Life's Twists
Disclaimer: Characters, plots, places, and techniques are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. As such, they are the property of her, as well as Viz and whatever company released Ranma 1/2 in Japan.
Chapter 2: The Best Friend
Ranma woke up early on Saturday morning. Something didn't feel right, like someone nearby was intent on killing him at any moment. He quickly scanned the room as he jumped on top of the panda that was sleeping next to him. He found nothing.
He suddenly fell to the floor as his father rolled out from under him and held up a sign. Self-training today, boy. Ranma scowled. 'Self-training' meant that since Genma had taken a beating the day before, he was going to sleep in.
Noticing the bad feeling was gone, Ranma quickly dressed himself and left the room. Moving through the dark, Ranma made his way to the door leading outside and to the dojo. He opened the door to find it was raining softly again.
Does it ever stop raining around here?
Kasumi sighed as she held a good friend of both herself and Akane close. They had been sparring since Kasumi found her in the dojo nearly half an hour ago, and she had suddenly lost it on Kasumi. She had struck blindly at Kasumi several times before just collapsing.
Now Kasumi sat, holding the crying girl. Their weapons lay on the ground nearby, forgotten as Kasumi cradled the younger girl. The girl sometimes came by late at night whenever she thought nobody would notice, but Kasumi rarely slept. She had taken to sparring at such late hours with the girl as a way to help focus herself.
Kasumi became aware of Ranma coming towards the dojo, and she silently thanked her greater self for passing along the information from her twin. Her friend would not appreciate being seen like this by a complete stranger.
"Ukyou, someone's coming," Kasumi spoke softly as the crying girl stiffened. "He's new around here, so do try to be nice to him."
Kasumi got up as Ukyou pulled away from her, and Ukyou wiped the tears from her face. They both retrieved their weapons and turned to see a grumbling and wet redhead enter the dojo. Kasumi spoke before Ranko had a chance to notice either of the other girls in the room.
"Ranko," she used a firm voice this time. "What are you doing up at this hour?" Ranko jumped and stuttered out a shaky reply.
"H-Hey Kasumi," she took a deep breath before continuing. "I usually wake up at this time to spar with Pops, but he ain't gettin' up." She frowned as she spotted Ukyou. "You remind me of someone... Who're you?" Something about the way she asked that gave Kasumi a bad feeling.
Ukyou slipped her spatulas into her bandolier before replying. "I might ask ya' the same thing, sugar. Difference is, I don't think I know any redheads."
Kasumi broke in before Ranko spoke, earning a glare from them both. "This is Ukyou, Ranma. She's a friend of ours." Ranko raised an eyebrow at being called by her real name in her cursed form. "Ukyou, this is Ranma. He's Akane's fiancé and is now staying with us along with his father."
Ukyou took a hard look at Ranko, and then turned to Kasumi with a raised eyebrow. "Looks like a girl to me," she said. Kasumi caught a note of depression, and Ukyou continued. "I didn't know Acchan swung that way." Kasumi noted that Ranko had froze somewhere along the line.
Ukyou blink-blinked. "Wait a second," she got an angry expression on her face. "Why do ya' keep calling her a guy?" Ranko thawed out and stared at Ukyou, saucer-eyed.
"Ucchan?" Ukyou and Kasumi both froze. Kasumi faintly recalled Ukyou once telling her that the man who had abandoned her, her fiancé, had called her Ucchan. She also recalled her claiming that their fathers had set it up. Kasumi paled. Surely Genma wouldn't...
Oblivious to what was going on in Kasumi and Ukyou's heads, Ranko continued. "Is that you Ucchan?" Ukyou turned to look at Ranko, shock evident on her face, and Ranko continued. "I-I thought you were a guy..."
Ukyou stood, watching the redhead who had called her Ucchan. Only two people had ever called her that, and one of them was Akane.
The other had left her behind, crying, on the road.
Unless the Tendous were playing some sort of elaborate trick on her, Ukyou was engaged to a girl... who had thought that Ukyou was a boy. She had to be sure.
"Ranchan?" She couldn't believe that she might have engaged herself to a girl... She despaired as Ranma nodded, smiling nervously. "I thought that you were a boy..." She blinked as Ranma's expression turned sour.
"I am not a boy," she said matter-of-factly. She pointed at her chest. "I am a man." Ukyou's eyes went wide just before she burst out laughing.
"Ranchan," she managed eventually. "You are most decidedly not a man." Ranma opened her mouth to speak, but Ukyou beat her to the punch. "I mean, does any man have a pair of those?" She poked Ranma's chest, causing the redhead to blush. Ukyou laughed harder.
"Umm, Ukyou," Kasumi said. "Ranma isn't lying." Her serious tone snapped Ukyou out of her fit of laughter. Kasumi never used a tone like that unless she was totally serious. Ukyou's eyes once again widened at the implications of this.
"No way," she started. Ranma interrupted.
"Jusenkyou does things to ya', Ucchan," Ranma said sadly. "I take it ya' already know 'bout the place?" Ukyou nodded, unable to speak past a lump that was forming in her throat. She was engaged to one gender swapper, and in love with another. Ukyou suddenly found herself questioning her personal preferences.
Noticing that Ranma had stopped talking and was now looking down at her feet, Ukyou took a little initiative. "So ya' fell into the Spring of Drowned Girl?" Ranma barely nodded. "Great, now there're six of us." She sighed.
"Seven," Kasumi corrected her, causing Ukyou to look at her curiously. "You need to include Ranma's father." Ukyou sighed louder.
"Ya' know what," Ukyou said, frowning, and causing Ranma and Kasumi looked at her. "I need to get revenge for being left behind..." She trailed off as she pulled her battle spatula from her back. Calmly, menacingly, she started advancing on a wide-eyed Ranma.
Then she remembered what Kasumi had told her about Ranma. He was Akane's fiancé. Beating on him would only make her depressed, and Ukyou wouldn't be able to live with herself if she did that. Ukyou sliced her spatula into the ground with an outraged cry just short of her original target. "Damn!"
"Ukyou!" Kasumi slapped Ukyou, and Ukyou blushed. It was around five in the morning, and she had just cursed loud enough to wake the dead.
Ukyou turned to Ranma, an angry look plastered to her face. "I wonder how Akane will feel when she discovers that her fiancé has two of his own." Ranma looked at her confusedly as Kasumi gasped.
Two fiancées? What did Ukyou mean by that? "Um, Ucchan," Ranko asked. "What're ya' talkin' about?" She watched as Ukyou scowled.
"You mean to tell me that ya' don't even know?" Ukyou was really angry about something, and Ranko wished she knew what about. Ukyou's scowl deepened. "You're father promised my father that we would be married and that I would go with ya' if we gave ya' our okonomiyaki cart. And ya' took it!"
Ranko paled as the memories flooded her. Genma asking Ranma if he liked okonomiyaki or Ucchan more. Ucchan running towards Ranma as he waved goodbye. Ucchan tripping and crying as he and Genma left. Ditching the cart after eating all the food later that day. Ranko suddenly felt like a world-class heel... again.
Ranko looked down at her feet. Ranma had said that he liked okonomiyaki better than Ucchan. He hadn't gone to help Ucchan after she had tripped. Ranma had hurt Ucchan. Those were her thoughts just before something occured to her.
Genma hadn't told Ranma what had been going on. He had hid the fact that Ucchan was a girl. He had suggested that they leave. He had suggested taking the cart and leaving Ucchan. Genma had tricked Ranma into hurting his best friend.
Ukyou continued talking. "You're lucky that I promised Akane I'd never seriously hurt her." Ranko snapped her head back up and glared at Ukyou, who continued. "The way she's been acting about getting a boyfriend... If I were to beat ya' the way ya' deserve, then she would hate me…" Ukyou looked away before continuing quietly. "And I don't think I could stand losing my best friend again."
Ranko saw red. Her pops could hurt her all he wanted for training. But to hurt someone else like this simply to fill his belly... Ranko was forced to wonder if she was really related to the fat, bald, old man.
"C'mon, Ucchan." Ranko grabbed Ukyou's hand and pulled her towards the door. "You wanna get revenge, right? Then you'n'me're gonna pound some sense inta' my old man for another stupid promise." She opened the door and stepped out into the rain. But Ukyou stopped her from going any further.
"Ranchan, wait a sec..." Ranko pulled Ukyou out into the rain and nearly slapped herself. She dropped Ukyou's hand as it started shifting form upon coming into contact with the rain. Seven, Kasumi had said... Counting her family and the Tendou's, there was only six. Ranko silently cursed herself as she turned around to look at what Ukyou became, and she gawked.
Ukyou hadn't changed as much as Ranko had expected. A plume of sand colored feathers had sprouted from her forehead, and a pair of large wings covered in feathers of the same color now came out of her back. Her hands now looked like talons, but they still had their basic shape.
Kasumi stepped up behind Ukyou. "Ukyou fell into the Spring of Drowned Hawk, then tried to use the Spring of Drowned Girl to cure herself." Ranko pulled her mouth shut as she realized what that meant.
The curses mixed. The Spring of Drowned Man wouldn't put her back the way she was supposed to be. That was why the Guide had refused to show it to them.
Ranko watched Ukyou. She wasn't sure about the hawk-girl. How did she react to having people learn of her curse? Apparently, she didn't react well. Her wings were drooping, and she had her arms crossed in front of her in a way that barely hid her hands. She was looking off to the side and looked like she was about to cry. Ranko sighed.
"Ucchan," Ranko said, trying to catch Ukyou's attention. The other girl looked at her briefly before looking elsewhere. "What's wrong Ucchan?" Ukyou continued looking away. Ranko looked at Kasumi, who just shrugged sadly. What could Ranko do to snap Ukyou out of this weird mood her curse seemed to trigger? A dim light in Ranko's head lit up.
Mimicking the move Akane had used to throw her out of the bathroom earlier, Ranko pulled on one of Ukyou's wings. She then rushed behind the startled girl and shoved her towards the house. Looking over Ukyou's shoulder, Ranko saw Kasumi open the door from the inside. Only slightly confused, Ranko continued pushing Ukyou through the door.
She spun the startled Ukyou around and examined her closely. "Ya' know what, Ucchan," Ranko said as Ukyou just stared at her dumbly. "Those feathers on your forehead make ya' look pretty darn cute..." She noticed Kasumi approaching with a kettle and waved her off. She refocused her attention on a blushing Ukyou. "They make ya' look even cuter than when ya' didn't have 'em." Ukyou blushed even more.
Her blush suddenly vanished as a suspicious light entered her eyes. Almost instantly her wings came up, and her talon-like hands went to her hips. An angry look came to her face as she bore down on Ranko. Ranko took a half-step back and started making warding gestures. What had she done this time? She felt her throat go dry.
"What about Akane?" Ukyou had said that quietly, but with the way she was glaring at Ranko, she may as well have shouted. Ranko flinched. "Well, Ranchan, what's the deal? Are ya' going to play both me and Acchan? Or do you intend to marry both of us? Do you even intend to marry one of us? Huh? Well? Are ya' listening to me, Ranchan?"
Ranko made a mental note to try not to anger Ukyou again in her cursed form. Ranko wasn't used to being shoved around by the winds her wings created as she used them to bap Ranko on the head. And Ukyou had stressed every question with a bap on the head. Rubbing her bottom, Ranko got up from where the last bap had knocked her to the ground.
"I don't know!" She managed to keep herself from shouting. She wasn't used to being hit after calling someone cute. "All I know is that this is the second engagement I've learned 'bout that Pops made without tellin' me. I'm gonna go drag him outta bed. If ya' wanna get revenge, then this is a pretty good chance to get it." 'And regain an old friend,' Ranko silently added. Ranko retrieved the kettle from Kasumi and dumped part of its contents on herself.
Ranma turned and looked at a wide-eyed Ukyou. "Here ya' go, Ucchan." He tossed her the kettle and left up the stairs. He wondered how he would get his father out of the guestroom without waking the entire house.
Ukyou sighed as Ranma left the room. She had thought that he'd be a pretty-boy after seeing that he was such a pretty girl. But he had proved himself to be a handsome man after changing back, just like Kaneda...
Ukyou cut that thought off sharply. Kaneda and Akane were one and the same. And while Akane had once told Ukyou that she might be okay with dating girls, she had also said that she wasn't interested in them either. Ukyou couldn't deny it, though.
If anyone were to ever ask, she would admit that she had a crush on her aquatransgendered friend. She couldn't help it that her heart screamed for Akane whenever she drew near. It just happened.
And now there was Ranma. She knew she was already falling for him, hard. He was cute in either form and he had said she was cute... in her cursed form! Ukyou looked down at the kettle in her talons and sighed again.
Ukyou blushed as a thought came to her. Both herself and Akane were engaged to Ranma. And she wasn't against marrying both. Was that even legal?
She derailed that train of thought, mentally taking a battle spatula to her own head. She found that doing such usually kept her mind off the subject, for a while anyway.
"Are you hot, Ukyou?" Ukyou blanched. She'd forgotten that Kasumi was there. And Kasumi had called Ukyou's attention to the blush on her face. And that had brought her back to the thoughts she had just squelched.
"N-no, Kasumi, I'm fine." Ukyou took another mental spatula to her own head and willed the blush away.
"Are you sure, Ukyou?" Ukyou looked at the serene martial artist, wondering how Kasumi managed to seem so content all the time. She decided to put it down as a part of the Housekeeping style as Kasumi continued. "You seem to be upset. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?" Ukyou shook her head as she heard something big coming down the stairs.
She looked over to the stairs and quickly questioned what she saw. Why was a panda living in this house? And since when do pandas sweat?
Akane woke quickly. Something big had just passed her door, and it didn't sound like a gorilla. She pulled herself out of bed and moved to the door. Opening it a crack, she saw a nervous panda slowly retreating towards the stairs.
The panda held up a sign. What did I do this time? Akane opened her door a little more so she could see the sign more clearly and heard the whispered reply.
"Do ya' remember Ucchan, Pops?" Akane's eyes widened as several things slipped into place like pieces to a puzzle. Mr. Saotome started sweating bullets. "Well, guess who I found in the dojo with Kasumi."
Uh oh! Akane opened the door a little more. She had to be sure. If Ranma was Ukyou's mysterious fiancé, then she would never let him hear the end of it. If she even let him stay around, that is. She saw Mr. Saotome raise another sign. What do you know, boy!
"Enough to wonder how ya' manage to live with yourself." Ranma's voice started rising, and the anger and disgust in it was becoming apparent to Akane. "First, ya' promised Mr. Tendou that I would marry one of his daughters. Then, ya' went behind his back and promised me to Ucchan." His voice was cold steel.
Akane decided that she had heard enough. She opened her door and gave Mr. Saotome the coldest glare she could muster. Then she turned to Ranma, who was trembling as he glared at his father, a cold glint in his eyes. Akane glared at Ranma until he noticed her. He calmed down somewhat, but she could still see the anger in his eyes.
"What's this about Ucchan?" Akane wanted to be totally sure about what was happening. And she sure wouldn't find out by pounding anyone to a pulp.
Besides, that privilege belonged to somebody else at this time.
"Pops here made another stupid promise," Ranma said quietly as he once again glared at Mr. Saotome. "He promised Ucchan that I would marry her in exchange for her father's okonomiyaki cart. He never told me what was going on. Hell, I didn't even know Ucchan was a girl." He looked down, blushing slightly.
Akane understood that. When her family had found Ukyou on the way to China, she had been dressed in an okonomiyaki seller's outfit, and it had made her look like a boy. Ukyou had just sworn vengeance to her fiancé and the guy's father. Akane wondered if Ukyou had attempted to get her revenge on Ranma. He was out of their league.
Akane shook her head to clear it and glared at Mr. Saotome again. "You call yourself a man?"
NO! He flipped the sign as Akane watched with a blank expression. Right now, I'm a panda. Akane mustered an even colder glare than when she had first come out.
"You better go down there and face Ucchan. Otherwise..." Akane pointed at her father's room. "I won't protect you the next time my dad goes ape. And trust me, he will go ape over this."
Mr. Saotome's eyes went wide before he mechanically turned around and headed for the stairs. Akane nearly jumped out of her skin when Ranma softly whispered in her ear.
"Ya' weren't serious, right?" Akane whipped around as she jumped away from Ranma. His inquisitive look calmed her slightly. She took a long, deep breath to try to ease her suddenly tense body.
"Don't do that to me." She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. She wasn't used to having people sneak up on her like that, and she definitely wasn't used to having anybody get that close to her without her knowing it. "I don't know if I'd really do that or not, but your dad must be pretty good if he trained you all by himself." She opened her eyes and looked up at him.
His eyes were focused on a point just over her head. He also wore a blank expression, but was blushing slightly none the less. Akane's brow furrowed. "Is something wrong, Ranma?" He looked down momentarily, his blush deepening. He then focused on another point slightly higher than the last.
Akane's eyebrow twitched. Ranma's gaze hadn't stopped at her face, but had focused on a point further down. Or, rather, two points further down. Akane blushed as she realized how her tension had manifested itself. And that her pajamas didn't do a good job of hiding that sort of thing alone.
Smack! She slammed her door behind her and quickly changed into her masculine running clothes, having noticed that it was raining outside. She stuck her hand out into the rain in preparation.
Kaneda left his room making a few adjustments to his clothing and found Ranma staring off into space. Arching an eyebrow, he waved his hand in front of the other boy. When Ranma didn't respond, Kaneda got a pail of water from the bathroom and splashed Ranma.
Ranko blink-blinked. "Uhh, Kaneda?" The redhead spoke uncertainly as she slowly focused in on Kaneda, who now held the bucket behind his back. "What just happened?" She was still pretty out of it.
"I slapped you for looking at me." Kaneda turned around and headed for the stairs, softly setting the bucket down. He heard Ranko come up behind him. "And for scaring me the way you did."
"Sorry." Ranko chuckled. "I didn't know you'd react like that." Kaneda frowned. He couldn't blame Ranko, but he still didn't like it.
He sighed as he and Ranko came down the stairs to a peculiar sight.
Genma, A.K.A. Mr. Panda, feared for his life. It wasn't that he hadn't expected something bad to happen with all his dealings. But this was far worse than even the worst-case scenario he had come up with all those years ago.
Fifteen years ago, after sealing the master away, he and Soun had made a deal to see the two schools united through marriage. Three months later, Genma had taken the barely walking Ranma on a fifteen-year-long training trip with the understanding that Ranma would become a man amongst men. And then, ten years ago, Genma had promised Ranma to Ukyou for food.
Now it seemed that Genma's mistakes were catching up to him. Soun's family was possessed by demons. Ranma was part-girl and back in Nerima, where the possibility of both of them losing their lives over his curse existed. And the winged and taloned girl that Mr. Panda now stood before carried the Kounji family weapons.
"Since when do ya' all have a panda?" Mr. Panda winced. That Kasumi-demon would surely give him away to the girl, most presumably a similarly possessed Ukyou.
"Since Ranma showed up." Mr. Panda's jaw dropped. "Mr. Panda came with Ranko." He pried his mouth shut as Ukyou looked at him appraisingly.
"Hmmm... Maybe I could take it as repayment for the 'yaki cart after me and Ranchan beat on that two-timing Genma. I could use an aid at my restaurant." Mr. Panda's eyes went wide. They let a monster like her run a restaurant? Had the whole town gone to the demons?
He reaffirmed his promise not to fall to the demons as he held up a sign. I am not a labor animal! He backed towards the stairs as Ukyou looked at him quizzically, and he flipped the sign. I'm a circus animal! He backed into something.
Mr. Panda spun around to find himself face to face (make that muzzle to chest) with a very angry boy with bluish-black hair. 'Who is this boy?'
"I thought I told you to face Ucchan like a man, Mr. Saotome." The boy's eyes flicked up to the sign that Mr. Panda still held, and a look of rage passed over his face. "You better not call yourself a man if you run from this."
Ranma (Mr. Panda refused to think of his son as Ranko despite taking up his own separate identity) stepped out from behind the boy. "Ya' ain't gonna try to get out of your just desserts again, are ya' Pops?" Her voice contained steel.
Mr. Panda held up a sign with identical writing on both sides of it. My son has betrayed me! Another sign. Woe is me! The boy in front of Mr. Panda knocked him on the head with the first sign. And who is this boy?
"That's Akane, Pops!" Ranma yelled at Mr. Panda before continuing in a more controlled voice. "That's her cursed form. They've been to Jusenkyou, same as us." The boy... Akane... broke in.
"I prefer to be called Kaneda when I'm like this." Mr. Panda looked the boy... Akane... Kaneda... up and down. He then held up another sign with writing on both sides.
My son is engaged to a man! He quickly regretted that sign.
Pow! Clank! Ka-pow! Crack!
Ranma's fist knocked him off balance, his panda-head turning with the blow. A giant spatula had come from that direction, flattening his face while putting him back where he had started. Then an enormous, glowing mallet had made him one with the floor. He only heard the whip crack over his head. He jumped up and looked around.
"Do I look like your son right now, Pops?" Ranma's anger was temporarily forgotten as she continued. "I have a girl's body now. I could change back into a man, but this body is always just a splash away. I can't even see Mom 'cause of it..." Her anger returned two-fold. Mr. Panda could tell by the battle aura that surrounded her. The others responded to this by showing off their own battle auras. Mr. Panda did not feel safe in this room anymore.
"What's the big idea calling Akane a man?" The winged and taloned Ukyou seemed about ready to rip Mr. Panda's head off.
"That wasn't very nice, Mr. Saotome." Kasumi was holding a long sash, which Mr. Panda realized to be her whip. "Especially considering that you still consider Ranma to be a man when he is in his cursed form."
"And just how do you explain what you did to Ukyou!" The boy who was Akane... Kaneda... asked angrily. He took the sign that Mr. Panda had been holding and beaned him over the head with it. "And I'm a woman, not a man."
"That's debatable, sugar," Ukyou said to the suddenly blushing boy. Mr. Panda tried to take advantage of the momentary distraction to slip off, but he found his path blocked by a gorilla.
The gorilla raised its arms, which had a pair of odd-looking gloves on them. It started making swift motions and a voice came out of the gloves. "Saotome, old friend, you aren't leaving so soon are you?" The gorilla glared at the panda in a way only a gorilla could. Mr. Panda suddenly felt safer with the hostile, battle ready martial artists behind him.
Tendou? The gorilla nodded. It seemed to concentrate for a moment before trying to speak with its mouth.
"Oo, ooo... Choo... Juoos... Jushing..." The panda shivered as the man-turned-ape tried to speak in plain words. Surely he didn't mean...
"Chosengyo... Jusenkyou." A look of triumph passed over the gorilla's face. The panda felt all the blood drain from his face. Ukyou spoke up behind him.
"Wow, Mr. Tendou, you've been practicing." Mr. Panda didn't register this remark, as he had fainted from shock... while still standing.
Ranko walked up behind her panda of a father. He'd gone stiff when Mr. Tendou had spoken. She didn't really blame him. Those weird gloves were bad enough, but to have him actually talk... That was just too weird.
"Sootamoo." Ranko moved around in front of the panda as the gorilla tried to continue talking with his hands. "Saotome, are you alright?" Ranko waved her hand in front of Mr. Panda's face, and then knocked on his head. She blinked at the hollow sound that came from his slack mouth.
"I always thought Pops was a pea brain..." She grinned evilly. "But I never thought it was actually true!" Several people hit the floor as Ranko looked at Mr. Panda's face. It didn't even twitch. "Pops is out like a light."
"Ya' mean to tell me that he fainted because King Kong talked!" Ranko looked around her father to see an angry Ukyou, still in cursed form, pulling herself up from the ground.
"King Kong? Ya' mean him?" She pointed over her shoulder at the gorilla.
"Yes," Kaneda said as he picked himself up. "King Kong is Dad's nickname for when he is in his cursed form. Kind of like how I'm Kaneda and you're Ranko."
"Oh." That was good to know. Ranko would hate to accidentally reveal the Tendou family's secret. If it was a secret, anyway.
"Ranko." She nearly jumped out of her skin when Soun... King Kong... turned out to be right behind her. "I wanted to have Genma tell you this, but, since he isn't able, I will."
"What is it, King Kong?" Ranko grinned. It was funny calling Mr. Tendou that.
"It has been decided that you will be going to school with Nabiki and Akane..."
"What am I? Chopped liver?" Ukyou broke in. Ranko decided to throw her own two cents in.
"Who said I wanna go to school?"
A mallet came down on her head. "You are going to school, Ranko. No fiancée of mine is going to be an uneducated idiot. A plain idiot, maybe, but not an uneducated one." Ranko shoved the mallet off her head and turned to glare at Kaneda as Ukyou spoke up again.
"Kanchan's right, Ranchan." Ranko attempted to give Ukyou the evil eye while still glaring at Kaneda and failed miserably. "His reputation rides on you now, since you're engaged. So ya' best shape up or ship out." Kaneda raised an eyebrow and Ukyou blushed. Ranko got the feeling she was missing something.
"Nabiki has already done the paperwork for you, Ranko." King Kong surprised her yet again with his proximity. "You have been enrolled under the same conditions as Akane and Ukyou have." Ranko eyed him cautiously, waiting for him to finish. It quickly became apparent that he wasn't going to.
"Well?" Ranko glared at him.
"Well, what?" The change must have made Mr. Tendou stupider.
"What conditions have I been enrolled under?"
"Ask Kaneda." King Kong picked up the statue-like Mr. Panda and left. Ranko blink-blinked, then looked at Kaneda.
"Well?"
Kaneda sighed. "It's likely that your family records as well as the legal records have been changed to show your new... ahh... status..."
"Which means, Saotome, that you owe me a few favors." Nabiki's voice came from the stairs. Everybody looked over to see a severely bedraggled Nabiki glaring at Ranko. She was wearing pajamas covered in yen signs and did not look happy to be up. Grimaces went around the room as Nabiki continued. "The changes haven't gotten through yet, that won't happen until sometime tomorrow."
She started towards Ranko, making Ranko feel very uncomfortable. "But, you have already been set up with these conditions for school: One, you don't have to wear a uniform unless for some odd reason you become incapable of changing forms. Two, you are eligible to use the secondary changing rooms instead of the regular ones. Three, you can use any bathroom you want in the school. Four, you get to use the school lot for any of your challenges. The downside is that you are expected to follow the honor codes to the point as well as help the various clubs and organizations whenever they ask for help.
"Normally, I mince words a lot so that they can be turned to my advantage, but you're lucky that your shouting down here woke me up. I just gave it all to you straight, and for free, too. So you better give me quite a few worthwhile favors, Saotome." Nabiki turned and left back for the stairs. "Now, if you all could please keep your talk to tolerable levels, I'm going back to bed." She disappeared up the stairs, leaving everyone speechless.
"Hey, uh, Kaneda," Ukyou finally spoke. "That is the most activity I've ever seen your sister put in before leaving for school." Ranko absorbed this fact.
"I don't think I've ever seen her up this early," Kaneda responded. "Not even that one time that we both had that freakish cold. You know, the one that made us stay up for three days straight, sneezing every five minutes." Ranko failed to absorb the latter half of what Kaneda had just said, being too occupied trying to figure out if she ever didn't follow her code of honor to the point.
"Oh, Ranko, this just isn't proper." Ranko jumped as Kasumi popped up behind her. 'Wait, wasn't Kasumi over there...' Ranko looked to see Kasumi was indeed over there. She grimaced as she realized that she hadn't been paying enough attention to her surroundings. She looked at the Kasumi behind her.
"Uhh, what isn't proper, Kasumi?" Ranko looked herself over quickly, not finding anything wrong with the way she was dressed. She looked back up at Kasumi.
"You can't go using the boys' bathroom when you're a girl, Ranko." Kasumi spoke in a matter of fact voice that made Ranko shiver uncomfortably. "And you can't use the girls' room when you're a boy." Ranko blink-blinked. She couldn't be serious... "So you will not be allowed to change forms in the bathrooms." Ranko face faulted. She'd planned not to change forms at all!
"Hey, Ranko, are you okay with all this?" Ranko jumped as she realized that, once again, she'd neglected her surroundings. Kaneda had snuck up on her. She spun around to face him to find that Ukyou was standing right beside her. She jumped again. Suddenly feeling pressed in on, Ranko dashed to the door of the room with the kettle Ukyou had still been holding moments before.
"I'm gonna go work out in the dojo..." Ranko dumped the kettle over her head, and Ranma left through the door he was standing in, grabbing an umbrella from the rack next to it as he went. He missed the looks that Kaneda, Ukyou, and Kasumi passed each other as he left.
"Wonder what's bugging him?" Ukyou gave voice to the question that was on everyone's minds.
Kaneda turned away from the door Ranma had left through. "I'm not sure, Ucchan." A thoughtful expression passed over his face. "It might have something to do with why he was so jumpy, though."
"Oh, dear," Kasumi said as she handed another kettle to Kaneda. "I think it might be that he doesn't like being snuck up on." Ukyou blink-blinked, realizing that was probably the truth. Few martial artists, heck, few people, liked being caught by surprise. Kaneda tipped the kettle over his head.
"I'm going to go find out what's bothering him," Akane said matter-of-factly, handing the kettle to a blushing Ukyou. "What?"
Ukyou shook her head and looked Akane in the eyes. "Your clothes..." She gestured downwards, causing Akane to look down. She eeped and quickly tried to grab her shirt closed. This was a familiar sight to Ukyou. Some of Akane's clothes were sized to fit Kaneda. And while the elastic bands in all of her pants allowed all her pants to fit her in either form, the shirts sized for Kaneda often lacked in feminine modesty.
Especially the running clothes. They consisted of a Kaneda-size muscle shirt and shorts. Again, the shorts were fine, but the shirt... The muscle shirts that barely fit Kaneda left Akane with a draping cover that showed off quite a bit of her cleavage. Too much to allow Ukyou to be comfortable. Sometimes, like now, they showed more than just cleavage.
Akane suddenly disappeared up the stairs, her face beet red. Ukyou stifled a giggle. 'You would think that it wouldn't embarrass her by now...' Ukyou had seen her change enough times dressed like that to know that it happened at least once a week.
Ukyou dumped the remainder of the kettle's contents over her head and stifled a cry as her talons shrank back into hands and feet, as her wings pulled into her back, as her bones became solid, and as her crest pulled back into her forehead. Ukyou sighed as she noticed that Kasumi had left. Only Kasumi knew that Ukyou's curse caused her actual pain as she changed. It was one of her closest secrets, and there were times when she could use someone to talk about it.
Akane reappeared, dressed in the same shorts, but with a custom t-shirt that would stretch into a muscle shirt for Kaneda. Ukyou recognized it. Ukyou had gotten it for Akane when she had complained about her cursed form busting all her clothes a year or so earlier. Akane had come up with several means of preventing that from happening by the time Ukyou actually got the shirt to her, but Akane still wore it enough to make Ukyou glad she had ordered it.
"Okay, now I'm going to go see what's bothering Ranma." She grabbed the last umbrella in the rack, but stopped when Ukyou put a hand on her shoulder.
"You mind if I come with?" She grinned mischievously. "Or are you looking to spend some quality time with your fiancée?" Ukyou watched Akane blush as the multiple meanings of the question went through her mind.
"No!" Akane stopped herself, blushing even more. Ukyou raised an eyebrow. "I mean, it's not like that. You can come if you want to. He's your fiancée too, after all..." Ukyou blink-blinked. "And its not like I'd just fall for a guy simply because he has the opposite curse to my own."
"So you don't mind sharing your fiancée? You just want to get to know him?" Ukyou cursed herself as Akane gave her an odd look at the first question. They stepped out towards the dojo under the umbrella.
"Well, to answer your first question, I kind of have to take what I can get. Not many guys are interested in me because of my curse, and I don't even want to think about Kunou. He already has a girl who likes him." She paused, and Ukyou waited for her to answer the other question. "And yes, I do want to get to know him if I'm going to marry him." She scowled slightly. "He picked me because of a promise that didn't even really apply."
They reached the door to the dojo, but Ukyou stopped Akane from opening it. "Let me guess... Ranchan showed up as a girl and you made her promise to pick you because of your curse." Akane nodded. "Well, don't get yourself all worked up over it. I'm sure he'll grow to like ya', even if he doesn't now." Ukyou smiled wryly. "You're a hard person not to like."
"Thanks, Ucchan."
"Anytime, Acchan." Ukyou smiled at her friend and opened the door. She quickly spotted Ranma doing katas in the middle of the practice area. Complex katas. very complex katas.
Temporarily mesmerized by the fluidity of Ranma's motions, Ukyou didn't move out of the doorway until Akane poked her on the back. This caused Ukyou to leap forward with a small cry.
"Aaaahhhhh!" Akane always managed to find that one spot that made Ukyou jump. Ranma jumped, too, though he jumped out of surprise.
"Gah! How is it everybody 'round here keeps surprisin' me!" He came down from his perch in the top corner on the other side of the room, landing softly in front of Ukyou and Akane. "So... You wanna talk to me 'bout somethin'?" He started scratching the back of his neck.
"You have two fiancés, Ranma." Akane said after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. Ukyou blink-blinked. Hadn't they come out here to find out what was bothering him? "What do you intend to do about that?" Ranma's face flushed red and he looked down at his feet.
"I-I don't know," he managed after a few moments. Ukyou noticed that he seemed to be having trouble speaking. She decided to lighten the mood.
"Well, I know what Nabiki would suggest..." Ukyou spoke in a way that she knew made people curious. Akane and Ranma both looked at her with eyebrows raised. She smiled at them as she spoke. "She would have Kanchan marry girl-type Ranchan and boy-type Ranchan marry me." Akane just stared at her and Ranma grimaced, causing her smile to fall.
"Mom would kill me..." Ranma said sadly. Akane looked at him.
"Wouldn't she kill you anyway for being a girl part of the time?" Ukyou blink-blinked. They were talking way too seriously about this.
"You guys can't be serious. It was a joke, ya' know... Ha ha ha... funny..." Ukyou tried to lighten the mood again by making exaggerated motions with her arms. She gave up quickly as the two just looked at her. "Look, it's not like your mother will really kill you..." Ranma grimaced, causing Ukyou to trail off.
"Pops promised my mom that he would make me a 'man amongst men' or the both of us would commit seppuku to reclaim our honor." Ukyou felt the blood drain from her face. She wouldn't seriously hold them to that promise, would she?
"Well, now I know what ya' meant when you said you can't see your mother." Ukyou sighed. Mrs. Saotome would have to be one tough woman to be able to handle having her son commit seppuku at her own deciding hands. Ukyou didn't think she'd be able to do it...
Ukyou blink-blinked as something clicked. "Just a question, Ranchan, but do you know what your mother's name is?" Ranma looked at her oddly.
"Ummm, Pops said her name was Nodoka. Why?" Ukyou paled as it hit her. There was just no way. One of her biggest customers was...
Ukyou snapped down on her train of thought. She couldn't tell him about this until she was completely sure. "Oh, no reason at all..." Ukyou plastered a horrible grin on her face, not expecting Ranma to be fooled by it. She noticed understanding dawn over Akane's face as Ranma looked at her.
He shrugged. "Okay." Ukyou nearly blurted out her realization then and there at Ranma's shear idiocy. Was he that bad at reading people, or was he just that gullible? Her guilt forced part of it past her before she could stop herself. "One of my regulars is called Saotome Nodoka..." Ukyou clamped her hands over her mouth to prevent herself from going any further. Ranma froze as Akane hissed.
Ranma thawed quickly. "I'm really gonna have'ta increase my awareness, then." Ranma looked at the floor dejectedly. "I hate meditation."
"Huh?" Akane asked cleverly. "What are you talking about, Ranma?" She clarified her question.
"Well... my awareness... of what's going on around me... ya' know?" He made several sweeping gestures. "So nobody can sneak up on me... Catch me off my guard..."
"Oh, you mean your battle sense?" Ukyou asked.
"Kinda', but I'm talking more a sense of what's goin' on around me in general." He shook his head. "A battle sense only helps ya' if someone wants to hurt ya'." He sighed. "It takes sparring to build a battle sense, but it takes meditation and practice to build an awareness. I was gonna do some anyway 'cause everyone here keeps jumpin' me." Ukyou looked at him blankly. She noticed that Akane had an understanding look on her face and decided to ask her about it later.
"Well, that answers one question. Now, back to the question we came here for." Ranma raised an eyebrow at Ukyou. "What are you going to do about this fiancée situation?" Ranma grimaced again.
"Well, I can't really dump either of ya'..." Ukyou glared at him at the same time as Akane, causing Ranma to take a step back and start making warding gestures. "I'm honor-bound to marry both of ya'... I can't help it that Pops sold me off for food!" He started getting indignant, so Ukyou stopped glaring and sighed.
"You're right," she said looking at the ground. Then she realized something. She looked back up at him angrily. "Just like I'm honor-bound to get revenge for being left behind." He looked at her as Akane decided to speak up again.
"You can try, Ucchan." Ukyou looked at her. Had she gone crazy? He was her fiancée! Then Akane continued. "I doubt you'd succeed in getting your revenge from Ranma, though. He's out of our league." Akane smiled wryly at Ukyou. Ukyou understood that smile. Akane had helped Ukyou train for her revenge, and the two were pretty much even, except when Ukyou took advantage of her cursed form. But Ukyou wasn't as skilled with her cursed form, even though the boost in speed and the ability to fly usually gave her the upper hand. If Akane said Ranma was out of their league, then she would believe it.
"So..." Ranma said cautiously. "Are ya' gonna try to get revenge?" Ukyou looked at him, finding a neutral expression. "'Cause that would solve this fiancée problem really quick if ya' ask me." Ukyou caught Akane looking hard at him.
"What do you mean by that?" Akane's hard look turned into a full out glare as she pulled out her mallet. Ukyou shivered. That thing should be outlawed. Ranma twitched upon seeing the mallet.
"Ummm... Uhh..." Ranma started scratching the back of his head. "Nothin', nothin' at all." He waved her off. "It's just that, well, the way I see it, just trying to get revenge would satisfy Ucchan's honor, 'cause there's no way she'd actually succeed if she's just even with you." He breathed a sigh of relief as Akane calmed down. Ukyou raised an eyebrow. He had managed to calm Akane down from pre-mallet stage fairly quickly. No other martial artist had done that, Kasumi excluded.
"So what are ya' going to do about it already, Ranchan?" Ukyou decided that he needed a push. "Are ya' gonna put off doing something or are ya' just gonna make the choice!" Ranma looked around guiltily, and Ukyou blink-blinked. He was seriously trying to put it off. How much of a social life had he had?
"I think that I'll... I'll..." He started scanning the room and Ukyou narrowed her eyes. Was he looking for an escape route? "Aw, hell." He took on the look of a man walking to his doom. "Can't we wait 'til I get ta' know the two of ya' before makin' this choice?" He looked between Akane and Ukyou several times, a pleading expression on his face.
Ranma wanted to put off choosing his fiancée. He wanted to get to know both of them. He wanted to wait.
Akane sighed. She wanted to wait too. She couldn't openly admit it, but she liked Ranma. Maybe even love. But she didn't want to push forward unless she was absolutely sure. She was pretty sure that Ukyou liked him, too. If the conversation they had on the way from the house was any indication. She sighed again.
"Look, Ranma," Akane said slowly. "You will remain engaged to the both of us until either one of us or you yourself decide to break that engagement." She paused and glanced at Ukyou, who had surprise written all over her face. Akane smiled wryly and closed her eyes. "Furthermore, you will date each of us one night a week. If you fail to show up for a date, then it will be assumed that you have decided for the other fiancée. Unless you get sick or are otherwise unable to go on the date."
Akane opened her eyes and looked at Ranma, and she instantly lost her wry smile. Ranma was a ghostly white. She looked at Ukyou, who seemed as puzzled as Akane felt. Ukyou noticed her and shrugged.
"He got like this when ya' said 'date.'" Ukyou looked at Ranma again as Akane tried to figure out how that could frighten Ranma. "I hope you didn't scare him to death with that idea." Akane blink-blinked.
"What do you mean?" Ukyou looked at her strangely.
"Oh, ya' don't know?" Akane shook her head. "Some men freeze up at the thought of even one date. I've heard that suggestions for many can drive them nuts. And it looks like Ranma is one of those boys." Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "Well, he isn't dead, that's for sure." Akane laughed humorlessly.
Some color returned to Ranma's face. "Ummm... tell me your not serious." Akane's brow twitched. If this was how he reacted to the idea of a couple of dates, how would he respond to the idea of actually getting married? Akane sighed.
"Fine, one date every two weeks." She looked at him. He wasn't moving. "Ranma?"
"Uhh... Sure... One date… every two weeks... for each fiancée... I hope I don't have anymore than just the two of ya'." Ranma sighed. Akane's eyebrow twitched again. "Pops would do almost anythin' for food while we were travelin'."
"Ya' mean to tell us that you might have another fiancée?" Ukyou seemed incredulous. Akane had her mallet out again. There was no way that she would accept it if he had yet another fiancée. Ranma was looking between the two of them with fear written all over his face. He shook his head.
"Uh uh... If it turns out that I do, then I'll... I'll... I'llturnthemdownthenandthere!" Akane blink-blinked. What did he finish that off with? Akane looked at Ukyou, who wore a perplexed expression on her face. Ranma went back to the center of the dojo and started doing his katas again. He went too fast for Akane to track his movements with any accuracy.
Akane sighed. "C'mon Ucchan, I don't think we're going to be able to talk with Ranma anymore for now." Ukyou nodded dumbly and the two of them headed for the door. They grabbed the umbrella and left Ranma to finish his workout routine.
Ranma stopped his katas as he noticed Akane and Ukyou leave. He kneeled down in the center of the dojo and started focusing the way some monks had once shown him. He focused in on himself, feeling his aura ripple as he quickly inspected it from within. Satisfied with what he found, Ranma pushed his aura outward without giving its visible form off. He focused harder as he pushed it outward, managing to push it beyond the bounds of the room he sat in.
Finding himself at his peak focus, Ranma let his thoughts drift. He now had two fiancées.
Akane was a good match for him in several ways. She was a practitioner of Anything Goes Martial Arts. She was a great fighter, better than most Ranma had met, though he wouldn't say it to her so that she wouldn't slack off on the training she did. Akane had the more valid claim to marry him since the promise to Mr. Tendou came before the one to Mr. Kounji. She also had the opposite curse to Ranma's own curse. He wondered idly if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but decided that could wait for another time.
Ukyou didn't seem to be such a good match for Ranma. He had yet to see her fight, but he remembered that she hadn't been half-bad. And Akane had said 'our league,' so they were probably about even. Ukyou's claim wasn't as valid, having been made after the one to Akane's father, but the fact that the dowry had already been accepted complicated that. Then there was her curse. She turned into a hawk-girl. It was an unusual change, even for Jusenkyou apparently; the Guide made an open attempt to keep cursees away from the other pools. Ranma wondered how it affected her fighting, but not knowing how she fought, he was unable to think of anything more than the advantage that flight would give.
But what really gave Ranma a problem with Ukyou was his view of her. She was his best friend. One of the only friends that Ranma had ever made. The fact that he recognized her after all these years, even though he had originally thought her to be a boy, was testament to that. Genma had always kept them on the move, so making friends had always been hard for Ranma.
Genma was the source of almost every one of Ranma's problems. His mother... This fiancée mess... The Nekoken...
Ranma snapped down on that thought. He was far too stressed to even think about that. Simply thinking about it gave him the willies sometimes, and going into... that... over a mere thought would be an embarrassment that he would never live down.
Ranma realized that he'd slipped out of focus, and brought himself back to his peak, pushing his unseen aura back to its limits. This time, however, he pushed to focus on everything that happened within his aura as well. He remained there until Kasumi made a loud call for breakfast. Not bothering to acknowledge the others whenever they checked up on him. He did, however, note who and how often.
In the end, only Genma hadn't checked on him, whereas Akane and Ukyou checked on him close to twenty times each. When Kasumi did call for breakfast, Ranma wondered if he'd be able to even handle an actual date.
Author's Notes:
Okay, probable question time. Does it ever stop raining in this universe? Who taught Kasumi the Housekeeping style? Is this Nodoka the same woman who carried Ranma (Remember, in this story, she only had Ranma for one year.)? Is Ukyou gay? Since when does Ranma meditate?
And the answers, in order of asking: Yes, it does stop raining. You'll find out about the Housekeeping style in later chapters. I can't tell you because that would ruin the story. You decide that for yourself. And they never show Ranma's activities when Genma fails to get up.
Oh, sorry about the huge delay, but after spending over an hour translating the last one into HTML coding, I was kind of wary of doing it again for this one. That shouldn't happen again.
One last thing... (And you guys have every right to flame me for this one...) But I do actually have this written out to mid-way through chapter four. Unfortunately, I've been stalled there for over a year.
As redress for my errors, expect this next installment sometime this weekend.
Oh, and a quick kudos to those who've given me a kick in the ass to put sort work this thing. You know who you are.
Flame me, I deserve it,
SkyDragon2083
Finished May 7, 2004
Revised June 14, 2005
Re-revised April 18, 2006
Released July 5, 2006
