Title: Love Manual

Author: Bru Gravem

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Characters based on Gilmore Girls and story loosely inspired at the synopsis of the movie "Manuale D'Amore" (Love Manual)

Summary: Love usually has the same pattern; it's like a manual. Four installments of how love works. Post 6X08 How it could have been. Rory/Jess

A/N: Reviews are highly appreciated. This chap is to LitGG1982 and iluvmylowandbaseball.


The Separation (Chap 04)

"Where is the remote control?" Rory screams from the living room.

"What?" Jess shouts from the bedroom.

"The remote control! From the TV! Where is it?"

"How the hell would I know?"

"Because you are the one that watches TV in the middle of the night and forgets to put the remote back on the coffee table!"

"Come on! It's ridiculous to actually have a place to put a remote control!"

"It is not! And if you could just do that simple task we wouldn't be having this shouting competition!"

"Well, I don't know where it is! Try to look for it under the couch."

"And why would it be under the couch?" she asks annoyed, while looking under the couch.

"Probably for the same reason it would on the coffee table. No rational reason."

"It's not there!" she shouts. He remains silent for a couple of minutes before shouting back. "I think it might be under my pillow."

She walks to their room where she finds him shaving, "Under your pillow? Under your pillow? Now, Jess, why would it be under your pillow?" she asks somewhere between aggressive and frustrated.

"Why don't you stop bitching out for five minutes and go check under the pillow, huh?"

She doesn't answer, just sighs frustrated and goes to check under the pillow, where she finds what she has been looking for. She takes the remote control and turns around to look at Jess. She shakes her head sadly and sighs yet again before speaking, "I can't do this anymore."

He looks at her confused and narrows his eyebrows, "Do what?" he asks, still shaving.

"This. Us. I want to break up."

He stops and puts the razor on the sink, turning to her, "What are you saying?"

"It's over. I'll start looking for a place for myself; I think you should do the same. You can have everything you want, I just want to keep my books…"

"But, Rory-"

"Jess, I still have feelings for you. Even after all we've been through, I still have feelings for you. But if we keep doing this, making ourselves hate each other, even these feelings will die soon. I can't let it happen."

"I don't want us to break up."

"I'm sorry, but it's not up for you to decide. I'll start packing tomorrow."


"Where are you staying?"

"I rent an apartment for now. Nothing fancy or anything, just a place to sleep while I try to find something better and still cheap."

"We don't have to do it right now, you know? We could just do it next month or something, when things are more settle down and we have a place to live."

She looks down and her voice gets weaker, "Jess, you know that if we don't do it know we will just think it over and end up agreeing that it's best to be together even if it makes us miserable."

He sighs, "I guess you are right." He pauses, "I just- I don't know how to live without you."

She looks up at him, "That's something we'll both have to learn."

"I don't want you to think it was all a lie. It wasn't."

"I know it wasn't. I really believed we could do it, make it work."

"I really loved you."

"Never doubted that."

"I still do."

"Don't make things hard, Jess."

"I'm not trying to. I just have to tell you the truth. I'm sorry about the lies and the cheating and how we hurt each other. But really, I didn't stop loving you. Never."

She looks down and then into his eyes. She knows he is telling the truth and nods, "It's not enough anymore. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, just wanted to make things clear, I guess everyone has to come clean at the end."

"I guess so."

"Do you need help with anything?" he offers.

"No, you can go. I'll move out tomorrow. Mom and Luke are coming over to help me."

He nods, "Okay, I think that's it then." He gets his key ring from his back pocket and hands it to her. "One last kiss?" he asks, still holding her hand.

She smiles sadly, "Why not?"

They kiss softly, soundlessly, like every last kiss should be. An implosion of everything that once was.

"Goodbye, Rory."

He is half away through the door when he hears her call his name and turns around.

"I still love you. I've never stopped. Just wanted you to know."

He smiles, "Thanks, it makes a difference."


She is finally unpacking the last of her boxes. After about two months trying to find a decent place and moving into it, it took her almost another month to unpack all of her stuff. She had put as the priority in her to-do list for the weekend to unpack all her remaining boxes. So that's what she is doing in this Saturday evening. Unpacking a box of books she hasn't read in over a year to put on shelves and let they stay there for most probably several months without being touched. Unpacking her winter clothes, which she won't be using for the next six months. In the middle of her organized chaos she finds something she is certain shouldn't be there. First she thinks it's just her mind is playing a trick on her, but eventually she gives in and reaches for the item of clothing. There it is, the oldest of all band T-shirts' Jess possessed. His beloved Metallica T-shirt. She takes it in her hands and hugs it, taking in his smell. God, she already misses his smell, she misses it so much. It is amazing how things that weren't important at all, things she didn't even notice were now such beloved memories that she tried to hold on to. She closes her eyes letting a few tears, which until now she hadn't let, fall from her face. Hugging the T-shirt close to her and sighing into it, she smiles. She takes her clothes off, slipping his T-shirt on and turns the light off, crawling into bed. Everything else can wait until tomorrow; right now she just needs to somehow be close to him.
She pays for the book and skips the pages, walking towards the crowded table. She waits in line, tapping her foot on the floor impatiently but actually lost in the words in front of her. When there are just two people in front of her she opens it on the dedicatory page and waits her time. Five minutes later she is face to face with him.

"Oh, I didn't expect you to see you here," he says surprised.

"I wouldn't miss it. When I heard you made it into the New York best seller list I just had to come see you."

He raised an eyebrow and she adds.

"Well," she says taking from her purse a copy from his first book, the one he had autographed all those years ago, "a long time ago I've told you one day your books would get the attention they deserved, and as always I was right. I'm sure my first edition copy with your autograph is already pretty valuable," she smiles.

"Are you thinking of selling it?" he raises an eyebrow.

"Nope, it's still more valuable to me than it could be to anyone else."

He shivers and his heart feels lighter with her words.

"Hey, lady, has he autographed your book? Cuz I'm still in line," a guy behind her interrupts.

"Oh sorry-" she starts and tries to move aside, but Jess cuts her off.

"Hey, my hour here is almost over, I just have to give this last autograph. Can we talk then? Five minutes. I promise I won't take much of your time."

She nods, "It's fine."

He gives the last autograph and stands up, moving away from the hard wood table as fast as possible so no one will try to ask a 'last autograph'. But when he reaches her, before he can say a word she hands him the open copy of his latest book and he smiles, glad to comply - just for her. She takes the book back and puts it into her purse, but doesn't say anything.

"So, have you read it?" he asks.

She shakes her head, "Just started. Work has driven me crazy… just a few days ago I got to know your book was already out."

He nods.

"But I found the dedicatory interesting," she says trying to make her voice sound controlled. He smirks and looks down, almost embarrassed. He is not ashamed, otherwise he wouldn't have written it. And after all, he ponders, the words are true. The only thing is, right now she is standing in front of him, telling him she has read the dedicatory. And that makes him feel exposed, caught.

"Interesting? Quite a vague adjective, huh?"

She shakes her head unsure and elaborates, "It sounded harsh. And I'm not sure how true it is. But I definitely didn't expect to have you say that, much less as a dedicatory in your most famous book," she pauses. "You knew how talented you are. You knew this time you would go big. And still, you wrote it right there, so everyone could see," she says in a small voice, trying to understand it.

"When you said it was over I felt like I had failed you. And I know I screwed up big time with you, but I loved you so fucking much. I just had to let you know that I was so sorry; that I wish I had been better, had been enough."

"So it was an apology," she questions, not really liking it.

He shakes his head, "No." He puts a hand to his head trying to make it stop aching. "I just… I meant it. Those words were true. And also, I'm sorry for everything wrong I have done to you."

She nods quietly and opens the book to read from it, "'To the woman who made me become a man. Even if it wasn't enough.'" She pauses. He shifts in his shoes not looking up. When she continues, her voice startles him and he looks up locking eyes with her. "It was enough. We both just screwed it up. We had it all, but somewhere along the line we started making big mistakes that we didn't try to overcome, so we overlooked them. We let ourselves hurt each other way too much."

"I know and I'm sorry! Gosh, if I could go back and do it over I wouldn't have let us get to that point. I would have found a way and fix it. I wouldn't have let you go."

"I'm sorry too, you know? You weren't the only one that fucked up our relationship. I just- I couldn't handle it. Instead of trying to fix it, I just ignored it as if it wasn't important or it didn't hurt."

He laughs, "Sometimes you would drive me crazy, you know?"

She rolls her eyes, "Sometimes I would feel like killing you," she pauses. "But we had our good moments; it was worth it."

He nods, "Yeah, it definitely was," he stops and looks her in the eye. "Are you busy?"

"Now?"

"Yeah."

She tilts her head to side and smiles, "No."

"Would you like some coffee?"

"That's low; you know I can't say no to that."

He smirks.

"You're not a big fan of coffee. What do you want?"

"Just to talk, for old times' sake. Talk about life... maybe the future…?" he says slower and watches her, trying to find any reaction. She has none, or at least pretends to have none. He sighs, "Maybe just enjoy some coffee?"

She looks at him with her big blue eyes, "Just coffee?" she questions again.

"It's up to you," he says, honestly.

"Okay," she states and goes to the door of the bookstore, heading out. He follows a little unsure.

"You still remember how I like my coffee?" she asks.

He sighs relieved; maybe they can go back to talking occasionally and being friends. He puts an arm around her waist and says a small, "Yeah."

"And how I like my breakfast?" she asks, a bit unsure.

He smiles goofy and holds her close, kissing her hair, "Oh yeah!"

The End


A/N: Just one last note because I think I deserve it. The scene about the remote control is based in a true story. That's how my cousin ended up with her boyfriend, because he was always desorganizing her CDs and living with him was driving her crazy and one she couldn't find the remote control so she started screaming and kicked him out. It is quite funny even if it's pretty weird; I just wanted to show how this kind of stuff really can happen.

And I also wanted to say that I intended to make they really part ways in the last chap, but somehow I ended up qriting this 'maybe' ending. Maybe it was inspiration; maybe it was some reviews asking a happy ending, I dunno. And I'd also like to say thanks for the reviews; they really make my day. : )