Version #2

Number 27 (Looks Just Like You)

"YERDUA is calling for us."

The sixteen-year-old brother and eleven year old sister stopped their game of Chinese

checkers on the bedroom floor and walked to their mother's bedroom door. The other

sixteen year old in this house couldn't hear a damn thing that was going on as the shower

wouldn't turn off and the door wouldn't open.

"It's happening." She stated. Her old mall clothes were on the bed and she was wearing the

customary black leotard with fishnet stockings and moderately high heels. Her nametag

said "Yerdua". And she was more gorgeous then she ever had been. Her raven hair was

shiny and in a modern cut. Her eyes sultry and her legs were long to seduce the men folk.

The Orb granted their wishes.

The smart and revenge oriented little girl and the playa older brother were one step closer

to getting rid of their respective Earthly labels.

"Do you know what you have to do?"

He asked her as they got back into position on the floor in front of their board game that

held no meaning to them.

"Yes."

"Guys! Didn't you hear me screaming? Asked Josh entering the room in his robe.

"Did you get your toe caught in the drain again?" Drake asked

"No. The shower wouldn't shut off and the door wouldn't open. I called and called. How

come you guys didn't hear me?"

"We were busy playing. I'm out of here. This room smells like boy anyway."

"Say, Josh, why don't we go to the Premiere? You don't have work we could see a movie."

He loved that brotherly bonding crap.

"Okay."

It was the last time Josh Nichols' world would make any sense.

Three hours later:

Josh wondered where Drake went as he entered the living room to see a woman from the back

cleaning the bookshelves with a pink feather duster. She had on a skimpy French maids uniform.

Like the kind you see in Fredrick's of Hollywood catalogues. When she turned around Josh tried to

repress the hard-on. His cheeks got rosy red when he realized it was his Mother.

"MOM! I didn't know that was you?"

"Mom? My name is Doe," she pointed to her nametag, "You must be Josh. We were expecting

you?"

"Excuse me?"

This was his home and someone who looked like his Mother's identical twin was a maid who told

him that he was expected?

"No one is going to harm you. I'm going to go in the kitchen and whip you up a batch of Instant

Smile. Why don't you look through the catalogue?"

Catalogue? It was hardly the Sears-Roebuck. It was one of those two-sided books. The first side of

this heavy coffee table bound book had a pink cover and said WOMEN on it and when you turned

it over MEN (appearing upside down) on the other side.

Josh opened up to the men's side and nearly threw up when he noticed Drake's headshot.

Underneath his picture was the number #27 and many five star customer reviews raving about that

particular model.

"That's a very popular selection." Drake sat next to him. But he wasn't dressed in his usual t-shirt

and jeans. Josh put the book down and went to sit on the chair across from him.

"Go away—"

"I'm not going to hurt you. If I was going to I could've done so already." His shirt was dark blue

looked like something off of Star Trek, but without the symbols and his pants were thin spandex

pegs. He was wearing a nametag that said "Drake" on it.

"What in the Hell is going on?"

Doe came in with two cups of Instant Smile.

"This will chase your blues away. Drink up…"

"Drake…"

"No, it's EKARD. The nametags are just for Earthly inventory purposes. Your name is HSOJ."

The adolescent nametags were spelled normally, it was only the older ones that were backwards

seeming.

"I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK YOUR FUCKING INSTANT SMILE!"

"It doesn't have to be like this. Bye-bye."

From the window Josh noticed two teenage boys that looked exactly like Drake jogging down the

street with nametags that he couldn't make out clipped to their track jackets.

#27 was a very popular selection.

Then there was a little girl playing with a puppy who looked Megan who waved to him from the

house across the street.

Josh knew it wasn't Megan at all.

In the basement:

"EKARD for YERDUA." He said into the intercom matter-of-factly.

Buttons were pressed and the door was opened as YDNIM slept in the circular chamber.

"He's not cooperating."

"Did you tell him about the promise of eternity?"

"No. He wouldn't let me."

"You watch over YDNIM. I'll tend to HSOJ."

YERDUA walked into the living room to find one book off the shelf, "Doe, please put this book

away. I will not live in filthy surroundings."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"You people are too lazy nowadays."

Josh couldn't get out of the house. The doors wouldn't open. The windows wouldn't break.

"I don't appreciate you throwing about my fine things."

The one emotion Audrey felt was the love of luxurious material possessions.

"You're NOT my MOM! STAY AWAY!"

"You are right. I am NOT your Mom. But I can take you to a much better place. Imagine a place

with no wars—and everyone is beautiful and no one asks any questions. And imagine eternal youth

and life."

"I want to leave." He replied in his most calm tone.

"See you'll get better results when you talk to people with respect. But you'll see all of the houses

are connected. Those who didn't want eternal life are now LOST somewhere."

"DAD!"

"RETLAW had his chance."

"Why are the names backwards?"

"No. They're forwards. It's the society you are thinking of that makes them appear the way you

think they should be."

The youth selection used the backwards terminology, but weren't granted the right to wear it on

their nametags without The Orb advancing them to the next level.

And the servants they were just ordinary obedient ugly(!) menial folk

A woman appeared on the porch holding an empty bone white china sugar bowl. She was dressed

in the leotard and tights like Audrey expect her nametag said "Ecila".

Mrs. Hafer?

But she was just as pretty as Audrey was?

Why couldn't her body have stayed the same?

"Hello, Mrs. Hafer."

"It's ECILA. And I don't teach anymore. I don't have to. May I borrow a cup of sugar,

YERDUA?"

"Of course."

#38 in the catalogue was extremely popular. Even the lone African-American woman in the

community, NELEH chose it.

"We're all happy. And we are honored to live forever."

"Then why does Ali—I mean ECILA need sugar?"

"We can eat if we choose."

NAGEM came down the stairs wearing a mini skirt and a halter-top.

The number "4" was pinned to her shirt with the words, "Replace label." underneath it.

"Megan?" Josh felt woozy and went to sit down on the sofa again.

He kept hoping that this was a dream. This could not be happening. Maybe, he took acid and didn't

know it and his body was tripping? Maybe, Megan's smoke sleep in a can was more toxic than she

thought and he was in a coma dream.

Maybe—fuck.

"It's NAGEM." Her hair was blonde and in a ponytail. Her eyes were green. She was older than

she was before!

How could this even be possible?

"Go in the lab and tell EKARD to print out your new label."

"Yes, YERDUA."

"You know pardon my naivety but for all this talk about happiness none of you people seem like

you actually are."

Audrey sat next to him on the sofa crossing her legs in a seductive position.

"Because you are confusing what you think is happiness to what happiness really is. You saw CIRE

and GIARC jogging and EITAK playing with her puppy."

Josh stood up. His head was pounding. Maybe he could make it easier on all of them and just drop

dead on the spot.

"Well, that's all fine—YERDUA," Josh said sarcastically, "But if there is all this abounding love how

come my FATHER is dead?"

"Because RETLAW had no respect the universe. The Orb is not mocked. Negativity is not allowed.

And in return we live forever. There is no sickness. No crime. Everything is perfect as it should be.

Do you want to get in the lovemaking position?"

He didn't know what was worse. The fact that the woman he grew to love as his mother said such

thing or that it was said with absolutely no emotion. Like she was following a command from that

thing known as The Orb.

"NO! That is SICK! How can you even ask that?"

"HSOJ, I suggest you go upstairs in your room and sleep it over. You don't have much time to

decide."

Back in the lab:

The sedative wore off and Mindy was feverishly banging on the chamber.

"LET ME OUT!" She said

Her cries muffled or otherwise were not moving anyone in the room to open the chamber.

"Get HSOJ and bring him to me." YERDUA said to EKARD and NAGEM.

To them sleep meant nothing. Five minutes was the same as five hours.

Josh was surprised that he did fall asleep in the plain room that bore no resemblance to his and

Drake's room at all. It was empty except for a row of standard issue single beds. It looked like a

bland hospital room.

"We've come for you." EKARD said

He missed the devil-may-care smile on his brother's face.

These things were NOT his family. They just weren't.

What didn't surprise him was the strength they possessed. Of course in this tale his hands and feet

could move as Drake and Megan carried him into the basement.

"Why are you resisting?" Drake said in a mildly raised voice when Josh nearly fainted after seeing

Mindy being held captive in the sleeping chamber.

"MINDY! I'll GET YOU OUT!"

"HSOJ! Stop fighting this and it will all be over with and done with before you know it." He stayed

seated on the ground as Drake took a shoe box off the shelf were the laundry detergent used to be.

"Look at this photograph."

"I'm confused," He wiped the tears from his eyes, "Why do you have a picture of Eric in your shoe

box?"

"That's NOT CIRE. That's ME! I was the school nerd! The cool guys who wouldn't let me sit at

their lunch table picked on me—I did well in school, but all I wanted was to be popular and cool.

It was a few months ago when YERDUA told me about The Plan and I latched onto it, HSOJ! I

was Drake to the outside and EKARD to our secret society. I FINALLY belonged. I am good

looking, I can play the guitar, sing, and I have many, many girlfriends that I have no feelings for. And

you can have this peace of mind too! We had to take YDNIM because her parents resisted and

wound up with RETLAW spinning somewhere outside the Earth with the rest of the non-believers.

Soon the years will go by and the only thing we will feel as we move from family to family and place

to place is eternal PEACE of mind!"

NAGEM held up the portion of the female faces in the catalogue to Mindy. Who by now had

stopped panicking about wanting out of the chamber.

Her finger was shakily pointing as YERDUA nodded her head in agreement.

"This shant hurt a bit." She took the cell phone out of her pocket to call for the Doctor.

3 Hours later:

"I can't believe I was frightened over nothing! Number 4. I look just like you. Will you be my best

friend?"

"Of course."

The words were meaningless just as their new eternal lives were.

And they went off in single file to stare at the television in the living room to watch the latest teen

serial.

Josh made his decision. The question didn't matter how could Eric (in #27) be outside jogging if

Drake really was Eric?

The real thought of the matter was he didn't want to let them go. "YERDUA?"

"Yes, HSOJ?"

"Call the Doctor and tell him to come back. I want to get this done as soon as possible. I choose

number 27."

EKARD smiled as he played his acoustic guitar into the night.

HSOJ was going to look just like him.

Page 20 of the Men's Catalogue

Model #: 27