Showered, feeling like a human again, Catherine made her way to the kitchen. She began to finish up washing the dishes that she had started before the monstrous wave of nausea had her running for the toilet. Reaching for one of the dirty coffee mugs, Catherine broke out into a wide smile when she realized which one it was.

Dropping the sponge into the hot soapy water, she ran a pruned thumb over the worn lettering.

There's a Chance There's Whiskey in Here.

She couldn't believe Darragh had kept the mug Catherine had given to him as a joke years ago.

Picking the sponge back up and resuming the washing, Catherine was surprised at how content she was falling into domestic life. Though she wasn't living full-time with him just yet, Darragh had found a modest place to rent near Divis Tower. She would move-in once she hit the twentieth week of pregnancy.

Not at all forgetting his responsibilities with the cause, that didn't stop him from focusing most of the daylight hours looking for a source of steady income. He was running into the same wall Liam had found himself stalled by—work was scarce. Especially for a working-class man with a lowly education, and convictions for murder and IRA membership hovering over his head.

Determined to help Darragh make ends meet, Catherine had taken up clerical work at the Sinn Fein office. Spending her days typing, filing, and answering phones was the least she felt she could do. Plus, it put her in the perfect position to start digging up information on the PSNI detective who had questioned her at Musgrave.

Though their relationship was still in its early stages, Catherine and Darragh were none at all staggered by how things had been working between them. For the first time, they both felt they had a true partner and were operating like a well-oiled machine.

They had long, difficult conversations about what their future would look like if they discovered there simply was no love between them. Darragh assured Catherine they would remain friends and he would stick by her side. He had no intentions of backing out now. Even she was determined to make it work as she couldn't imagine being with another man at this point.

Sticking to his word, Darragh took her to appointments at the clinic, he held her hair back at five in the morning when the sickness overtook, and he even made a point of keeping his cabinets stocked with whatever food she was craving that week.

Rinsing the mug and placing it into the drying rack, she reached for a plate when she heard the front door squeak open and slam shut. Catherine dropped the plate into the sink, excited to finally get some alone time with Darragh. Grabbing the towel, she started to dry her hands.

"That was quick. I wasn't expectin' you until-"

The towel slipped from her hands, landing on the floor when she saw who it was walking into the kitchen. Her stomach instantly started somersaulting, a chill surged through her body, and her eye started to twitch when his voice rang out.

"Surprised to see you're still stayin' here with your parents."

His skin was sun-kissed from having spent the last five weeks in the Middle East and Northern Africa. His voice dripped with condescension.

Catherine began to round the table, trying to keep the distance between them. She was terrified of what he would do if he got his hands on her. Thinking that he wasn't beyond upset with her would be stupid. The confrontation was a long time coming, but with him being gone for over a month on business, she and Darragh had let their guards down.

Catherine could see it in his eyes—the betrayal, the pain, the disbelief. It wasn't enough for her to regret her decision.

"Ya need to leave, Jimmy." Her voice was shaking and laced with thick anxiety. "Darragh'll be here any minute."

He laughed, amused she thought he was intimidated by Darragh.

"I just wanna talk."

"There's nothin' for us to talk about."

Catherine refused to take her eyes off Jimmy. He nonchalantly took a seat at the table.

"Why are you lyin'?"

"I'm not lyin'."

It startled Catherine when Jimmy slammed his fist down on the table. The fury was radiating off of him and she could see his jaw flexing as he clenched it. He wasn't interested in dealing with her stubbornness. By doubling down, she was only digging herself into a deeper hole.

"Contrary to what you may think, I'm not a fuckin' eejit. You're not gonna keep my child from me."

"Even if you were the one who knocked me up, they would never call you Da."

She knew it was a mistake to say that the second those words left her mouth. Memories of what happened the last Jimmy lost his temper came flooding back.

He stood up with so much force, it sent the chair falling. When he started to close the distance between them, Catherine panicked when she realized she unintentionally cornered herself. Before she had a chance to find another way out, Jimmy grabbed hold of her hair. His fingers gripped the roots tightly and he roughly pushed Catherine against the wall.

"Please, please don't hurt me!" She began to scream and cry, and Jimmy ignored her.

"I know that baby is mine, Catherine! Why are you tryin' to keep me out of my child's life? You're more of a halfwit than I thought if you think I'll stand around and watch another man raise my child!"

"This is why. You're fuckin' outta control; your anger gets the best of you. I will never allow my child to know what kind of monster their father is."

Her words pierced his soul. He slammed the back of her head against the wall, twice. "I will be involved; you hear me?"

"Darragh and I will leave Ireland if that means keepin' our family safe. I swear to God we will!"

Our family. Jimmy felt like he had been punched in the gut. As long as he was still alive and well, he would never allow her to leave the six counties.

"If you don't come clean and tell everyone that I'm the father, your life will be an absolute livin' Hell. What I do to Darragh, will make Filip's face look like nothin' more than a scratch. And this time, I won't fuckin' stop until I know he's taken his last breath."

Hearing Jimmy threaten Darragh, upset Catherine the most. She could handle the warnings against her life, but not his. Not when he was nothing more than an innocent bystander in this catastrophic mess.

She thrashed in an attempt to get free from his hold, but he only pulled harder on her hair.

He continued, "Then, I will make sure your days in the IRA are done, and you will never find another job in Norn Iron ever again. You'll end up livin' out your days destitute in Divis Tower."

"That's how ya plan on treatin' the mother of your baby? Widowed and penniless."

Jimmy opened his mouth to speak, but it was Darragh's voice she heard.

"You mother fucker!"

Dropping the greasy bag of fish and chips, Darragh curled his arm around Jimmy's neck and pulled him off Catherine. Finally, free from him, she slid down the wall to the floor. Holding a shaky hand over her mouth, she watched the two men scuffle. Darragh had four-inches and at least fifty-pounds on Jimmy so it was hardly a contest. Before Catherine could wipe the tears from her cheeks, Darragh had Jimmy on his knees.

"The next time you come within two feet of her, I will fuckin' beat your ass. Don't test me, because I am not bluffin'. Go home to Fiona and leave Catherine alone."

Because Darragh had Jimmy in a chokehold, he slapped his hand against Darragh's bicep to show he understood what he had been told. He didn't accept it in the slightest, but he also didn't want to inflame Darragh, who was flying on adrenaline. A small part of Jimmy respected him for sticking up for Catherine the way he did. No way he would even admit that aloud, though.

Letting Jimmy go, Darragh told him to leave. Defeated, he did. Both men knew a grueling conversation was waiting for them.

Dropping in front of Catherine, Darragh pulled her into him. As they wrapped their arms around one another, she buried her face into the curve of his neck. She instantly broke out into a fit of tears, relieved to be in his warm, safe embrace. He just let her cry, knowing there wasn't anything he could say to soothe her. Pressing his lips to her temple, Darragh's heart broke thinking of the torment she had endured over the last few years. In some respect, he felt complicit as he never bothered stepping in when he knew it was getting worse.

"Why won't he just leave me alone?"

"He's a man who constantly needs to feel in control. Unfortunately, for too long you let him have control over you and even you said it yourself—he's not gonna let you go easily."

Catherine clenched her fists and pounded on his chest. The thought of constantly having to watch over her shoulder almost drove her mad. "No! We can't live like this, Darragh. As long as he's in Belfast, we can't be here."

It killed him to see how deep Jimmy had burrowed under her skin. It killed him, even more, to hear her imply they should leave Belfast. Not only was this the only place she had ever called home, but there was nowhere else he wanted to be either.

Jimmy's threat had Catherine wanting to pack up that night. Though, she had to play it cool and not tell Darragh what had been said to her. She wasn't sure if Jimmy was bluffing, so what good would it do to tell him?

"Don't start with that shite. I know your hormones are all over the place, so I'm here to knock sense back into you when ya start talkin' nonsense. We're not goin' anywhere, because he's havin' a tantrum—he'll get over it."

"It's not that simple. What he did to Filip, I'm afraid he'll do-"

"To me? There's no need for you to worry about that."

Catherine was frustrated that she wasn't getting through to him. "He got away with it with Filip, he'll get away with it again."

"Leadership is a lot different now, than what it was when the True Army first formed. The punishment for offing another volunteer is death. For someone in Jimmy's position, it's certain and he knows that. He's so close to becoming Chief of Staff, he won't do anything to fuck that up."

Taking a deep breath, she thought it over. Ten years ago, the True Army was close to anarchy as they worked to form structure. Things volunteers had once gotten away with, were not grounds for court-martial. She also knew Jimmy was too selfish to give up his opportunity to become the fifth highest-ranking officer, just one peg below the Irish Kings.

"You're right." She curled her fingers along the ends on his shaggy black locks. "Besides, you've pissed off so many people on either side of the wall, I should be more worried about the IPLA or UVF."

Smirking, Darragh tilted Catherine's chin so he could capture her lips for a long-awaited kiss. He could feel her melt and relax.

"What do you say we take the food back to mine? I picked up a couple of movies for us to watch, too."

Catherine nodded. "Sounds like a perfect night to me."

After having spent the last two days in Dundalk, he looked forward to spending the night with his girl. Even if that meant she knocked out before nine. As long as her head was on his chest, he was the happiest man in the world.


In the Short Strand, Jimmy drank straight from a bottle of whiskey as he flipped on the light to Catherine's former bedroom. It looked the same as the day she left over a month ago.

Walking to the nightstand, he picked up the picture frame. The smiling face of him and Catherine made him snicker. He tried to wrap his mind around how he could have fallen in love with such a deceitful whore. With Catherine, he always let his guard down against his better judgment and all she did was play him for a fool.

Now, he felt furious and humiliated. Surely people wouldn't be stupid enough to believe the half-cocked lie that there were mutual feelings between Catherine and Darragh. He couldn't be the only one who noticed they regarded one another as nothing but friends. The way they fought and teased each other reminded Jimmy of her interactions with Liam and Brien. He did look forward to watching her stumble and fall in explaining the entire situation when the baby was born and ended up looking like Jimmy.

He wondered if she had ever loved him or if it was all for show. Jimmy figured she had latched on to him to boost her esteem in the True Army. For the material possessions, he showered her with and the vacations.

She said the only reason why she ended things, was because he couldn't control his anger. But, what he couldn't seem to make her understand was that it had been her actions that instigated him. For a majority of the time they spent together, Catherine had done what she was told and kept the attitude at bay. It seemed only when Darragh had made commander and came sniffing around her, did she start to fight Jimmy on everything.

Tossing the frame, Jimmy took another shot from the bottle. He sat on the floor with his back resting against the bed. Out of sheer curiosity, he pulled open the bottom drawer of her nightstand. To his surprise, the only thing in there was an old shoebox. Setting the bottle aside, Jimmy pulled it out and dropped it between his legs. Flipping the top off, he started to dig through it.

Innocent enough, it seemed to be nothing more than a keepsake box. Old ticket stubs to movies and concerts. Shell casings, presumably from when they had gone shooting together. Faded photos of her childhood. There was one in particular that caught Jimmy's attention. He turned it over and saw Olivia's handwriting—Catherine Mary & Jimmy 25/12/1984.

Looking at the photo of Catherine sitting on his lap as he helped her rip open a Christmas gift, brought him back in time. He wondered what happened to the buoyant little girl with a massive mane of bright orange ringlets and shining blue eyes.

The Troubles and the True Irish Republican Army; that's what happened to her.

Jimmy slipped that photo into the inside pocket of his suit jacket as he picked up a very thick stack of open envelopes. Pulling off the rubber band, he eyes the return address on the first envelope. HMP Maghaberry.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me?"

There were hundreds of letters from the maximum-security prison, all addressed to Catherine in Darragh's left-handed writing. Jimmy had no idea she had been corresponding with him while he was locked up. Had Jimmy known, he would have put an end to it right away, only because her association with a convicted IRA man could have been detrimental to her future.

Unfolding the first letter, Jimmy grabbed the bottle of whiskey as he started reading. He couldn't help laughing at how pathetic Darragh sounded. The way Darragh wrote about how much he missed the sound of her voice and laughter, the smile in her eyes, made Jimmy gag.

This was how he wrote to a girl he knew nothing about?

Tossing it aside, he randomly chose a letter from the middle of the stack. He cleared his throat, humorously reading it aloud, expecting something even more gag-inducing. But, that wasn't at all what he got.

"I think of how things could have been if only I hadn't left that night. But what can we do about it now? Pray for peace, Catherine, just as I do. I'm lost without you. Sometimes, I close my eyes and try to remember the feeling of your hands caressing my face, your lips against mine. I know you're hurting as much as I am, and I'm sorry for putting you through this. I miss you so much."

Jimmy couldn't finish reading it. Balling up the paper in his fists, he reminded himself of the date. April 1997—well before he and Catherine had slept together for the first time. Now he wondered if she had lied to him about being a virgin. She and Darragh had a past Jimmy didn't have the slightest clue about.

He picked up another stack and realized these were letters Catherine had never sent. As he read through them, there was no amount of alcohol that could numb the disloyalty he felt. Fury bubbled in his veins. They were all written after Jimmy and Catherine had solidified their relationship. Halfway through the pile, he threw the bottle of whiskey against the wall before tossing everything back into the box. Tucking it under his arm, he jogged down the stairs, slamming the front door shut once he was outside.

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill him," Jimmy mumbled, fumbling with his pack of cigarettes. "I'm gonna kill him, and then I'm gonna fuckin' kill her."