The Ordinary Days

A/N: Here's chapter eight for you! There are no content warnings for this chapter, but just be warned that Steve and Peggy are going to be the idiots they often are. XD

Chapter Eight

It took several nights for both Peggy and Steve to realize that their new sleeping arrangement had become an unspoken routine for the two of them. Steve would change and get ready in his room while he let Peggy do the same in hers; then, like clockwork, she would come and knock on his door when she was ready and he abandoned his bed to sleep in hers. Sometimes Steve would extend out his arm and she would sleep against his shoulder, and other times they would simply lie next to each other and drift off to sleep listening to each other's soft breathing. But without fail, no matter what position they fell asleep in, every morning they both woke up to Peggy snuggling her body into Steve's or vice versa. At first they found it rather mortifying, muttering embarrassed excuses to one another in the morning; but after a few times of it happening, the routine became predictable and there was little shame between them.

In truth, Peggy quite liked to be woken up in a soft embrace rather than in a cold bed, alone. A couple of times she woke up with feelings of morning sickness, but pulling herself into Steve's side and listening to his rhythmic breathing helped quell her nausea. She wondered if they should make the arrangement permanent and have Steve move his things into her room, but she didn't dare ask him if that's what he wanted to do.

If he wanted to move into my room, he would have asked to do so by now, she told herself one morning while she clung to Steve's side, waiting for him to wake up. She watched her hand on his smooth chest moving up and down soothingly while he breathed, completely unaware of Peggy's furrowed brow while she mused.

He's only doing this to help me sleep, she thought. Let's not read into this more than there is. Once I have the baby he's not going to want to do this anymore.

She wondered vaguely why this notion made her feel sad.

When their blissful morning routines were over, the pair contrived more and more reasons to see each other during the day. One time Steve asked Peggy if she wanted to see the animals and she cautiously agreed, not seeing herself as much of an animal person, but found herself falling in love with the sweet cows and gorgeous horse after Steve introduced her to them. Steve even taught her how to milk one of the cows, laughing heartily when Peggy accidentally sprayed herself with milk and frowned up at him like a child.

Peggy had her opportunity to laugh at Steve the next day when she watched him get covered in flour while he was helping her and Ana (who was continuing to give her cooking lessons once a week or so) bake a cake. He had squeezed the paper bag of flour too hard which made the white dust poof into the air and settle on his hair and clothes. Peggy giggled and Steve picked up a handful of flour, pretending to throw it at her, which made the women shriek and scurry out of the room.

"You can finish the rest of the cake on your own!" Peggy shouted to him as she and Ana doubled over with laughter.

This became their lives for nearly a week and Peggy felt herself feel lighter than she had in months. Sure, she was still having to deal with early pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness and fatigue, but by this point she was starting to get more used to them. And even though she found more things to occupy her time during the day, she increasingly found herself looking forward to nighttime when she would get to share her bed with Steve after dinner. Even after that one horrid night when she had tried to seduce him, she did not find anything salacious in sharing her bed with him because she knew he was doing it to ensure she got a proper night's sleep. She hadn't had a single nightmare since he began to sleep next to her and she wanted it to stay that way.

And yet, it became harder and harder for Peggy to lie next to him and not picture herself exploring Steve's skin with her hands…He generally slept in pajama pants and a long-sleeved Henley shirt (occasionally with one or two of the top buttons undone, Peggy noted after a while), but sometimes the fabric of his shirt would roll up a little while he turned over in his sleep, exposing the ripples of muscles underneath. Once or twice, when Peggy was sure Steve was asleep, she had reached over and let her hand rest on his bare skin, and then curiously traced her fingers across his smooth abdominal muscles…until she reached the top of his pajama pants and then quickly retracted her hand.

Was it normal to want to touch him even though she didn't have any romantic feelings for him? Peggy certainly felt differently about him now compared to when they had first agreed to get married; he had been a stranger to her back then but now she knew a lot more about his life and personality and interests. She knew he was hardworking, letting himself learn every new thing about farming that he could from Daniel and the other staff on the farm. And despite being a bit shy, he had a great sense of humor (which was most apparent when Peggy found herself in ridiculous situations like when she failed at milking the cow). And he was incredibly kind, well-liked by everyone who knew him, and…was there even anything wrong with him? Peggy couldn't think of a single thing.

But was she in love with him?

No, of course not. He was a good friend and took care of her, but the fact was that she could not picture a long and passionate marriage with Steve. Theirs was a marriage of obligation and Peggy thought herself foolish to try to change it to anything else.

On this particularly warm afternoon while she was deep in her musings, Peggy was hanging up the laundry on the clothesline when she looked up and was pleased to see her neighbor Angie striding up the dirt path toward her.

"Hi, stranger," said Peggy as Angie approached holding a basket of something.

"Hey, English," returned Angie, passing the basket to her.

"What's this?"

"The seeds I told you I was gonna get you for your garden! Gee, you gotta get your memory checked, Peggy."

"Oh that's right," she remembered as she led the two of them into the house, setting the basket of seeds on the floor by the front door. Benny, who had followed the two of them in, immediately went over to the basket and sniffed it, making Peggy shoo him away.

She set out the cake that Steve had (miraculously) finished baking yesterday on the table and the two women sat down to partake in it. After a few moments of chatting, Steve came in through the front door and took off his dirty boots, smiling at the two women.

"Hello," he said to Angie as he dusted himself off. "I'm Peggy's husband, Steve."

"Oh, I know who you are," replied Angie jokingly as Peggy surreptitiously shot her a look. "I'm Angie, I live on the neighboring farm."

"Oh, yes, Peggy told me all about you."

"Good things, I hope?" she asked, turning to Peggy and pretending to be alarmed. Peggy waved her friend off.

"Don't pay any attention to her, Steve, she's slowly losing her mind living out at that farm all by herself."

Angie laughed. "Perhaps you're right."

"I was just coming in to grab a bite to eat before heading out to town," said Steve as he opened the icebox, digging through it. "But I'll leave you two ladies to catch up. Do you need anything while I'm in town, Peg?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

"Alright, I'll be back later tonight. It was nice to meet you, Angie. And Peggy, I'll be at the Gower's general store in case you don't feel well and need to get a hold of me."

Peggy froze as Steve waved goodbye with a sandwich in hand and headed out the door. Angie wished him well and turned to eye Peggy suspiciously.

"Are you feeling okay, English?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm perfectly well, thank you," she said icily.

"Uh huh. So he just thinks that you'll fall ill, all of a sudden? Is that why he said that?"

"I don't know what Steve was talking about," she lied as she reached down to pet Benny, who was lying on the floor next to her chair.

"Hey, don't get mad at me," argued Angie, throwing up her hands. "I'm just trying to make sure you're not secretly sick and dying of some disease I don't know about -"

Peggy cut her off with an exasperated sigh. "Very well, Angie, if you must know, I just found out that Steve and I are expecting."

Angie gasped. "A baby?"

"No, a banana squash." Peggy rolled her eyes at her friend. "Yes, a baby."

"Oh, well…congratulations!" said Angie unconvincingly. She looked confused and stabbed at her cake with her fork. "That's…that's great news."

"Thank you."

An awkward silence hung in the air as they continued eating their cake. Peggy looked over at Angie and saw her brow was furrowed like she was thinking. When she couldn't stand the silence any longer, Peggy asked, "Is there something you wish to say, Angie?"

Angie looked at her friend and sighed. "Well, I was just thinking…You two have been married for, what, a couple of weeks? And you're already expecting? It seems a little…sudden, is all."

"Are you implying anything?"

"No! Well…I don't know…Steve wastes no time, I guess," she muttered under her breath.

Peggy regretted having mentioned the baby at all to Angie, but she had wanted to get her off her back. She felt she owed it to her friend, though, to explain things and set the record straight.

"Angie…I want you to know that I've come to see you as a friend, and you're basically my only friend out here, so I don't want to lie to you. Yes, I am pregnant. And to confirm your suspicions, no the baby isn't Steve's." Angie's mouth dropped open but Peggy continued. "I found myself in a terrible situation several weeks ago and Steve married me to save me, and I don't want you making any assumptions about him or I in that regard. We're doing our best to make things work, alright?"

Angie exhaled slowly after that massive revelation. She nodded carefully, and then asked, "So, it was, what, an arranged marriage?"

"No, no, nothing like that," she reassured her. "Steve found out about my predicament and offered to marry me to save my reputation and my family's good name. No one coerced either of us into it."

"So…he offered to marry you, even though you aren't in love? You weren't even courting?"

"Right, we're…we're not in love," Peggy sighed, perhaps with a little more sadness than she had intended. "At this point we've finally become friends, which I'm happy about, but…"

She trailed off and Angie looked at her, confused. "But?"

Peggy innocently played with the cake with her fork, avoiding Angie's eyes. "I don't know…I just…lately we've been spending more time together, which is great, but I'm starting to have thoughts about him as if I want to be…closer than just friends."

"So you're attracted to him?"

"I suppose? Well, this all started because we started sleeping next to each other at night a little while ago. Nothing happens!" she interjected when she saw Angie's smirk. "It's just because I sometimes have trouble sleeping. But in the morning when I wake up next to him I find myself thinking about him and…" she trailed off, embarrassed.

"Well, I'm not surprised you're starting to find him attractive. You have eyes, don't you?"

Peggy blushed when Angie raised her eyebrows suggestively. "I just don't really know what to do. I feel like these are just fleeting feelings of attraction because we've been sleeping next to each other and spending more time together. But if I act on these…impulses, then our whole relationship will change. I like the fact that we're friends now, because a little while ago I did something that I thought made him hate me and I couldn't bear to live through that again."

"Have you received any indication that he likes you back, in that way?"

Peggy pondered for a moment. He had certainly always been friendly with her and joked and played around with her from time to time. But had he ever shown passion for her? Suddenly she remembered the night she tried to seduce him and how fervently he had kissed her back.

"Well…there was one time that we kissed," said Peggy, keeping it vague but Angie's eyes widened slightly. "I initiated it and he kissed me back…but I chalked it up to him being a man and me being a…well, dare I say it, an attractive woman."

"Don't sell yourself short, English, you're a very attractive woman," stated Angie matter-of-factly with a grin. "But does Steve come across as the kind of man who would throw himself at any woman who wiggled her hips at him?"

Peggy frowned. "No, I don't think so."

"Well, then, there you go! If you kissed him and he liked it, that's gotta mean he has feelings for you. Plus he married you, didn't he? Would he have offered himself to you in the first place if he didn't at least like you a little bit?"

There were still doubts at the edge of her mind as she considered this, but Peggy couldn't help but agree with her friend. "I suppose you might be right. But how would I know for certain if he has feelings for me?"

Angie shrugged. "You'll never know for certain unless you ask him. Or just act on one of those 'impulses' you mentioned earlier and see what happens."

Angie winked at her and Peggy feigned shock. "Angie!"

"What? You two are married, aren't you? Nothing improper about that."

"I suppose…"

"Look, English," Angie said in an exasperated tone as she picked up her and Peggy's crumb-laden plates to take to the kitchen sink, "if I were you, I would just lay it all bare in front of him and tell him the truth. Marriage is all about communication – so I'm told – so there's no sense in hiding these things from him and causing you both unneeded anguish."

Peggy considered her words and conceded that there was some sense to them. "Perhaps you're right. I should just tell him when we go to bed tonight, and…'see what happens,' to use your words."

"There ya go!" encouraged Angie, grinning mischievously as Peggy dismissed her with flushed cheeks.

Angie left a little while later and Peggy decided there was no time like the present to start plotting her vegetable garden with the seeds Angie had given her. She toiled away in the warm sun and felt relief when the day began to end and the air cooled. She laughed while she watched Benny chase a rabbit and wiped off his paws with a towel when she decided to go inside before it got too dark.

She prepared dinner and kept listening for Steve's truck as she chopped and stirred, but by sunset, Steve still hadn't come home. She left the roast on the stovetop simmering for as long as possible before conceding to the fact that Steve must be stuck in town for whatever reason and probably won't be home in time for dinner. She sat down at the kitchen table and ate alone, occasionally passing scraps off to Benny who was under the table salivating.

When she was rinsing off her plate, she heard the familiar sound of tires on the dirt path and she sighed in relief. But she was surprised when she suddenly heard knocking on the door.

Peggy carefully opened the front door and was alarmed to see Daniel Sousa standing before her.

"Daniel? Is everything alright?"

"Steve's fine," he assured her quickly as he took off his hat, "but he asked me to drive back to tell you he won't be coming home tonight. When he was in town he heard his mother was ill so he's going to stay with her for a couple of days."

"Oh," breathed Peggy, her heart sinking. "Oh, I am sorry to hear that."

"Here," he said as he handed her a scrap of paper with an address written on it. "He asked me to give you her address in case you needed to reach him. But I thought I'd offer to stay over tonight in case you wanted me to because I know you haven't installed a telephone yet."

"Oh, no, that's alright Daniel," she said, shaking her head. "That's very kind of you, but I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Alright. I'll come back first thing in the morning to make sure everything's okay. I live a mile or two down the road on Howard, so holler if you need anything."

"Thank you, Daniel. Good night."

"Have a good night, Peggy."

He turned and went back to his truck, driving away in the cool night air and leaving Peggy alone. She shut the front door morosely and let herself feel saddened by the news that Sarah was ill, praying she would be okay.

Peggy finished cleaning up her dinner and headed upstairs, feeling a chill in the empty house that made her shiver. When she climbed into bed, she stared up at the ceiling and lamented that this was the first night since she and Steve started sharing a bed that she would be sleeping alone.

After laying there silently for a moment, she got up and opened the door and whistled for Benny. She heard the dog bound up the stairs and when he came through the door she patted the bed, letting him know it was okay to lay with her. Benny happily obliged and panted as he jumped up and curled up in a ball on top of her blankets. Peggy got in bed next to him and felt warmth radiating from his little body, but she felt a pang in her chest as she wished it were Steve next to her instead.

Tears sprang to Peggy's eyes - damn these incessant hormones - and she buried her face in her pillow. The plain fact was that she missed him. She missed his warm body pressed against hers in a comforting embrace, she missed falling asleep to the sound of his soft, rhythmic breathing, she missed waking up and seeing his blue eyes blinking open and his lips smiling sleepily at her. God, those lips that she wanted to feel on hers again -

Peggy blinked and realized something. This is not normal behavior of someone who thinks of Steve as just a friend - she had feelings for him. Strong feelings. Feelings of wanting to kiss him, to feel his hands on her skin and see if they could pick up where they had left off the night that Peggy had told Steve about her pregnancy. It was only when he was gone that she realized she never wanted to spend another night without him, and she cried into her pillow until she eventually drifted off into a fitful sleep.


It had been a long three days, but Steve finally managed to get his mother's fever to go down on the evening of day three and she was resting peacefully in her bedroom. She had scared him at one point when her fever had reached its peak, but Steve was familiar with the routines of taking care of his mother ever since she had started getting sick last year. Her health had started slowly declining over the years as Steve reached adulthood, but it hadn't gotten this bad until he got shipped off to war. The irony was that he had gone off to war to leave all his ailments and diseases behind while she got sick in his absence, and Steve couldn't help but feel some level of guilt about it.

There was a knock at the front door while Steve was washing some dishes and he dried his hands before crossing the kitchen to open it.

"Daniel," he said, shaking his friend's hand. "Thank you for coming by."

"I brought over the things you needed," he said, carrying in a paper grocery bag and placing it on the kitchen counter. "I also stopped by Starwood this morning and took care of the animals."

"Did you see Peggy today?"

Daniel nodded. "She's doing fine. I asked if she wanted to come with me to see you, but she said she didn't want to be in the way of you taking care of your mother."

"Oh," replied Steve, his heart sinking. "I suppose she's right."

Daniel looked at him with a little concern. "You alright, Steve?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah," he replied, rubbing the side of his temple. "It's just been a long few days away from home, is all."

"Is there anything else you need?"

"No, you've done more than enough, Daniel. Thank you."

He showed him to the door as Daniel stepped out.

"If you see Peggy again," Steve said before Daniel left, "can you let her know my mother is doing better and I should be coming home soon, possibly as early as tomorrow?"

"Sure thing, Steve. I'm glad to hear your mother's doing better. Tell her 'hi' for me."

"I will."

Steve closed the door and sighed. He had secretly been hoping every day that Peggy would accompany Daniel on his trips out here to help Steve with errands while he cared for his mother, but it sounded like she did not want to come. He tried to tell himself that Peggy's reason of not wanting to get in the way was true, but a voice in the back of his mind told him that it was because she didn't miss him and secretly wished he'd never come home.

He was unloading the grocery bag when he heard faint coughing coming from the other room. He went into his mother's room to check on her and discovered her sitting up, looking better than she had the last few days.

"Mother," said Steve as he came over to sit on the edge of her bed. "How are you feeling?"

She smiled weakly at him. "A lot better, dear. And I know that's thanks to you."

He took her hand and kissed it gently. "Don't mention it. I'd do anything to get you to feel better."

"Oh, don't worry so much about little old me," she remarked, waving him off. "Was someone at the door just now?"

"It was Daniel. He was dropping some stuff off for me. He says hi."

"That was sweet of him. But Peggy didn't come with him?"

"No…she said she didn't want to be in the way," he revealed with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Shame," Sarah mused morosely. "I bet you miss her, don't you?"

"I…I don't know, Mother," he sighed. "I'm sure she doesn't miss me."

"Nonsense. I could tell the last time you two were here that she thinks fondly of you."

"Hardly," huffed Steve. "If she did, wouldn't she be here?"

"Steven," said Sarah, using his full name to get his attention (which worked), "you have to stop spinning stories in your head about all the things that Peggy could be feeling or thinking, and just ask her. Marriage is communication, and without that you have no foundation and no leg to stand on."

"It's not –" Steve suddenly grew irritated and took a breath to calm himself. "It's not as easy as that, Ma. The circumstances of our marriage make everything so complicated and I never know what I should or shouldn't be doing at any given moment."

"What makes it complicated? The baby?"

"No, it has nothing to do with the baby."

"Then what?"

"It's the fact that I've had feelings for her for months and months and failed to mention that before we got married, and I feel like I wouldn't have persuaded her to marry me if that weren't the case, so I feel like the worst person in the world for that," he stated in one quick breath.

Sarah looked at him sadly and he couldn't stand her staring at him like that, so he leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

"Oh…Steve…" She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "Son, I…I had my suspicions that you liked her, but I didn't know you had such strong feelings for her."

He looked up at her with glassy eyes. "I think I love her."

Sarah smiled sadly. "I'm sure you do."

"I just…I feel like if I act friendly and affectionate toward her, I'm leading her on because I've had feelings for her that she doesn't know about," he explained carefully. "But I also can't stand to act distant around her, either, so I don't know which is right."

Sarah nodded slowly. "I see. And you never stopped to think she might have feelings for you, too?"

Steve blinked. "I…I don't know how that would be possible, given how she's stuck in this marriage because I tricked her into it. She would've never gone for me if I wasn't the only option."

"So she's never given you any indication of wanting something more than friendship with you? No…intimate moments, or knowing looks from her, that you've noticed?"

He swallowed at the question, not sure how much he wanted to truthfully reveal to his mother. "Well, uh…we were sleeping in separate rooms for the first week or two, but then Peggy started having trouble sleeping so she let me lay next to her at night. And every morning when I wake up, she's usually…close to me."

Sarah raised her eyebrows. "And that gives you no indication that she wants something more with you?"

"W-well," Steve spluttered, "no, I'm just doing her a favor and helping her get better sleep. Nothing's ever happened between us in those moments."

Sarah reached out and patted his knee patronizingly. "Sometimes, Steve, I don't know about you."

"What?" he argued hotly.

"You don't let someone you don't care about sleep next to you in bed every night! Even if nothing's happened yet, that doesn't mean she doesn't want it to. You just have to talk to her, Steve. Let her know how you feel and give her time to respond and see if she feels the same way."

"I'm scared of ruining what we have, though," he revealed timidly. "I like having this friendship with her, but I'm afraid revealing my true feelings to her will make things difficult and awkward and she'd be uncomfortable around me. I couldn't stand it if that happened, especially if you're wrong and she doesn't have feelings for me."

"Okay," said Sarah with finality as Steve could tell she was thinking of a solution. "What you need is an indication that she has feelings for you before you say anything to her, right? You've been away from her for a couple of days, and so if she has feelings for you, I'm sure she's missed you. So when you go back home, tomorrow or whenever that is, watch for a sign that she's missed you. I guarantee her reaction to you coming home will tell you all you need to know about how she feels about you."

Steve pondered his mother's words. "So I'm testing her, essentially? To see how she reacts when I come home after being gone for three days?"

"No, it's allowing yourself to see something that's always been right in front of you before you bare your soul to Peggy about your feelings for her."

Steve raised his eyebrows at that statement, but felt there was some truth to it. "I sure hope you're right, Ma."

Sarah reached out and squeezed his hand. "I'm your mother; I'm always right."

Steve smiled. "Wait, why are we sitting here debating this topic when you should be getting your rest?"

"Oh, I'm feeling better already," she said, dismissing him. "It does my old heart good to know my son's in love."

"Yeah, well, love ain't all it's cracked up to be," he huffed as he stood up and walked toward the door. "You get your rest, Ma, alright?"

"Alright. Love you, Steve."

"Love you too, Ma."


Peggy knew she should be excited that Steve was coming home that evening, as Daniel had relayed to her, but a million thoughts swirled in her mind as she went about her day and tried to ignore the crushing dread she felt in her stomach. It had been a long few days without Steve and she noticed that his absence reinforced the notion that she was starting to develop feelings for him. But the truth was, she felt increasingly nervous at the thought of him coming home because she was worried that his time away from her had made him realize he was better off without her. She knew it was a stupid thing to worry about, but being alone for so many days made Peggy's thoughts start to spin and she imagined the worst.

As a purple twilight began to descend on the house and fields, Peggy was finishing up tending to her growing vegetable garden when she heard the familiar rumble of Steve's truck. She looked up and saw him driving up the dirt road, and her heart pounded suddenly. She stood up and brushed the dirt off her apron, looking down and lamenting the fact that her hands were filthy.

The blue truck pulled up and Steve got out, looking around and seeing Peggy standing next to the planter boxes. He closed the door and walked over to her, stopping when he was a few feet away.

"Hi," he greeted with a small smile.

"Hi," she returned. "Is your mother doing better?"

"She's much better, thank you. She says she wants you to come see her."

Peggy smiled, but didn't say anything. Steve merely stood there for a moment and Peggy waited for him to say something, but he didn't either. She was expecting a little more enthusiasm from Steve as he had not seen her in several days, but he stood rooted to the spot. Were her fears right? Had Steve realized while he was away that he was better off without her and came home only because he had to? She frowned and cast her eyes downward, disappointed.

Steve caught her expression and his heart sank. His mother had suggested seeing how she reacts to him coming home after being away for so long, but so far it was a simple exchange of niceties and nothing more. When Peggy looked away from him sadly it confirmed the fact that she was disappointed to see him home and his heart felt like it was breaking.

"I'll just…" he started awkwardly, "I'll see you inside?"

He didn't wait for her to respond as he started to make his way toward the house.

"Do you want any supper, Steve?" she asked after him and he didn't look at her.

"No, I'm fine, thank you. I think I'm going to go to bed, actually." He got all the way to the front door before turning around to say one more thing to her. "I'll sleep in my own bed tonight, if that's alright with you. It's been a long few days and I'm pretty tired."

"O-oh…" responded Peggy, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Yes, of course."

And with that, he closed the door behind him and trudged up the stairs, waiting until he was out of sight from her to wipe away at a hot tear that stung the corner of his eye.