The Ordinary Days
A/N: Hello! Yes, I'm still alive! XD I got really busy with work the past couple of days and did not have the time/energy to do any editing, but today I finally have some down time. I will hopefully be a bit more regular with updating at least for the next few chapters.
The warnings below for this chapter are slightly spoiler-y so skip through them if you don't want any of the plot to be revealed (nothing too intense happens in this chapter, I promise).
WARNINGS: (Spoilers!) There are fears that Peggy might be losing the baby but it's not graphic. At the end of the chapter there is a heated moment between Steve and Peggy but does not go beyond kissing.
Chapter Nine
My dearest Michael,
I hope this letter reaches you as I'm not sure from your last note a few weeks ago if you're still in Toulon or not, but I decided to try my hardest to send you a message to say that I love you and miss you every day.
As you may have noticed by my return address, I am no longer living with Mother and Father. I hope you're sitting down as I reveal to you that Steve and I have inherited a farm out in Wilson. But not only that…I recently found out that I am going to have a baby. The whole thing is quite a long story; too long for this letter, I'm sure, but I will tell you all the details in person when you come home (in one piece, mind you). I know you haven't met him yet, but take comfort in the fact that Steve is an honorable man and he is taking care of me.
I must confess…I find myself at a low point as I write you this letter. Steve is a good man, as I mentioned, but I'm afraid that I have done him an unconscionable wrong for which I am trying to make it up to him. I believe he is upset with me, and rightly so - I hurt him deeply, and now we barely talk to or see one another. We have the occasional meal together, peppered with comments about the weather or our farm, but as soon as the last bite is had, we retreat silently to our separate rooms. It makes for a lonely existence and the side effects of this damn pregnancy haven't made it any easier.
I wish you were here so I could talk to you and seek your advice; I know you've never been married, but I know you always have the right things to say. If you have any indication of what I can do to fall back into the good graces of someone I care about deeply, then please write back with haste. I will await your answer and your return home to us happy and healthy.
Your loving sister,
Peggy
It was well into the middle of June when Peggy felt her misery had reached its peak. She was on the cusp of entering her second trimester but the first-trimester symptoms of morning sickness, exhaustion, and sudden mood swings were just as bad as ever. The loneliness of going through this pregnancy with no help from Steve or anyone was starting to get to her, and she found herself sleeping in later and later as she could not find the energy to get out of bed.
One day she woke up in the early afternoon to a quiet and empty house and she sighed morosely, knowing she could sleep through the whole day and Steve wouldn't care.
For the last several nights, Peggy's nightmares of a shadowy man bearing down on her began to return and she found herself waking up nearly every night screaming in terror. She wondered why Steve never bothered to check on her to see if she was okay. He was being so cold and distant toward her that she figured he must hate her. Perhaps he finally opened his eyes and realized she was a horrible person for lying to him about the baby and being away from her made him see how much better his life could have been without her. Once or twice the nightmares got so bad that as soon as she woke up she had to rush to the bathroom to throw up, her pregnancy exacerbating her feelings tenfold. And nearly every morning when she woke up, she cried into her pillow when she thought about just how alone she really was.
Unbeknownst to her, Steve could hear her crying out from the other room from that very first night. At first, when they started up again, he rushed into her room to find her tossing and turning in her bed, moaning and calling out for help. He thought about waking her up to spare her from her nightmare, but the thought of her asking him to sleep next to her while there was so much misery between them would be torture for Steve. So he painfully turned around and left the room, letting her toss and turn fitfully alone. Nearly every night after that, Steve would lie awake gripping the sheets as he listened to her scream and cry for help in the other room, wondering morosely just how much she hated him.
What happened between us? Peggy wondered dejectedly as she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. How did we get to this point? I was so afraid of telling Steve about my feelings because I didn't want our friendship to end, but our friendship ended anyway and I don't know why.
She got up and slowly began to dress for the day, wondering vaguely why she bothered. She remembered that she was planning on cleaning the attic as one of her projects to keep her busy, so she put on an older yellow dress that she didn't mind getting dusty. Peggy went out into the hallway and pulled down on the wooden ladder that came down from the ceiling which led to the attic. She carefully climbed up and looked around, seeing old boxes, dusty furniture, and piles of wood and junk scattered across the messy attic. She sighed and realized she had her work cut out for her.
In the middle of her cleaning, Peggy saw on the ground what looked like long pieces of wood nailed together but then when she picked it up, she realized it was an art easel. She pulled the wooden beams apart and propped it up, stepping back to look at it. It looked like it was in pretty good condition, so she felt it would be worth keeping.
Suddenly Peggy remembered Steve telling her one day that he loved to draw and paint, and it occurred to her that she had never seen him do so because he did not have any proper supplies. She looked back at the easel and wondered if Steve would want it.
Maybe I could use this as a sort of gesture of goodwill to rekindle our friendship, she thought, taking out a rag and dusting it off. I can surprise Steve with it and show him that I want him to be happy, even if he's stuck married to me.
Peggy smiled at the idea of surprising him with it; perhaps she could even search the attic for some paint or brushes he could use. She picked up the easel and felt it was heavy and kind of bulky to carry. She probably shouldn't be attempting to carry this by herself, she thought, but how else was she going to get it downstairs without Steve seeing?
She gathered it up in her arms and started carefully climbing down the narrow steps one by one. She was almost to the bottom step when suddenly she felt a sharp, stabbing pain in her abdomen, causing her to drop the easel and it clattered loudly to the floor. Peggy took the last step down to the floor and leaned back against the ladder, holding her stomach. Another sharp pain ripped through her abdomen and she doubled over, breathing hard. Panic flooded her mind as she realized something was probably happening to the baby because she had been carrying something so heavy.
Peggy heard the sound of footsteps and looked up to see Steve rushing up the stairs, looking at her with concern.
"Peggy? I heard something fall; are you alright?"
Peggy could see the panic flooding his face when he saw her doubled over in pain.
"I…I don't know," she answered earnestly, breathing hard. "I was carrying something when all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain…"
The pain increased suddenly and she cried out, clutching her stomach.
"Whoa," said Steve as he grasped her arms to look at her. "It's okay, just breathe. We need to take you to the doctor to make sure the baby's okay. Can you make it down to the truck?"
"I can try," she said through gritted teeth, and Steve held out his arm to help her walk. She took a few steps but had to stop as another searing pain ripped through her.
"No, Steve, I can't do it," she gasped out, wincing from the pain and clutching his arm tightly. She looked at Steve in alarm. "Oh, God, what if I'm losing the baby?"
"It's gonna be okay," said Steve as he looked at her, trying to think of what to do. "I can carry you down to the truck? Will you let me do that?"
Peggy wanted to argue, but the pain was too much so she nodded sharply. Steve scooped her up in his arms like she was nothing and he carried her carefully down the stairs, rushing out of the front door as she winced in pain again.
"Almost there," he said reassuringly and he hurried out to the truck. He helped Peggy get into the passenger side and then rushed to the other side to start the engine. As soon as the engine roared to life he peeled out of the yard and down the dirt path, accelerating the old truck as fast as it would let him.
Peggy cried out in pain again as another sharp pain hit her stomach. Steve reached over to her while trying to keep his eyes on the road.
"Here, grab my hand," he said as she did so. "I promise you won't hurt me no matter how hard you squeeze."
"You wanna bet?" she asked through gritted teeth as she gripped his hand tightly.
Every minute on the road felt like hours even though Steve was driving the fastest he had ever driven in his life, saying comforting words to Peggy despite her ignoring him as she tried to breathe through the pain. They finally made it to Denver in record time and Steve drove up to the front of the hospital, calling out to the nurses inside for help. They rushed out with a wheelchair and helped Peggy into it as they wheeled her into the building, Steve following closely.
"I'm twelve weeks pregnant," Peggy told the nurse who scribbled something down on a clipboard.
"Okay, Miss…?"
"Mrs.," corrected Peggy through gritted teeth as she clutched at her stomach. She caught the slight raise of eyebrows that Steve gave out of the corner of her eye. "Mrs. Peggy Rogers."
"Mrs. Rogers, we're going to do what we can to see what's going on with your baby, okay? We'll take you in to see the doctor right away."
Steve tried to follow them in but one of the nurses stopped him.
"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to wait in the waiting room while the doctor examines her. Are you her husband?"
"Yes, but is she going to be alright?" he implored, and the nurse gave him a sad smile.
"I don't know yet, but we'll do everything we can to save them both, okay?"
Steve nodded and said with pleading eyes, "Please do whatever it takes."
Waiting in the desolate, white-walled reception room was agony as worst-case scenario after worst-case scenario flooded Steve's mind. But finally, after a few hours Steve recognized Dr. Roberts coming out of the double doors and he approached Steve.
"Steve? Your wife is resting now."
Steve jumped up out of his chair. "Wha–she's okay?"
"Yes, she and the baby are both fine. We got her pain to subside and our tests indicated it was gas pain brought on by severe indigestion. But we'd like to keep her overnight just to make sure she's okay."
Steve exhaled slowly. "Thank you so much, Dr. Roberts. May I see her?"
"She's asleep, but yes, you may go see her. Just make sure you let her get some rest; she's had a harrowing day and stress is bad for the baby."
"Of course. Thank you again, doctor."
A nurse led Steve to the small recovery room Peggy was assigned to and when he walked in he saw she was fast asleep in her hospital bed. He sank into the small wooden chair next to her and thanked his lucky stars that both she and the baby were okay.
He sat with her for an hour or two while she moved a little in her sleep, and Steve hoped she wasn't having any nightmares. He felt like the world's biggest jerk as he thought back to the nightmares he had let her suffer through over the past few weeks and decided he was done with letting her sleep alone. If she wanted him to be with her when she couldn't sleep, then by all means he would oblige her no matter how he was feeling.
After a while Steve's eyes started to droop and he nodded off, not caring how uncomfortable the chair was given how exhausted the intense emotions of the day made him.
"Steve?"
Steve jerked awake some time later, looking over at Peggy and realizing she was awake. He leaned forward and grasped her hand gently.
"Hey," he said softly. "How do you feel?"
Peggy blinked slowly. "I'm tired, but I think I'm okay. The doctor must've given me something to help me sleep because I knocked out."
"Yeah, you've been out for a couple hours. But the doctor said you and the baby are both fine."
Peggy nodded. "Yes, he said something about gas pains and indigestion? Boy, pregnancy…Be glad you never have to experience it."
Steve lightly stroked her hand with his thumb. "Are you in any pain?"
"No, but they've probably got me on the good drugs," she joked, which made Steve chuckle. He internally realized it was probably the first time he had cracked a genuine smile in weeks.
"You still need your rest, though. Sleep for a while and I'll wake you up in the morning and we can go home."
Her brown eyes locked with his. "You won't go anywhere?"
"I'll be right here the whole time," he promised, squeezing her hand.
Peggy smiled. "Okay."
She closed her eyes and drifted back off to sleep a moment later. Steve sighed and felt immense relief that she had woken up and seemed okay. Finally relaxing a bit, Steve leaned back in his chair and let exhaustion overcome him.
A few more tests were run the next morning and finally by lunchtime, Dr. Roberts determined Peggy and the baby to be healthy, so he said they could go home. Steve helped her into the truck and he drove home a lot more slowly this time than he had to the hospital. Peggy nodded off a little ways into the drive and Steve let her sleep, knowing the medication they gave her was still making her drowsy.
When the familiar yellow farmhouse finally came into view, Steve parked carefully and opened his door, not daring to slam it shut because Peggy was still sleeping. He went around to her side and quietly opened her door, carefully gathering her up into his arms and carrying her into the house.
She rested her head against his shoulder as Steve took her all the way up the stairs to her room and settled her gently on her bed. He undid the buckles on her shoes and slipped them off her feet, quietly placing them on the floor next to her, then pulled a few blankets up to cover her. Steve watched her for a moment as she slept peacefully, her brow slightly furrowed and her lips parted. Without really thinking, Steve leaned down and kissed her softly on top of her forehead, to which she hummed a little and the corners of her lips turned up slightly.
Steve turned to leave the room until he heard a soft, "Steve?" He turned back around and saw Peggy looking up at him sleepily with concern in her eyes.
"Get some rest, Peggy," he suggested gently. "I'll be right downstairs if you need me."
"Could you come lay next to me?"
Steve blinked at her. "You want me to? Are you afraid you'll have a nightmare?"
Peggy sat up a little and shook her head. "No, I…I just want to be held by you."
There was a pleading in Peggy's eyes that made Steve's heart flutter a little. Wordlessly, he unlaced his shoes and took them off, setting his next to hers on the floor, and he climbed into bed next to her. He laid onto his side facing her and she turned on her side to face him, staring into his eyes.
Steve looked back at her and gave her a look of sadness. "I was afraid for a minute there that I was going to lose you or the baby. Or both."
Peggy's brow furrowed in confusion. "You were scared to lose the baby? Even though it's not yours?"
Steve nodded slowly. "You're my wife, and it's my wife's baby, so even though it's not mine biologically, it's still our baby. I don't care what anyone says; you're carrying our child and I don't know what I would have done if I had lost either of you today."
Peggy looked deeply into his eyes for a moment, clearly touched by what he had said. Then, she put a hand on the side of his cheek and pulled him in for a kiss.
Steve's lips felt as good on hers as she had remembered, but this kiss was different – rather than their last kiss which came from a place of passion and desperation, this one came from appreciation for what he had done and sorrow for the way she had acted toward him over the last few weeks. Steve returned it in equal sentiment and Peggy knew he was wordlessly trying to apologize to her as well.
She deepened the kiss and Steve brought a hand to her upper arm, pulling her in closer to him slightly. The apologetic kiss started to become something more and Peggy's heart began to race as Steve moved his hand from her arm to the side of her head, burying his fingers in her soft curls. He gently applied pressure with his hand to pull her lips even closer to his and she obliged. Steve broke apart from her and began kissing her neck, which drew out a soft moan from within her. She moved her hand to his upper back and pulled his body in closer to hers as he left a trail of kisses from her jaw down to the top of her collarbone.
The skin of her neck where Steve kissed her felt like it was on fire and Peggy started to breathe heavily. Steve's hand wandered slowly from her hair to her shoulder to her hip, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind wherever he touched her. When his hand traveled lower to her thigh, Peggy moved her leg up to rest her thigh and calf on top of Steve's hip. Steve instinctively grasped her thigh and he let his mouth travel down to the center of her chest just above the fabric of her dress.
"Oh, Steve," she moaned out breathlessly as she felt his lips at her décolletage. He stopped and looked up at her, panting slightly.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked softly, gazing intensely into her eyes.
"I…Uh…"
Without his lips on her, Peggy could think clearly enough for a minute to take a mental step back and look at what was happening. With her leg wrapped around Steve's body, his lips starting to visibly swell from kissing, and their bodies barely an inch apart, she found herself suddenly a little apprehensive of how passionate this was getting.
"I think it's…getting a little too intense," she admitted. "Can we…slow down?"
Steve blinked, then looked down at her and he was hit with the realization that they had gotten this far. He looked a little sheepish as he took his hand off her thigh.
"Y-yes, of course."
She moved her leg off of his and he scooted an inch or two away from her, embarrassed that he had pulled her in so close.
"I didn't mean to stop altogether," huffed Peggy, but Steve gave her a serious look.
"No, you're right – it was getting to be too much when I should be letting you get your rest. You were in the hospital an hour ago; you should try to get some more sleep."
Peggy sighed. "I guess you're right. Are you…?"
"I'll stay here," he said, reading her mind. He adjusted to lie flat on his back and extended his arm out to her. "No more sleeping alone if you don't want to."
A smile filled her face as she rested her head against his shoulder in their familiar embrace. "Thank you."
He pulled the disheveled covers back up over the two of them and exhaled as he got comfortable. It didn't take long for the two of them to fall into the best sleep they had gotten in weeks.
A/N: All I can say about the next chapter is…y'all are not ready. ;)
