Over Coffee

Shizuru's story


I'm sitting here, across from Botan, on her most desperate day. We both knew this would happen; history repeats itself.

She called me this morning, something about being pregnant, which she just confirmed, and I told her to meet me at our café as soon as Hiei left for work. "Oh Shizuru! I feel so terrible…" I reached my hand across the table and patted her shoulder, "It's not your fault Botan." It's mine

Her and Hiei's marriage had been on the rocks since mine ended (not that Hiei had any clue). All because I'd gone to her, she didn't have to say it, but I knew that's where this doubt was coming from. She was happy until about a month ago; when Kurama and I started to fight.

Flash back

I'm sitting on the couch, waiting for Kurama to come home; lord knows he's only a few hours late. Probably got caught by his fan club. It makes me so angry that they are still trying to sleep with him when they know damned well I'm his wife and the mother of his child!

Another hour ticked away before the front door creaked open and he shot inside slamming the door behind him. "It's about time you got home. What happened to I'll only be an hour?"

"Sorry Shizu, the mob spotted me on my way home…I tried a short cut but they had me surrounded this time. I told Hiei we shouldn't go to the mall, but he insisted." If I hadn't known the length Hiei would go to in order to keep Botan happy, I'd have called him a liar right about now.

"Yeah, well, try not to let it happen again, okay? It's difficult to watch over Arla when she won't stop crying cause 'daddy' isn't here." He nodded and let himself drop to the couch in exhaustion, "Alright; I'll leave going to the mall for you. I'll stick to the less-than feminine places."

End flash back

"Oh, how am I going to tell him! Should I tell him?" She hid her face in her hands and I sighed, "If it was anyone else, I'd tell you to tell them…but with Hiei it's harder, he needs you Botan. He needs you to keep him here." If he even got the tiniest hint she was unhappy; he'd go ballistic, and we both know it.

"I know…but I can't stand looking him in the eyes, pretending I'm in love with him and seeing all his love…it's just too much." By now, tiny, translucent tears were making their way down her face, and I am starting to feel more than a little uncomfortable. I don't like seeing the happiest person I know crying in despair. Especially since Hiei can sense her crying from like twenty miles away and he always comes running. He just doesn't want her to be hurt; Kurama used to be like that with me…

Flash back

It's been a week since the mob made Kurama over five hours late, and we have patched things up quite nicely. By which I mean I'm expecting again. I haven't told him yet because it's just a hunch, Arla and I are just going to get a pregnancy test. I really hope I am pregnant, because I know he would love another little baby to play with, especially since Arla turned out looking like me.

We're only about a block away from the store when I got a horrible feeling, like someone was watching us. I picked Arla up, she could walk another time; right now I just want to get into a public place where it's safe, and not be caught on a deserted street.

I never even heard the gun go off, I felt something sticky and wet start flowing over my hands and my first thought was that Arla was bleeding. Wrong. It was me, the immense pain in my shoulder proved that. Arla started screaming, "DADDY! DADDY! HELP MOMMY!" when she realized it was blood. He came running and got there just before I passed out. "Shizuru!"

End flash back

The wind picked up around us and blew stray hairs this way and that. "What am I going to do when the baby is born?" Botan was pregnant, only just, but pregnant none the less. What could she do, except stay by Hiei's side?

"Botan. I know this isn't going to seem very fair, but you don't want to hurt him, right?" She nodded, "You have to stick by his side, raise this baby and any others, and tell him you love him. Everyone has a duty, and yours is to him." Please don't make my mistakes…don't do what I did

Continuing flash back

When I woke up, I heard at least seven different voices, "Is she still alive?" "How is she?" "What happened?" "Is Arla okay?" and "I think it was a stalker of mine…" The words sunk into my brain slowly and I winced when they did. His stalkers…his fan club want me dead…they could have hit Arla!

My eyes slowly peeled themselves open, blinding me with bright white lights outlining a few familiar blots of colour. Red, Kurama, pinky-blue, Botan, black, Hiei. "K-Kur-ama…?" I felt like my mouth was stuffed with cotton, why was it so hard to talk? "I'm here Shizuru. Don't talk, save your strength." I could vaguely feel a hand clasp mine and his lips on my forehead.

"W-where's Ar…la…?" "Shh, you need to rest…" He was avoiding something, and I'll be damned if he's gonna get away with it.

End flash back

"You're right…I'll do it for him…for his kodomo." Botan smiled up at me friend, for the first time in what felt like forever, I know she knew what she had to do.

It wasn't as thought she didn't love Hiei, I know she does love him, she just wasn't sure if they were the best choice for each other. But I know they are. He would hand her the moon, just as Kurama would have done for me. I can't let her make my mistake, if she did something to lose Hiei, it would be my fault in its own way; and I can't live with that added guilt. She would have to walk the road of uncertainty with her beloved fire demon beside her.

That's what love is right? It's all guess work. And I guess it's probably time for her to go back to him now. "Thanks for the coffee Shizuru and the advice too. I don't know what I'd do without you."

She stood up and stretched a bit, "Call me later Botan, I have to get back to my baby now." We parted ways, heading back to the loved ones we're taking care of.

Botan to her husband,

and me to my child.

Kurama had been hiding something from me; Arla had fallen ill by the time I had woken up in the hospital, and she was convinced everything was her father's fault. He left one day, to go to the store, and Arla wouldn't let him back inside.

I haven't seen him since.


Okay! I wrote Shizuru's side of the convo! And I'll add two more chapters, one with Botan confronting Hiei about being pregnant and one with some ShizuruXKurama stuff. I hope you liked it!