"SNIPER AT WORK," read the highway sign as they crossed into Crossmaglen.
Driving straight through the populated city itself, Jimmy continued south on Cullaville Road before turning off onto a beaten path. The butterflies in Catherine's stomach were working overtime as a house at the end of the path came into sight. This would mark the first time she was meeting volunteers in a different brigade without Patrick by her side and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't intimidated. Not having gotten the approval of the Council to be formally sworn in yet, Catherine knew the men of South Armagh would be watching her carefully; sizing her up. She trusted that Jimmy wouldn't have allowed her to come with if she wouldn't get the seal of approval from the other Provos.
As they pulled up to the house, Catherine took a deep, calming breath to settle her nerves. Four Irishmen stepped out on to the porch and she couldn't help but chuckle at the fact they were identically dressed: dark wash jeans, thick camouflage jackets, and flat caps. By now, Catherine was certain Northern Ireland was keeping the camouflage industry booming.
Feeling the anxiousness radiating off Catherine, Jimmy grabbed her hand and held it tight.
"Ye've got the blokes in Belfast eatin' from the palm of yer hand. Ye'll have these lads doin' the same before the day is gone."
She hoped he was right.
There was one piece of information Jimmy was hiding from her that he knew would calm her down, but he decided to keep it to himself. While he hated watching her feel like an outsider, he didn't want to tell her that over the past week, the Council finally voted her into the ranks. He wanted to keep it a secret and have her formally sworn in on New Year's Eve; her eighteenth birthday. There was no better way he could think of for her to enter adulthood than to have that beret placed upon her head.
Following Jimmy's lead, Catherine unclasped her seatbelt and stepped out into the damp winter air. As the four men jumped off the porch to greet Jimmy with a series of handshakes and brotherly slaps to the back, Catherine minded her own business and grabbed the duffle he had put her in charge of from the back seat. After sitting for over an hour, it felt good to stretch her legs. Feeling slightly awkward and out of place, Catherine inched her way towards Jimmy, not wanting to stray too far.
"Gentlemen," Jimmy gestured towards Catherine, which caught her attention. "Catherine O'Toole."
As Jimmy made the introductions, their names sounded familiar to her.
"Ye Paddy O'Toole's daughter?" Sean Campbell asked.
Sean had been Patrick's cellmate in Long Kesh. He could remember how the young father glued photos of Catherine to the wall and never stopped talking about how he couldn't wait to hold his wee baby girl.
Catherine swallowed hard, "aye, the one and only."
What confused her the most was how he just nodded and proceeded to walk away. She realized the fighting men of Crossmaglen were sizing her up and that did nothing to calm the butterflies.
Placing his hand on her lower back, Jimmy ushered Catherine into the house and up the stairs so he could change out of his dress clothes. The wood creaked with every step they took and he pointed her in the direction of a vacant bedroom at the end of the hall. Once inside, Catherine tossed the duffle on the bed, watching curiously as Jimmy began to dig through it.
"If yer gonna shoot Provo weapons," he pulled out a pair of dark camouflage pants, a black sweater, and brand new, shiny Dr. Marten boots. "Ye gotta look the part, a chuisle."
Catherine beamed with pure joy and wrapped her arms around Jimmy's neck for a tight hug. The simple gesture meant the world to her. Jimmy knew she had worn such holes into the previous pants she owned they had to be thrown away. Even though he had been handsomely compensating Catherine for the work she had been doing for him over the last year, she had been saving nearly every cent of it, looking to move out on her own the moment she graduated in the spring. She was also helping Olivia and Patrick pay off Patrick's legal fees after he had arrested the previous year.
Expensive boots and new clothes weren't at the top of her expense list.
With everything she had done for him without question thus far, she earned the boots, Jimmy concluded. Seeing her light up brighter than Christmas morning only made it that much sweeter for him.
"Thank ye, so much." Her words were muffled as her mouth was pressed against his shoulder.
The sweet fragrance of her shampoo seared into Jimmy's memory as he kissed her head. Catherine broke from the hug, excited to get into her new clothes.
While unbuttoning his dress shirt, Jimmy didn't attempt to be sly in watching Catherine undress. All the blood drained from his head and circulated below his waist as Catherine pulled her sweater and undershirt over her head. The bra she wore was lace and unlined, but the deep green color of the material hindered his chance to see any nipple. It made Jimmy feel like a dirty pervert when all he could think about was kneading her heavy breasts. He just about died when she wiggled her hips out of her jeans to reveal she was wearing matching panties.
Catherine turned around and reached over the bed to grab the pants Jimmy had bought for her. With her back to him, she didn't see how he went bug eyed when he saw the emerald lace barely covered her shapely ass. Jimmy marveled at how the deep green tone emphasized the creaminess of her unblemished skin. Taking a deep breath, Jimmy crossed himself and quietly huffed, "forgive me, Father, for I'm about 'ta sin."
"Jimmy!" She squealed, as he pushed her down on the bed and rolled her over. When he crawled over her body, Catherine's heart nearly exploded it was beating so hard and fast. He ran a hand up her abdomen to her neck, where he grabbed the side of it firmly to keep her head steady.
Lowering his lips to her ear, Jimmy licked the shell of it before speaking lowly. "Ye've no idea how fuckin' insane ya make me. I haven't been able 'ta stop thinkin' about ya since last night."
His voice reminded her of gravel and her mind was sent spinning when she felt his tongue lick the length of her throat. Catherine swore she saw stars when he traced the wet mark along the crotch of her panties.
What the hell happened to the events of the previous night being a mistake and shouldn't have happened? Catherine thought as she ran her fingers through his hair.
She wasn't going to open her mouth and question him; she finally had Jimmy where she wanted him. His moral battle wasn't her problem and she sure as hell wasn't about to open her mouth and ask what made him come around.
Inching back down her body, Jimmy slunk off the mattress and onto his knees. Gripping her magnificent calves, he gave one good yank to bring her closer to him. A million thoughts were running through Catherine's head but, the feeling of Jimmy's hands caressing her length of legs and hips pretty much wiped her hard-drive clean. She lightly bit down on her long thumb nail when she felt him ease her panties off of her.
While it was by no means how she ever envisioned her first time having a man go down on her, that didn't bother her in the slightest. A firm believer in fate, she knew life was messy and things happened when they did for a reason.
Tossing her panties onto the bed, Jimmy pushed Catherine's legs apart where immediately he began to kiss the inside of her hairless thighs. His head was swimming from her intoxicatingly sweet and musky scent and it overloaded his senses. She was shaved which only added to his eagerness to dive in. Reaching beneath her to cup her ass and bringing his face to her, Jimmy mentally grinned with satisfaction as he heard Catherine let out a shaky, "fuck."
The foreign sensation of Jimmy's hot, wet tongue lapping her pulsating core nearly made Catherine explode.
Reality shattered as Jimmy was teased with only a single taste. They were interrupted by a fist pounding on the locked door. A voice with a heavy Cork accent rang out,
"Jimmy, boy! We're all set 'ta go, just walk on over when 'yer done."
Just as fast as they had been interrupted, they heard heavy footsteps trot down the stairs. Catherine wasn't sure which part of the entire situation to address first so she spoke the first thing that came to her mind.
"Is it jus' me or do people from Cork speak a few octaves higher than the rest of the country?"
At least she earned herself a throaty laugh from Jimmy.
Grabbing the bipod and balancing it along the back of his neck, Jimmy grabbed the bag stuffed to the gills with ammunition and kicked the back door of the SUV closed. He did something that shocked Catherine to her core. As they began their descent down the gravel drive to the empty field, Jimmy grabbed Catherine's hand, lacing his fingers with hers. She dipped her head to hide the fact her cheeks had lit up bright red.
They walked hand-in-hand to the middle of a field and Catherine scoped out the targets that had been set up several hundred yards away. Jimmy snapped his fingers to catch her attention and pointed to the several cases beside him as he set up the Barrett rifle.
She knew exactly what to do and without having to be told, Catherine inspected the other Armalites. After she snapped in the magazines and made sure they were all chambered and ready to go, Jimmy introduced her to the new toy.
Catherine had a hard time focusing as Jimmy walked her through the firing process. The man oozed testosterone and she couldn't ignore the damp heat between her legs. She licked her lips hungrily at the sight of Jimmy's thick thighs testing the strength of the inseam of his pants. Her eyes followed the slight bulges of his biceps, leaving her to wonder just how strong he truly was. Not to mention, she loved that he was wearing his hair slightly longer these days. Although his sideburns had started to show signs of graying, Catherine wanted nothing more than to run her fingers through those chocolate locks.
Shaking the lust from her head, Catherine concentrated on Jimmy's instructions. She knew that if she didn't and she screwed up, it would be the last time for a long time she even so much as looked at a firearm. He was lying prone on his stomach, the butt of the rifle in the pocket of his shoulder.
"Ya close yer eyes and open 'em. If yer not staring directly down the scope when ya open, yer not positioned properly." Jimmy instructed. He held the position for a moment as Catherine walked around him, studying, committing it to memory. She moved behind him and crossed her arms over her chest as he pulled the bolt, chambering a round.
Jimmy took a deep breath, steadying his body and mind. Being left-handed, he closed his right eye to line up the watermelon in the crosshair of his scope. Jimmy mumbled, "O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not my enemies triumph over me."
He curled his finger around the trigger and pulled.
Catherine instantly regretted her decision not to put her earplugs in. The thundering burst of the round exploding from the muzzle startled her, causing her to slightly jump. Jimmy smiled jubilantly at the sight of the absolutely obliterated watermelon. Catherine would be lying if she said she wasn't impressed. The target had been set up nearly two-hundred yards away and he hit the watermelon dead-on like it was nothing. She hadn't seen him do that in nearly a decade.
That was what Catherine aspired to be.
Even though it was a fantastic shot, she still had to bust his balls. "Still got it, ol' man."
"Fuck ye," Jimmy shot back as he pushed himself up to his feet. "Yer turn. I'm gonna have ya just shoot it first, 'ta get a feel. Don't worry about hittin' anythin'."
Catherine eyed the watermelon Jimmy destroyed as she slid one hot pink foam earplug in. She remained stoic and looked Jimmy in the eye.
"Give me a target."
"Caitie," Jimmy started.
He recognized the expression on her face; she was feeling the pressure. Feeling that she had something to prove to him when that was the farthest from the truth. It had only been a year since she started training and Jimmy didn't expect her to match the skill he had learned in the military. He didn't want to deal with her shitty and frustrated attitude when she missed. Jimmy never understood why she put such high expectations on herself but nonetheless, it was a trait he greatly admired. She never settled on being second best.
Not wanting to fight her on it, Jimmy just shook his head and signaled to the two men in the distance to set up another watermelon. Catherine put in her other earplug as she laid on her belly. She felt her knees sink into the soft earth while she adjusted the butt of the rifle so it sat in the pocket of her shoulder. Jimmy reminded her to keep her heels planted so she turned her feet outwards. Heading his instructions, Catherine tucked and tilted her head, and then closed her eyes, quickly popping them open. When she found herself staring directly down the scope, she knew she was properly in position.
Pulling the bolt, Catherine ejected Jimmy's spent casing and loaded a fresh round. She could feel Jimmy's intimidating eyes bearing down on her but, she refused to allow it to mess with her concentration.
Just as she pushed the last bit of air from her lungs, Catherine pulled the trigger.
With his arms crossed over his chest, Jimmy refused to let the expression of shock and awe show a single trace on his face as the watermelon exploded. He couldn't believe she managed to hit the watermelon one-hundred-and-fifty yards away.
Sean Campbell smacked Jimmy's bicep as he lit a cigarette. "She grew up wit' Paddy and Filip; of course she was gonna hit that damn target."
Catherine was as quiet as a church mouse when she snuck into the house sometime after two in the morning. Closing and locking the door behind her, Catherine hung up her damp coat and tucked her shoes away in the closet. Just as she slid the closet door closed, the light in the living room popped on, scaring her half to death.
"Christ, Da," Catherine placed a hand on her chest, feeling her spike of adrenaline enhancing all of her senses. "Ye scared me, ya did."
Patrick didn't say a word to Catherine. He simply leaned forward in his chair, placing his forearms on his knees as he looked at the ground. He shook his head trying to figure out what he was going to say; staying out five hours past curfew on a school night was completely out of character for Catherine. She was with a boy, he knew that much for sure, and he was praying that male was Lorcan McInnes and not Jimmy.
When Patrick ran a hand through his hair, Catherine noticed his orange roots standing out amongst the jet black strands. She would have to dye it again for him soon.
"Do I wanna know where ya were?" He asked.
Catherine saw the pained expression twist on her father's face. Once upon a time, she had been daddy's little girl and it was becoming harder for Patrick to watch Catherine fall down the same rabbit hole he had. Patrick felt like he was watching Catherine dangling into that hole, her fingers desperately clawing at the surface in an attempt save herself but, Jimmy O was stepping on her fingers and watching gleefully as she slowly let go.
In his thirty-seven years of life, Patrick had spent nearly a decade of them locked up in the cells of Long Kesh. Not only was he locked up on the day of Catherine's birth, but he would end up missing another five of her birthday's because he had been dodging warrants, hiding out in the Republic. He missed Christmases, and too many Easter Sundays to count. He also lived with the heavy guilt that on three occasions, Liam, Brien, and Catherine had to witness him being dragged from bed in the middle of the night, beaten in the street, and then arrested by the RUC.
He did not want what he's gone through to be Catherine's reality. She deserved to live out her days in freedom and not behind bars.
What burdened Patrick's soul the most, however, was the fact that no matter how hard he tried to keep Catherine off the same path he chose, it was his own actions that drove her to it. While to some degree Patrick blamed Filip for even bringing Jimmy O into his daughter's life, if he hadn't been in and out of Long Kesh when Catherine needed Patrick most, she never would have turned to Jimmy.
He had been serving a four-year stint for assault around the time Jimmy tried to kill Filip so even he was oblivious to what caused Jimmy to finally snap. A year ago when Catherine had been attacked on her walk home from school—the driving incident that led her to want to join the IRA—Patrick had been laying low in County Kerry after he found out he was wanted for questioning in a murder. Had he been at home and had he been a better father, Catherine would have gone to Patrick after her attack. He would have made sure Catherine never got a taste of the Provo life, which flowed thick in her Irish blood.
Pushing her hair out of her face, Catherine took a deep breath. She didn't want to lie to Patrick considering he had always been honest with her when she asked him questions. So, she figured she'd let him decide what he wanted to hear. "Ye want me 'ta say I was wit' Lorcan? Or do ya want the truth?"
If he wanted the truth, Catherine was more than willing to give it to him.
Patrick stood up, his knees popping in the process, and closed the empty space between the two of them. He rested his back against the wall in the hallway. As much as he wanted Catherine to tell him she had been with her quasi-boyfriend, Patrick needed to hear every gritty detail of the truth. He needed to know just how much trouble she was in.
"The God's honest truth."
"I went 'ta Crossmaglen wit' Jimmy. We got a bite and then hung out at his."
She didn't hesitate nor did she break her eye contact, but Patrick knew there was more and he feared it. He couldn't decide if he wanted to know just how deep Catherine's relationship with Jimmy was. Hearing it would hurt like hell but Patrick needed to make sure he could get ahead of whatever hell Jimmy would put her through. Patrick couldn't bring himself to come right out and ask as he had with his two sons, so he tried a new tactic and try to bring both his and her guards down.
"What'd ya do in Crossmaglen?"
Catherine smiled, "shot a Barrett M90. It was a bloody grand time, Da. The watermelons we used as targets just absolutely exploded. Of course, Jimmy had me workin' more wit' the AR."
"Is this really what ya want? Bein' a volunteer."
"Aye, it is."
Patrick could only nod. He decided at that moment that he was taking over Catherine's fate in the IRA. He would contact his commander in the morning to get the ball rolling; make sure she stayed on the Falls Road and under the same command as him in the second battalion. There was no way in hell Patrick would allow Catherine to end up under Jimmy in the third.
"Jimmy," was all Patrick managed to get out. He was having a hard time forcing the words out. "What are ya doin' wit' Jimmy?"
"I don't…I don't understand,"
Patrick cut Catherine off and just blurted it out. "Ya foolin' around? Shaggin'?"
Catherine's face turned beet red from embarrassment the second those words left Patrick's mouth. All she wanted to do was implode before the conversation could any worse for her. A year ago she had mercilessly made fun of Brien after he told her Patrick had cornered him to talk about the mechanics of safe sex. She now understood how her brother had felt.
"No," she answered quickly.
The defensive tone of her voice didn't go unheard by Patrick. He knew something happened that she wasn't willing to cop up to. If she wasn't willing to divulge, he wasn't going to push. Patrick planned on kicking Jimmy's ass regardless.
