A/N: Don't own Naruto.
Chapter 3: Lesson 3
"I still don't get where Shikamaru could have gone." Naruto said. "Oh well, he missed the second lesson and it's time to work my new found learning." He rubbed his hands together with a big grin and couldn't wait to find Hinata.
"Now where is she?" Naruto said as he peered around for Hinata.
"N-N-Naruto?" he turned around but no one was there.
"Must have been my imagination. Now where is she?"
"N-N-Naruto, who are you l-looking for?" he turned around again and scratched his head.
"Who is saying that?"
"I'm right here." he turned his attention to the building corner and saw Hinata hiding.
"Hinata, what's up?" he asked with a smile. She all of a sudden fell to the floor bright red all over. "Was it something I said?" he knelt over and poked her in the cheek. After a few minutes he started to do it with a stick.
"Wait a second, this is the chance to do the second lesson." He looked around quickly to see if anyone was around. No one turned up and he smiled with a grin. He reached to her but then retracted and shook his head furiously. "Am I really going to turn into Ero-sanin?" he thought for a quick second and was touching Hinata.
Hinata's eyes flickered and she opened them slowly.
"What is this feeling? Did Naruto say my name? Something is tickling my leg." She looked up to Naruto with his hand at her shins and slowly making its way up.
"N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-NARUTO!" he looked up and she instinctively used her Gentle Fist and Naruto lay there unconscious. She then looked to him and grabbed his leg. "I finally have him." And she dragged him in the dirt smiling.
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"Five thousand two hundred and sixty one bottles of sake on the wall, five thousand two hundred and sixty one bottles of sake. Take one down, pass it around, five thousand two hundred and sixty bottles of sake on the wall." Shikamaru was still stuck under crates of now known as sake. He had to fill his stomach somehow so he stabbed the crate hard with his kunai and was drenched in sake. "Hic Man I can relate to Tsunade-sama drinking so much sake. Hic."
"Hey, bring the sake over to the office!" yelled someone.
"Hai!"
"Finally I'm getting out of here." Shikamaru goggled and the crates were slowly being moved. It must have been hours and he still wasn't out yet. "What the hell is taking so long?"
The crates on Shikamaru were on the thousands and they were still take the boxes from the very far end…he's going to be stuck a bit longer.
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"Sasuke is mine! Muahahahahahahahaha!"
"SHUT UP SAKURA!"
"You're just jealous Ino." She teased. Ino turned around pissed with crossed arms.
"Hello Ms. Lovely." She looked up to Sai and then devilishly to Sakura.
"Sai you know my name is Ino." She said slyly.
"By the way here." he took out a very small box and she was smiling of triumph, being that Sakura was now glaring at her and surprise.
"Sai, what could it be?" she said as she took the box and opened it. Her face drained of color to snow white. Sakura looked over and fell backwards laughing like there was no tomorrow.
"Is something wro-"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IF SOMETHING IS WRONG? YOU JUST HANDED ME A FREAKING CONDEM? DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO SOMETHING WITH THIS?" All Sai did was scratch his head and just look at her.
"I thought that was all girls would like to have." Ino was already cracking her knuckles and he just sighed waiting for impact. Apparently the punches from Sakura got him use to things like this. He was soon flying with his cheek bashed in and Ino yelling furiously. Sakura was still enjoying this and had tears falling from her eyes.
"Shut up Sakura!" she shouted.
"It's…too…hilarious!" she laughed out hitting the dirt and clutching her stomach.
"What the hell?" Ino looked up and was dreamed faced.
"Sasuke, how are you?" Ino asked sweetly.
"What's up with Sakura?" he asked as he pointed down to her.
"Oh she has a laughing fit." He lifted an eyebrow.
"From what?" she smiled nervously and had to think of something quickly not to embarrass herself.
"Just a joke Sai played." She said.
"What ever." He just looked to Sakura and felt amused. Seeing someone laughing so hard amused him so. He felt like laughing himself but knew it would wreck his image.
"Sasuke, what do you want with Sakura anyway?" Ino asked.
"To give her something." From these four words did Sakura stop and shot up wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Hi Sasuke!" she said excitedly practically jumping up and down. He took out a red box and Ino watched with fury as Sakura took it and opened it. It was then her turn to turn ghost pale and Ino looked over. She spat out laughing and snorting fitting her name as Ino-pig.
"Girls want this right?" Sakura dropped the box with the condom falling out and blue chakra formed over her right fist.
"Sasuke!" she yelled. Her voice echoed through the whole village and a small speck went flying into the sky. "YOU IDIOT! YOU ARE SO RUBBING OFF NARUTO!" Obviously she was screaming out of anger at Sasuke who couldn't hear anything being an unconscious body flying into the sky.
"Look…I'm flying." Sasuke thought as he flew across Konoha. Apparently he was losing his mind. One thing that was clear across his forehead was. "NARUTO!"
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"Akamaru, what did you do?" Akamaru was bruise and whimpering in pain. "Don't tell me you did it." He nodded and Kiba frowned. "Oh boy. And you mean to say that you offered to be the mate and then."
"ARF!"
"The largest dog you ever seen was there." He said and tried not to laugh. Akamaru growled at him and turned around. Snapping his tail at his face. "Hey!"
"ARF!"
"You don't have to be so upset about it, you will find someone." Akamaru lifted one ear and looked Kiba in the eyes.
"Arf, arf, arf." Kiba stood up angrily.
"What do you mean I have no better chance?" he shouted.
"BARK!"
"You little-!" Akamaru pounced on them and were tackling each other…moving on.
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"Ugh, where am I? Last thing I remember was that I was with Hinata…wait HINATA!" Naruto sat up and it was completely dark except the bit of light from the bottom of a door. He put his hand in front of him and touched the doorknob. He turned it and the door slowly went open. There sat a neat well put room and he walked out dizzily. "Where the hell am I? What ever, I'm getting out of here." he turned to the window and slid it open. He jumped out and ran for dear life. On the other hand, the other door slid open and Hinata came in with scissors. She closed the door behind her and looked to her closet wide open. The wind sent a chilling air and she frowned.
"I didn't get my strand of hair yet." She said as tears fell from her eyes. "My scrapbook of Naruto-kun is still incomplete!"
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"NARUTO!"
"What?"
"What kind of book is this!" shouted Sasuke.
"God damn because of this I got sick from sake!" Shikamaru shouted. They just looked at him. "Long story."
"Hey I just found this book and it said it would be some help to the girls and stuff." Naruto said as he took it out.
"This book has brought pain." Sai said as he put his hand to the big bandage on his cheek.
"From this Akamaru is refusing to be my partner anymore." Kiba growled.
"Yo." They all jumped to Kakashi looking over their shoulders.
"Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing here?" Naruto asked nervously.
"What's that behind your back?" he asked.
"Nothing." They all said and he lifted his eyes to the side.
"That looks like my book."
"Your book?" Naruto asked as he put it to the front and looked at it. It was suddenly in Kakashi's arms hugging like there was nothing like it.
"Naruto I owe you for finding my Icha Icha Relation book." He said happily. They were silent and turning pale.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ICHA ICHA RELATION BOOK?" they all roared and Kakashi opened the cover. He started to take out the black cover to an orange front and held it to their faces.
Icha Icha Relation Book
By: Jiraiya the Hermit
Note: This book is for only observation reading to the Icha Icha Paradise books on how they take relationships only in the book. Real life situations are not to be acted on this book. Thanks for reading.
As soon as they finished reading, they turned pale and fell back on the ground at the same time.
"Oh well, now to find out how Sota got the native girl." Kakashi sat down and put his hand to his mouth chuckling.
A/N: I made this a short story…well sort of I guess. I'm planning to maybe, MAYBE do a KakaSaku story but that's only a maybe. I want to know if people actually want these kinds of stories or not. If not I will just change it to what the people want. POWER TO THE PEOPLE. Just comment back and say yes or no. Thanks for reading my first story!
