy. He's a great guy!"
"He is?" Keely rolled her regal blue eyes nervously trying to figure this out. "So… he's from the future too? Does this mean you're going home?"
"Uh…." Two Phil's started looking for excuses to keep Keely from realizing the future. Other students wandered past them through the hall while they talked uninterested and unaware of the conversation.
"Actually," Adult Phil started talking. "My time machine only goes in one direction… the past. Yeah… I can get you an autograph from Xena the Warrior Princess."
"No, that's…" Keely started slowly and discreetly shaking her head as a Xena cry echoed through the firmament of her mind. "That's not necessary." Something wasn't right here, but she was sure Phil would tell her later if he told her at all.
"You know…" Older Phil beamed in love again upon seeing his wife as a teenager again. "Phil has told me a lot about you. He said you were beautiful…"
"He said I was beautiful?"
"Uncle Phil.. I mean, Uncle Weam…" Phil was reacting curiously confused. "What are you doing?"
"I've got an idea…" Adult Phil wanted his past self to score extra points in his relationship with his future wife. He took out his wallet and started pulling out cash. "Why don't you two get a pizza and catch a movie after school? I've got all this old money left over from the Eighties I've been trying to get rid of…"
"Uncle Weam…" Phil took away his wallet. "What are you doing? You don't have to do this."
"Actually, I'm free." Keely shined brightly. "I've got no plans and I've been trying to spend some quality time with Phil."
"I want to further your relationship with Keely…"
"You don't need to do this." Phil rolled his eyes and did a double take. "There's nothing wrong between Keely and I…"
"Phil…" Keely took the wallet from Phil to give back to his uncle. "Why are you doing this? Don't you want to spend time with me?"
"Of course, I want to, Keely…" Phil reacted embarrassed. "I just don't think we need his charity."
"It's not charity." Older Phil responded. "I want to encourage this relationship."
"Encourage it…" Teen Phil looked to his future self. "Or speed it along?"
"So, Mister Diffy…" Bald and suspicious Principal Neil Hackett had turned toward them from the throngs of students passing through the hall.
"Yes?" Both Phil's answered.
"Who is this gentleman with you?" Hackett continued curiously suspicious.
"Principal Hackett…" Keely had become quite adept with Phil in telling the truth and leaving out risky facts. "This is Phil's Uncle Weam."
"Oh…." Hackett looked over the slightly overweight and goateed figure. "Another… Diffy." He circled around the mature figure, and saw the overt resemblance to young Phil as they stared each other down. For as long as he knew the Diffys, Hackett felt they were either terrorists or extra-terrestrials in human form and as weird as things became around them, he was leaning more and more to the far-fetched explanation. "I know all about you, Diffys, and the weird stuff that happens around you. I'll be watching you, mister. Don't think that I don't know the score with you and the weird things around you."
"Oh yeah…" Phil had been rehearsing this little conversation for years in the back of his mind in order to throw Hackett off on his snooping of his family, but he had never gotten around to using it. This seemed like the best time. "You mean like my "brother" Lloyd trying to be a great inventor or my… sister-in-law creating gastronomic nightmares in trying to be a great cook…"
"Oh, yeah, that…" Hackett glanced to Phil then to his supposed uncle. "I guess that would explain a lot of the stuff I've seen…"
"Like my niece trying to conquer the world?" Adult Phil leaned into to his former principal and placed his arm around him as if they were finally colleagues. "She's going to be a problem some day." He whispered.
"Yeah….." Hackett believed he was getting juicy Diffy family secrets. Keely lightly giggled under breath, and Phil pretended to look away as Hackett's nosy bubble burst.
"But I'm so proud of my nephew Phil…" Adult Phil dropped his arm around his younger self and beamed over himself. "He's going to be a famous magician someday with the way he makes things levitate and appear out of no…."
"Uncle Weam, I think you're pushing it." Phil told his future self.
"What, uh, yeah, I maybe am…" They shared a secret look that Keely noticed and started wondering about it.
"Well," Hackett lightly took a deep breath. "Finally someone normal from the Diffy family tree who tells it like it is… You know, I'm in sudden need of a substitute. Could you fill in for me and cover one of the classes?"
"I'd love to!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Uncle Phil…I mean, Uncle Weam…" Phil started panicking and waving his arms. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"What could happen?" Adult Phil asked his younger self. A goofy grin later, the alleged "Weam Diffy" was walking off practically as Neil Hackett's new best friend. Keely leaned over to Phil a bit and narrowed her eyes to the mysterious uncle then to Phil.
"Phil," Her voice responded low and a bit breathy. "Why are you so antagonistic to your uncle? I mean, you two look so much alike, I'd have thought you were close." She grew curious. "What's the real truth here?"
"I can't tell you, Keely." Phil reacted apologetic and sorrowful. "But this time I really can't tell you."
"Why not?" She looked back to see how far the alleged uncle was then back to Phil. "He's not really your uncle, is he?" She guessed, her left eyebrow arching to hear another delicious fact.
"Keely," Phil looked at her eager to tell the truth. "I can't tell you this time."
"Oh, o… kay." She forced herself to accept it. "I guess it involves some sort space-time thing…"
"Kind of…"
"Okay, I can accept that." Her eyes panned slightly depressed to the floor then realized what she still possessed. She realized she still had the man's wallet. "I've still got your uncle's wallet. Maybe there's something embarrassing in it!" She turned away to look in it.
"What, oh, I'll just take…." Phil eagerly and quickly tried to take it. He barely had it before she overwhelmingly curiously yanked it back away from him, but then she saw things that sparked her interest. It was something she saw… a holographic video identification card for a person named Philip Weam Diffy from the future and another for the 1990s. That wasn't unusual at first considering that family names repeating through relatives, but then she saw a picture of herself and Phil in graduation gowns, and under that a picture of herself a bit older wearing a college t-shirt, and under that one a picture of herself, a bit older and in a hospital bed beaming ear to ear and holding a newborn baby. She looked nervously to Phil trying to wrestle the wallet from her fingers. Gritting his teeth fearfully, he just knew he did not want her to see those pictures. Even as Phil finally snatched the wallet from her, Keely knew somehow that Uncle Weam was not who she had been told he was.
"Phil…." She nervously tossed her long golden locks aside for the moment. "Why does your uncle have pictures of me? Of me and you together? I never posed those pictures! Whose baby is that? Who is your uncle, really?"
"Well," Phil chuckled as if it was a joke. "Well, he's certainly not me from our future!" He grinned trying to conceal the truth, but Keely knew Phil better than that. It was then that he realized like his future counterpart that he a big mouth and talked too much. With a faint breath coming up out of her lungs, and the realization she had seen her future, her eyes rolled back and she fainted from the massive realization hitting her brain at once. Phil quickly caught her head lolling back to his shoulder and held on to her in his arms.
"Something tells me that I could have phrased that differently." He told himself.
"Class…" Hackett walked into Messerschmidt's first period science class. "I've got some bad news for you, but Mr. Messerschmidt had to leave early. It seems he came down with a sudden case of food poisoning."
Sitting in a desk in the front row, Pim Diffy turned and victoriously slapped and high-fived her hand into Danny Dawkins' left hand as if they had been a part of it. Bradley Farmer behind them was grinning ear to ear.
"All is not lost…" Hackett continued. "You won't miss your science test after all because I found you a substitute. Everyone welcome, Pim and Phil's Uncle Weam Diffy!"
"Hey kids," Adult Phil walked in grinning ear to ear. "Welcome to the wonderful world of science!"
"He's everywhere." In the front row of seats, Pim suddenly groaned. "I can't get away from him, he's everywhere!" Her scream exploded from her lips and filled the school.
