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Don't Forget About Me
Chapter Nine: Truths
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Henry had come back into the room as Hyde finished threatening him. I was just so relieved to see him that I let out a nervous breath I hadn't even realised I'd been holding. As soon as Hyde slammed the door shut behind him Henry had turned around with this huge grin on his face, and we'd all just started laughing.
Henry smiled at me, and his smile reached his eyes and his soul, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him smile like that. He walked towards me and pulled me up towards him and said, "I don't think he's coming back for a while, feel like going out back again?"
I nodded numbly at him, realising that the electric shock that went through my body was not instinctual, but more. Something else, something that meant I was falling.
And somehow, after the already strange events of the day, the six of us had ended up sitting towards the back of the library, half of us lounging around on the floor, the others sitting on the tables around us.
There were quiet mummers coming from Dalby and Belle who were sitting on the ground next to one another, blissfully unaware of life that was passing them by. Matilda was staring out the window, avoiding any gazes Lucas was sending her way, in the hopes that whatever had begun between them would be explained by the end of the day.
And Henry? Well, he was looking at me like he had been all morning. Gazing as if I was the only soul alive. Searching for an explanation. Searching for feelings or emotions… something that told him my feelings were the same as his.
I looked away from his eyes and pulled out my sketchbook as an overwhelming urge to finish the picture overcame me. I looked at the outlines I had drawn, of six figures that shared no common ground. Six figures who were alone against the evils of the world.
How much we had changed since then.
"Cassie" Matilda said, bringing me out of my thoughts
"Hmm," I replied, looking towards her.
"Cassie, I'm sorry about everything." She said finally, a worried look crossing her face. "I just wanted to fit in, at boarding school… and you, you were my best friend, and it was so hard without you there." She rambled on and on, talking about everything that had happened.
I stood up and walked across the window to Matilda and pulled her into a tight hug.
"It's okay Maddie." I said, using the age-old nickname I'd given her when we were seven years old. "It's all okay Maddie, it's in the past and we can't change that. But we can change the future, right?"
She looked out the window again, before sighing softly and replying "I don't know if I can change Cass. I don't know what to do."
I put the picture I'd begun to draw back into my book and shut it quickly.
"Come on" I said, taking her hand and pulling her up "We'll go figure it out."
I looked towards Lucas and Henry who caught my drift and began to follow Maddie and I.
This was it, I thought to myself as we left Dalby and Belle alone. This was that moment that would determine how everything worked out. We were all confused, alone, and tired of pretending. This was the moment that would allow me to fill in the faces of the lone figures in the drawing.
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"Tell me a secret. Something no one else knows. Then maybe, I'll consider trusting you." Dalby said, looking me straight in the eyes.
How had it suddenly just become he and I alone in a room together? Where had everyone else gone? Everyone else just happened to have something more important to do? In Saturday detention?
Looking back into the blue eyes that belonged to Dalby, and he alone, I swallowed the nervous lump that had somehow formed in my throat. Why was being alone with Dalby making me feel this way?
Gee, maybe it's because of the way he kissed you, or the way he held you, or the way he's been looking at you since nine this morning.
Maybe it's just him in general.
"Look Taylor. You tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine. This whole 'truth' thing was your idea, remember?"
Yeah and what a great idea it was turning out to be, I thought sarcastically to myself.
I dug deep. If he wanted honest, he would get it.
"You have to swear on your life that no mocking will occur, or that this will never be mentioned again. Otherwise, I'll kill you." I finished, shoving my hand out, waiting for him to shake it, agreeing to the terms.
He looked at it warily, before smirking and grabbing my hand, shaking it vigorously.
"You've got yourself a deal Taylor. Now spill."
Taking in a deep breath, I looked down, refusing to meet his eyes. This was going to be embarrassing enough, without seeing his initial reaction.
"I cry every time I watch the new Peter Pan movie." I said quietly.
Counting down the seconds in my head, it took exactly three before the dickhead burst into fits of laughter.
"When Wendy kisses Peter, then he leaves her. I just can't help it. I always wanted to meet Peter Pan and fly off to Neverland, and live forever as a kid. Life was so much easier then." I cried out, before turning away from him and sulking.
I didn't take being laughed at well. Not at all.
"Aww I'm sorry Belle." Dalby managed to get out in between laughs, "But I thought you were going to tell me something serious, because you are always serious. Sitting up the back with that same 'I'm better than everyone else' look on your face, analyzing us for our fatal flaws. Then you come out with 'I cry in Peter Pan.' Christ, how could I not laugh?" Dalby said, composing himself for a moment before bursting into laughs again.
"Tell me your secret then." I said, wanting desperately for him to stop focusing on me. "Let's see if yours is deep and meaningful like you expected mine to be, or shallow and stupid, like I'm expecting it to be." I finished rather harshly, challenging him to suck it up and tell me something real.
He looked at me for a long time after that. I felt like he was trying to look into my soul. It lasted so long, I was about to launch into a spiel about beginning to feel violated when he jumped off the table he'd moved onto and sat down next to me on the floor. He looked down towards me, and smiled a weird smile before he whispered in my ear, "I own all the Backstreet Boys CDs."
Instead of laughing aloud like he had, I smirked right at him. "I bet there's a Hanson CD in there too in that case."
His groaning was all the indication I needed to know that I was correct.
Dalby had once upon a time been a boy band junkie.
Who'd have thunk it?
"Wanting to explore the wide variety of boy bands the pop genre has to offer during your youth is nothing to be ashamed of Eric…" I began in a mocking tone.
Dalby groaned more before shoving me over as we both began to laugh, mainly because of the stupid truths we'd told one another, afraid to share any real truths.
Well, that was my reason, anyhow.
"So, you considering trusting me yet, or do I have to break into somewhere and steal something before I can pass the test?" I mocked more.
"Not yet at least. You've passed the personality test. Breaking and entering comes after the 'how much alcohol can you stand' test. God, don't you know anything about being a bogan criminal?" Dalby deadpanned.
I laughed as he gently cupped my face and pulled me towards him. His lips met my own again, and there was so much heat, so much fire, that I forgot for the moment that we were in Saturday detention. Instead, I was lost in loves embrace.
And it actually didn't make me want to gag.
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"Aww ain't love grand?" I said mocking from my position leaning against the bookshelf as I watched Belle quickly pull away from Dalby and try to tidy herself.
"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to stare?" Dalby growled at me, obviously annoyed to the max that I'd interrupted his little make out session. Like I cared, if I wasn't getting any, no one was getting any.
"We were bored sall." I said as I pulled out a chair and sat down into it, pulling my best puppy dog face.
"Is it over?" Maddie said from her position behind the bookshelves.
"You mean you all saw that?" Belle asked shocked, her face paling in fear.
"Yes" Maddie said, uncovering her eyes as she, Lucas and Cassie appeared.
"Oh my god" Belle groaned, her face hidden under her hands, trying to hide the embarrassment she felt.
"Insulted much?" I threw at Dalby, who growled at me in an almost joking way. It was all fun and games here, all the hostilities of the morning had disappeared now.
"We were really bored." Maddie explained as she sat down on the floor Indian style "And we thought we could come and chat with you guys."
"Obviously we didn't know about your, extracurricular activities" Lucas said "Otherwise we'd never have interrupted in such a rude manner."
"Oh I'm sure Henry would have" Dalby snarked at me "Isn't getting any of his own so he has to stop those who are." His eyes met mine, and I knew he was half-joking, half-serious, but it didn't phase me like it would have that morning.
"Why don't we ask Belle about that?" I replied, laughing a little as I sat down, leaning towards the group.
"Huh?" She replied, momentarily confused before realisation crossed her face.
"Don't even think about going there Henry Hunter, I know your secrets." She threatened me as she moved slightly away from Dalby.
"Well now I'm damn curious." Dalby said, smirking towards Belle then me. "Please feel free to share Henry"
"Oh I don't know, maybe Belle should do the sharing in this case." I replied happily as Belle's face grew red with embarrassment.
"I hate you Henry Hunter." She said, glaring at me before sucking in a deep breath, and running her words together.
"Atapartyinyear9HenryandIkindahookedup." She said quickly, looking away from the stares everyone was giving her.
The silence was only broken when Dalby decided to laugh at the stupidity of the whole situation.
"Hey" Belle said as she hit him in the chest, obviously insulted that Dalby thought this was so utterly hilarious.
"You never told me that Henry" Maddie said loudly from her position on the floor as she looked between Belle and I, trying to see if there was some kind of hidden connection she'd missed.
I can tell you, there was no such thing.
"It was a one off." I shrugged "She and I never really discussed it after that."
"Because you were too pigheaded to bother." Belle muttered.
"Excuse me? Were you not the one who stayed at least one hundred meters away from me whenever I came near?" I asked, confused by what she'd said.
"Only because I didn't want to get my heart even more broken."
"What now?" Maddie asked from beside Belle. A confession like that doesn't come around every day.
She cleared her throat, obviously embarrassed by what she'd just revealed to the group.
"I may have, at one stage, during my angsty teenage years… had a slight crush on Henry." Belle said rather quietly, refusing to look anyone in the eyes "And if I'd have spoken to him, he'd have rejected me… so I left things how they were. And he assumed we'd both simply had a little too much fun at a party." She explained, as she finally looked up and met my eyes.
How do you tell someone they are wrong, when you know that up until a couple of hours ago, they would've been completely right?
I looked at her, and tried to form the right kind of words in my head. Tried to formulate the right kind of sentence that would make it all go away. But as I was going through this, inner turmoil, she smiled at me. And it was in that smile that I saw the understanding she had. She knew I was sorry for being an ass, and that today, today had helped me to change. And she knew we were alright.
And I was so grateful for that smile.
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"Wow" I said, under my breath, watching the simple exchange between Belle and Henry which meant so much more to both of them.
Henry would never have joked around with Dalby like that at the beginning of the day. And Dalby, he wouldn't have given Henry, or the rest of us, the time of day. Lucas would have still been lost in his own little corner, probably doing extra homework he'd asked the teachers for. And Belle and Cassie would have been in teen angst land, hating the cruel world for their misfortunes.
At the beginning of the day we'd been six strangers, alone against the world. And somewhere along the line, that had changed. For them. Had it changed for me?
Would I be able to greet them in the hallway? I thought as I looked towards Belle and Cassie, who were now smiling at one another, secrets being exchanged with every smile that passed. If Dalby decided to go all 'big brother' on me, and pick me up and run down the corridor with me over his shoulder, would I simply play it down as a practical joke made by the schools sick and twisted bad boy who had it in for me?
I looked at Lucas, who was studying me for what seemed like the thousandth time today. If he came up behind me at my locker, and wrapped his strong arms around me, and pulled me into his warm, loving embrace, would I shriek in horror and run away, feigning innocence and pity on the poor loser who was so obviously deluded.
A wry smile formed on my face as I realised come Monday, I had no idea how to handle any situation placed infront of me.
"I've been pretending to be someone I'm not for the last five years." I said softly, as Belle and Cassie stopped laughing and looked towards me, wondering what I'd say next. "And while you might be able to come to school and act like today was the most life altering thing, and that you've changed your ways, and accepted each other into your lives… I don't know if I'll be able to do that."
There was silence, and I guessed this meant everyone was either too shocked, or too pissed off to speak. So I continued, because these things needed to be said.
"It's hard enough, facing the people who pretend to be my friends day in and out. We're like, queen bitches, there is no one in this school one of us hasn't bitched at, or about, us included. But it's who I became. It's what I've wanted to live like. And just turning up on Monday and saying 'I've got real friends now, see you later.'… I don't know if I'm strong enough to do that. It's hard for me, you know? It's always been hard to be in my position."
I looked up and tried to meet the eyes of any of them, trying to see if they understood where I was coming from, what I was trying to say. That I didn't want them to get hurt in the process of me being me, I didn't want to drag them down with me. I didn't want to ruin them like I'd ruined myself.
Finally, Lucas' eyes met my own. But instead of acceptance, there was anger and hurt. And more fury than I'd ever seen.
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Something inside me finally snapped. There was so much pent up anger and frustration that I'd held back all day.
Matilda just didn't know when to stop. Or to start. I'd listened to her complain all day about being here. Listened to her go on and on about her life. We all had. Someone needed to tell her what the reality was. I thought we'd gotten through to her… that I might have gotten through to her. But what she said just now, well, that made me snap.
"The world does not revolve around you." I shouted, halting her self pity party. "You've got this great thing in high school, putting down anyone you don't accept. Being all that, being above everything and everyone else in this entire school. But for people like you, this doesn't happen after school. You're only important when you're in school. Not for the rest of your life. Don't you get that, or are you too self absorbed to understand?" I finished, as Matilda's face became red with rage, while everyone else sitting in the circle turned to me, stunned that I'd actually had the guts to say something like that to her.
She looked at me, long and hard. Her eyes forming icy slits, which could only mean that I'd managed to royally piss off her highness.
Then all hell broke lose.
"You think I don't know that Lucas?" Matilda screamed into my face, her eyes beginning to well with tears.
"You think I don't know that after high school you'll be going off to better things, while I'll end up working as a checkout chick because I partied too much and didn't focus on studies? At least when I was at boarding school, I had a chance to end up as a trophy wife. But here? In hell? I'm know I'm going to be a nothing after school." She finished quietly, her eyes becoming wide as she realised the enormity of her statement.
"I know that people like you, or Belle, or Cassie have a hope of getting out of here. You have talent in something other than shopping and doing hair and make-up and gossiping. Even Henry has a chance of a football scholarship to one of the Universities. However, I know I'm in the league of people like Dalby when it comes to stuff like…"she trailed off, as we all sat, stunned by the bitter truth she had spoken
Everyone except Dalby that was. He had shot a sharp glare towards Matilda after she dared to place them into the same category.
"It doesn't have to be like that." Belle said suddenly, softly.
"Yes, because in the short amount of time I have left in school, I can suddenly become a brain like Lucas over there." She spat at Belle venomously. "And then everything would just be peachy keen wouldn't it? I'd be able to actually have some kind of future. Here I was thinking you had a clear grasp on life, when you're just as deluded as the rest of us." Maddie said, shooting one final glare at everyone before walking away from the group, and sitting on one of the tables, turning her body away so she wouldn't have to be involved any more.
"Well at least I'm open to ideas to getting out of here, and not wallowing in self pity, while beating down on anyone else who they think is below them." Belle barked back, before storming off into another direction, just as Dalby stood up angrily and began walking at a fast pace towards the back of the Library.
Apparently what Matilda had said about him not having a future had cut him fairly deep.
I guess everyone had his or her own little secrets. Too bad they were all unraveling around us today.
Sighing, I put my head down on the desk, wondering how I'd managed to ruin whatever bonding had just been occurring within the group. But it hadn't been just me. We all had our own issues. They were just hidden a lot deeper than Matilda's was.
Or maybe she was the one who actually understood reality.
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Damn Matilda Hunter. Damn everyone, damn them to hell.
I had a future. Despite what Matilda thought about me being that highschool dropkick that's the loser in all of the Hollywood movies, I had passions and dreams and a future all planned out infront of me.
She just hadn't taken the time to ask me about it. Neither had they. They'd all just assumed about my life. I was so sick and tired of people doing that to me, I was so angry, at myself, for actually thinking that things in school could change. That they could change.
That I could change.
I turned around and hit the brick wall behind me, just as Belle rounded the corner, having gone looking for me soon after I'd walked off.
"Annoyed much?" She said as I sank down against the brick wall, coming to a stop when I hit the hard ground.
I looked up to see her concerned eyes lock with mine as she crouched down next to me and took my hands in hers.
"Maddie was wrong." She said firmly, as she threaded her fingers through my own. "You've got a past and a future Eric Dalby, and you're not some highschool dropout. You're funny and witty and at some stages throughout today I've thought you're too intelligent for your own good." She continued as she inched closer to the ground, and to me.
"And you can be sweet and caring when you want to be too." She finished, nudging me with her knee and blushing, looking away from my intense gaze.
I opened my mouth to give her some kind of reply, when a movement caught my eye. I groaned before pulling Belle back to her feet and dragged her quickly back to the group.
I was met with a mixed reaction, but didn't dwell on it for too long.
"Hyde's coming." I said, and we all scrambled back to our seats, making it just in time to see Hyde slam the doors open and stomp into the room.
You could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears.
"I know you left this room today."
No room for bullshit with him.
"And I know Mr. Hunter is covering for one, or possibly more than one of you lot." Hyde continued. "But it really doesn't matter. Because one way or another you'll end up back here." He spat at us.
And none of us looked at him.
"Want to know why?"
Something told me this wasn't going to be exactly rhetorical.
"Because you are kind of people who have to future. You are the kind of children who waste their lives in detention, and go on to do nothing in life. Because you're tainted. No one wants to touch you. And you'll fade into history, be forgotten, because you are no bodies." He said softly, cruelly, looking each of us in the eye.
"And your lives, they'll be worthless, because of the mistakes you made as children. You'll be nothing." He finished almost calmly as he walked out and slammed the door behind him.
"#& YOU" I screamed out as the door slammed shut, punching the desk then kicking my chair. Why did I let him get to me, when everyone else was so damn unaffected by him?
"I'm sorry," Maddie said quietly from her position between Cassie and Belle.
I looked up and laughed bitterly "What on earth for? You were telling the truth before. The honest truth. I have no future."
"No." She cried, "Hyde is an idiot. He's bitter and twisted and he's slowly dying from that. But we've got all this time to have a life and plan a future. We've still got time. Something that he doesn't have." She finished firmly, looking around at each and every one of us.
We six who had started out as strangers. We six who were finishing as friends.
"Thanks Matilda Hunter." I said, as I looked up and matched the smile she was giving me.
"You're welcome Eric Dalby. Now I'm borrowing your girlfriend so we can have some quality girl time." She said, grabbing Belle's hand and leading she and Cassie to a corner.
It struck me moments later that neither Belle nor I had corrected her.
In fact, I kind of liked the sound of it.
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AN: And now we all go 'Awww'. A huge hug to katya (aka. Kate) for proofing this. You rock girl! I hope you guys are liking it. Only a couple more chapters to go though. Its almost that time of the day, but what will happen once Detention is over? Thanks for reviewing :D
