This story was last updated November 20, 2022.


Ash was in the bed of the Pokemon Center and he barely got any sleep last night because Mew kept letting out loud farts from the bad tacos that she had gotten from Bill's. He was honestly surprised something small like her could be so loud. But he finally managed to go to sleep fully at 2:41 a.m. and it was now 7:34.

Ash woke up, needing to go to the bathroom and he felt something really soft in the bed. It wasn't Pikachu, it was...

"Mew!" Ash called up.

She snorted really loudly then woke up. "What?! What's going on?"

"You're sleeping in my bed. You were underneath it earlier, and now you were snuggling up next to me. Why?"

Mew yawned again and floated in the air with heavy eyes and said, "I was getting uncomfortable down there and I wanted to be next to you. I like you, Ash and-"

"Oh, whoa, whoa, knock that weird *beep* off," Ash said as he notioned with his hands no. "I just want to know if you are willing to help me at the gym today."

"Ash Ketchum, are you saying that you wanna cheat? How can you say such a thing and-yes, I'll help you," Mew stated with a nod. "I don't helping one bit. I can turn into a dark type and-"

"Hold on. What's a dark type?" asked Ash. "I don't remember ever learning about that."

"Well, since it's 1998, they aren't revealed until a year from now in Japan, so yeah..." Mew said. "But they are immune to psychic Pokemon, silly. Please let me transform into a dark type!"

"Okay, okay, you can," Ash gave in, not wanting to argue with a legendary Pokemon.

"Let's go get breakfast! I want pancakes!" Mew giggled as she played with Pikachu.

"You can't be seen and I don't have enough money to take you somewhere that has pancakes," Ash told her, which wasn't false since he was pretty cheap because he likely would've earned enough money from battles to repay Misty's bike.

"Let's go see the gang then, dude," Mew sighed with frustration. She didn't like that Ash didn't get her pancakes, but she was going to go along with them anyways and help him out. After all, Ash did cause Mew to come to life, so to speak.

Ash looked at the other two and said, "We're going to the gym now."

"Why now?" asked Misty. "I'm hungry."

"Well, grab a *beep*ing bagel and let's go!" Ash scolded Misty. Misty shoved 18 in her bag and they left.

They finally reached Saffron Gym. It looked like an abstract circus, based on what the building looked like.

"This is a weird place," Brock commented as they entered as it looked like some sort of temple.

"I watched a lot of history channel documents," Sabrina told them in her creepy monotone. "So, who am I challenging today?"

"Me!" Ash said.

"Fine," she sighed. "You're keeping me from watching the weather. I control the weather, but I love listening to the humans get it wrong."

"She lies," whisper Mew to Ash.

"WHO WHISPERED ABOUT ME!" Sabrina said in a creepy voice extra loudly.

"I did, you paranoid creep!" Ash told the gym leader.

"Yeah, I get called that a lot. People can sense that when they step in Saffron. They say, 'Oh, the gym leader uses psychic Pokemon; she probably works at one of those shady alley places at midnight that read fortunes.'"

"Um...All I said is that I don't think you control the weather," Ash said, as he was getting more creeped out. "Hey, that's the creepy doll we saw last night!"

"You no diss my cabbage patch kids-collecting three year old version of me!" Sabrina roared with defense. "I'MA DO THIS!" She used her telekinesis and launched her Pokeball right at Ash's pinkie toe, causing him to fall over.

"Why did you do that?" asked Misty as she was eating a bagel.

"Pokemon Center bagels are the best," Sabrina trailed off. "They taste like they came from Aldi, but I swear they probably come from Wal-Mart or Tesco." She used her telekinesis to bring a bagel over to her mouth and used her psychic powers to bring a cup of coffee to her lap from one of the rooms that the other psychics were in.

"Oh. Yeah. A battle. Come on out, Abra," Sabrina said as she could not be distracted from her bagel.

"Fine. I send out this Pokemon who shouldn't exist!" Ash said as he let out Mew who was an Umbreon.

"What the *beep* is that?!" asked Sabrina as she was perplexed.

"I don't know but use a dark move!" Ash commanded. Mew illegally used dark pulse since it had another 8 years before coming out and it made Abra faint.

"No!" Sabrina called dramatically as she threw her doll at the ceiling and it knocked over a light. The doll started giggling and she fused into Sabrina, making her a sane kind woman again.

"I...I feel whole again," Sabrina said. "Like, before I ever decided to pursue my powers. I..." The guilt overwhelmed her and she started crying at all the horrible things she's done. She took out the marsh badge from her pocket and used her psychic powers to clip it onto Ash's jacket and she buried her face in her hands.

"May I ask that I be left alone, please?" she sobbed ugly as she also used the bagel to absorb her tears.

"Okay," Ash said. He watched as Sabrina held Abra and hug him, rocking him to sleep as he was fainted with swirls in his eyes.

"You're gonna be okay," she reassured him and sucked him back into the ball. "Thank you, Ash...for making me able to feel again."

"Uh...you're welcome," was all he could say. He started to tiptoe out of the gym.