Yvonne McGruder packed up her things and said goodbye to her old quarters, she begged her now ex partner Ben to take her back, but he refused again. Yvonne wiped the tears from her eyes and walked away from her old life.
Yvonne moved into her new room and looked around, on the table were a pen and a diary, the bed was made and beauty products stood on the shelves. A brown teddy was sitting on the bed. Yvonne knew straight away who her new roommate was – Kristine Kochanski.
As if on cue she walked in, her long brown hair fell behind her shoulders and her blue eyes looked into Yvonne's.
"McGruder" Kriss said spitefully "I've got the bottom bunk, you can have the top"
"You can call me Yvonne" she answered, "Can I call you Kriss?"
"If you must" Kriss answered "I'm going to have a shower"
While Kriss was in the shower there was a knock on the door, obviously Yvonne answered it, it was Dave.
"Oh, hello" Dave was surprised to see Yvonne in Kristine's quarters "I didn't know you lived here"
"Just moved in today" Yvonne giggled "why who were you looking for?"
"Kristine Kochanski" Dave told her "do you know where she's moved to?"
"She still lives here" Yvonne answered, "I'm her new roommate"
Just at that moment Kriss came out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel. Dave stared at Kriss with longing in his eyes. Yvonne could see the way Dave was staring at Kriss and a feeling of immense envy washed over her.
"There's my girl" Dave smiled "did you get my note?"
"Yes" giggled Kriss "did you mean it?"
"Of course I did" Dave answered, "I love you, can we go out?"
"Sure, we'll go to the officer's club, wait here while I get dressed"
Kriss shut the door in Dave's face and dropped her towel so she could get dressed. Yvonne inconspicuously looked at her new roommate while she was naked. Kriss' perfect body glistened as the light reflected on the water from the shower. Most people didn't know this but Yvonne McGruder was bisexual and like the entire population of straight men on Red Dwarf had a bit of a thing for Kristine Kochanski. Yvonne wanted Dave out of the picture (if Yvonne couldn't have her no-one could), but it was impossible for Yvonne to tell Kriss the truth so Yvonne thought back to the start of this trip. Dave Lister had got rather drunk and they had ended up in bed together and that was the beginnings of an affair that finished three weeks later when Dave turned his attention to Kristine. Yvonne would use this as an excuse to get to them both and forget the small fact that Yvonne McGruder loved Kristine Kochanski.
"That's brought it all back" Yvonne sighed. She didn't know whether Kriss knew about the affair but if she did, no harm done, if she didn't – perfect!
"What do you mean?" Kriss asked her "what's brought all of what back?"
"Seeing Dave again" Yvonne answered "memories"
"What memories?"
"Don't you know?" Yvonne smiled "I had a short relationship with Dave"
"Oh, was it before I started going with him?"
"Don't know"
Kriss picked up her jacket and threw it over her back
"I'm off" Kriss told Yvonne "don't touch my stuff!"
"See you later" Yvonne smiled "have fun"
