Life's Twists
Disclaimer: Characters, plots, places, and techniques are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. As such, they are the property of her, as well as Viz and whatever company released Ranma 1/2 in Japan. I make no money off of this, so please don't sue me.
Chapter 3 - School and a Kendoist
"Ranma! Breakfast!"
Ranma jumped up from the spot where he'd been meditating and dashed out of the dojo. He grimaced as he thought about the talk he, Ukyou, and Akane had had, and wondered if he would even be able to handle a date.
He brushed that thought aside as he sat next to Genma in the dining room. He noticed that Genma was glaring constantly at everyone but him and grimaced again. His father could be persistent at times, but this was getting out of hand.
Akane sat down next to him, opposite of Genma, and glanced at Genma, who's only response was to glare doubly hard at her for a few moments. Ranma calmly kicked his father in the face. He suddenly found himself flying out the door he'd forgotten to close when he came in. He splashed down in the pond.
"Hey, wha'd'ya do that, Pops?" Ranko shouted at her glaring father.
"Never disrespect your father like that, Ranma."
"I'll show ya' some respect when ya' give me a reason to!"
"I trained you!"
"Ya' want the list of mistakes ya' made with that!" Genma opened his mouth to make a retort, but Ranko noticed Ukyou's spatula coming around in an arc towards Genma. Genma noticed just a moment too late. "So, Pops, how do ya' like gettin' thrown into the pond?"
Mr. Panda just growled as he plodded back towards the house. Ranko looked at him oddly and headed in herself after a few moments. Ukyou and Akane were both glaring at Mr. Panda as Ranko sat down. She glanced at him as she started eating, noticing that he was watching her closely... too closely. Ranko glared.
"They didn't poison the food, Pops." Ukyou, Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi all turned death glares on Genma as King Kong froze. A second Kasumi came in, glaring with equal ferocity as her twin, and gave Ranko the kettle she held. Ranko dumped it over her head, not bothering to save any for Mr. Panda, who looked like he might shrivel up at any moment.
Mr. Panda slowly picked up a pair of chopsticks and fiddled with the food on his plate. Ranma watched as he slowly picked up a little rice and put it in his mouth. He chewed slowly, thoroughly annoying Ranma with his unusual behavior. Ranma clapped him on the back, forcing him to swallow by reflex.
"Just eat it, Pops," he growled. Everyone relaxed as Genma started eating faster, glancing at Ukyou occasionally. Ranma started eating at an equal speed, and soon found his plate was missing food. He glanced at his father's plate, which, if anything, had gained food. Ranma started sparring with Mr. Panda over the food.
He was totally oblivious to the looks that this generated from the rest of the household.
He did, however, notice when Akane joined in on his right. He smiled. "So, Akane?" She looked at him as she took some food from both his and Mr. Panda's plates, throwing Ranma slightly out of focus. He regained it quickly and retreived the food he'd lost and more from both Mr. Panda and Akane's plates. "When do we gotta go to school?"
"In about five minutes." She smiled evilly as Ranma blanched.
"Five minustes!" Ranma's distraction allowed all of his food to be taken.
"Of course not, baka." Her smile kept Ranma from taking offense at her remark. Cute didn't describe it. "We have about fifteen minutes from the time Nabiki leaves." Ranma retreived all his food, quickly shoving down what he got from Mr. Panda.
"Which reminds me," Nabiki said as she got up. "Time for me to go." She disappeared out the door as Akane took half of Ranma's remaining food and ate the other half. Ranma made up for this by taking what she'd taken back and eating it all. Ranma noticed Mr. Panda reaching for the remains of Nabiki's plate and quickly lashed out. He knocked the chopsticks out of his father's paws, and grabbed all the food off Nabiki's plate. He also gobbled down half his father's food as Mr. Panda fumbled with his chopsticks. This all happened in the first second after Nabiki left.
He went to finish off what he'd taken from Nabiki's plate to find it gone, replaced with a sign. You are not going to a demon school, even if I must die to stop you.
Ranma held up the sign. "Care explaining this, Pops?" Mr. Panda froze, allowing Ranma to reach for his food. He blinked as another pair of chopsticks slapped his own out of his hand and then took all the food from Mr. Panda's plate. He glanced at Akane as she grinned at him smugly, her chopsticks still in her mouth from the steal and the quick eating.
Ranma hadn't given her enough credit, again. Akane was incredibly good, for a girl... Even if she did turn into a guy.
Ranma was forced to turn his attention back to his father after a sign came down on his head. They admit demons. So the school must be run by demons. Mr. Panda flipped the sign. King Kong's face turned menacing as Ranma read this side of the sign. Thus the school is a demon school. I won't let you go learn demonic values at a demon school. Ranma felt two very powerful battle auras resonating behind him, two more off to the side, and he could see King Kong's without even trying.
Mr. Panda, on the other hand, seemed to be totally oblivious of all of them. Ranma just looked at him. 'How can I possibly be related to this guy?'
"Pops, they ain't demons. They went to Jusenkyou, just like us... You do remember that, don't ya'?" Mr. Panda glared at him and held up a sign.
Lies. All of it lies to deceive us. 'Am I really related to this guy,' Ranma wondered again.
"That is more than enough, Saotome!" Ranma glanced at King Kong, whose hands were blurs as the mechanical voice struggled to keep up, both in volume and in speed. "You cannot keep insulting my family like this and expect to remain in this house! Either cease this madness at once or leave now!" Ranma noted that only King Kong's battle aura was still lit up, and that Mr. Panda was cowering in a corner of the room behind him.
"I don't think he's gonna cause ya' anymore trouble today, King Kong." Ranma grinned. It was way too funny calling Mr. Tendou that, but he sobered up quickly. "But I wouldn't blame ya' if you did kick him out for a while." Ranma turned to Akane and Ukyou with a slight frown on his face. "C'mon, lets go before Pops recovers." With that, he left, missing the looks exchanged by the women.
Akane rushed out with Ukyou in tow. "What's with Ranma this time?"
Ukyou, struggling to understand the strange events of the morning, spoke without really thinking. "How would I know? I don't know how those two get along in the slightest. They're complete opposites from what I've seen of them."
"Them?" Akane thought about this. "Something about his father is bugging him!" She thought about that a little and, realizing that she should have known that from the start, blushed. "It must be the way Genma is treating us all like we are demons." 'Still,' she thought. 'It wouldn't hurt to ask him.'
Akane spotted Ranma off ahead of them, walking on the fence. She wondered about this as she ran to catch up with the jogging martial artist, but put it down to be some sort of balance training. Akane resolved to give it a try later as she pulled a dazed Ukyou to where Ranma had suddenly stopped.
"Hey, Akane," he said uncertainly. "Which way is the school?" Akane slipped and grabbed the fence, nearly falling flat on her face from Ranma's query. Ukyou, being dragged along by the other hand, didn't have the fence to grab and was less fortunate. She lay on the ground as Akane looked at Ranma, her thoughts of asking Ranma about his problems disappearing completely in the face of his idiocy.
"Why are you leading the way if you don't know how to get there?" This was absurd, not as absurd as the Kunous, but still... "Follow me." Akane helped the slowly recovering Ukyou pull herself off the ground, then set off in the direction that they were already heading in.
They walked for a few minutes in silence. Ukyou stunned into silence by the morning's revelations about Ranma's father, Ranma feeling too akward to say anything, and Akane fuming over the almost painfully obvious incompetence of the Saotome family. After about three minutes of this, Ranma broke the silence.
"So, do a lotta people 'round here know 'bout the curses?" Akane glanced back over her shoulder, then turned around completely and walked backwards. Ranma had hopped off the fence without her knowing it. She studied his expression for a moment, finding him to be genuinally curious. She sighed.
"Yes, Ranma, almost everyone around here knows about our curses."
"So I don't hav'ta worry 'bout keepin' mine a secret that much, huh?" Ukyou broke in before Akane could respond to the question.
"Yeah, but try to keep it within our class." Ranma and Akane both looked at her oddly. "Well, your mother..." Ranma paled.
"Ya' just had'ta remind me." He looked down at the ground with a somber expression. "What'll I do 'bout the mess Pops has gotten me into this time?" Akane looked at him with concern.
"This time?" Ranma grimaced again, staring at the ground.
"Ya' don't wanna know, trust me." Akane continued walking along backwards, watching Ranma, until a splash of cold water hit her.
"Cold."
"Damn!"
"Cold!"
All three cursed martial artists turned a cold glare at the little old lady who continued to ladle water onto her walkway, apparently completely oblivious of the three she had just splashed. Kaneda turned back to Ranko and Ukyou.
"Let's stop by Dr. Toufuu's and get some hot water." Ranko perked up at this.
"Well, what're we waitin' for?" She made to bolt off, but Kaneda picked her up by the back of her shirt.
"You don't know the way yet, Ranko."
"You aren't trying to lose us, now, are ya' Ranchan?" Ukyou cast a dark look at Ranko.
"Ah-heh-heh..." Ranko reached up and rubbed at the base of her red pigtail. "No, I just can't stand being a girl... I feel weaker in this body..." Ranko noticed Ukyou casting her an evil eye as Kaneda grinned. Ranko may be weaker, but she would soon discover that she is also much faster as a girl, if she hasn't already figured that out. "Besides, I'm a man, not a girl!" Kaneda fought the ugre to tell her that pointing at her chest like that didn't really help her case.
He sighed. "Let's just go." The wet group set off in another direction in silence.
Ranko spotted the clinic easily as they approached. It was one of those all-around type places that usually had an older doctor who had studied for years running it. Ranko glanced at the sign. This guy must be particularly old considering all the things he knew.
"So, this guy'll give us hot water?" Ranko wasn't so sure. Since getting her curse, most such men had tried to seal her away, thinking her to be some sort of demon. She'd taken to avoiding them.
"Yes, Ranchan, he'll give us some water." Ranko glanced at Ukyou, who seemed nervous about something. "Stay out here, me and Kaneda will get the water." Ranko decided not to argue as the other two headed for the front door. She had the feeling that Ukyou was trying to hide her for some reason. Maybe Nodoka frequented this place? She watched from around the corner as an old woman went to fetch the other two some water.
Ranko suddenly sensed a cold presence just over her shoulder, and instinctively jumped up the wall to get away from it. She turned to look at what had snuck up on her to discover a man holding a skeleton. She looked the man over carefully. He was young, maybe between 20 and 25. He wore a small pair of glasses, a medical gi, and had his hair in a small ponytail behind his head. Ranko focused on him, trying to sense his ki, but she had no success.
The man apparently couldn't handle her gaze, though, and gave her a strained smile as he spoke. "Hello, I don't believe I've met you before Miss...?" He looked at her as if asking her to fill in the name. He was also eyeing her very carefully though, making Ranko slightly nervous. His control over his ki had vanished when he smiled, revealing that he wasn't particularly powerful. Ranko climbed down, but stood by the wall.
"Ummm... Ranko... Saotome Ranko." She frowned as he stood up straight at her name. "Who're you?" The man blinked at her a few times before responding slowly with a glare.
"I'm Dr. Toufuu Ono, the Saotome family doctor, and I know you aren't Ranko." Ranko blinked at him, stunned into silence. A voice from around the corner brought her out.
"There you are, Ranko!" Ranko spun around to look at a normal Ukyou handing Ranko a kettle. Ranko glanced at the now confused doctor. Ukyou's gaze followed Ranko's. "Ummm..."
"You two should probably tell me what's going on here." Toufuu's expression had turned to one of open concern. Ranko sighed. The man was right.
"Ummm, for starters, my name's really Saotome Ranma, and I'm really a boy..." Ranko dumped the kettle over her head, provoking the change back to her normal self. Ranma looked at the doctor's expression. It didn't change any. 'Once you've seen one curse, you've seen them all,' he thought darkly. "I need ya' not to tell my mom, Saotome Nodoka, I think she'd likely kill me if she found out 'bout my curse."
Toufuu looked at Ranma carefully. Toufuu looked some more. Ranma big-sweated as Toufuu continued looking at him. Then a voice broke the awkward situation.
"I couldn't find him anywhere..." Akane trailed off as she came around the corner and spotted Toufuu. "Nevermind."
Toufuu looked at Akane, then back at Ranma before speaking. "You want me to keep your curse a secret from your mother? May I ask why?" Ranma looked at Toufuu hard, but didn't quite glare. "I'm afraid I can't keep something like this a secret from your own mother without good reason." Ranma looked at the floor, then relunctantly explained about the sepekku promise. Toufuu was pale at the end of the explanation.
"Kamisama... And I thought she was a kind, gentle woman." He put his hand to his forehead and sighed. "Well, your secret is safe with me." Ranma grinned.
"Thanks." Ranma looked at the girls. "What time is it?" Akane and Ukyou blinked several times as they realized something.
"Kamisama! We're late!" They spoke at the same time, making Ranma shift uncomfortably. They each then grabbed one of Ranma's hands and ran off towards school, pulling a yelling Ranma backwards.
Ukyou scowled as she spotted the school gate ahead. She idly wondered which the idiot would think of her today, demon or angel? Ukyou saw the crowd behind the gate, and her scowl deepened. It looked like today was an angel day.
"You two best keep out of this..." she trailed off as Akane shot her a look that said 'I know.' Ranma just looked confused.
"Keep outta' what?" Akane sighed and Ukyou decided it would be her turn to explain a few things a little later. For now, he would have to settle with a short answer.
"Because this is my fight, Ranchan." Ukyou unslung her battle spatula and rushed headlong into the group of boys attacking her. She noticed Akane and Ranma jump to the fence surrounding the school and decided to make this quick, since they were already late. She used the flat sides of the spatula and her elbows to down most of the group quickly, and wasn't surprised when some of the stragglers ran before she could get to them.
She idly caught the red rose that flew at her shoulder. Ukyou turned a cold glare on it's source. The tall boy dressed in kendo gear minus the padding and mask didn't even flinch. He held his bokken steady as he recited some poetry.
"Ah, tis the illustrious Kuonji Ukyou, surely this day must smile upon me, for her ferocity in battle is matched only by her lovely complexion." Had Ukyou not heard this and similar things a thousand times before from him, she would have blushed at the complement... And if not for the fact that it was horribly bad poetry. Ukyou's glare deepened, but the kendoist didn't seem to notice. He never did. She sighed.
"I don't have time for this..." Ranma popped up next to her, making her trail off as she jumped slightly.
"What's with him?" Ukyou looked at him, wondering why he didn't ask Akane, but the handprint on his face made her think otherwise. She could ask Akane later.
"Go away, Ranchan, my fight isn't over yet." Ukyou pointed a quick glare at Ranma, who was busy looking over the boys she'd knocked out. He opened his mouth to say something, but a booming voice interrupted him.
"Who are you who hounds the angelic Kuonji Ukyou?" Ukyou glared at the complete idiot who had the gall to make such a proclomation when he was doing that very thing. Ranma made a quick retort.
"I ain't hounding anybody here!"
"Who are you, boor?" Ranma started to answer but the kendoist broke in. "Ah, but it is custom to give one's own name first." Ranma blinked at the idiot as Ukyou watched the spectacle, recalling when Akane's cursed form had first shown a difference from her real self. The two situations seemed nearly identical, and she grimaced as more of it played out. "Fine then, my name I shall give!"
Ukyou watched as Ranma, bored by the idiot's sudden ranting, just waved him off. The kendoist took this as a sign to continue, drawing a grimace from both Ranma and Ukyou. "I am Kunou Tatewaki, Junior, Group E, captain of the kendo club, rising new star of the high school kendo world. But my peers call me..." He paused as if for dramatic effect and Ukyou rolled her eyes. "The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" Thunder crashed in the background, bringing several pairs of eyes to the suddenly dark sky. Ranma was quick to recover, and Ukyou's eyes went wide as he said precisely the thing to set Kunou off.
"Okay, umm... I'm stayin' at the Tendou dojo..." Ukyou backed away from Ranma.
"What!" Kunou bellowed. "Under the same roof as Tendou Akane! No doubt you intend to hound her as well!" Ukyou watched as Kunou charged at Ranma, striking out in a flash. "I shall never allow you to hound my loves!" Ukyou blinked as Ranma's afterimage allowed the bokken to pass right through it.
Ukyou spotted Ranma doing a slow backflip through the air as he took off his backpack. "I'm Saotome Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts." He tossed his bag to Ukyou with a quick "Hold this for me," and landed in a battle stance. "And I accept your challenge!"
Ignoring the pain from the slap Akane had given him, Ranma glared at Kunou. He could hear the shouts from above of someone saying another martial artist was in the area, and Nabiki saying something about Kunou's nickname, but he ignored these as he studied Kunou's ki for a moment. It was pathetic for a martial artist. Toufuu had more power than Kunou, and he was a doctor, not a fighter!
Ranma relaxed his stance and finally started taking in the comments coming from the school. Another martial artist...? Wasting his time... 'They're right there...' Questions about his staying with Akane... Girls talking about what a hunk he was...
One of Kunou's earlier comments pounded its way through Ranma's thick skull. 'My loves?' Ranma looked hard at Kunou. From what Ranma had seen, neither girl liked Kunou, much less loved him. Kunou glared back.
"Scoundrel, hounding my innocent Akane and my angelic Ukyou all at once." Ranma heard soft gagging sounds coming from behind him, but decided they could wait, for now. "I cannot allow it!"
"Who's hounding who here?" Ranma realized it was pointless to waste his breath as Kunou shifted slightly. "It doesn't look like it's me doing the hounding, that's for sure."
Kunou charged at Ranma with a mighty swing, but Ranma jumped as Kunou buried his weapon in the concrete wall around the school. Ranma landed in a nearby tree as Kunou whipped around to attack him again. "Knave! To even suggest that I would chase a woman unwanting of me! Unforgivable!" Kunou sliced the tree down and Ranma landed halfway across the school field.
"Hey, it's the truth!" Ranma blinked as Kunou faltered in his sudden mad dash.
"Foul demon, I shall return you to the hell from which you came!" Ranma blinked a few times at Kunou's new proclomation. Where did he come up with these things? For that matter, where did he come up with that maddening high and mighty attitude? He was pathetic, and had no reason to have such an attitude. "Is stopping the movement of my body the only way you can defeat me? You must surely be in league with that scourge, Kaneda! I cannot allow either of you to live! Prepare for your end, demon!"
Ranma glared. "Who're you callin' a demon!" Ranma decided to finish the fool off as he heard thunder overhead. This guy obviously didn't know about the curses, and Ranma would prefer to keep it that way.
Ranma jumped into the air, heading towards Kunou on an arc. He saw Kunou's bokken come up, charged with most of Kunou's ki, and neatly pushed it aside with his ki-charged hand. Ranma pressed on Kunou's forehead as the surprised kendoist stared with wide eyes.
The sky chose that moment to open up, and Ranma charged towards the school. A quick look over his shoulder as he changed forms comfirmed that his finger trick had distracted Kunou enough for him to send the kendoist flying towards the roof of the school.
Ranko entered the front door to be confronted by both Ukyou and Akane scowling at her.
"Aah-hehehe... I guess I toyed around there too long." The scowls on the other girls' faces deepened.
Akane quickly took her seat, which was next to Ukyou's, as they entered the classroom. Luckily for them, the teacher's back was turned to the class, so they might not be noticed. Ranma, on the other hand, had no seat to go to, and stayed at the door until the teacher noticed him.
"Ah, class, it would appear that we have a new student as of today, one Mr. Saotome..." He looked down at the sheets in front of him, and Akane saw his eyebrow go up. That wasn't a good sign. "It would seem that he's staying with the Tendou's..." A few sniggers went around the room as Akane felt a blush overcome her face. "...And has been enrolled similarly to Ms. Kounji and Ms. Tendou." Silence reigned as the man looked over at a fidgeting Ranma. "If you don't mind my asking, Mr. Saotome, just what exactly do you turn into?" Ranma's face contorted into a slight grimace. He muttered something and looked down. "I'm afraid that I didn't hear you there, Mr. Saotome."
"Onna." Akane was sure that if she could have seen his face, it would have been beet red. Akane could feel several pairs of eyes turn on her as the moment wore on.
After recovering from the shock, the teacher picked up a glass of water on his desk. He walked over to Ranma, who looked up as he approached. "I do need to know what you look like in both forms, Mr. Saotome..." Ranma looked back towards the ground, but Akane could still see his face, now contorted into a resigned frown. Akane suddenly wished that the people who were looking at him would look somewhere else.
The water descended over Ranma's head, changing him into a petite redhead. Ranko's unhappiness with the situation was clearly written all over her face. Akane wondered if she had underestimated Ranma's dislike of his cursed state as she watched the boy-turned-girl stare at the ground.
Another glass was upended on Ranko's head, and Ranma looked up at the teacher questioningly. The teacher smiled slightly at Ranma, then leaned forward and whispered something in his ear before returning to his desk. Akane wondered what he had said. That man was known to be a mild prankster. Akane twitched as the looks in her direction became more intense.
Ranma smiled gratefully at the man, then looked around the room, his eyes landing on the only empty desk in the room. The desk next to hers, opposite of Ukyou's.
The silence in the room started grating on Akane. The looks at her felt like lasers boring right through her soul. Akane suddenly wished something would break the silence, anything.
Ranma took a step towards the desk when a loud shout echoed from down the hall, fulfilling Akane's wish of moments ago. The voice that shouted it made Akane wish it hadn't.
"I shall never allow it!" Kunou burst through the door, slamming it so hard that it broke off its hinges. "I shall never accept your engagements to my beautious Tendou Akane and my angelic Kuonji Ukyou!" A shock induced silence ruled the room as Kunou glared at Ranma. Ranma failed to notice the glare. All three cursees had put their faces in their hands. Akane peeked out to see Ranma had moved on to glaring at the ceiling, whereas Ukyou was muttering curses about how unbeleivable life could get.
She idly wondered who or what she could blame as she felt anger swelling throughout the room. Everyone at Furinkan High was a martial artist of some sort. And while alone they were weak, just like with any other mob, together they became very powerful indeed. It was made worse when one considered that most of the school's best were in the classroom. The collective battle aura was making her extremely nervous. Who would it flow at?
Ranma tensed as Kunou leapt towards him. "Evil demon, I can see through your blasphelmy!" Ranma jumped towards a window, eager to get away from the mass battle aura his classmates were giving off. It contained a lot more power than most he had seen, enough to take him down if it was directed at him. "Stand still, foul scourge, so I may smite you!" Kunou's bokken was being swung every which way in an effort to catch Ranma, and it was starting to bug him.
"Hey, this is no place for a fight!"
"There is no wrong place to slay a demon!" Ranma grimaced as he leapt to the window. He didn't like being called a demon, not in the least, but at least he knew that Kunou would follow him.
"I'm tellin' ya', I ain't a demon!" Not bothering to look at where he was going to land, Ranma jumped out towards the center of the school yard. He instead watched to make sure Kunou followed him.
"Hey, man!" Ranma looked past Kunou noticing that the mass aura had gone away, and that a blond guy was waving at him. "This is the third floor!"
"No problem!" Ranma called back, looking for the first time at where he was going to land.
"And you're heading for the pool!"
"Shit!" It was just Ranma's luck to jump towards the pool. He splashed down into the water, instantly changing into Ranko. A second splash announced Kunou's landing. Wishing to keep her identity a secret from the bulk of the school, Ranko swam up under the now unconscious Kunou. Slowly, she swam towards the side.
"I fight on!" Kunou suddenly wrapped his arms around Ranko, grabbing her soft busom. He froze, and she grabbed his head. Flipping Kunou onto the concrete with a shout of "Pervert!" Ranko quickly flipped off into the woods.
"Hey, why did Ranma come up under Kunou like that?" Akane glanced at the blond Hiroshi, wondering what she should tell him and the rest of the class. Ukyou partially solved this problem.
"Ranchan's family has some bad blood in it, and he's trying to keep out of sight." She put on her horrible poker face and Akane grimaced.
"He also doesn't want it getting out that he's cursed like that." The entire class was paying attention to their conversation by now.
"So he has a separate name for his cursed form?" Yuka, one of Akane's few friends, asked. Akane glanced at her as Ukyou spoke.
"Yep, girl Ranma should be called Ranko." Several students looked at them as if they had grown extra heads. Akane raised her hands and waved them in a pacifying manor.
"That was Ranma's idea. He wants people to think that his girl form is his half-sister." More odd looks were directed at Akane. "Hey, it's actually believable."
"No way," Daisuke, a boy with greasy black hair, said. "I mean, what does that say about his dad?"
"You haven't met the man, Daisuke," Akane said flatly.
"Yeah, I don't know how those two can possibly be related, they're exact opposites," Ukyou ticked things off on her fingers as she listed them out. "Genma makes a promise he can't possibly keep, Ranchan beats him up to restore family honor; Genma engages Ranchan to two women, Ranchan helps both get revenge and tries to give both an equal chance; Genma engages Ranchan for food, Ranchan promises to give her a chance, even when she says she doesn't care." Most the room was quiet. "I'm not forgeting anything, am I Akane?"
"I think you got everything we know about covered."
"You mean there's more?" Sayuri, another of Akane's friends, asked disbelievingly. Akane grimaced.
"From the way Ranma acts, lots more, worse too." The entire room was pale now.
"How does he live with that guy?" One student asked.
"Forget that," Hiroshi said. "How does that guy live with himself?"
"I've been wondering about that since I found out that Ranma was Ucchan's missing fiancée." Akane blinked, realizing something. She turned to her teacher. "Um, sensei, may I be excused?" He smiled at her.
"To bring your fiancée some hot water? Of course, Akane." He grinned at her as she blushed.
"I barely know him, so I'd prefer to forget that little fact for now, sensei." Akane left before anybody could speak to the contrary. She failed to notice when Ukyou didn't follow.
Meanwhile, down on the pavement by the pool, Kunou tries to lay deep in thought. A rare occurance to say the least. One can almost hear the rusty gears grinding as Kunou shifts his head this way and that, trying to process the conflicting information his feeble mind has managed to absorb. After an eternity, he bolts upright from his position.
"Saotome, you vile demonic scourge!" His yell goes unheard, as nearly everyone at Furinkan had long ago learned to filter out the sound of his voice. "Leaving a maiden to fight in your place as you run to hide! I shall return you to the hell from whence you came!"
He runs off, the gears in his head no longer grinding against each other fruitlessly.
"Damn idiot," Ranko muttered as she sat in a nearby tree. She ignored Kunou's screams as she worked on wringing out her wet pants. "He didn't have to squeeze that hard..." Ranko vaguly noticed Akane approaching with her arms behind her back, but she didn't acknowledge the other girl.
"Rough day, wouldn't you say, Ranko," Akane called from below. Ranko looked down at Akane with an angry pout on her face. She wondered why Akane was blushing suddenly.
"Rough?" Ranko's unconsious pout turned into a frown. "Would you beleive that with the exception of bein' grabbed by that pervert, the rest of this day has actually been kinda' routine?"
"Considering your father... Yes, I would." Ranko nearly fell out of the tree. "Anything you need?" Ranko scowled.
"Somethin' I need?" She needed some hot water, but her pride wouldn't let her ask for it. "I don't need nothin'." Ranko looked away angrily.
"Then I guess you don't want this..." Ranko's curiosity got the best of her and she looked over at Akane as she brought her hands in front of her. "...hot water. I'll just have to throw it away." Ranko paled.
"No! Meanie, uncute, sexless tomboy... bring it back!" Ranko's calls went unheeded as Akane started walking off with the hot water. She couldn't see the mischievious smile that crept onto Akane's face. The smile that had disappeared by the time Akane turned around.
"You have to promise me something." Ranko looked at the blank expression on Akane's face, wondering what her fiancé was up to.
"Ahhh..." Ranko heard a sloshing noise coming from behind Akane, and quickly focused on it. She grimaced as she found the source.
Akane turned to look at the source of the noise and went stock still for a moment. Ranko heard Akane moan resignidly and wondered if that was a good sign.
The still thoroughly soaked Kunou turned to face them, and his face lit up. "Tis the beautious Tendou Akane, my love! How I have missed thee these precious hours of our separation..." Ranko decided it was not a good sign as Akane simply threw the kettle at her. She took the kettle to the head and fell out of the the tree, somehow managing to keep the hot water in the kettle as she landed. Unfortunately, Kunou took notice of the commotion. "And who may I ask is this graceful flower?"
Ranko grimaced. How could this guy see grace in falling to the ground head first? "I'm Saotome Ranko, Ranma's half-sister on our father's side." Kunou went stock still and Ranko wondered what could be going through his head. "And I'm engaged to Kaneda, so don't get any funny ideas..." Akane shot Ranko a shocked look, and Ranko realized her mistake.
Kunou remembered how to shout. "Sister to one scourge, fiancé of another... Never fear mi lady for I, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, shall free you from their evil grasps." Ranko stared as the kendoist abruptly changed gears. "Do you know where I could find that demon, Saotome? The base coward who would leave thee, his own sister, to fight in his stead." Ranko started glaring at Kunou. "He is no man, no man!" Ranko's glare would've killed a less oblivious person.
It should be said that Kunou Tatewaki, believing magic to be a sign of evil, wouldn't be able to see magic as being as innocent as a simple water curse. He'd seen Akane, Ukyou, and even Nabiki transform numerous times, and believed it to be the work of evil. This was, in fact, the primary reason why Nabiki had started carrying around instant spring water.
Fourtunately for Kunou, he had yet to run afoul of a living sorceror/sorceress or diety, for he would surely have insulted them and received a curse far worse than any Jusenkyou could possibly dish out. (Except maybe for the original Jusenkyou spring, Spring of Drowned Magical Purple Dinosaur, which was totally permanent and left the cursee's mind forever locked beneath that of a love-preaching pacifist.)
This was why, when Ranko's blistering battle aura vaporized the water in the kettle and returned her to Ranma, Kunou suddenly took to beleiving Ranma had fused his sister to himself for some perverse reason.
This could be considered a bad thing for Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou, as this meant they'd have to put up with his antics for some time.
"I'll show you who's a man!" Ranma roared.
Kunou glared at Ranma as he brought his full power to bear, focusing it all in his bokken. "So the Demon Scourge shows himself! I shall slay thee!" He rushed forward faster than Ranma expected and struck with a dozen strikes before Ranma could recover fully from his shock.
"You're gonna hav'ta move faster than that if you even wanna hit me!" Ranma yelled as he caught Kunou's pattern in only a second or two. After that, dodging the attacks didn't even require conscious effort on his part, even though the power and speed behind the attacks increased slightly because of Ranma's goading.
After a few seconds of silence on the kendoist's part, Ranma realized that Kunou wasn't going to respond. "Just how the hell do you explain me bein' a 'demon' when my sister's a 'fair maiden,' anyway?"
"Your mother was a demon whereas Ranko's was a maiden!" Ranma grabbed Kunou's bokken and punched him hard enough to knock the wind out of him and then some.
"Ya' don't even know my mother, so I don't know where the hell you get off judgin' her!" Ranma's aura had intensified. It was so bright, Kunou had to look away from it.
"That you would have me believe that a maiden such as Ranko could be evil tells me enough, demon!" Kunou shouted. Ranma looked at Kunou for a long, hard moment.
"I've killed demons before, Kunou. And let me tell ya', the most dangerous by far are the ones that look like 'fair maidens,' not monsters." Ranma's aura dispersed as he picked up something that had flown out of Kunou's shirt. He pocketed the picture faster than the eye could blink as Akane approached with his pants, hoping beyond hope that she didn't notice the picture suddenly disappear.
"You left these in the tree." Ranma took the pants and put them on as Kunou got up. "Weren't you just holding something?" Ranma blanched.
"I burned it."
"That quickly?" Akane glared at him.
"Yes." He pointed at a convenient pile of ashes, created when his ki had run through the bokken in conflict to Kunou's own. Akane took on a blank look as she looked at the pile of ashes. "I'm headin' home."
"Not before school ends, you don't."
"Naw, I've had enough for today..." He jumped over Kunou's strike, idly wondering where he'd got the extra bokken from, and delivered a devastating roundhouse kick that left Kunou's head buried in a tree half-way across the clearing. "...And ya' can blame him that I'm in no mood to put up with it." Ranma turned to leave, entirely missing Akane's darkening expression.
He didn't miss it, however, when he found his face at the end of Akane's fist.
Ukyou scribled quick notes for herself, Akane, and Ranma. She hadn't missed the flare ups of those battle auras, especially Akane's. She didn't know who had recieved the beating, but that hardly mattered either way.
So she continued writing quick notes for her two wayward love interests.
Kunou pulled his head out of the tree and once again tried to think deeply. Needless to say, he failed miserably. He instead added yet more wrong assumptions to his idea of the world.
Ranma was a demon. He surely worked with Kaneda to create the dual engagements. Said engagements enforced through the use of sorcery. Ranma, like Kaneda, used magic to make himself faster and stronger than Kunou. He also, unlike Kaneda, used it to confuse and stop Kunou. Ranma worked with Kaneda to prevent fair maidens from showing their love for Kunou.
Ranko was Ranma's half-sister. That made their father a dishonorable cur. The man had been seduced by Ranma's mother after marrying Ranko's mother. The two had been born within a month of each other. Genma had run off with them. Sometime between then and now, Ranma fused Ranko to himself. Now he sought to help Kaneda prevent any of the girls from showing their love for Kunou.
Ranma must be feeding dark energy to the demon possessing Ukyou. This would prevent her from showing her true feelings for Kunou.
All in all, Kunou's perception of the world just became even screwier.
Kunou walked back towards the school, determined to free this latest damzel from the likes of Kaneda.
Later that night, Genma ran through several exercises with his son as he worked up the nerve to speak. The fact that the boy had come back from school early had left Genma estatic. The state his son had been in had not.
An angry Ranma was never easy to handle. An angry, sore Ranma was hell to try to control in any way.
So Genma had elected to allow Ranma to cool off for an hour or so. That hour had extended itself into several hours.
Finally, Genma worked up the nerve to say something. "Good to see that those demons haven't turned you yet, boy." He blinked as his son stopped training to look at him like he was mad. "What? Is there something on my face?" Ranma pointed behind Genma, prompting the man to glance over his shoulder.
Behind him stood three very pissed off women and one very angry gorrilla. The screaming didn't stop for almost half an hour.
Author's Notes:
There goes chapter 3 of my masterpeice! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Flames over this proclamation will be used to heat my home!
Anyway, it turned out pretty good considering I haven't worked on
it for over a year. A nice little revision to the first two chapters
followed by the completion of this chapter... I'm feeling pretty good
about it now that I remember where I was sending this.
Anyway, are there any questions? Doesn't Ranma's mother live in
Juuban? Who's this other Saotome Ranko? Why did Akane slap Ranma
earlier? What's the whole demon/angel thing with Kunou and Ukyou? And
how did Ranma get turned back into a guy in that last scene? Oh, and
aren't you being just a little cruel to Genma?
In order of appearance... Yes, there are. Some people think that.
Next chapter; I promise. I forget (It's been too long since I wrote
that scene, but it was glaringly obvious at the time (I've since come
up with a whole new reason that fits the story.).). Kunou's obsessed
with Western literature, so it'd only follow that he's also obsessed
with Western religion. Angry aura hot aura (Driving principle behind
Hiryuu Shoten Ha.). And, yes, I am being cruel to the fat bastard; I've
got issues with child abuse, okay!
Revision Notes:
I've opted to leave the original notes in for this one, just to
give you all a laugh at the first bit, which I usually delete during
final revision. To clue you all in, I first started work on Life's
Twists just three months after I started writing fanfiction. At the
time, I thought it'd be a great running gag in the author's notes to
loudly call this my greatest work.
Making good on my promise to give you a chapter over the weekend,
here it is. But just so you know, I'm going to have to beat myself over
the head with all my old notes (Some of which I have lost.) over this before really remembering
where this was going... Into the depths of chaos just isn't quite
descriptive enough, in my own humble opinion.
Kudos to Drifter950 and Thunderstorm101 for clarifying the origins of the Confucian curse 'May you live in interesting times.'
I've started a forum for this fanfic that you can access from my
account. Feel free to comment on things from the story there, start new
topics, or whatever. Just keep it clean and don't forget that it should
focus on something from this story. I'll keep an eye on it, and I may
even consider adding your (the readers') ideas in if they're unusual
enough and I can figure out how to add them in.
One last thing... If anyone out there can decently speak both
Japanese and English, contact me. I severely need help with developing
attacks and attack names (Read: I'm just too lazy to try and
create/translate them myself.). Help with names for original charaters
is always good, too, though it's not needed nearly so badly.
Until the next Chapter...
SkyDragon2083
Finished June 14, 2005
Slightly revised July 5, 2006
Released July 8, 2006
