"Why is it?" Hermione asked Lockhart frustrated, "That each time I come up with an idea, it stinks!"
"It's not my fault you come up with ridiculous ideas," Lockhart answered, before playing with his hair, "And when would you like that batch of autographs?"
Hermione turned away, "Forget the autographs... do something..." Lockhart started playing with the doorknob again, "Smart."
"Aren't I?"
So naturally, Hermione decided to give him a sleeping pill...

"You knocked out Lockhart?" Ron asked joyfully, "I'm so proud of you!"
"Go Hermione!" Harry exclaimed, "How about as a treat, you don't need to show up for Bid-Itch practice today!" He smiled falsely.
"Oh..." Hermione frowned, "You know what, I really don't want to go, but the team needs me... I mean, after all, I am the best..."
"You've been around Lockhart too long Hermione," Hermione raised an eyebrow at Ron, "...And I'm just fine with that!"
"Good, now Ron?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up." As if on cue, the common room portrait flung open revealing Colin with a flushed face.
"Guess what?" he asked the room happily, "Guess who actually will be playing at the Great Hall tomorrow at 7?" When the trio shrugged, he answered, "The Badgers and Mushrooms, of course!"
"Oh..." said Harry, feeling confused. He had never heard of a band like that. Was it named in honor of Hufflepuff? Ginny had just arrived at that moment. Harry looked around to see his friends' reactions. Hermione wore a frown. Ron, a smirk. Ginny, a straight face.
"Yes I heard," Ginny said, "But the Badgers and Mushrooms aren't really a big deal..." Ron was snickering. "..As far as I heard, they're also rather short tempered..." Ron cracked up now.
"Ron, what is so funny?" Hermione asked.
"The Badgers...are the band..." Ron subdued a laugh, "They're...tiny."
"Tiny?"
"Yeah, they're what two feet at the most?"
"The Badgers... and the Mushrooms?"
"The Mushrooms..." Ron echoed, "The badgers name their instruments mushrooms..."
The trio along with Ginny cracked up.
"That's really not funny," said Colin, "They've got skills! They play guitars!"
"Here's another thing," Ron snickered, "They play these boxes with strings on them and they 'strum' them. They call that music! I call that--"
"Watch it Ron!" Hermione warned him.
"Oh, right, sorry."
"Well, we'll b late for Bid-Itch if we don't hurry up. C'mon let's go..." Hermione frowned.

"Here's how it works," Hermione said to her bored team, "The first tactic will be called Chocolate Milk."
The team nodded slowly.
"This new strategy requires all players, even the Center, to attack the opponent's Center."
"That's it?" asked Ginny.
"Right."
"Then why is it called Chocolate Milk?"
"I was thirsty when I came up with the strategy."
"Hermione," Ginny paused, "You're crazy."
"Thanks Ginny," Hermione smiled thoughtfully, "But my friends say I'm smart..."
"Yo, captain!" Forge frowned, "Are we allowed to hit the Center in the shins?"
"Well," Hermione said, "You see, Malfoy's the Center. You can hit him anywhere as long as you're positive you'll give him as much pain as possible."
"That sounds very..." Gred paused, "Abnormal of you."
"Thanks," Hermione grinned, "But you could call me clever."
"How will I live with myself?"
"Chocolate Milk..." Harry snickered, as the team set off to try the strategy out.