Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, its that simple

If: 15 freaking reviews... the madness of it all! OMG, I can't believe it. Seriously, all those reviews take up one whole page... Craziness. Well, I'm glad you all enjoy this so much. Wow. Review replies are at the bottom kiddies.

Warning: More blood, talk of slitting wrists,general darkness, and hints at rape, among other things


The silence in the room was awkward to say the least. Gaara was just looking at Sasuke, who sat on the other side of the room, and Sasuke just looked at the floor, his head resting on his drawn up knees. Gaara didn't like the silence, or the tension. His hands had long ago started twisting and turning out of pure nervousness. It seemed as if Sasuke wasn't going to say anything any time soon, and Gaara frankly didn't blame him. Heck, Gaara wouldn't blame Sasuke if he said he didn't want anything to do with Gaara anymore. No, there was no fault to Sasuke, all the blame belong to him. It was all his fault. It always was… wasn't it?

Yes, Gaara thought, it really was all his fault. Everything was his fault. Always was. Ever since he was born it had been his fault. His mother's death, Yashamaru, those many incidents at school, all the people he had hurt in some way, Sasuke… the list could go on forever. Gaara knew he had stepped on a lot of peoples' toes to stay alive. He was a nuisance, a waste of space, a… demon. Maybe his father was right… His father. Shit. He had just fought back, hadn't he? How stupid was that? He shouldn't have fought back; no matter how independent and sure of himself he had felt. The man was right anyway; Gaara was a demon who deserved to die. Why had he ever doubted that simple truth that had been beaten into his skull all of his life? Sasuke. Sure, some random guy he barely knew but was irrevocably attracted to had given him some sort of strength to believe that he was worthy of the air he breathed. How had he given in to that feeling? Surely the years upon years of abuse and hateful yet true words had made him impervious to such ploys of feeling? Obviously not.

Gaara patted the ground beside him and his fingers brushed across one of the many razors that had been stored in that black box. Gaara grasped it between his fingers and raised it to eye level to get a look at it. The metal was gleaming in the dim lighting of the room and Gaara was transfixed by the sight of it. Such a cruel instrument, the razor. It was so blunt, so to the point. You couldn't doubt a razor's intentions, it was there to cut and that was that. There was no mystery, just the cold, cruel truth. Razors were a true tool for art, as Shukaku would say. Gaara licked his dry lips. The cool metal between his fingers was calling, singing, cajoling for blood. Shining, untainted metal wished to be soaked in the essence of Gaara's very life. Maybe he could do the world a favor and finally end his pathetic existence. It looked so tempting, the metal, his scared, yet unbleeding wrist… one little cut wouldn't hurt.

Gaara switched the razor to his right hand, noticing idly that his wrist was indeed slit on the right side and that it was slit in the proper way to kill ones self, length wise. Gaara just shrugged it off and brought the razor to his left wrist, planning on slitting it width wise, though it really wouldn't matter soon, his other wrist was still bleeding and he was beginning to get light headed.

Sasuke, meanwhile, was trying to bring his mind out of his own darkness. Memories of things he'd rather not remember were streaming through his head. Rape, torture, pets, owners, used, abused and left for dead… he couldn't handle the flow of horrid thoughts of the past. He didn't want to remember how it had all gone downhill from that incident of being a pet. He didn't want to see how he had become less than human, a toy used for sex or a twisted obsession with causing others pain. Sasuke didn't want to remember being bent over desks, tables, thrown on the floor, the backseat of cars where he had been used like a common whore. Nights devoid of sleep, trying to make sure that no one would come for him and force him to do those things again. Sasuke's mind was hurting and he couldn't handle it. He looked across the room to see what was going on with Gaara, his beautiful angel who had hurt him so. Sasuke knew that he didn't love him any less. Yes, love him. Gaara was placing the razor on his wrist.

"Shit!" Sasuke shouted and scrambled across the room. He grabbed hold of the wrist of Gaara's right arm and pulled it back away from his left, unintentionally making Gaara nick his wrist. Gaara only groaned, and Sasuke noticed that there was something very wrong with his precious light in the darkness. Gaara's right wrist was already slit. When had this happened? Sasuke cursed.

"Where did you put the first aid kit Gaara?" Sasuke asked desperately. Gaara only groaned in response. Sasuke's eyes frantically searched the room for the elusive kit, seeing it by the door. Sasuke managed to get onto his feet and stumbled over to the door. Grabbing the handle, he bent down and picked up the kit before straightening and heading back to Gaara, who seemed to be slipping in and out of consciousness.

"Stay with me," Sasuke murmured, fumbling through the kit and finding bandages and antiseptic and anything else he would need, Sasuke grabbed a t-shirt that had been lying on the ground and applied it to Gaara's wrist, holding it there with all the pressure he could, trying to stop the blood from flowing.

"Why is it I can't seem to hate you?" Sasuke asked the now unconscious Gaara. "It doesn't make sense. I've always hated everyone that's hurt me, so why can't I hate you?"


Sasuke looked at the still sleeping Gaara, wondering if he would be alright. It had taken a while for the blood to stop flowing, and even then Sasuke was worried with how much Gaara had lost. Sasuke had wrapped and bandaged the wound, making sure that he did everything in his power, and to his knowledge to help his red haired angel. And since when had Gaara been his angel? Sasuke still barely knew the guy. How could he be his angel after such a short period of time? And how did Sasuke know with such certainty that he loved the red haired beauty?

Sasuke sighed. This all was moving so fast, happening too quickly to comprehend. Everything was becoming one big blur that was incomprehensible. Too much, too quickly… Sasuke knew with a dark sense of doom that this would turn out badly in the end. Anything that happened this fast always turned out bad in the end.

A groan from Gaara startled Sasuke out of his thoughts. A little hesitantly, the raven haired boy poked Gaara into waking, preparing himself to dash for it if 'Shukaku' came out again. Gaara's green eyes just blinked open wearily and Sasuke heaved a sigh of relief as confusion and emotions raced across those endless depths of green.

"Wha?" Gaara questioned, trying to sit up from his position of lying on the ground. Sasuke put a hand to his chest and forced him to stay lying down, though he did move to let Gaara's head rest in his lap, though it was a bit painful.

"You passed out from blood loss," Sasuke murmured. Gaara just gave him a questioning look. "Your wrist was slit and was bleeding."

Gaara's mouth opened in an 'oh.' Bringing his hand up to look at his wrist, Gaara blinked uncomprehending eyes. Gaara tugged on the bandage wrapping his wrist and Sasuke slapped his hand away.

"Don't do that," Sasuke scolded. Gaara just looked at him.

It seemed that it was then that Gaara's mind caught up to the situation he was in now. Bolting upright, Gaara scrambled a few feet away from Sasuke, falling into a deep bow, his head resting on the floor. Sasuke just blinked surprised eyes at him.

"I'm sorry," Gaara muttered, barely hearable. Sasuke almost didn't catch the words. Sighing Sasuke just nodded.

"Apology accepted," Sasuke said, Gaara didn't move. "Get up, you're embarrassing me."

Gaara sat back up, folding his hands demurely in his lap. Sasuke just stared at him for a few moments before blinking out of his slight daze.

"There are some things I want explained," he said, Gaara nodded numbly. "First off, who the hell is 'Shukaku?'?"

Gaara shuddered; he really, really didn't want to explain that abomination in his head to Sasuke, or anyone for that matter. But Gaara knew that he owed that much to the boy he had nearly killed unintentionally.

"Shukaku is my split personality," Gaara said.

"… I know that much Gaara," Sasuke said. Gaara sighed, hanging his head.

"Sorry… I just… its just… I don't really care to talk about it or acknowledge it, or think about it for that matter," Gaara muttered. Sasuke could understand why.

"How did you gain this… thing?" Sasuke asked. Gaara twitched visibly.

"He appeared slightly after Yashamaru died," Gaara said. Sasuke nodded knowingly and Gaara raised an eyebrow. "Why are you nodding like you know what I'm talking about?"

Sasuke blanched slightly. "Well… you see… Naruto and Temari kind of told me about Yashamaru… sort of…"

Gaara twitched again. "I'm going to hurt them later… but in the meantime it saves me from having to explain all of that."

Sasuke flinched; he may have just signed Naruto and Temari's death certificates.

"Shukaku actually developed over my childhood, according to my psychologist, but he became a separate personality after the 'tragic' death of my uncle Yashamaru," Gaara rattled off, seeming to be reading from a script. He barked out a short laugh. "It makes sense, it really does since my mind is dark on its own… its just sad that due to my own screwed up mental state, I couldn't handle it so I created a more 'evil' self after that bastard betrayed me."

Sasuke nodded silently. Gaara seemed to be going off on his own.

"Shukaku is the most sadistic part of my mind. He's depraved, his sadistic, he lusts for blood, and he hates me," Gaara stated. Sasuke stared at Gaara. "That's the only reason why I don't think I created him. Because, though I may hate myself and may want to end my miserable excuse for an existence, he tries to hurt the few people that care about. He takes pleasure in my pain. That creature lives for blood, the pain of others, and most of all: to make my life even more of a living hell.

"I first met Naruto on a day where he was hovering close to the surface, ready to lash out. We fought and though he technically won, the both of us were shipped off to the hospital… ironically we've been best friends ever since then… but that's something else. Shukaku is evil, pure and simple."

Sasuke kept nodding, but Gaara stopped talking.

"What else do you want me to say?" Gaara asked, raising an invisible eyebrow. Sasuke blinked.

"Uh… what's with his 'art' fetish-y thing?" Sasuke asked, shuddering slightly. Gaara flinched.

"… He believes that every human is a blank canvas just waiting to be decorated with the paints of pain. Bruises, cuts, scrapes, scabs, bite marks, hickeys, and other things are the colors with which the 'talented artist' paints. He believes that the greatest work of art is a corpse. Sometimes, after he takes control, I find that I've been looking at pictures of various corpses at crime scenes on the computer," Gaara explained. Sasuke flinched.

"So you're not really conscious when he takes over?" he asked. Gaara nodded.

"I sort of fade out. I'll be the way I am now, but my mind will start to deteriorate into dark thoughts, I'll start to think about hurting people, and blood and the pain of others, but I'll still be myself. The darker I get, the closer I get to him. A song… a song is always the sign of his arrival. Its this song called "Coin-operated boy" by The Dresden Dolls. When that song starts to play in my mind, he's waking up and starting to take over. When its all I can hear, other than his taunts, then he's pretty much taken over. It's the last thing I hear, and his face is the last thing I see before he takes full control," Gaara said. "The next thing I'll know is that bad things have happened and that I'm not where I used to be."

Sasuke pondered this for a while as Gaara just fidgeted. Finally Sasuke looked up at him again.

"I think that I want to know everything Gaara," he said. "I need to know. I don't hate you for what happened, but… I just need to know."

Gaara nodded. "I'll tell you only if you tell me everything, fair is fair. And I'm not giving you all this dirt on me to not have anything on you."

Gaara held out his hand.

"Agreed," Sasuke said, taking Gaara's hand.


Alcorion: Thanks for the two wonderful reviews! I'm glad you like my humble little story so much! Thanks!

ChibiChaolan: I am the updating machine! I like updating every other day, b/c I have this feeling that if I didn't I'd lose interest in this story (that's seriously happened to me before... I hate that), and I really don't want to lose interest in this and just stop, or do a cop-out ending.And wow, I got that much of a response out of you from reading that chapter? Wow. I didn't know that chapter was so effective. Sweetness. Me? 'Talented and inspirational'? I'm flattered. I've never thought I was that good. Thanks so much, I feel like I've gotten pretty good at writing if you're calling me that. Good luck on your Sims of Gaa-chan and Sasu-kun! I'm sure you'll get them down! Thanks so much for the wonderous review!

LETmeCRY: He he he... I think you're right. The start of a beautiful, sadomasichistic relationship. I rock your world? The sweetness of it all is beyond description. Thanks for the review!

puptastic25: I'm glad you liked that last chapter! Each chapter better than the last? That's a tall bill to fill, I hope that I don't disappoint you on that. Thanks for the review!

wIthOUt A nAmE: Ah yes, the scary/goodness of it all. I'm afraid it just wouldn't be Gaara without some scary shit (from Shukaku and himself). And yeah, a vulnerable Sasu, he's got his reasons for being like that, which we'll find out soon I believe. Thanks so much for the review!

Kyouki no Kyuuketsuki: I'm glad you liked it so much my fellow sadist! I was a bit afraid that people wouldn't like my torture, but y'all have taken to it like crazy. I hope I updated quick enough for ya! Thanks for the review!

sei mong: Pretty? Hmm... wasn't expecting that sort of reaction, but whatever. Thanks for the review!

Jenanien: he he he... I think you're right. Gaara needs a smidge of help. And I just knew you were thinking something else. I hope that I surprised ya with that. Thanks for the review!

xX-Angel.Eater-xX: lol, I can't feel sorry for him either. I used to like him, but now he's evil. Yup. Evil. So I don't mind torturing him one bit, but then again, I so love him with Gaara. Meh. He may be evil, but I can't help but like him, when he's not being Orochimaru's lap dog. And I know! 17 chapters! Its crazy! And long! I haven't written anything long in ... over a year. Its awesome! Thanks so much for all the support!

Demonchildssister: Woah indeed. Mwa ha ha... I like rendering people speechless, it makes me feel accomplished... or maybe I'm just sadistic or someting... Thanks for the review!

YINGYANGBLOSSOMS : Heh, interesting indeed. Gotta keep you readers on your toes! You never know what will pop into my mind and make its way onto paper. Thanks so much for the review!

RabidFangirlMoo : Mwa ha ha ha... oh yeah. The Angst and Sadism! I'm loved! Sweet! Thanks for the review!

Brooklyn'sGurl: Yesh, Shukaku is an artist of the canvas of the body, only he doesn't use ink. Twistedness. I hope that Sasuke's reactions aren't too... what's the word... unrealistic. I understand that he's just been practically tortured, but Gaara is still his light. Like, how when someone's in an abusive relationship that they just can't get out of because they "love" the other person. He just can't get away... but yeah... a little on the explanation-y side there... Thanks so much for all the support!

RenegadeMustang : Wow, this must be pretty sweet if I got the same awesome review from you three times! Lol. Ah, a meat tenderizer... hmm, its hard to explain... can be metal or wood, has a handle with a rectangle at the top which has sharp little points on it... I stink at describing, so if I confused you ignore me... And Gaara indeed did have some explaining to do. :) I know, sometimes there is some humor, I try not to keep it dark all the time. I'm glad you like Gaara's twitch-y moments! I'll write something and then twitch and I'll be like "Gaara would so twitch at that"... its awesome. Thanks so much for the awesome review!

Wow, and a big thanks to all my lovely readers (reviewers and non-reviewers)! I love y'all!