The Ordinary Days
A/N: Hello again! Here comes chapter two. Not much to add as I am uploading both chapters one and two together, but I appreciate you continuing with the story!
Warnings: There will be brief period-typical attitudes about premarital sex in the first part of this chapter (throughout the first scene when Steve is talking to his mother) and then Peggy briefly mentions her assault for a few lines later on. If you would like to skip that part, stop reading at the line "Peggy suddenly got up and began pacing around the yard in exasperation…" about halfway through the chapter and then jump a few lines ahead to "She sank back down onto the back steps and hugged her arms around her knees…" You will not have missed anything plot-wise if you skip those few lines.
Chapter Two
Steve did not sleep very well that night and this was apparent to his mother, Sarah, when he nearly burned the eggs he was cooking for breakfast.
"Everything alright, Steve?" she asked as she took the wooden spoon from him and gestured for him to sit at the table. "You look like you hardly slept a wink."
"Oh…I'm alright," he said weakly as he sat down. "Just a lot on my mind, I guess."
"Are they working you too hard out there at the Barnes' farm?"
"Oh? No, not at all. It's just…" He trailed off, not wanting to disclose what Peggy had told him the day before since it wasn't his secret to tell. But before he could come up with a lie his mother interrupted him.
"This doesn't have anything to do with Margaret Carter, does it?"
Steve looked at her in shock and spluttered, "Wh-what do you mean?"
"Oh, well…I heard Mrs. Miller - you know, the Carters' cook? - talking to Mrs. Andrews at the post office yesterday afternoon, and she mentioned something about Margaret leaving Denver?"
"Peggy," Steve corrected, "and…yeah, she actually told me that yesterday."
"Did she? I see."
Sarah had her back to Steve while she was stirring the eggs but he could tell by her demeanor that she was thinking about something.
"You sound as if you know something else about her leaving?"
Sarah hesitated, but asked, "Did she tell you why?"
"Why she's leaving? Something about attending a college in New York," he shrugged. "Why? What did you hear?"
Sarah plated the scrambled eggs carefully, avoiding Steve's gaze. "I'm afraid what I heard might upset you."
Steve huffed in annoyance. "You do realize that Peggy is only my friend, right? A friend I don't know that well, to be honest. Why would hearing something about her make me upset?"
"So she's just a platonic friend?"
"Yes, Ma," emphasized Steve, rolling his eyes. "I promise you she's just a friend."
"Okay, okay, don't have a cow" she conceded, and sat Steve's plate of eggs in front of him but he didn't even glance at it. "The thing I heard was…Peggy got up to something…improper, with a family friend of the Carter's, and that's why she's being sent away suddenly."
"Oh."
"A male friend, Steve."
Steve blinked, and then he realized what she meant. "Oh."
"I'm sorry, I thought you liked her so I didn't want to make you think badly of her. But I thought you should know."
"I don't think badly of her," he retorted quickly, "I just…Well, honestly, I don't know if I believe Mrs. Miller is right. Peggy doesn't strike me as the type to do something like that, truly. Plus she seemed like she was happy to go to New York. She called it an 'adventure.'"
"I suppose, Steve," Sarah sighed. "But she could have made that up to save face."
"I think it's just a nasty rumor, Mother," said Steve, a little harsher than he had intended.
Sarah threw her hands up and said, "Alright, son, don't shoot the messenger; I'm just telling you what I heard."
The pair ate their breakfast in silence as Steve mulled over his mother's words. Peggy, do something improper? She seemed like a proper lady to him all the times he's talked to her. Perhaps her speech could be a little biting at times, but she was a witty person and knew exactly what to say to exasperate someone, to her amusement. But would she risk tarnishing her name and reputation to be with a man to whom she wasn't married?
Steve's brow spent the rest of the day furrowed in thought as he helped his mother tend to things around their apartment. But his mother's words about Peggy kept him from focusing on anything to the point where he very nearly hammered a nail to his thumb. It was at that moment that he made up his mind that he needed to go talk to Peggy to stop himself from questioning her honor.
He hastily told his mother he forgot something at the Barnes' yesterday so he went out to his truck and started driving to the Carter's house. Faster than Steve had expected, he saw the grand house come into view and he parked in the back street. As he turned off the engine, he realized he'll need an excuse for Mrs. Miller to explain why he was calling on Peggy without any deliveries.
When he walked around through the gate to the back garden, however, he didn't have to contrive a reason at all because Peggy was sitting on the back steps, hugging her knees up toward her chest. She glanced up when she heard the metal gate close behind him.
"Steve," she said in almost a breathy voice, like she was sighing in relief. "What are you doing here?"
Steve's mouth started to move but no sound came out; was he just going to straight-up ask her if the rumors about her being promiscuous were true? Surely he had more tact than that. But the fact is, he hadn't thought about what to say to her when he got here so no words would come to him.
"Are you alright?" she asked earnestly.
"Have you packed for your trip yet?" he asked, and the questions was so stupid that he could've kicked himself. Small talk? Really?
"I…no, not quite," she answered, a little confusion in her voice. "I know I'll be leaving by the end of the week, but I just couldn't bring myself to pack very much today."
She looked quite sad which made Steve's heart sink - both because he hated to see her so sad, but it also disproved his assertion to his mother earlier that Peggy seemed happy to leave for her trip. Words still failing to come to his brain, he couldn't help himself from asking, "Are you happy to be leaving Denver?"
Peggy blinked, a little taken aback by the sudden, honest question. She looked like she was thinking of something positive to say, but her face fell.
"Honestly? No, I'm not."
"So why are you going, then?" asked Steve, his heart pounding a little as he prepared for Peggy to reveal the worst.
"It's…it's complicated, Steve. I wish I could tell you, truly, but just trust me that I'm not at liberty to say the real reason."
Steve ran a hand through his hair in agitation, afraid that the nasty gossip his mother had heard was true. But the thought that Peggy would do something like that with a man she barely knew made Steve irrationally angry so he blurted out, "Nothing improper, I hope?"
Peggy's eyes widened. "Why…why would you say that?"
Steve could tell he had struck a nerve, and he immediately felt sheepish. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just…"
"What did you hear?" she whispered, her voice shaking ever so slightly.
Steve cast his eyes down to the ground. "It was my mother, actually…she said she had heard Mrs. Miller say that you had…that you did something bad, so that's why you were being sent away."
Peggy swallowed. "Define 'bad'?"
"Peggy, I -"
"No, what did Mrs. Miller say, Steve?"
He could hear that bite returning to her voice, so he thought better than to lie to her.
"Mother said she had heard that you were with someone…a man…in an improper way, and that's why you have to leave."
Peggy exhaled and buried her face in her hands. She breathed a few deep sighs and Steve stood like a buffoon waiting for her to say something. When she regained her breath, she looked back at Steve with pleading eyes and said, "Did she imply that I had chosen to do such a thing?"
Steve stared at her in confusion. "I don't…what do you mean?"
Peggy suddenly got up and began pacing around the yard in exasperation, choosing her words carefully. "Did Mrs. Miller say she believed that what I did was my fault? That I had chosen to be in that situation? That I wasn't taken out into that alley while I was practically unconscious and woke up to a man doing things no gentleman would even think about doing to a lady?"
Steve's eyes widened as he took in what Peggy was implying. "Peggy…are you saying…did a man have his way with you? Against your will?"
Her eyes shut tightly as if she were straining to get the words out, but after a pause she looked at Steve with pleading eyes and said, "Yes."
Steve did not know what else to do but stare at her, mouth slightly open in shock, trying to find the right words to say in response. When no words could come to him, he saw Peggy's lower lip start to tremble and he felt his heart break for her. He snapped out of it when she burst into tears and he came over to her to comfort her, but felt it would be improper to do anything but put a hand on her shoulder.
"Peggy, I…I'm sorry…I thought what my mother had said was just gossip, but I didn't realize that…that happened."
She sank back down onto the back steps and hugged her arms around her knees once more. "Now you know why I must be sent away."
She continued to cry. Steve hesitated for a moment, but sat down next to her and was relieved that she had let him. "It's going to be okay, Peggy."
"No, it's not," she sniffled. "Mother is sending me away to get away from the gossip but she also keeps implying she wants me to marry cousin Harold's son to save our family's reputation."
Steve reeled at the thought of getting sent miles away just to marry a distant relative halfway across the country. "But…surely there's another way–"
"There isn't," she said with finality, hiccuping back her tears. "There's no other option. I can stay here and be an unmarried pariah with no marriage prospects once the story gets out, which it eventually will, or I can get sent away and marry a man I don't love and live hundreds of miles away from everything and everyone I hold dear. My life is over either way."
She buried her face into her arms and Steve put a hand on her shoulder. "What if you got married here in Denver? That way no one would question your honor and you could stop the rumors, but you'd get to stay here."
Peggy scoffed into her elbow. "I would have to get married very quickly before my family sends me away. And who in Denver would want to marry me?"
Steve considered for a moment. Then, truly without thinking about it, he asked, "What if I married you?"
Peggy stayed frozen with her head in her arms for several seconds. Then her head shot up and she stared intently at Steve. "What?"
Swallowing, Steve explained, "Well, you said you either have to marry and live far away or be unmarried and stay here, but either way your life is over, right? If you married me, you could live with me in Denver and potentially have a life because you'd be able to still see your family and friends. I mean, we'd have to find a place to live because we can't all fit in my mother's apartment, but wouldn't you rather stay close to everyone you know than move across the country?"
Peggy truly did not know what to say to this offer. She blinked several times to try to get her mind working again and she asked, "But…what about you? Why would you want to settle for marrying someone you barely know, let alone love?"
Steve shook his head. "I would hate to see your life ruined because of a terrible thing that happened to you that wasn't even your fault. Plus I never really saw myself as the marrying type," he lied, "so it's not like I'll have missed out on anything by marrying you."
It took several moments of processing before Peggy could speak. "I just…I can't believe you would offer to uproot your whole life just to help me out. I feel like I don't deserve it."
"I've come to think of you as a friend," he added with a smile, "and friends help each other out."
"Usually not to this extreme!"
"Look, I don't have a ring and I'm not getting down on one knee," replied Steve, shrugging. "I'm just offering you a way to get out of your potentially horrible future with the least amount of sacrifices possible. We wouldn't have to…do all the things married couples normally do," he added nervously as Peggy raised her eyebrows, "but at least we could pretend to be happy in front of the town and our families to avoid suspicion. No one would even think about questioning your honor if you and I were married."
She didn't respond for several moments so he asked, "Will you at least think about it?"
Peggy shook her head in disbelief. "We don't have a lot of time for me to think about it, but…I will. I promise you, I will," she added quickly when he gave her a pointed look.
"Um…okay then," he said awkwardly. "I guess I'll just…go back home and wait for you to telephone with an update?"
"Y-yes, I suppose," she replied, still bewildered by the whole conversation.
Without another word, Steve turned around and hurried out of the garden through the gate and disappeared.
Peggy sat in stunned silence, trying to weigh in on how she was feeling about his proposal, but could not even make sense of her emotions. She was mostly feeling terribly confused, relieved that there may be another option to her salvation, and, dare she admit it, a little flattered that he had proposed marriage to her. Steve had swooped in on her like a knight in shining armor and offered to uproot his whole life for her…and she said she would think about it.
What would it be like, she wondered, to be married to Steve Rogers? She had to admit that he was certainly attractive and seemed to have a good temperament. She liked having chats with him on the rare occasion he'd drop off deliveries, but they would usually talk about things like what the neighbors were up to and films that were being shown at the movie house downtown. She didn't really know him because of their society-mandated cordial relationship. It was generally frowned upon in polite society for people of the opposite sex to get to know each other well unless they were courting, so Peggy didn't even know basic things about him like his age or his middle name.
But she thought about the pulp novels she read where women were sent into arranged marriages and found out their husbands were nasty, brutish drunkards and she knew Steve did not fit that profile at all. He had an easygoing nature and a softness that was hard not to notice when he spoke with careful and polite words. He was certainly charming but not in a roguish or swaggering way; he knew how to respond to Peggy's sharp wit without batting an eye. He was a gentleman, despite not being from a social class that values them, and Peggy would be lucky to marry someone like that.
And yet, the thought of marrying kind-hearted Steve Rogers still made her stomach turn to ice with dread because she was simply not in love with him. She had always pictured herself as living a grand and full life with an even grander and interesting husband, with whom she was desperately in love. His financial standing, social background, or even education was of no concern to Peggy as long as they could have witty conversation and love each other with equal passion. She tried to picture that with Steve and…well, he was just not a person with whom she could picture living that kind of life. He was demure in a way that made Peggy think she would find him boring after a few years of simple conversation and a lack of fire-fueled passion for her.
Well, she thought, he could give me a life, though. The life as a farmhand's wife but at least it would still be a life. I would get to see my family and friends and I wouldn't have to leave Colorado. We wouldn't live in a grand house, but at least I'd be taken care of. My child would be, too.
Peggy leaned back and looked up at the budding stars that were starting to appear in the orange and purple sky. She knew she was probably going to regret this, but what other choice did she have? If there was any possibility that she and Steve could make this work, she had to jump at the chance.
Now I just have to tell Mother…she mused.
Mrs. Carter sank into her armchair with her hands pressed together at her mouth, thinking carefully about what Peggy had just told her. After a few moments of silence, she asked, "And he just asked you to marry him just like that? No hesitation?"
"It wasn't like he got down on one knee and proposed to me," explained Peggy, exasperated. "It was more like a business proposal than anything else. He knows I'm in a bind and he said he didn't want to see my life ruined because of a horrible thing that happened."
"I still can't believe you told him the whole story," said Mrs. Carter in disbelief, shaking her head. "When we have been so careful about the story not getting out–"
"But Mrs. Miller somehow knows! Or at least, she has her suspicions, which probably came from someone else in town. It's starting to spread, Mother, so we need to nip it in the bud as quickly as possible."
Mrs. Carter sighed. "You're right, dear. And to be completely honest, I would rather you stay here in town and marry a stranger than marry cousin George…" she emphasized with clear disdain in her voice. "But the fact remains that here in Denver you will be scrutinized under the public eye. Too many people know you and Steve, and a sudden marriage between you two will come across as suspicious. You come from different backgrounds and social standings; where would you even live?"
"Steve said something about us having to find a place in Denver," Peggy recalled. "What if we go somewhere outside of town to be out of the public eye, but not so close that we'd be completely removed from everyone?"
"You've given me an idea," said Mrs. Carter, contemplating. "I'll have to work out some details and I'll have letters to write, but I think we could make it work. We should make it work."
"So you think I should accept him?" Peggy interrupted her mother's musings.
Mrs. Carter got up from her chair and put a hand on Peggy's upper arm. "It kills me knowing that your chances of a happy life were robbed from you, Margaret. But I feel that out of all of our options, this would be the best one for all of us."
"But what about the baby?"
Her mother thought for a moment. "If you are pregnant, and that's still a big if, it won't be scandalous to anyone if you reveal you're pregnant after you're married. You should still have a few months before you start to show, and then when the baby is born we'll say it's early."
"No, I meant how do I tell Steve?"
Mrs. Carter stared at her. "Tell Steve? That you're pregnant with another man's child? You and I both know he'd rescind his offer to marry you in a heartbeat if he knew there would be an illegitimate child in the mix."
"I don't think Steve is like that," Peggy huffed, but Mrs. Carter cut her off.
"Trust me, my dear, all men seem like gentlemen of their word until a baby becomes involved. It's better off that he not know, and then after you're married you can pretend it's his. He won't suspect a thing."
Peggy folded her arms. "That seems dishonest."
"Well if you don't want to go through with it then we're back to square one and we'll send you off to cousin Harold like we had originally planned."
Peggy considered her mother's words, and then nodded slowly. "Alright. I'll telephone Steve and tell him I'll accept his offer. And I won't tell him about the baby yet."
"Good," her mother said with a sad smile. "When you telephone him, ask him to come 'round for dinner tomorrow night so he can ask for your father's permission. We'll tell everyone you had a secret courtship because you were embarrassed by Steve's lower financial status, but you fell in love and decided to get married quickly because of the war and you had our blessing."
"That doesn't seem very fair to Steve," Peggy pointed out, not feeling good about the idea of telling everyone she was embarrassed about having a relationship with Steve because of his lack of money.
"How else would you explain a secret and sudden engagement between a society lady and a farmhand? This makes sense and most won't question it. Young people these days are getting married fast because of the war so we probably will not have to explain it to too many people anyway."
"I suppose…" Peggy conceded, although not altogether convinced this was the best way.
"Telephone Steve," her mother implored, "and tell him you'll announce the engagement at dinner."
With a huff, Peggy nodded and headed downstairs to the telephone. She gave the operator Steve's address and waited.
"Hello?"
Peggy's heart jolted when she heard Steve's voice, but she wasn't quite sure why. "Hello, Steve? It's Margaret. Would you be so kind as to join my family and I for dinner tomorrow evening around six o'clock?"
She knew she had to keep the conversation vague and polite in case any of the servants were listening in on them, knowing that's probably how Mrs. Miller found out.
"Uh, yeah, sure Peggy," replied Steve, and she could tell there was some bewilderment in his voice. "I'll let my mother know. Do I take it you've made up your mind about my offer?"
"Yes, Steve. We'll announce our plans at dinner, but I'll talk to you more about the details when you arrive tomorrow. Have a pleasant evening."
He paused for a moment on the other end of the line. "You too, Peggy."
Steve hung up the receiver and stood still for a moment, breathing slowly and trying to take in the fact that Peggy had given him her answer.
"Who was that, dear?" asked Sarah, looking over at Steve while she was washing dishes.
"That was Peggy Carter," he replied carefully, turning to look at her. "I think she just agreed to marry me."
A/N: Gasp! The plot thickens! Thanks again for reading and please consider reviewing if you feel so inclined. The next chapter will be up soon. :)
