(A/N: Beware the summary. It has a lot of holes in it.)

"Lockhart," Harry fumed, "Of all the people that could've taken charge of Dangerous Anger, Lockhart."
"Could be worse mate," Fred winced, "Suppose if it were Un-a-bridged instead." Harry, Ron, Ginny, and the twins shuddered.
"Hermione just can't make good choices," said Ron, wiping his face with an enchanted napkin.
"That does sounds familiar," Ginny whispered to Harry, as they noticed Ron had attempted to bite the napkin and was gagging on it, "Let's just hope the teacher of Quilling is perfectly sane."
"That wouldn't be our only issue," Harry blinked as Ron had now attempted to tear the napkin to pieces to chew it more efficiently.
"Uh oh," George winced, "Here comes you know who 'you know who...'
"VOLDEMORT!" Ron shrieked. He had swallowed the napkin already and now was looking around wildly, while everyone in the Great Hall was staring at him, several squinting and covering their ears.
"You okay Ron?" said Hermione from behind him worriedly, "You look..." Ron turned around eyes popping out, "...not sane."
Before Ron could answer, the doors of the Great Hall bust open, and there stood someone looking just as sane as Ron.
It was an exact replica of Un-a-bridged, except looking more healthy, and taller. She seemed to weigh less too.
"HELLO ALL MY PEOPLE! I AM HERE TO TEACH QUILLING!" She bellowed, and several students were knocked off their seats as her voice echoed through the Great Hall, "CAN YOU ALL HEAR ME?"
"She must've forgotten her hearing aid," Dumbledore annouced with a pale face, "Please join us at the table Professor Umbridge!" Dumbledore yelled weakly.
"WHAT!" Umbridge bellowed again, and all those who remained still in their seats either jumped in shock or tumbled to the floor.
Ginny was one of those who fell hard on the ground, and had the split second to notice Dumbledore wave his wand sternly. Umbridge was sent flying to the Head Table.
"That doesn't look like any Umbridge that much," Ron whimpered, "But either way, she has a way with threats."
"She's teaching Quilling," Hermione repeated blankly, "But she's a witch!"
"Duh," said Harry.
"I think she can speak normally know... she's chatting to Dumbledore..." Ginny frowned.
"She probably really did have a hearing aid," said Hermione replied, "I have a feeling that she's perfectly sane, just on medications. She's just as sane as Lockhart," Hermione glowed.
Everyone who heard her groaned.

"G' morning class," Umbridge said as her class walked into her classroom.
"'Mornin'," a few people mumbled, although she didn't seem to mind.
"As you know, Quilling is the art of writing. Supposedly, writing and reading was first created in the Stone Age, when the first witch made a writing spell to send a curse upon all future generations. However I disagree. I believe it was created when the world was young, and there came a species, one that brought pure inspiration to all future generations. And guess what! I brought to school that very species today!"
"Really?" Ginny raised her eyebrows.
"Really, er... Ms. --" Umbridge blinked.
"...Weasel. And that species would be?" Ginny stared.
"SHEEP!" Umbridge glowed.
"Yeay!" Most of her classmates, including herself cheered.
"Sheep," Hermione looked agrivated, "A teacher who brings sheep to class! Who in the world would bring barn animals to school!"
Everyone dared glance at Ginny Weasel.
"If you can't respect sheep, I'm sure you won't get to far in my class..."
"What!" Hermione gasped, frustrated, "Barn animals have nothing to do with education!"
Umbridge rolled her eyes. However it was Ron who answered, "It's for inspiration 'Mione, get with the big picture..."
"I hate barn animals!" Hermione shrieked as Ginny attempted to hand her a little baby lamb, "Ew! Gross! Ginny, you don't know where that filthy animals been!" The class grew silent.
"You're right," Ginny sighed, "Professor, did you herd these yourself or buy them illegally? If it's illegal, don't worry we won't tell!"
"Hooray!" The class continued cheering.
"Ugh," said Hermione, and that was the only word she muttered until after class.

"Welcome back Professor!" Hermione smiled, "To Hogwarts!" Gilderoy Lockhart didn't seem to hear her and was instead playing with a doorknob.
"Er..." Hermione frowned, "Take my hand..."
"Ew! Gross! But I don't know where you've been!"
"Oh please..." Hermione rolled her eyes, "Just follow me! I er... want autographs!"
"Really?" Lockhart turned his attention to her, "Depends... how much?"
"How does several thousand sound?" Hermione smiled truthfully.
"Ooooooh! Yeay! I just learned joined-up writing you know! And I think there was something else you had to tell me... like you had a strange case of dangerous anger?"
"Uh, no, never mind that. I need the autographs. Gotta get money, ya know..."
"Excuse me?"
"Money... for more autograph pictures!"
"Hoorah!" Lockhart smiled, "I learned the alphabet, wanna hear me sing it?"
"Uh, actually..." Hermione turned away.
"A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R..." Hermione stopped listening at D. Two little letters she needed to practice.

Yes, I agree, this is a very strange chapter. Lockhart hasn't changed much, has he?

Hmm... well, the next chapter will overall, be continuing this one. The DA isn't looking too good... which Lockhart will try to fix. There will be a concert, badgers and mushrooms (inspired by friend), and Bid-Itch practice.