I stare at the panel, flicking through the vast library of clothing I have. Nope. No. Definitely not. Too much. Not enough. I take a deep breath in and keep searching. I have to make sure this is right. I can't wear anything I'd normally wear out and about in the city or at work, but then I don't want to be too casual. I can't be looking like I'm heading out to the gym now, can I? What about red? It's always been my colour. I tap 'red' into the panel and it brings up a whole variety of options, including a dress from many years ago, worn once and never again but I could never get rid of. No. That would definitely be too much. I can't keep flicking through these options; I don't have much time left. I settle on a simple red dress; nothing too dressy, just what I imagined girls in District 4 would wear to the beach on weekends. The frosted glass wardrobe door opens to revel my selection, freshly pressed without a single crease in the fabric.
I look from the dress to the mirror and stare at my reflection. Not many people have seen me naked. Well, a fair few have, but not truly naked. Without the wigs and dramatic eye make-up and bold styles. My Avoxes have, but who are they going to tell? Even at work, my lab coat is the height of Capitol fashion and I'll often pair it with a pair of outlandish heels. Sometimes I don't recognise myself without it all and forget I'm a natural blonde. If I went out like this, I would definitely be turning some heads, not because I'd be in my underwear, plenty do do that, but because I was my real self. I run a hand through my hair, feeling my nails scrape against my bare scalp and breathe deep. God, it feels good without the wig. I wore a long black one yesterday, with the ends coloured yellow, orange and red. Fire is the hottest trend since our latest batch of tributes were displayed to the nation. District 12 never usually makes such a statement at the parades but this year, they certainly made an impression. The Capitol is buzzing louder than usual and I sense it is in the Districts as well. These Games will be very interesting indeed.
Right: better get dressed. No. Check the apartment one more time.
I go out into the main living area and make sure everything is perfect. Fluff the cushions one more time, make sure the artwork is hanging straight, check the champagne is chilled to perfection. I know this is the nerves starting to set in. Of course, everything is the picture out of a lifestyle magazine but I can't just sit there and wait. My head will explode with anxiety, playing out all the possible things that could happen. Even thinking about me thinking of what could happen has made me anxious.
I step out onto my balcony, grabbing my NicStick and taking a deep inhale of the raspberry vapour. My heart rate begins to slowly come back down and I breathe in the fresh Capitol air. The neighbours would have a fright if they saw me out here in my underwear. It's a good job I don't have any. My closest ones would have to have a very good pair of binoculars if they wanted a glimpse of my ass, ones so good, they'd get past the protective barrier that surrounds my apartment. Even if there was a building right in front of me, with nosey neighbours wanting a peak, they'd see an empty terrace whereas my view is uninterrupted for miles.
I take another deep drag of nicotine and exhale. I wish I could say that these little devices are the only acceptable form of drug, but anything goes here and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't dabbled. It's weird to go to a party and there isn't something going around and there's always something for everyone. I'm one for the sorts that make a good time better: cocaine, X Powder, liquid rainbows, that sort of thing. I see the appeal of morphling and dizzies, but they make you numb whereas I want to feel alive. Now, however, I want to feel calm. Work can be extremely stressful, especially this time of year, and this handy little pen just takes the edge off, no different to how a hot cup of coffee in the morning will perk you a little.
Realistically, I could've done this a while ago. I make far too much money for my own good, have way too much influence in the Capitol and a lot of spare time if I delegate my workload. I don't know why this is happening now. Okay, that's a lie. I know exactly why this is happening now. Fate. Well, it feels like fate, like the universe is telling me I need to do this now.
It started about six weeks ago. There was chatter at work about our brightest intern and a wild alluring party that felt like a dream you have with a serious fever. I was thrown back to my younger self, waking up in my bed alone after falling asleep in a different one with company. At the time, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened, that life would just carry on as normal. How was I meant to go back to work and paying bills and cooking in my tiny apartment and all the other boring shit you have to do when I just had the most amazing magical experience of my life so far? It was the realest thing that had happened to me, so passionate yet emotional, and I wasn't even entirely sure it was real. I mean, I knew it was real once I fully came to my senses. The taste on my lips, the love bite on my neck, the aching in my joints, the severe lack of the underwear I was wearing.
The second sign came from a simple technical malfunction in my wardrobe. I wouldn't have given it any second thought under normal circumstances, but the rumours at work brought everything up to the surface again. It was a particularly bright day and I tapped into the panel for sunglasses. When the glass door disappeared, I was greeted with the black crystal mask that had stayed in storage for many years. I picked it up like it was the most valuable piece of art I'd ever beheld. I brought it up to my face and looked in the mirror. It didn't look right. I was Miss Evander, top genetic scientist and expert in muttation development, holding up a mask over a mask. I was adamant I kept it on that night, and I do the exact same in my day-to-day life. Maybe I could take it off, just one more time.
The third and final sign from the universe was a bit more obvious. In fact, it was a lot more obvious. Thirty feet in the sky and for everyone to see. A billboard by SWMMRS, a popular swimwear brand, advertising their summer collection and modelled by a face that I knew but didn't know mine.
Well, that was it wasn't it? When the universe calls, you answer.
I didn't know exactly how to make it happen, but that seemed to fall into place like fate willed it to happen. A dinner for the team behind the scenes of the Games takes place a week before the Reapings at the President's mansion and I knew this would be my chance. I didn't know him well but I have met him on a few occasions, mainly to be commended for mine and my teams work, both in the Games and Panem in general. I dressed to impress and put on my best master manipulator wig and got to work. Mingling from person to person, chatting away, until I worked my way up to the big man. I've never asked to pay for sex before, let alone ask the President if I can pay him to have sex with one particular individual, however the conversation seemed to naturally progress in that way, another calling from fate.
It started with his excitement for what my team had developed for this year's Games, then to which District was likely to win. Part of me thought he was trying to see if I was the sort of person who would manipulate things somehow to allow for me to win big if I was to bet. I smiled coyly and said I didn't care who won, only to see my work on the screen. He mentioned the Career Districts, 1, 2 and 4, would probably win. I wasn't going to bring up the fact that everyone knows but doesn't speak about, that illegal training leads to those Districts to producing such ferocious tributes that usually win; he probably organised for the camps to be built himself in all honesty. We went down memory lane, recounting the different Arenas and Victors. The one from the 70th Games didn't get mentioned; it was terrible what happened to her and I understood why he chose to omit her.
And all of this led to a certain Victor that, when I said his name, made Snow's eyes glitter with the cash he generates from him. Snow asked me what I thought of him and I did my best to appear completely infatuated by the Victor but coy and bashful at the same time. His eyes glittered even more and he said he could organise a private meeting. I jumped at the opportunity like a lovestruck teenager. He found my reaction amusing but I was soon informed that I would need to pay for such a meeting. I asked how much; he asked how long. I hadn't actually thought of how much time I wanted or needed. He suggested an evening would be ample time for me to do whatever I wanted with him. The colour that rose to my cheeks after he said that was genuine. I asked how much 24 hours would cost and he seemed surprised. Perhaps it was too bold of a request on my part, but he gave me the price within seconds of me asking. He clearly knows his costings when it comes to pimping, I thought. It was an eye watering amount of money, but it was a drop in the ocean for me. I agreed to the price and put my hand out for him to shake. He hesitated before taking it. I don't think he thought I would agree to such a price, but he took my hand and shook gently. We discussed the finer details of the arrangement briefly and I was given a card with some details to send the funds to along with what looked like a phone number. All in all, the experience was quite pleasant, but then again, I have never negotiated paying for the company of a young gentleman before so I have nothing to compare it to.
That was three weeks ago. I arranged for the money to be sent to Snow and received a letter two days later, confirming my booking and outlining the date and time of the meeting, along with some basic instructions, including using a code I had been told many moons ago. I'm known for taking a large chunk of time off once the Games begin so I knew I would have a whole 24 hours set aside. I might not even need it, to be honest. He could walk in, see me and turn around and leave again, but judging from what I remember of our initial meeting, I'm sure he's obliged to stay for as long as I paid. I would never demand that he stay if he wanted to leave, but I know I would hate it if he did.
Standing on my terrace in my underwear, self-medicating with nicotine and reminiscing about the events that led me to standing on my terrace in my underwear, self-medicating with nicotine, I hear the noise I was dreading yet excited to hear: the doorbell.
Shit! Fuck! I'm not even dressed?!
I sprint to my bedroom as I hear the door open by one of my Avoxes. Gentle footsteps echo on the marble flooring.
"I won't be long, Mr Odair!" I call out. "Please help yourself to champagne!"
"Not a problem; take your time, Miss Caelestis." One of my conditions was a fake name. Although this sort of arrangement is confidential and it's not like he would tell anyone, I didn't want him to have an inkling that I am that same woman from four years ago. Let's see how this surprise pans out.
I take the dress from the hanger and quickly put it on in front of the mirror. I smooth out the fabric as I analyse my face: natural make up, pinky red lips and soft bouncy ringlets of cool blonde. The dress is perfect. Not too much chest or leg on show.
"I hope you're ready to get down to business!"
"You have no idea!" The sarcasm in his voice doesn't go unnoticed. I can imagine he's been busy whilst in the Capitol. Not only does he have to mentor this year's tributes, he has to network with the city to get sponsors and also fuck his way through Snow's waiting list.
I tap into my wardrobe panel a pair of simple sandals and slip them on. I take one last drag from my NicStick and slip it into the dress pocket as I look at myself in the mirror. Here goes nothing.
The light from the sun highlights his sandy auburn hair as he stands at the glass window, looking out to the city skyline. Wearing a navy-blue blazer and matching pants, he sips a little of the champagne before rubbing the back of his neck. He checks the time on his watch. He already wants to go.
"I see you've still got a taste for the vintage stuff," I say.
"Holy fucking shit!" He jumps at the sound of my voice. "You scared… me…"
He trails off as he turns to me. From the short distance between us, his handsome face is a picture of recognition and confusion. The pieces of realisation are slowly coming together.
"Is it… No…" He says quietly. He brings a hand up, blocking part of his view of me, and then takes it away. "Venus."
"Hello Finnick."
"It's you."
"It's me!" I chuckle slightly.
"You're real."
"I'm real."
"I…" He takes a step closer to me, his brow furrowed and lips pressed together, deep in thought. I can't imagine what he's thinking right now. He lifts his hand to my face but hesitates.
"It's okay," I whisper. With consent granted, he grips my chin softly and I relax, allowing him to slowly tilt my head in different directions. He angles it back to him and he breathes deep. He wanted to see my face so desperately that night, and now he has it right there in front of him. It's funny really. I knew what he looked like from his Games and the various interviews and modelling campaigns he's done, but he never took his mask off that night either. This is the first time I'm seeing him too. There's a few more creases embellished in his beautiful face and his eyes are still the bright emerald I saw in the chandelier light.
"I realise this must be… overwhelming, confusing for you and I must admit, I don't quite know what to do now you're here."
He releases his hand from my chin and runs it through his hair, knocking back the rest of the champagne in the crystal glass.
"Tell me something from that night; something only we would know. I just… I need to know that it was real."
I take a deep breath in and hold it, memories from the night overwhelming my mind.
"You wore a grey suit and silver mask. I was just about to leave before I saw you and we came together, like we were magnets, and danced for what felt like an eternity. I couldn't stop looking into your eyes." He steps away from me and looks out to the Capitol, leaning his arm on the glass and resting his head on it, jaw clenched. "There were five arches and we went through the biggest one. There was a bed with a canopy and veils either side and a table filled with toys and coke and condoms. Looking back on it, we didn't really take advantage of what was in there but I don't think we n-"
"Stop." His voice is firm yet soft. His lips are pressed hard as his jaw pulsates. I close my eyes and breathe deep. I've fucked this up already. He goes to take another big glug of bubbly and smirks as only a drop from the bottom meets his lips. "I need air," he says as he takes the bottle off the ice and heads outside without looking at me. I stay, stood in the same spot, and catch glimpses of him pacing and drinking straight from the bottle while the glass is in hand. I inhale the raspberry vapour and my heart begins to slow down.
I head to the kitchen and programme my fridge to give me another open bottle of champagne out. There's no chance of there being any bubbly left for me in the one he took. I'm presented with a fresh bottle, the vapour still lingering around the top as I pour myself a glass. Bottle in one hand, crystal in the other, I make my way outside.
The sun still high in the early afternoon sky hits my guest in a heavenly way. He leans on the railings as he looks out over the city. I stand next to him, not too close but not too far and put the bottle down on the tiled floor beside me. I adopt a similar position to him and rest my arms on the metal barrier. I taste the champagne for the first time and realise I haven't eaten a lot today. Oh, fuck it. I tilt the glass and take another sip before another hit of nicotine. I can feel his eyes on me. I glance to him and offer the NicStick. His fingers brush over my knuckles as he takes it, inhales deep, holds it in and exhales the vapour. He gives it back to me and a faint smile rests on his lips.
"Raspberry. I like it."
I smirk before taking a drag myself. "Thanks."
And there we stand, sipping champagne and staring out to the Capitol. I spot the Training Centre not too far away from here. He's probably been right under my nose for many years in a building that I feel like I could pick up from here with my thumb and forefinger. I decide to break the comfortable yet awkward silence.
"Are you mad at me?"
"What? No. I'm a lot of things right now, but mad isn't one of them."
"What are you?"
"The sexiest man in Panem, of course," Finnick chuckles. I laugh and nudge into him a little. "I'm… confused, excited, extremely conflicted… surprised. Scared, sad, even. I'm…"
"A complete mess enclosed in a six-foot two body."
"Six-foot three and a half, actually."
"Oh, I'm sorry!" I laugh and glance to him, clocking a soft playful smile on his face. His face relaxes and I sense the whirlwind of emotion envelops him again. He breathes in deep.
"It's like meeting a complete stranger and someone I've known all my life at the same time," he says quietly.
"I know what you mean."
"Can… Can we start again?" I feel his eyes on me and I look up to him and nod.
"Of course. Come on. Let's get more comfortable."
I pick up the bottle and make my way over to the seating area I have on the south west corner of my penthouse terrace, glancing over my shoulder to check that he's following me.
"Jeez, how much space does one person need?" he says. I admit, my penthouse is exceptionally large for one person, but I only really bought it for the terrace and the views. Yoga in the dawn sun and a glass of wine in the dusk light, all because this place has almost 360 degrees of outdoor space that's large enough for unshadowing sunlight.
"I can give you a tour if you want, but it's quite lengthy and detailed, I'll have to charge you."
"Ouch!" he laughs.
"There's the gym and sauna, indoor pool, outdoor pool, BBQ area, hot tub, five bedrooms, three bathrooms, entertainment room, library, lab and office…"
"Lab?"
"I can go into detail if you buy a tour ticket!" I glance behind me and smile as he shakes his head and laughs. A small moment of happiness before he's interrupted by that same whirlwind of emotion and his face is blank again.
The south west corner of the terrace is probably my favourite spot. A plush teal sofa in the nook of the corner, with a fire pit and hot tub to one side. Each sunset is unique and utterly breath taking. I take a seat right in the corner and bring my legs up to a comfortable position. I top up my champers and rest it on the tiled flooring whilst Finnick gets into a similar position in front of me.
"I might as well be civilised now," he says, swapping his empty bottle he got through very quickly for my full one and pours himself a glass.
"Are you not the slightest bit tipsy after all of that?"
"Not really. I'm sort of used to copious amounts of champagne now. But if you were to give me a glass of liquor, I'd be completely fucked," he smiles, accentuating the dimples in his cheeks.
"I'll bear that in mind. Shall we toast?"
"To… Dreams becoming reality." Our glasses clink together and we both take a conversative sip. "I can't say I've done this before; I don't really know what to say."
"Well… Let's start completely afresh and I'm sure the conversation will flow very naturally. Hello, my name is Venus."
"It really is Venus? That wasn't a lie?"
"I never had a reason to lie."
"I could've used it to find you again."
"Venus is a pretty common name around here," I shrug. "Say if you were to try and find me, all you had was a first name and you would have struggled because you would be looking for the Venus from that night in every Venus you met and you wouldn't have found me because they weren't me. Did you? Try to find me?"
"Of course, I did." The certainty of his response surprises me. I lean in a little, listening intently. "At that point in my life, you were the only person I felt like I ever had a connection with. Yes, I said I would treasure it as a memorable night that I would never forget, but I wanted more memorable nights. And you're right. Every time I met someone with your name, I hoped that beneath the wigs and make up and garish costumes, there was that same down to earth blonde with brown eyes behind it all. Obviously, I never found you, and given that no one else knew I was at that party or knew that there even was a party and the party itself not making sense, I put you down to a figment of a drug induced dream."
"I don't even know what drug could induce such a hallucination. Surely your joints and muscles were aching and there were scratch marks all over your back?"
A hint of red tints his cheeks and Finnick has another drink before replying.
"Like I said: drugs," he shrugs. "There was, is, one thing that confirmed it, and whenever I thought about how it confirmed it, I just denied it."
"What is it?"
"I… I have what is essentially a tattoo of your lips…" He whistles and points to his crotch. "Down there."
"On your…?!"
"No!" He laughs and his face fully flushes red. "No, not that. Near it, though."
"Oh shit; I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault. Well, it is, but it's not intentional," he smiles faintly and looks out over the balcony edge. His jaw pulsates; he's deep in thought again.
"Say whatever's on your mind, Finn," I say quietly.
"Enough about me; I want to know your story," he says, turning back to me and smiling. I sense that he's holding back exactly what's on his mind.
"Where do I begin? When we met, I had just landed this internship in muttation development after graduating with the highest honours for genetics."
"So, the science teacher had a lasting effect on you then?" he says with a raised eyebrow. It's my turn for my cheeks to flush red and I smile.
"Well, science is sexy and I'm a sexy person. If anyone can make a lab coat look good, it's me." I inhale from my NicStick and offer it to him as I exhale. He takes a deep drag and I continue. "So yes, all those extra tuition sessions I had with him had a lasting effect because it turns out I'm actually pretty fucking good at science. I wasn't an intern for long. I made an impression and within eighteen months, I was heading the department."
"Wait… Are you… Venus Evander?"
"As I live and breathe," I say with a wink.
"You've been under my nose for years," he says quietly, brow furrowed. "I never for one second thought that the elusive genetic scientist I had heard so much about was… you."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know much about what goes on behind the scenes. Gamemakers usually get all the limelight, don't they? They're the ones who get interviewed and plastered over the screens. But I have heard of you through the grapevine. The chatter was as if you were a solid pillar of the Games for many years, like you've always been there and there's never been anyone else. I just naturally assumed Venus Evander was a middle-aged woman."
"I made an impression," I say with a shrug. "Any previous work by previous scientists seemed redundant after all the things I did in a short space of time."
"At such a young age as well, that's impressive. Just a shame it's for creatures that aid in the killing of innocent children every year."
"Don't say it like that," I sigh. "That side of things is a very small side of what I do. It's the price I pay to do the work I actually want to do, which is research on genetic conditions with the view to develop cures and treatments."
"It's a pretty high price to pay."
"Do I really come across as a typical Capitol woman that can't get enough of this? I go to the parties because I can't resist dressing up and getting off my face. I do my job because I'm a fucking nerd that loves science. I haven't watched the Games properly since I was about fifteen years old; I only watch enough to keep up with the general chit chat. I live my life on my terms in a city where I would be considered a rebel. You said it yourself that night. I'm not like them."
"You're right," Finnick sighs. "I'm sorry. I just… A lot has happened since then. I come here every year and watch 23 kids get slaughtered for sport. I do everything I can to make sure the ones I mentor have a fighting chance of winning and yet I know that either one or both won't come home and if one does come home, they'll never escape it because they relive the trauma every year when they're dragged here to mentor whilst trying to get back to some semblance of normal life."
"I know, and I can't imagine how that must feel and I never will. I recognise I'm extremely privileged and I guess the massive penthouse and the fee I paid to see you doesn't help with the image of my privilege."
"Wait… So you did actually pay Snow?" Finnick leans forward a little, brow furrowed.
"Well… Yeah. You didn't know?" He shakes his head slowly. "But he had to tell you; I paid for a day."
"A day?!"
"Yeah, a whole 24 hours!"
"Holy fucking shit, V!" He laughs in disbelief. "You really are loaded. If you're bored of your money, give it to me, I know of so many better ways to use it."
"Can we back up for a second: if you didn't know you were meant to be here for a day, what did you think was going to happen when you turned up?"
"I was told I was meeting with a potential sponsor that was impressed with Marina. Our escort said it might lead to going out for dinner with other sponsors but that was it. I didn't clock this was a, ya know, client meeting until you said the magic words."
"Down to business," I smirk. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I asked for a fake name to be used but that was it. I half expected you to bring an overnight bag."
"I hope you've got a spare toothbrush," he smirks.
"You don't have to stay, by the way," I say, reaching forward and resting my hand on his thigh. He glances down and back up again. I swallow hard and quickly withdraw, grabbing the bottle of champagne and topping my glass up. He offers his glass to me and I top his up too. Fuck, my mouth's gone dry.
"I do," he says quietly. "If I leave before the times up, I'll get punished. If you want to release me early, you'll have to phone the number on the card you were given."
"Well, if you want to go, please don't feel obliged to stay. I'll call. I'm sorry. I didn't know that was how this works."
"You mean to say you've never placed an order with Snow's Slut Service LTD before? You have much to learn!" Finnick smiles as his lips meet the champagne glass and he takes a long drink. His face changes from the dimpled grin to serious deep thought in a matter of seconds. I breathe deep and prepare myself for the question I know he's going to ask. "Why now, V? I made peace with myself a while ago about what happened that night, why it happened, if it happened. And you're clearly influential. It would've been far easier for you to find me than me finding you. You wouldn't even have had to go through Snow. Could've made some bull shit excuse to come to 4 for research. Why now?"
I slowly sip the remainder of my champagne. Now I'm the one with the serious thoughtful look on their face.
"You're right. I could've. I was like you in many respects. I woke up the next day and I couldn't stop thinking about you. For the first time in a long time, I was the real me. Sure, I was wearing a mask, but I didn't have my Capitol mask on and it was truly liberating. I know I said I wanted it to be this magical mythical night that you'd never forget and nothing more, but I longed to have that connection again, that connection with you. At the time, I didn't have the resources to make contact. I had spent a good chunk of my savings on the gown I wore and I was still a nobody in relation to the rest of Capitol society. By the time I had the resources, I, like you, had made peace with that night."
"Until now…" he says quietly.
I nodded and began to recount the series of fateful events that brought it all up to the surface and led us to now: the intern who reminded me so much of myself with the rumours of a euphoric party shrouded in mystery, the mask that was buried deep within the vault of my wardrobe making an unexpected appearance and the sign in the form of a sign.
"I do look pretty good in those shorts, to be fair," he chuckles. "Surely you've seen my face in magazines and on television. Wouldn't that have made an impression?"
"Well clearly not," I say, finishing off the bottle of champagne between the two glasses. I take a big gulp, needing it after all the talking I had just done. I instantly felt lighter, largely due to the alcohol and constant nicotine supply. Getting all of this off my chest might play a part as well. "Sure, you're often in the media for various reasons, but that's all out of context, just a blur in the rest of the general hubbub. The buzz of rumours was the largest trigger and everything else was supplementary."
"Did you want some more?" Finnick gestures to my empty glass with his own.
"Oh, sure. Do you? I'll get another bottle."
"No, it's fine. I'll get it. I know where the kitchen is and I can work those machines. It's the least I can do."
"You're not going to leave, are you?"
"Fuck no. There's still much to discuss. Plus, I'm dying to see the sunset from up here. I don't quite get the same view from the fourth floor of the Training Centre," he smiles as he gets up and makes his way back round the terrace.
I breathe in deep and look out over the view. The sun's getting low in the sky and I can see orangey red hues in the few clouds. Fuck's sake, I must've looked so cringey there. 'You're not going to leave, are you?' I know this whole wild ride started with an incredible night of the best sex I've ever had, but it was more than that. In my opinion, this has been going well so far, but I feel like I've just degraded the worth of it all with my desperate plea, a reminder that the clock is ticking and there's a possibility that I could demand sex at any point. I hope he didn't see it like that.
"There we go," Finnick says, snapping me out of my deep thought. He sits down in front of me again, bottle in hand.
"You could've got that opened for you."
"I like popping them myself," he says, pulling back the gold foil and metal clasp from the cork.
"Be careful; I quite like having both eyes."
He holds the bottle firmly and angles it towards the edge of the terrace. His thumbs gently push the cork up and I squeal at the loud pop that comes from the bottle.
"So tell me: how did you wrangle a meeting with Snow?" he asks as he pours another glass for me.
"That also seemed like fate. He hosts a dinner party for all us behind the scenes staff before the Games to reward us for all our work. I've met him a few times in the past and exchanged small talk. Whenever he spoke, my mind just thought 'pimp pimp pimp," I laugh, and Finnick chuckles slightly as well before sipping from his glass. "We started talking about what my team had planned for this year and the conversation flowed to us talking about previous Games and the Victors from them. When we landed on you, I said how you were my favourite. Well, that was it. His eyes instantly lit up and he said he could hook me up with a private meeting with my favourite Victor. And because of the Games coming up, I wouldn't have to wait long."
"That easy, huh? Maybe fate is real," he says with a shrug. "So, you've got me, and you've got me for a long time as well. What exactly did you want to happen when I got here?" I feel the heat begin to rise in my cheeks and I look over the balcony edge to try and hide it. "Come on, V, there's no need to be coy with me." He gently takes my chin and angles me back to face him. "After all those signs, I completely understand if you wanted another unforgettable night. You have paid for it, after all."
I swallow hard at his purring words and feel my insides tighten and relax, twisting in knots repeatedly. I'm not entirely sure if that was a little flirt from him or if it was a little dig that I had for all intensive purposes paid to have sex with him. Or maybe it was a test to see if that's all I want from him. I'm not going to play games: time to be completely honest.
"It felt like the universe was telling me I needed to see you again," I reply. "Maybe because it would mean I could be my true self once again, or maybe…"
"Maybe what?"
"Maybe… to see to see if what that night was for was true."
"What… What do you mean?"
"The Capitol funded orgy we went to was… a match making night."
"A… What?" He leans back in disbelief, running a hand through his hair. "That doesn't make sense no matter what way you look at it."
"A lot of things don't make sense. You had to kill kids to be alive and you're a prostitute against your will."
He sighs heavily and runs his hand though his hair again, his jaw pulsating like crazy.
"But you said it was just a sex party? You said you knew what it was and you said it was a sex party."
"That's the only lie from that night, I swear. I couldn't tell you what it was all about because it would sound fucking crazy when you've just met me."
"Why would they do that? How do they do that?" he says quietly.
"I don't have any proof; all the things I know about that party are from rumours. But everything that happened and good old fashioned gut intuition tells me that it's true. They bring together a group of young adults they know are compatible, who have the potential to do great things together, and give them a magical night when they wouldn't normally meet."
"Why would I want to do great things for them? This isn't my world, V." His voice is filled with anger and sorrow.
"This isn't my world either Finnick. Here, right now as you see me, is me. Maybe they knew I was going to be something special because I worked hard to get to the University and onto the intern programme and having someone by my side would make me even stronger and I guess that someone is a man from the Districts, is you."
"Say you are right, that that whole night was a matchmaking night. What's with the masks? Why would they want us to be anonymous if they want to create power couples?"
"There's something about mystery that's alluring. That instant connection you feel when you see someone and your eyes meet even though you can't see them fully. It leaves a lasting impression; makes you want them so much more."
"You said that… That night…" he says quietly.
"You remembered that?"
"Can you call that number please?" He says as he hastily gets up.
"Finnick, please."
"If you really aren't like the rest of them like you say you are, then you'll stay true to your word and let me go because I asked," he says, his words slow and calculating and painful to the core.
He necks the rest of the champagne and storms off. I hear the distant sound of glass smashing.
"Fuck!" I groan, scraping my nails against my scalp in frustration. I sit alone and wallow in a pit of regret. I shouldn't have done this. I let my heart rule my head, thinking that the stars were guiding me to true happiness with their signs and it was all meant to be. How childish.
The remains of glass are nowhere to be seen as I make my way back inside. He sits on the sofa, his leg twitching and head in his hands. I can't imagine what's going through his mind right now. I want to make it right, but saying anything to him will only make it worse. There's only one way to make it right. My phone and the card aren't hard to find and I dial the number.
"Hello?" There's no reply. I turn the card in my fingers and press my lips together. "I uh… Mr Odair can leave now."
The line cuts out and like a slow-motion scene in a film, I hear his footsteps echo on the marble as I lower the phone.
"Finnick, please," I plead, chasing after him as he swiftly opens the door and slams it behind him.
I rest my back to the wall and slump down to the floor. I feel the eyes of my two Avoxes either side of me and I sigh.
"You can go now. Don't come back for a while; I can take it from here," I mumble. I hear the door open and softly close again as they disappear to their separate apartment. I would never actually want a silent slave, but they came with the apartment and releasing them would've meant execution or being placed in a less than favourable house, so I bought an apartment in the building for them and only ask the bare minimum of them.
Of course, I'm thinking of my Avoxes now. It's a distraction from the replays I have racing through my head, thinking of all the different things I could've said, imagining how things would've panned out if I had said them instead of what I did. I hurt him with the truth. I should've lied; just said I wanted to see him for old times sake. And by hurting him, I've hurt myself.
I gather my thoughts and decide to take them back outside and numb them in the beautiful sunset. I change the cartridge in my NicStick to something stronger. Inside it is a chemical that's found in a plant that's grown in 11 and I've heard the locals smoke the pungent-smelling leaves wrapped in paper. By the time it's shipped here, the plant is refined so that only the drug remains: a purer and cleaner way of getting high. And vanilla flavoured.
The bottle of champagne and glass are still where I left them. I draw inspiration from my guest earlier and start drinking from the bottle. Fuck the glass. The cold bubbles refresh my parched mouth and I curl up to the corner, looking out to the sunset. As the THC hits my system, the lights of the city below blur into the blazing reds and oranges in the sky. Every cell in my body slows down and relaxes. I am calm. I am at one with the world. My skin feels alive and yet dead at the same time. I go to take another drag, but decide against it. I don't want to fall asleep out here. I want to take it all in and watch day turn into night.
"You were right, it truly is breath taking up here."
The sudden scare jolts me back down to earth and I turn to the familiar voice. Hands in pockets, brow furrowed, jaw clenching and looking straight at me, locked in a heated gaze.
"Finnick. How… How did you get back in?"
"One of your Avoxes was outside the door," he says bluntly.
"Finnick, I'm so sorry." I fumble to my feet, smoothing my dress out and stepping towards him. "I was completely out of line. I shouldn't have said what I did but I just wanted to be honest. I was romanticising and-"
He takes me by the face with both hands and presses his lips to mine. My eyes roll back into their sockets and I'm transported back to that night four years ago, his lips igniting the primal desire and hunger I have for him. I fling my arms around his neck and he brings me closer to him, pressing lightly on the small of my back. Our kisses become frantic and passionate, exploring each other's mouths with our tongues with a lustful familiarity. I bite gently on his bottom lip and a low growl escapes his mouth.
I tug at the hair at the bottom of his neck and he grips my ass tight with both hands, picking me up in one swift movement. My legs wrap tight around his waist and my arms tighten on his neck as he walks me closer to the sofa, setting me down in the corner of the teal velvet. He takes a step back and takes in the view, my legs slightly apart, the red silk dress riding up my thighs, panting heavily.
"Fuck…" He says breathlessly, dropping to his knees in front of me. I feel my insides twitch in anticipation at what I think is about to happen. He takes his watch off and slips it in his blazer pocket before flinging it off and onto the sofa. He carefully removes my sandals, putting them to one side, and massages my ankles with his thumbs, trailing delicate sensuous kisses up from my foot, to my calves, to my knees, to the inner of my thighs, getting closer and closer, and…
I let out a groan of frustration as he stops just before my underwear and starts again on my other foot, grazing his lips over my smooth legs and firmly moving his hands up. I feel his fingers latch up into the fabric of my underwear and he looks up at me, his jade eyes twinkling in the fire of the sunset. I nod, granting him consent to pull them down. In one swift movement, my underwear is removed and flung to the side. Legs spread wide, completely open to him, he takes in the view before him, licking his lips. I feel his cool breath on my sweet pleasure spot. The teasing drives me crazy and I feel my muscles in my leg start to twitch in expectation. I pout and plead with my eyes and quiet whimpers. His hands grip tight onto the top of my thighs, pushing my legs open even more and buries his head between my thighs.
He lightly runs his tongue over the wet folds of sensitive skin, sending electric shivers through me and a euphoric moan fills the air. His masterful tongue flicks and swirls and circles, taking me to cloud nine. I grip onto the teal velvet for some release as the pleasure begins to build with the increasing rhythm of his tongue. He glances up at me, burning with desire in the orange sunset as he slows down, pressing his tongue flat and hard against me. I run my hand through his hair and push him down closer, feeling his lips form a smile against my skin. I dig my nails into his scalp and tug on his hair. Holy fuck! He slides a finger inside me with ease and I feel it press against my sweet pleasure spot.
"Finnick… I… I'm close!" I exclaim, breathlessly. My legs tremble as I'm edged closer to climax. His finger massages gently inside me as his tongue continues to lick and swirl. His nails dig deeper into my thigh and I exclaim loud, my body shuddering and convulsing as the tension releases. My body alights and crumbles as the orgasm surges through each cell in my body. Back arched and breathless, I slump back into sofa. My insides twitch as he removes his finger and sucks my juices from it.
"Holy fuck," I whisper, my mouth dry. His kisses my thigh and a charming yet cheeky smile plays on his lips as he rests his head on my thigh.
"Enjoy that, did we?"
"Just a bit," I smirk, stroking his face lightly. He kisses my fingers.
"This is such a perfect view," he says quietly. "Made even better by the sunset, of course."
"I can think of a better view," I say with a glint of desire in my eyes that sparks his own desire. I tug on his chin and he comes up to me, our lips touching and the salty yet delicious taste of my juices fills my mouth as he flicks his tongue on mine.
Finnick sits down next to me and I straddle him, our lips never parting. I feel the bulge of his erection press against my sensitive spot. I run my hands up his chest and down over the buttons of his shirt, undoing each one and pushing the shirt off him. Gripping tight onto my bare buttocks, he sinks his teeth into my bottom lip, making me groan in satisfaction. I kiss from his lips to his cheeks to his neck, licking up to his ears and nibbling on his lobes. He shudders and the bulge in his pants twitches against me.
"Enjoy that, did we?" I whisper seductively in his ear, my cool breath shrouding the sensitive skin. He moans wildly, his fingers digging deeper into my behind. I trail my kissers lower as I fumble to undo his belt. He takes control and does it for me, shuffling his pants to his ankles and kicking off his shoes and socks as I kiss over the contours of his muscles. I go to my knees and look up at him, watching his chest rise and fall rapidly. He tilts his head and takes my head in his hand, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. I kiss it delicately before taking it in my mouth and sucking on it hard. He bites his bottom lip and groans, the bulge in his boxers twitching again. My lips press against his thigh and I kiss up to his boxers, tugging at the elastic waistband. He takes the hint and helps me pull them down, his erection springing out. He was right. A ruby red stain in the shape of a pair of luscious lips tattooed onto his crotch, fresh as the day it was first planted.
With the tip of my tongue, I lick slowly up the shaft and wrap my lips around him, taking him in slowly, inch by inch. A delightful sigh escapes his mouth and I glance up, watching him look up to the multicoloured sky. His fingers entwine with my blonde locks as my head bobs up and down, smothering him with my tongue. Fuck, his moans turn me on so much, I can't help but reach down and play with myself as I suck. I feel the tip press against the back of my throat as I press my nose against his crotch.
"Holy fucking shit, Venus!" Finnick moans, twitching in my mouth, grabbing my hair tighter. The way he moans my name sends shivers through me and I am determined to make him say it again. I push myself harder and faster, my mouth as wet and wanting as the folds between my legs. I slow down and pull back, looking up at him as a tear rolls down my face. He wipes it away with his thumb and smiles as he bites his bottom lip, the dimples sending flutters through me. "I need you, Venus Evander."
I need you, too.
He tugs on my hand and I indulge him, getting back to my feet and straddling him. I fumble to find the right position and his hands find the zip on the back of my dress. Within seconds, my dress and bra are flung to the side and my naked chest presses against his. I hold onto his neck as I lift my buttocks up, his hands guiding me back down. Connected in mind, spirit and now body, his erection slowly stretches and fills me. My ears are saturated with his moans and his with mine. Our hips move together with a euphoric synchronicity, every bounce sending waves of bliss through my body. I run my hands up his toned back and dig my nails deep into his flesh. His pace picks up, his hips meeting mine harder and harder, making sure he hits that sweet spot deep inside me. My heart beats furiously in my chest, like it's going to explode.
I lean back to take in the exquisite view. The Capitol sunset ignites both our bodies and the passion between us, and his emerald eyes are flamed with ecstasy. My hips slow, teasing him in and out of me gently. He puts his fingers to my mouth and I lick them slowly, seductively, making him groan. I can still taste myself on them and the erotic taste makes my insides twitch around him. His wet fingers circle my sweet pleasure spot as his lips lick at my nipple, circling the brown skin and grazing over it gently. My eyes roll back into their sockets. How can I have everything and want so much more from him?
"Come for me, Venus," Finnick moans against my breasts, his fingers working their magic on the outside whilst his manhood ruins me from the inside.
"Look at me, Finnick," I say breathlessly. He angles his head up and our eyes lock in a heated gaze.
The euphoria is deeper and more vivid. I'm higher than cloud nine, feeling everything and nothing at the same time. My insides tighten around him and I explode into orgasm. His hips continue to blast into mine, his eyes never leaving mine, and he moans my name, sending aftershock waves of titillation through me.
Hot and cold, sweaty and sexy, I slowly come back to earth. The warmth of his seed drips out of me as he slowly withdraws himself, holding me in a close embrace. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him.
"I've always wanted to do that…" he mumbles against my neck. I somehow find the energy to lean back a little and look at him. His green viridescent eyes are jaded.
"What do you mean?" I say quietly.
"I've always wanted to make love." He pushes my hair back behind my ear and strokes my cheek with his thumb.
"Finnick…"
"I have a girlfriend."
"What?"
"I love her. I love her so fucking much," he says, his voice faltering. His eyes begin to well up.
"Hey, hey… It's okay…" I say reassuringly. I take his face gently in both hands and wipe any falling tears with my thumbs. He holds on tighter to me, his hand trembling on the small of my back as he plays with a lock of my hair. I am surprised by his revelation given the position we're in, but he said it himself: a lot has happened since we first met. As much as I feel a terrible guilt in my stomach and want to ask why he engaged with me physically considering his relationship status, now isn't the time. I hold on to him and comfort him, letting the tears and words flow.
"I mentored her, you know. It was the Games after we met." Instantly, I know who she is. He inhales deep, his breath hitching in his throat as he tries to contain the waterfall from his eyes. "I fell so hard as soon as she stepped up on that stage after springing forth to volunteer. She was so confident and strong, incredibly smart, gifted with a knife and net and a fantastic swimmer. She came up with this brilliant idea of flirting with the older Tributes to find out their secrets and use it against them. It was like looking at a female version of me. Crazy right?" He smiles through red eyes and trembling lips. "When the design team came in with their ideas for the parade, she laughed at them and got them to change it last minute. I'm sure even you remember that year, when 4 came out on those chariots, both of them dressed like sea gods in their skin tight costumes covered in scales. She said sex sells and it was bound to rope in the sponsors. Oh boy, did it. They loved her, threw their money at me to support her. Her training score was perfect and she was amazing in front of Caesar, wrapping him and the audience round her finger. I didn't need to mentor her much, she knew what she was doing, trained for it her whole life, but I spent as much time with her as I could because she made me feel alive and she loved it too.
"She hated it when I disappeared for client meetings and we had a heated argument the night before she went in. 'You don't care about me, you're never here when I need you, can't you go one day without getting laid', she screamed at me. It all came flooding out why I kept leaving, and still, she accepted me, held me close, like you did that night, and said when she won, we'd both be under the control of Snow, but at least we would be controlled together. She went into the Arena the next day with the hope of life with me after. All that training, all those smart ideas she had never prepared her for what happened…" Finnick trails off and I know why. He holds me tighter and I massage his wet face reassuringly, letting him know he's safe.
"It's okay, I know, you don't have to say…"
"She went through hell in that Arena," he continues, his sadness entwined with rage. "If I could go back in time, I would tell her to tone down on the flirting. Fuck, it sounds like I'm blaming her for what happened."
"No, not at all, Finn, I know what you're trying to say."
"The guy from 1 was smart. He found out how she manipulated all the guys, how she flirted with them and made promises if they did what she wanted. He was furious. He was in love with a whore, he said, and his eyes burned with rage whilst hers filled with tears. He took them out, one by one, and made her watch. 'This is what you wanted, Annie! This is why you made me fall for you!' he said, his hands soaked in the blood of the Career pack. He left the guy from 4 until last and made her watch as he took his head clean off his body. Have you seen someone get beheaded, Venus?"
"Shhh… Finnick, it's okay… I know what happened, you don-"
"Because it's fucking traumatising. I was sick watching it on a screen; can you imagine how she felt? Scared, alone, vulnerable. That was more than enough to fuck her up if she made it out of there, because let's be honest, that guy from 1 was on a roll and he was thirsty for blood. But no… He didn't kill her… He did something much worse…" His eyes are red raw from tears and still I push them all back, knowing what's coming. "The cameras cut out then. They'll show bloodbath on all its brutal glory but they won't show a barely eighteen-year-old girl being r..."
His words roar into the quiet night sky as he sobs on my shoulder, pulling me tight to him and clinging on. I hold him close, massaging his back with my thumb. He didn't need to say the word.
"Shh… It's okay," I whisper, a tear rolling down my face.
"I'm sorry, V, I'm so sorry," he sobs. There's nothing I can say, even if I knew what to say. Holding him, letting him know he's safe, is all I can do. I stroke his hair and rock gently back and forth.
The cameras never stopped rolling; only the live broadcast to the nation was cut. Every Gamemaker watched and quit once the Games were over. The Games are seen as sport and celebrated, but the R word never should be, at least the Capitol agrees on that. I never saw it, but I knew. As a woman, I just knew and it breaks my heart. I think about every time a man has violated my body, made unwanted advances on me, how it feels to have that freedom brutally taken. We are confident in our bodies, our sexuality, our sensuality, but it comes at a cost that is completely out of our control. You blame yourself, think about all the decisions you've ever made that lead to you being in that situation and what you could've done different to make sure it didn't. I understand why Finnick said what he'd tell her if he could go back in time; I've done it countless times myself. Maybe it could have made a difference, but it shouldn't have to. Me too, Annie Cresta. Me too.
Finnick's breathing slows down and he pulls back, wiping his wet face.
"Venus, I'm sorry," he says, taking both of my hands and entwining his fingers with mine.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Finn," I say quietly with a reassuring smile.
"I can't say I've ever cried after sex before," he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.
"It's fine. You're not the first man I've comforted like this before."
"Oh god, what did you do to them?" He laughs, his red eyes still full of sorrow but trying to get back to some semblance of normality. His grip tightens on my hands and I squeeze back.
"You don't wanna know," I say with a dramatic eye roll. He laughs and squeezes my hands again. He looks deep into my eyes. "Do you want a drink? Coffee, or tea, perhaps?"
"It's a little late for coffee, don't you think?"
"Well, I get the feeling we need to talk a lot more, don't you?"
His head tilts to one side and he sighs.
"Cream, not milk, and two sugar cubes. I like my coffee sweet."
"Coming right up," I say with a delicate smile. He loosens the grip on my hands and I climb off him. He gets up and stretches, allowing fresh air to enter his lungs.
"I don't suppose you've got a shirt and pants in my size in that fancy wardrobe you've got?" He says, scooping up his clothes and shoes and holding them against his bare chest.
"Sorry. The joys of living by myself: I only have clothes for me. The best I can do is a bathrobe."
"Perfect," he smiles. "I'm just… I'm not ready to put these on yet."
Despite his revelation, my insides flutter at his words. God, this is so fucked up. Only a manipulative bitch like me would still cling on to the romantic ideals I had when this day started.
I pick up my dress, underwear and shoes along with the evidence of alcohol and drugs and lead him back inside the apartment.
"You know what's funny?" He asks. I look up to him. "The first time I'm noticing you were wearing matching underwear is now they're off and bundled in your arms. Was that planned?"
His flirting takes me back a little. Is it flirting? He just bore his heart out to me about the trauma of his love and he's bringing sex back into the equation. Maybe it's a coping mechanism. My heart says something else is going on in his head.
"I wear matching undies for myself, not anyone else."
"I'm sure they looked great if I was paying attention."
"Closest bathroom is down that hall, second door on the right. Feel free to help yourself to anything in there; you'll find a bathrobe as well," I say as we get inside, swiftly changing the subject. "Here, let me hang your clothes up for you."
"Surely you've got one of them dry-cleaning machines so they'd be ready for the morning?" He asks, tilting his head and bundling his clothes in my arms. He steps back, hands on his hips.
"Sure," I reply, eyes fixed on his. He smiles before following my directions and heading down the hall.
"What the fuck is going on?" I whisper under my breath as I make my way to my bedroom. I thought a lot of things might happen once Finnick was here; what occurred tonight was the last thing I thought could've.
I hang his clothes and mine on the dry-cleaning rack I have next to my wardrobe and watch the frosted glass come forward and hide the machine away. I look into the mirror next to it briefly. Despite the crying and sweating, my make up remains flawless. The emerald silk bathrobe I usually wear hangs on the back of the chair in front of my dresser. I wrap it around me, tying a tight knot, and head back to the kitchen.
Two coffees: cream and two sugar cubes for Finnick and black no sugar for me. My stomach growls as the smell of the fresh ground beans fills my nostrils. All I've consumed today is nicotine and champagne, and as I think this, I take a deep drag from my NicStick, the cartridge changed back to raspberry. I quite enjoy cooking unlike my equivalents in Capitol society, but my hunger is demanding it be satisfied now. I flick through the fast-food options on the unit in my kitchen and settle on some breakfast food to pair with our coffees. Who says you can't have breakfast for dinner? Crispy bacon, egg and cheese bagels, various pastries and fruit are presented to me in a few minutes. I swipe away at the screen and my eyes linger on the little fish shaped rolls, tinted green from the seaweed in them. I've never tried them before, but I'm sure my guest would appreciate the little piece of home. The small loaves appear on a gold plate and I add it to the little spread I've laid out by the sofa. The rich aroma of coffee fills my noise as I sip from the hot mug.
"Oh wow…" Finnick's voice comes from the hall entrance. The redness has gone from his eyes and his skin is smooth and fresh. The white silk bathrobe is just long enough to cover his behind and is tied in a loose knot around his waist. In a way, he looks adorable. "This is quite the spread, huh?"
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starving," I say, pulling the layers of pastry apart and popping it in my mouth. He takes a seat beside me and brings his legs up to cross them, getting comfortable on the sofa.
"This is the good shit…" he says between bites of the bagel and sips of coffee, eating as if he's never eaten before.
"Credit goes to the chef," I grin, gesturing to the machine in the kitchen area with the mug in my hand.
"Bravo!" He says, mouth full and clapping his hands. I laugh as I rip another chunk of the croissant and pop it in my mouth.
"Did you make full use of what my bathroom had to offer?" I ask, sipping from my mug.
"Oh, yeah. I know my way around these bathrooms. Splash of water, a few gels and creams, and the eyedrops make a huge difference. I was tempted to grab a shower but I…" His voice trails off as his attention is caught by the little fish loaves. He sighs deep and smiles, his little dimples make a welcome reappearance. "Oh Venus…" He reaches forward and grabs one, tearing the bread apart and inhaling it deep. "I used to hate these as a kid. Found the taste really bitter and unnecessarily salty. I've got a bit of a sweet tooth, as you well know. My mother used to persuade me to eat them by saying I would be a better swimmer. Begrudgingly, I'd force it down, determined to be the swimmer she knew I could be. I've grown to enjoy them as my tastebuds matured." He rips off a bite sized chunk. "Open up."
I lean forward and open my mouth, watching him tentatively drop the bread on my tongue. It's richer and meatier than what I was expecting, with a slightly salty after taste.
"Pretty good," I smile. "I can see why you would've hated it as a kid though."
"Thank you. It's a nice touch. Very thoughtful," he says, placing his hand on my slightly exposed thigh. I swallow hard.
"Well, I… I thought it might help."
"It has. Very much so. I don't think you realise how much so."
I feel my cheeks flush red and I swallow hard. I have so many questions rattling around in my head and a horrible feeling in my gut of what he would say if I asked them. The drugs and alcohol are wearing off and won't help me now; I've got to take the sober plunge.
"Why did you come back?" I ask quietly, looking down into my mug. He squeezes my thigh a little before withdrawing it and running his hand through his hair.
"You must think I'm a complete ass hole. I really am the man whore of Panem, aren't I?" he says sarcastically.
"Don't say that…"
"No, it's true. You paid for my company, released me from the contract before anything happened, I chose to come back and I kissed you. I actively made that choice to be unfaithful. Here's a better question: why did I go?"
My eyebrow raises and my head tilts to the side. "Why did you go?"
"Because I was scared. Scared of the truth. I knew it was true and I was scared so I ran from it. Because it is true, isn't it, V? You are my match." My heart flutters at his words and I bite my bottom lip. "I paced those corridors outside, denying it over and over again, and got in the elevator to go back to the Training Centre and it dawned on me the moment the doors opened and I could see outside to the bustling street. I guess… Really… The answer to both of those questions is the same: I left because it was true and I came back because it was true. You are my match."
I inhale deep, feeling the breath shake in my throat and my heart flutter with sorrow and excitement. It had to be him, didn't it? Out of all the people in this fucked up country, it had to be the one who's miles away with a girlfriend, the one I can't have.
"I don't really know what to say," I mumble, blinking repeatedly to force the tears back.
"I love you, Venus."
"Don't Finn, please. You don't mean that." I don't have the strength to hold back the tears anymore. My voice falters with sadness mingled with anger. "You've had years with Annie and we only shared one night together. One night."
"That night, that one night, we were drawn together. You came to me and I came to you. I had the same tingles seeing you there by your window that I had when I first saw you and I still have them now. You can't say you don't feel them too. You have to otherwise you wouldn't have paid what you did to see me again. I was left with a V shaped hole in my heart when I woke up after that one night and it got filled by someone who was everything I love about you."
"But you love her! You love Annie! You can't say all of this to me and tell me you love me after telling me you love her, Finn, it's a complete mind fuck!"
"It's a mind fuck for me too! I am fully aware of the cunt I am making myself out to be right now, because I am a complete cunt! I've stayed with her, shared her trauma, the nightmares, the physical and mental suffering and carried so much fucking guilt for what she went through because I thought if I helped her through all of it as much as I could, she'd wake up and be back to the person she was, back to being like you."
"So, you stayed with her out of pity!?" I recoil in disgust, and wipe the wetness from my face. "Because you thought one day, she'd be back to being your rebound for me!?"
"No! Yes! I-" he groans and runs his hand through his hair. He sits back and sighs, staring up at the ceiling. "Yes. I guess I have."
I breathe deep and slump back into the sofa, gazing into the distance as the tears dry. It's all too much. An incredibly fucked up situation because someone somewhere is playing God with our lives. We met because they thought we would do great things together for them despite being from different worlds. He fell for an incredible girl because he chased a dream stemming from their doing. She played their Games and survived but at the cost of her mind being broken. He bears guilt for what she went through and hopes for a life with her that he wishes he could have with me.
"You'd love her if you met her," Finnick says quietly, staring numbly into the void of his thoughts. "I'm sure she'd love you, too. Why am I even thinking of that right now?"
"I shouldn't have done this. None of this would've happened and you would've been in ignorant bliss if I hadn't been selfish."
"Don't, V. Don't blame yourself; you weren't to know. I'm the ass hole here. If I was you, in your position with all the money and influence and knowledge, I would've done it as soon as I could. Don't regret it, V, please, don't regret any of it because I don't. Not for one second."
"You don't regret being unfaithful?" I say, glancing to him. His eyes meet mine briefly and he shakes his head.
"I know I'm a cunt but… seeing you there, on that terrace, with the sunset blazing behind you and those big gorgeous eyes… I just knew. It's you. It's always been you."
"We're both pretty fucked up, aren't we?" I can't help but smirk, shaking my head as I stare ahead.
"I guess we really are a match," he says, smirking as well. "I can't help how I feel, Venus. I am many things, but a liar isn't one of them."
"What happens now?"
"What do you want to happen?"
Slowly, our eyes meet, and my lips press together trying to suppress all the tingles I feel when I see those sparkling emerald eyes.
"I can't… We can't…"
"Why not?"
"It's not right, Finn. I've done some fucked up things in my past, as you well and truly know, but I can't. I'd be hurting myself, you, and a woman who's back home in 4 waiting for you."
"What if I told her?"
"And say what exactly?"
"Everything. Annie is traumatised but she isn't stupid. She knows she isn't the person she once was and she hates that. There's a part of me that thinks she knows that I've stayed with her out of loyalty and guilt. I genuinely think she'd be completely understanding."
"Would you be understanding if the tables were turned? If it was her telling you that she was in love with this man in the Capitol that gives her everything you can't?"
"I would actually, because I see the pain in her eyes every time I see her. I can't do all the things I can with you with her. I can't tell her all the things that fuck me up because it triggers her and I've never been intimate with her. Why do you think I said I've always wanted to make love?"
"It isn't all about sex, Finn."
"I know it's not, but considering sex is all I do it would be nice to actually do it with someone I care about. Fuck, we don't even have a normal relationship even without all of that. I just can't have all the normal things that come with a relationship that I want so badly."
"You can't have them with me either."
"Can't have them with anyone," he says with a smirk. "Maybe with everything that's happening, things will change and I'll finally be happy."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you feel it?" he leans in closer to me and rests his hand on my bare thigh. His sad eyes become electric with hope.
"Feel what?"
"The revolution is coming, Venus. That pair from 12 showed some balls with their display at the parade and the Districts are buzzing."
"All because they held hands?"
"Ah, you wouldn't get it. Even though the Tributes often work together in the Arena, they know they're doing it for themselves. They talk about themselves in the interviews and are quite solitary. But these two, they came out from the bat as a team, showing the country that they're in this together no matter what the Capitol throws at them. And because the girl volunteered and they both come from 12, it just stirs it up even more."
"What's coming, Finn?"
"I don't know. I can't say yet. But I feel it. I know it. This year will be unlike any other. A storm is definitely coming. And maybe… At the end of it…"
"Please don't give me false hope."
"It's not false. It's real and raw and completely true," he says, tilting his head and squeezing my thigh again. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too." I can't believe the words left my mouth and despite the guilt, I don't regret them. I can't lie to him. It's true: it's always been him.
His eyes flicker from mine to my lips and he leans forward to kiss me.
"Wait… I'm sorry." He stops, inches from my face. He swallows hard, his cool breath tingling over my lips. "I need reassurance that we're not complete cunts for doing this."
"Oh, we are completely fucked up cunts," he murmurs, his jaw clenching ever so slightly. The tension is unbearable. "But I can't help how I feel. I want you."
"I want you, too. But…"
"But…" Is his face even closer now?
"Promise me that you'll tell her."
"With all my heart, Venus, I promise."
We cup each other's faces and my tongue delves deep into his mouth as the fireworks explode in my head. His slow, passionate kisses reignite my desire for him and I moan quietly against his lips. He pushes a lock of my hair back behind my ear and I relax back into the couch, bringing him back with me. I feel his hand rest delicately on my thigh, his fingers tickling up the silk robe and teasing the tops of my legs. Quiet whimpering moans vibrate in my throat and my insides contract and relax in anticipation. The teasing drives me crazy. My hips buck, allowing him access to my sweet pleasure spot. I feel him smile against my lips and my eyes flutter open, meeting his as his fingers brush over the wet folds of skin between my legs.
"See what you do to me," I moan, biting my bottom lip.
"Mmm I can feel it," he moans against my lips, the faint stubble on his chin grazing on my skin. With his free hand, he tugs on the satin rope around my waist and the emerald fabric floats off my smooth skin, my nipples hardening at the sensation. He leans back a little, taking in the magnificent site of my naked body, my chest rising and falling rapidly as pleasurable moans fill the air. My body becomes weak and my legs tremble from the euphoria building between them.
"I've got to see this again," he purrs. In a blink of an eye, Finnick is kneeling in front of me, resting his head on my thigh. His fingers rub and circle my sweet pleasure spot, the pleasure building inside of me. He looks between me and my legs.
"Holy, sweet, fuck!" I cry out, spreading my legs wider as I tumble and explode into climax. Panting and breathless, I watch him lick up the wetness and I shudder from the sensitivity.
"I don't think I could ever get bored of that," he says, licking his lips. He kisses my thigh before resting his head on it, looking between me and my wide-open legs.
"Me either," I say with a smirk on my face. "Feel free to do that again whenever you want."
"Oh, I will. Don't you worry. I'm going to be making up for a lot of lost time."
"As will I," I smile. "The only thing is, I can do this all night. Can you?"
"You doubt me?" he withdraws, looking fake offended.
"We'll just have to put it to the test, eh?"
"Mmm, and as a scientist, you must love experimenting."
"It's literally all I do every day. Hey… I've got an idea…"
"Oh?"
"Yeah… You sit down. Get comfy. I'll be five minutes."
I lean forward and peck him on the nose before grabbing my bathrobe. He spanks me lightly on my buttocks as I disappear down the hall, my giggles echoing throughout the apartment.
"Five minutes, V!" he calls out. "I'm timing you!"
I hang my bathrobe on the back of my dresser chair and I illuminate the wardrobe panel, tapping in a small selection of items. Lab coat, thick black frames, all in one black lace lingerie and black heels. As the wardrobe processes my selection, I put my hair up in a clip and apply some red lipstick. The frosted glass opens and my eyes light up. I've always wanted to do this; I've just never had anyone I've wanted to do it for. I pull the lingerie up over my naked body and admire myself in the mirror as I adjust myself. The lace hugs my curves in all the right places, accentuating my breasts, hips and waist. I can't imagine this staying on for long. I slip on the heels and the lab coat and add the finishing touch of the glasses. Oh yeah, that's one sexy scientist.
The heels echo down the hall as I approach him. Fuck, it's hot in this lab coat. Or maybe I'm just nervous. I just want this to be another unforgettable perfect night. He's sat on the sofa, finishing off a clementine and wiping the zesty juice from his lips.
"Well, that was definitely longer than five…" He trails off as his eyes meet mine, jaw dropping to the floor. His eyes dance all over me, not knowing where to look. He swallows hard and rubs his jaw. "I wanna rip all that off you now and also never stop looking at you."
I smile and step towards him, his eyes lingering on my legs and hips as my heels echo.
"I told you science is sexy," I say with a seductive glint in my eye and smile on my lips.
"So fucking sexy. I'd let you experiment on me all day."
"How about a lesson first?"
"Oh god yes. Teach me everything, Miss Evander."
"I may be a geneticist, but I am certainly feeling some chemistry here."
A smile spreads across his face as his teeth sink into his bottom lip.
"Fuck me, how can these God-awful puns be so arousing?" he chuckles. He reaches forward and takes my hand, pulling me closer to him. His fingers delicately tingle over the sides of my thighs, sending electric tickles through my veins.
"In classic Venus fashion, I don't really know where I was going with this when I had this idea but I wanted to do it."
"Carry on with the science talk, funny or not. I want to hear more."
The tickling evolves to massaging, his hands pressing against my thighs and working their way up and down. The tips of his fingers graze against the lace, teasing their way beneath the fabric and soon withdrawing. He nuzzles his face against my thigh and breathes deep. My lips press together and I sigh at the delicious sight.
"I'm glad you like science, because I've had my ion you for a while," I say with a wink. He smiles as he catches my eye. "Get it. Ion. Like a charged particle."
"Oh, I got it," he says, chuckling to himself. He kisses the inside of my thigh and my insides contract. Fuck, he makes me melt. "Tell me more. Get really technical with me."
"Hmm… How about… Ah!" Finnick takes my leg and hitches it up to rest on the sofa. I almost lose my balance in the heels but steady myself by holding his head. He is perfect hip height, looking straight at the lace-concealed organs that give me such euphoria.
"Go on." He says, running a finger along the lace trim, making me whimper. "Ignore me."
"Why don't we get between my beta-pleated sheets so I can get to know your alpha-helix," I reply slowly. He pushes the lace to one side, his cool breath tingling over my sweet pleasure spot.
"Ooo, that sounds kinky," he chuckles. "What does that mean? Tell me, Venus."
"Well, they're both secondary protein stru- OHH!" I hold tight onto his head and buck my hips closer to his mouth as my body floods with pure ecstasy that his mouth is giving me.
"Carry on, V," he says against the wet folds between my legs. "Tell me everything." I inhale deep and try to compose myself whilst my body fights back and demands to collapse and let him have his way with me. His tongue flicks and swirls, dancing along in a rhythm that is leading me straight to orgasm.
"They are secondary protein structures that are formed due to the bonding between the primary amino acid sequence," I say slowly with small quiet whimpering moans. "Hydrogen bonds form between the oxygen atom of one amino acid and a hydrogen atom of another. Depending on the primary sequence dictates whether the secondary structure will be an alpha-hel- Holy fuck!" His fingers slide inside of me with ease and I feel him massage against my sweet pleasure spot, each movement making me weaker as my body quivers from sheer delight. His eyes open briefly and lock with mine, the jade sparkles tipping me over the edge. He groans into my flesh and holds me tight, steadying me as I fall into the darkness of climax. Eyelashes fluttering, head thrown back, heart racing and gasping his name. I swallow hard, my mouth dry. I glance down and catch a glimpse of the grin spread across his face.
"Fuck," I laugh, still breathless and swimming in pure sexual energy. His fingers ease out of me and I relax my leg off the couch, somehow finding the balance in the heels.
"Fuck indeed," he chuckles, wiping his mouth. "Have you done that before?"
"Done what?"
"Squirted."
"What?" I feel the heat begin to rise in my cheeks and my eyes dart to the sparkles of wetness on the couch, floor and his body.
"Hey, it's okay. It isn't a bad thing at all. It's completely natural and really fucking hot."
"Is it? I mean… You know what it is, right?"
"Of course. And yet here I am, with an absolute raging erection that is just desperate to be inside you."
His words send a veil of desire over me and all the energy I had lost comes flooding back to me. My teeth sink into my bottom lip and I glance to the tent that has formed beneath his robe. I tug the fabric to one side, and there it is.
"No more couch antics," I purr. "Let's go back to where it started."
He raises an eyebrow and tilts his head to one side. I slowly turn and start to make my way towards my bedroom. I fling the glasses off to one side, hearing the plastic clatter on the marble, and slip the lab coat off, throwing it to the other side. I reach up and release my hair from the clip, tossing that and shaking the long bouncy curls out. I turn around and smile, kicking the heels to one side. He is frozen on the sofa, eyes wide in awe from my teasing display of undressing.
"Well, aren't you coming?" I say with a seductive smile, tugging the lace straps off my shoulders.
"Oh no, don't you dare; I'm taking that off you!"
He sprints off the sofa towards me and scoops me up in his arms, making me squeal with laughter. Cradled in his arms, I press my lips together and sigh, my heart fluttering in my chest. This is going to be another unforgettable night and that's all it will be, yet I can't help romanticising a future, fantasy images of us together flooding my mind whilst I haven't even said good bye to him yet. I close my eyes and block out the thought of the pain that will come once the sun comes up.
"I take it this is you?" He says, peering into one of the bedrooms.
"It is indeed. You didn't pay for the tour earlier so I'm impressed."
Finnick nudges the door open wider with his elbow and looks around the room, now lit by the moon.
"Simple… Clean… Nice, I like it."
"Why thank you very much. There's a door that leads out to the terrace there. Excellent views of the sunrise."
"I look forward to seeing it," he smiles, pecking my forehead delicately. He gently sets me down on the end of the bed and looks down at me, cupping my face in his hand. "Do you still want this? Want me? After everything we've both said and done?"
I rest my hand on his and massage my thumb over his knuckles, nuzzling into his hand.
"I've never wanted anything or anyone like how I want you," I say quietly. His brow furrows and he sighs deep. "What about you? Do you still want this?"
"Venus, I don't want this night to end," he mumbles.
"It's only just begun," I reply, echoing his words from years ago. His eyes light up in the darkness as he remembers and he smiles, the adorable dimples making a welcome change from his frown.
He takes his hand from my face and unties the silk robe from his waist. I lean back and enjoy the view of him undressing, the pearlescent fabric slipping elegantly off his tall muscular frame. He kneels in front of me and runs his hands up my thighs, over my arms and up to my shoulders. He pulls on each of the lace straps, bringing the lingerie down to my waist.
"I haven't given these much attention, have I?" he says, brushing his thumb over my nipples. I press my lips together and hold in the moans, watching them get harder under his touch.
"You've given me more than enough attention tonight," I reply, my voice faltering slightly. "Four orgasms to your one. I owe you."
"Don't be silly. Foreplay is probably the best part and I love knowing that I'm making you feel so amazing. Your moans are like a drug to me and just feeling how wet you get, how your body loses control when you come, is all that I want and need."
"But isn't that what you do with your clients? Serve to please them?"
"It's different," he sighs. "I'm here because I want to be. I'm doing this because I want to. That is just sex. This… This is love."
"And you…"
"Oh, Venus, I've said it once and I'll say it a thousand times, however many times you need to hear it. Since the night you let me pour my heart out to you, revealed my deepest darkest secrets and you tattooed me with your kiss, it's you. It's always been you. I love you."
His words send flutters through me and I lean in, kissing his lips with all the raw passion I have for him. I pull back and rest my head on his, my eyes beginning to well.
"I love you too," I whisper against his lips as a single tear rolls down my cheek. His brow furrows and he wipes it away with his thumb.
"That's better," Finnick whispers back, a faint smile resting on his lips.
My lips crash onto his and I fling my arms around his neck, holding onto him and never wanting to let go. His tongue tastes of me with a hint of him: completely erotic and absolutely delicious. The thought makes me groan and he smiles against my lips. He takes the small of my back and lifts me up with ease, our lips never parting, and sets me down on the pillows. His fingers latch onto the lace around my waist and he frantically pulls the lingerie off me, settling between my open legs. A pleasurable sigh escapes my lips and my eyes roll back into their sockets as I feel his manhood slowly fill me, our two bodies becoming one.
"Jesus," he groans against my ear.
"It's Venus, actually," I smirk.
"God, you know I'll be moaning your name and only your name," he mumbles against the delicate skin of my neck, the stubble on his chin grazing me.
His hips rock against mine, slowly at first, feeling every inch inside me, sending magical waves of pleasure through my body. I want more, so much more. I run my hands up his toned back and dig my nails deep into his flesh, moaning quietly into his ear. Our hips collide, harder, more sensual, hitting that sweet spot deep inside me. My body flushes crimson as my heart beats furiously in my chest. His pace slows, teasing my insides with each slight movement he makes. He holds himself up and gazes deep into my eyes, his thumb massaging my face.
"I wanted to see your face so badly that night," he says quietly.
"Does it live up to your imagination?" I sigh, gently meeting his hips with mine slowly.
"Oh, it does more than that. You're an absolute goddess. So beautiful. Inside and out."
"And you know my insides are good." Right on cue, I contract around his erection, watching his teeth sink into his bottom lip and a groan escape them.
"Fuck," he moans. "So tight."
He grips my thighs and pushes them back, burying himself deeper inside me. Holy fucking shit! The euphoria is deeper and more vivid and I climb higher than I ever have, feeling everything and nothing. I grab at the sheets, my thighs, my breasts and swear from this paradise his body gives me. His grip on my thighs tighten and I can feel him twitch inside of me. Yes, Finnick, feel everything you've made me feel and more. His eyes lock with mine and his face contorts as the unchaste ecstasy ripples through him and into me.
Exhausted, chest heaving, he collapses next to me and pulls me close into his sweaty chest, his skin hot yet cold.
"Four two," he says breathlessly, kissing my forehead.
"Two more and then we're even," I say quietly into his chest.
"In the morning."
"Not tired already, are we?" I plant a delicate kiss over his heart and angle my head to look up at him.
"You know me, quick recovery," he smiles, breathing deep. "I just… Want to be close to you. Enjoy this, us, together."
I inhale deep and plant another kiss on his chest.
"I know what you're thinking," I mumble against his skin.
"Don't, V. Please. I don't think either of us want to cry any more than we already have." He takes my hand and massages my knuckles with his thumb. I press my lips together and sigh as I look deep into his jaded eyes. "It's hard to say but I think we should just leave this as another memorable night and go our separate ways when I go in the morning. I'll be happy knowing that I've had this night and I've seen your beautiful face without the mask. I'll always have you in my heart and I'll always love you. I'll go back to Annie, tell her about everything and try and live as normal a life as possible and you can do your own thing with whoever you want without any guilt or anything."
I breathe deep and smile to myself.
"Well, look how the tables have turned. If I recall correctly, it was me who was the realistic one when we first met."
"Mhmm… You didn't want me to see your face because you wanted me to always think of you and boy, did that work."
"It's funny really. Well, not funny exactly. You've told me about your relationship since that night but never asked about my history." His eyebrow raises, my cue to continue. "I did the same as you. Well, tried to, anyway. I was left with a Finnick shaped hole in my heart when I woke up after that night. Subconsciously, I tried to fill it. I didn't really realise that was what I was doing until you said what happened with Annie. I'd go out with guys and eventually hook up with them and I'd lie back and imagine everything I felt in that bed instead. Nothing ever lead anywhere because there was something in my mind that held me back. There's never been anyone else, Finnick. It's always been you."
"But we can't we can't have a relationship, V. You're here and I'm in 4. Plus, everything would be secret, just like it is with Annie. We can't go out for dinner or go for walks in the rose gardens or get a dog together."
"I fully accept that this situation is fucked up. The distance alone is enough to put anyone off, let alone everything else. But I can't help how I feel about you. Here, with you, I don't think about anything else but us. I completely understand that you have to fuck every woman Snow presents to you and I completely understand that you care deeply for Annie and yet, I am still here, and so are you, so surely that says a lot about how we're both feeling."
"Yeah," he sighs. "You're right. Fuck, I know I'm a complete cunt for everything and I'm still here, finding it physically impossible to keep my hands off of you. I just have to be practical about it. How would we make it work? Say I've told Annie and everything is all good: how would we make it work?"
"I would do everything and anything within my power to see you again."
"How?"
"Well, you're here every year anyway; I could always pretend I'm a potential sponsor and you could come here or we could go out for dinner. It would feel like a date but appear like a business meeting."
"That's once a year, V. I know I'd want more than that; I'm sure you do too."
"Then I'd pay Snow however much he asks for your company again."
"That's a lot of money, V."
"I'd pay. If it meant seeing you more, I'd pay whatever he asked. Or I'd do what you said: design a research project that would send me to 4."
"What abou-"
"Finnick, what part of 'I would do everything and anything within my power' do you not understand?"
He sighs and furrows his brow, his jaw pulsating. His eyes look deep into mine and I sense a very serious question coming.
"What if there was a war? What if there was another rebellion and you had to fight the Districts, fight us?"
"Where did that come from?" He looks up at the ceiling, his jaw clenching like crazy. "Finnick, please tell me."
"That something I told you about, because of the pair from 12… They're a sign of hope. It's given everyone in the Districts a united hopefulness for the future. There's chatter with some of the other mentors of things coming, things changing. Already there's unrest, I can't imagine what will happen when the Games fully kick off. If it all explodes like I think it will, there's going to be a war, maybe not straight away, but it will come. You're from the Capitol and you're a mad powerful scientist; you'll be one of the first Snow calls. What will you do then?" He looks at me, his grip on my hand tightening. I sit up and hold his face in my hand.
"You're right. I am a mad powerful scientist and he would expect me to help. And I'd do it, but only because I knew that I'd get a bullet to the head if I didn't. So, I would work for him, with a gun to my head, and I'd do all that work with you in mind, and with the view that I can live in a world that is mine. How many times have I said that I don't fit in here with this Capitol idyll? I don't want to design creatures that help kids kill each other every year; I want to help as many people as I can with my research and it's the price I have to pay, but I don't want to have to pay that price. I don't think you realise how powerful having someone on the inside would be, especially when that person is incredibly powerful themselves."
"You'd do that?" His grip on my hand tightens even more and his eyes light up.
"If the time came, absolutely. How many times do I have to say it? I would do anything and everything within my power to be with you."
"You're brilliant. Completely and utterly brilliant. I don't know how you sleep with all that brain power."
"Ah, well drugs help," I say with a chuckle.
"You're gonna have to share some with me because I'm definitely too excited to sleep now. I've got a bad ass sexy scientist prepared to fight for what's right, and she's right here, all mine," he smiles, leaning forward and pecking my delicately on the forehead.
"So, with everything I've said, everything I'm willing to do, do you want to give this a shot?" I say, eyebrows raised and head tilted to the side.
"How could I say no to that face?"
I smile and lean up, pressing my lips to his. He cups my face and holds me close as we kiss slowly and passionately. I pull away and rest my forehead on his.
"What are you thinking?" he whispers.
"Just how mad all this is," I whisper. "I hardly know you and yet I feel so much for you and I find it physically impossible to keep my hands off you."
"It is pretty crazy, don't get me wrong, but I know what you mean. How do you think they knew I would be your match?"
"Genetics is a possibility. They have all our genetic information on file since birth, even in the Capitol. I've seen research on the hormones involved in lust, attraction and pleasure: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and adrenaline. There's a correlation between mutations in the genes that code them and their receptors and animals that mate for life, like seahorses, so it's entirely plausible that there's something similar with us humans."
"Sounds like you've got your excuse to come to 4 right there. Who doesn't want to do research on seahorses?" He says with a slight chuckle. "People always said 'you know when you know'. I never really understood that until now, now I know."
"I know too."
His eyes light up and the dimples form as he smiles. He pecks me on the lips and I settle down, using his chest as a pillow. I slowly trail my fingers over the contours of his muscles, watching them rise and fall slowly as he breathes.
"I just find it mad that it's me. I mean, I'm glad it is, otherwise I wouldn't have met you, but out of everyone, it's me."
"I thought the same," I say quietly. "Can't exactly be the power couple they wanted if we're miles apart, like some star-crossed lovers."
"We don't even know who 'they' are as well. But you're right. I think we're a mistake in their system. They clearly picked you because they wanted you to be their scientist with someone who'd make you happy outside of work so you'd comply with everything they wanted, but they don't know who you really are. A rebel within their own midst."
"Well, I still became their scientist, didn't I?"
"No, you became your own scientist. You said it yourself: you live your life on your terms and do what you do because you love it. The master manipulator can't be manipulated, V."
"I like it when you call me V," I smile.
"Oh, really? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that you were okay with the nickname."
"Don't be. It's cute. I take it Finn is okay for you, too?"
"Oh absolutely. Call me whatever you want."
"A complete mess in a six foot three-and-a-half-inch body," I grin, watching his eyes light up and the dimples forming as he smiles. I settle my head on his chest and trail my fingers slowly over the contours of his muscles. "Tell me about 4. What's home like?"
"Oh, it's beautiful; you'd love it."
"I've never seen the sea. Never left the Capitol, actually."
"Then you definitely need to come for some important research. You've seen blue but you've never seen blue like the sea. The way the sun dances on the waves, the salty wind rippling through your hair, the sand between your toes. The Victors Village has a prime location to all of it, but I was lucky growing up because of the business my family were in, I grew up right by the sea."
"Fishing right?"
"You remembered?" he smiles, and I nod. "I mean, that's the main export that comes from 4, but there's so many different types of fishing. My father's company specialised in trap fishing, meaning we caught crabs and lobsters."
"Oh, I absolutely love lobster."
"It's delicious, isn't it? We'd send the lobsters to the Capitol and keep the crab to sell in the District. It's basically a poor man's lobster, but still just as tasty. He used to keep a few lobsters for us when his crew had a large catch and my mother would cook this amazing pasta dish with it. The secret was a hint of chilli."
"That does sound amazing. I bet it tastes even better when it's not long come out of the sea."
"I'm no where near as good a cook as my mother is, but I could rustle some up if you come."
"When," I say with a smile. "It's happening. You're not getting rid of me just yet."
"I know some great spots we can go to. Nice and private, with beautiful views. You can swim, right?"
"Of course, I can. I've got my own pool here. Inside and out. You would've seen them if yo-"
"If I paid for the tour, yeah yeah. I know," he chuckles. "Well, if you come, when you come, make sure you pack a swimsuit or two."
I smile at the image that forms in my mind: the two of us, sat on a blanket by the beach, surrounded by lit candles ready for the darkness when the sun disappears over the horizon, with Finnick using my thigh as a pillow and me running my hands through his salty damp locks. If only.
"I can't wait," I say, planting a kiss on his chest.
He takes my chin delicately and pulls my face close to him, pressing his lips to mine. My tongue runs over his, sending tingles of pleasure down my spine that take over my body, controlling my legs and arms so that I'm straddling him. He holds the small of my back and sits up, our bodies entwined in raw passion. I feel his erection press against me and I rock my hips forward, easing him inside me. His grip on me tightens and he groans as he sinks his teeth into my bottom lip. No words, only sensuous sensual actions.
I wrap my legs around his waist and rock my hips back and forth, up and down, his hands guiding me, gripping me, holding me in all the right places. His enthralling eyes light up, feeling the ecstasy I'm giving him and he's giving me. The quiet sighs of complete unchaste desire from both of us are all I can hear as I feel him deeper inside me, hitting my sweet spot. My heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest and every inch of me tingles. He holds me close to him, angling himself deeper inside me in this tantric position. His breath tickles over my ear and sends euphoric shivers through me. It's not just the sex, what he's doing to me, what I'm doing to him… It's this, this connection, this intimacy that I've never had with anyone but him that blows my mind.
"Oh Venus," he groans. I pull back and rest my head on his, looking deep into his eyes. His pupils dilate and the breathless cries of orgasm fill my ears, his body tensing and relaxing. His chest flushes crimson, rising and falling rapidly as he comes down from heavenly climax. Finnick holds me close and slips out of me, our bodies curling and tangling in a sweaty hot mess of legs and arms on the bed. He brushes his fingers over my curves and I close my eyes, enjoying the heavenly closeness as I come down from the intense euphoria. I inhale deep and smell his delicious erotic scent.
"Four three," he says breathlessly laughing. His eyes meet mine, the emerald orbs glistening with sheer delight.
"Four three," I smile.
"That was…"
"Yeah, it was, right?"
"Fuck yeah," he smiles, nuzzling his noise against mine. "Even after all of that, all the crying and sweat and orgasms, you still look incredible."
"You won't be saying that when you see me without make up on."
"If you hadn't exhausted me so much, I'd say let's go for a shower and find out."
"Hey, I can't help it. The body gets what the body wants, and it wanted you," I say slowly, feeling my eyelids become heavy and my breathing deepen.
"Oh, I'm not complaining at all. We can shower in the morning. You can do my back and I'll do yours."
"Hmm, you better do more than just my back."
"Oh, Venus, you need to be careful with words like that. They're a dangerous aphrodisiac."
"How can you still be horny?" I say with a quiet laugh.
"What can I say, V, you do things to me." His body starts to relax and the cool breath on my lips slows down. "How much energy have you got?"
"Mmm, not a lot. Why? Please say you don't want to go again, I'm exhausted."
"No," he chuckles to himself. "I just… I wanted to see if you could take a picture of us, like this."
"Why?"
"I just want a reminder that this is real," he whispers.
"The lipstick stain on your crotch not enough, eh?" I smirk, watching the dimples form in his cheeks as he smiles. "We can't Finn; it's too risky."
"I don't care. Just… I've spent the last four years thinking you were a figment of a drug induced dream and, even though we've said we'll make this work, I have no idea if we will actually see each other again. Please, V."
I sigh and smile.
"I've got just the thing," I say as I find the energy to get up and go to my wardrobe panel. He watches me tap into the screen and the frosted glass reveal a camera. I take it back to bed with me and resume the divinely close position.
"This isn't what I was expecting," he says, analysing the fairly bulky machine.
"It prints the pictures you take," I reply, turning it on and fiddling with a few buttons. "So you can take it with you without leaving a digital trace. Just promise me you'll keep this safe. No one can know."
"You have my word."
We get a little more comfortable in bed together, resting my head on his chest with his arm around my shoulder. I hold the camera high and angle the lens to capture us.
"Ready?" I say.
"Mhmm. Say 'I just had sex!'"
The flash goes off as I'm mid laugh. I push his side and nestle back down to cuddle him, resting the camera on the bed.
"You absolute dick," I giggle, watching Finnick chuckle away to himself.
"I'm not even sorry," he says in between laughter. "I couldn't resist. We can take another if you don't approve."
"No, it's fine," I smile. "I'm the sure the snorting faces will be simply beautiful."
The film rolls out of the camera and I put the machine to one side. I hold the square plastic so both of us can see it.
"It's black?"
"No, it's developing. The picture will appear, I promise."
"Damn, this is some absolute wizardry right here."
"Honestly, this is old school. Simple science, really, using a photosensitive media, like the film, and how it reacts when exposed to light."
"You really are the gift that keeps on giving," Finnick smiles, squeezing me closer to him.
The image slowly appears from the darkness on the film. It's not as bad as I initially thought. In fact, it's quite beautiful. I've always thought my smile looks better when it's caught off-guard, rather than forced into a pose. I'm not exactly a model, after all. I am captured mid laugh, as expected, and the grin across Finnick's face highlights his dimples perfectly. The flash has picked up the emerald of his eyes and the warm bronze of his hair.
"It's perfect," he mumbles. "You're perfect. I'll treasure this always." Finnick kisses my forehead and puts the picture to one side. "I don't know about you but it's definitely bed time for me."
"Mmm, I agree."
We shuffle the covers over our bodies and nestle into the soft pillows, our divine closeness shrouded in warmth and comfort. My body begins to feel heavy in his arms and my breathing deepens. I've had quite the workout today; I'm sure to be aching in the morning.
"Finnick?" I say quietly.
"Hmm?" His jade eyes are dark with exhaustion.
"Promise me you'll be here in the morning."
"Do you really think I'm going to leave?"
"No… I mean, I'd just like some reassurance. I don't want to feel like how I did when I woke up alone the first time."
"I'm here, V. I'll always be here."
