From one of the two authors of what might have been the first G.I. Joe/Ranma fic "GI Ranma", the worst possible self insert ever.
Laying it on the Line by Lioconvoy.
Ranma ½ is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi, and Angelic Layer is the creation of CLAMP. I own none of their characters nor do I own any of other well knows characters that may appear in this story. The story itself is mine and I ask for no money.
In the Nerima ward of Tokyo a masked man stood in front of a Dojo, the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Less then a year ago this dojo became his base of operations. Operations that thanks to the middle daughter tended to meet in failure and jail time.
Hiraishin frowned. Once again the feeble jails of Japan were unable to contain the great and powerful Dew Master. After escaping earlier that morning he had kidnapped the fat fool responsible for his stay at this dojo and sold him once again to a zoo.
As he entered the Dojo he saw the eldest daughter cleaning the floors and sweeping the remains of bricks the youngest daughter had decimated. "Greetings Kasumi, I need Mountain Dew. I have exhausted my connection to the Dew this morning."
"Oh Kris-chan, you've escaped again." Kasumi beamed. "I'm sorry we're out right now."
"Kris? I know no Kris. I am Hiraishin!" The thief frowned. He then pulled out his wallet and handed some cash to Kasumi. "Buy me more Dew. This I command."
"Sure, would you like anything else while I'm at the store?" The family matriarch said taking the money then putting down the broom.
"Hiraishin only requires Mountain Dew, hmm, but Cheetos would be good to munch on."
-v-v-v-v-v-v-
Akane the youngest Tendo daughter frowned in her room. Her life was a disaster. If the problems with Kuno and the local school boys weren't enough, her father had to make things worse by allowing his old friend and son stay with them.
The old friend was a fat, bald, and well "old" man, some of the time, but most of the time he was a panda. How and why the old man turned into a panda was never really explained to her well, she was just told it was a curse.
The old friend's son, now he was a weird one, even compared to a father that turned into a panda. He always wore black pants, a black and green t-shirt with the letters DX on the front, black army boots and now for the weird parts; a green mask covering his eyes, a black bandana covering his hair, and a black cape with a green letter "H" on the back.
Hiraishin, the son's name was a thief, always stealing things from any business located in the ward. Although Nabiki would always turn him in, after a night in jail he'd escape and be right back at their house in the morning after selling his father to a zoo.
When he wasn't stealing or in jail he was always ranting about the "Dew" or how he was a Dew Master. Strange things happened around him too. One time Kuno had came to the dojo calling him a foul sorcerer. Before he could spout off one of his usual stupid speeches he started choking. Hiraishin just stood there with his hand held out as if it was around Kuno's neck but it wasn't. Shortly after Kuno had to be rushed to the hospital and that was that last Akane had seen of him for a while. When the sword boy got out of the hospital he never again he challenged Hiraishin or came anywhere near the dojo.
-v-v-v-v-v-v-
In the Juban Ward's Piffle Princess the middle Tendo daughter got up from a rented layer after defeating her opponents Angel. "You know the deal; I don't tell you where your precious ladle is until you can beat me."
"Yes I'm aware of that Nabiki. I will honor our agreement." Her opponent outwardly frowned, but inwardly smiled. Six month ago he and his escorts arrived in Japan searching for the thief that stole their sacred treasure the Chiisuiton. Shortly after arriving in Japan he met this woman who promised she provide the location of the Chiisuiton if only he beat her in this game.
At first Herb seriously tried to beat her, but as time went on he found the missing Chiisuiton a less urgent matter. Lime and Mint found themselves women, and he found himself falling for Nabiki. Japan was different then the Musk village, but he was enjoying his stay. "Tell me Nabiki, this tournament coming up. If I get farther then you do, would that be the same as beating you?"
"Do you plan on entering the singles or the doubles category?" Nabiki really enjoyed Herb's company. Although those that didn't know her well thought the deal was made so she could squeeze him for more money, the fact was she thought he was handsome and made it so she could get to know him. To all but her closest friends she was an Ice Queen who only cared only about money. Those same friends knew she wasn't close to being the Ice Queen, Jounouchi-san was.
"Hou Long, and I will be in the singles since you have declined partnering with me already." Now Herb's frown was sincere, he would have enjoyed partnering with Nabiki. However when he asked her she said she already had one.
"Hmm, I didn't plan on doing the singles myself. My partner will though, if you could beat her, or get farther then her that would be the same as beating me." At this she giggled. Her partner's angel only ever lost to the other members of their circle, normally to Hikaru or Shirahime. Last year when she was partnered with Hikaru for the doubles was the first time some one outside of their circle beat her and that was to Artemis and Ares, the golden pair.
-v-v-v-v-v-v-
Xian Pu tried to hate Mu Tzu. He was annoying, since childhood he never once left her alone, always asking her to marry him. Over and over she rejected him by force; it never got though his thick skull. But now he had not been seen in a little over a year, for some reason she missed the idiot. The attention he always gave her, the fact that he was willing to do anything for her even after being rejected so many times, he truly loved her. Yet she had hated him.
She thought to herself, did she truly hate him? She was trying her best too, but she knew she was failing. Maybe as much as the thought sickened her, she truly missed the fool.
-v-v-v-v-v-v-
Nabiki waved goodbye to Herb as he left to find his attendants. She then felt a slight tug on her sleeve. Looking down she met eyes with a ten year old with long black hair. "Time for our training Hatoko?"
"Yes." The little girl replied smiling. "Koutarou's renting a large layer for us."
"Oh, your brother's here today? Doesn't he normally spend this time training in your family Dojo?" Nabiki asked puzzled. Normally when she and Hatoko practiced it was Kaede and Sai that they spared against. Sometimes the Fujisaki sisters would show up too, and Misaki tried to make it when she could but her father like dragging her around the world over the weekends. As they continued their conversation they made their way back into the Piffle Princess.
"He was supposed to be on a date with Misaki, but she and her father went to the U.S. to calibrate the layers for the tournament. Instead of having him pine at home I brought him with me. He's not much competition, but Ringo escaped her manager and is on her way too." Hatoko may have been younger then her brother, but it was very rare that anyone could tell by the way she acted.
"What about Sia and Kaede?" Someone who didn't know the middle tendo well might think she use the chance to meet an Idol to make some profit, truth be told all she could think of was getting one autograph for Akane.
"Kaede has work and Sia's on a date." This made Hatoko giggle.
"The Ice Queen is on a date?" That news was a bit of a shock. Unlike herself, Sia really was an Ice Queen. Not as emotionless as Nabiki often pretended to be, she had emotions just never showed them, to anyone.
"Yep, he's from England and he's so persistent she gave in and agreed to go out with him." Hatoko giggled again. She couldn't wait for Nabiki to realize who Sia's date was.
"YOU DON'T MEAN RANGER'S DUES!" the shock Tendo shouted a little too loud.
"What about Ranger's Dues?" Said a young woman who was dressed like Makoto from the anime with all those freaky looking mecha. She had just snuck up behind them.
"Sia is going out with Marcus." Nabiki came out of her shock after seeing Ringo's latest disguise. How Ringo could escape her manager dressed like that she'd never know.
Finally arriving at the layer Nabiki, Hatoko, and Ringo sat down and joined Koutarou.
-v-v-v-v-v-v-
Ox Zi smiled as she opened a letter from her brother in America. Mu Tzu wrote her often and it was always good to hear how he was doing. Before she could start reading the letter though, there was a knock at her door.
Getting up to answer it she found the Matriarch standing before her. "Greetings Elder Kuh Lon , may I help you?"
"Yes dear, how much do you know about Angelic Layer?" The withered Amazon said hopping into the small hut. As she hopped in she peered at the open letter. "Does your friend Lyn here play it?"
"She does. She's entering her first Tournament this year." Ox Zi frowned the elders had stopped reading her mail only a month ago, but Kuh Lon would always find some excuse to stop by long enough to skim over her letters from her brother. Fortunately Mu Tzu never used his real name and never gave any details that would lead anyone to believe the letters were from him. As far as anyone who read them was concerned they were from a girl Ox Zi randomly chose to get information of the outside world from.
"Child your brother is a criminal, just because the elders are no longer worried about this girl sending you information on him it does not mean I trust her. Lyn is your family name, I find it odd that is your friends name as well." After finishing her scan Kuh Lon looked at Ox Zi. "I however am not here for that matter. The council has decided to allow Xian Pu to leave the village to play that game. I would escort my grand daughter myself, but the council decided against it. You were chosen to be her escort."
"I didn't know my Grandmother had that much faith in me." Still frowning Ox Zi figured out what Kuh Lon and the council were thinking. Kuh Lon had been grooming Xian Pu to be her replacement, but in her current state she was un-trainable. Kuh Lon saw this trip to the outside world as a chance to free her granddaughter's mind of Mu Tzu. The council saw this as chance to get rid of Kuh Lon's heir and the last of the disgraced Lyn family.
"You know she does not, like your mother before you, she thinks you disgrace her family name. Your Mother lost to your father on purpose, and you could not control your brother." The ancient Amazon sighed. "The council expects my Granddaughter to return a failure. See to it she does not and you may yet reclaim some of your own lost honor."
Watching the Kuh Lon leave her hut Ox zi smiled. She would be leaving the village. Since Mu Tzu left she had not been allowed to step outside the village gate. Now she was being set free thanks to the animosity amongst members of the council of elders. She began to pack with plans never of returning, if Xian Pu decides to return she would do so alone.
-v-v-v-v-v-v-
Time… it was now thee p.m. in Japan. In the United States where Lio lived it would be five a.m. Lio would not be awake for another hour. Hiraishin sat contemplating many things drinking the Dew which Kasumi brought him and munching on some Cheetos.
Among the many things going though his head the events that brought him to this place were above all else. He and Lio had traveled to China in search of the answer to the ultimate question. Despite what Lio believed it was not 42.
According to his master Soda a great Dew Sage lived in the valley of Jusendo. However it was not his destiny to meet this sage. No instead he had met Genma Saotome.
It had started as one night when their two camps happen to be near each other. At some point Hiraishin went to Genma's camp to steal some of their supplies, hoping maybe they had some Dew as his stock was running low. When he got there he was able to steal some food and some scrolls that looked expensive, but Genma's camp lacked Dew.
When he returned to his own with his haul he found his own camp now lacked Dew. Apparently while he was stealing from Genma, Genma stole from him. This continued for several days as Hiraishin decided to follow Genma in an attempt to show that he was the better thief. Lio annoyingly did nothing to thwart Genma, and Genma had a son that did nothing to stop him.
After a week they arrived at Genma's destination…Jusenkyo. It was a valley of many springs with bamboo polls in popping out of them. Genma and his son, Hiraishin latter learned was named Ranma, hopped upon the poles and started sparring.
He remembered commenting to Lio that these kinds of fights were much more interesting then Angelic Layer, which Lio often force him to play. As the fight continued Ranma knocked Genma into a spring.
The boy said something about the fight being over already and then a panda jumped from the spring onto a poll. He remembered laughing at the panda as it took a fighting stance.
The Guide there commented about it being a very bad thing, something about Spring of Drowned panda. Then another very bad thing happened, the Panda knocked the boy into a spring. The guide commented that the spring the boy fell into was the spring of drowned girl, sure enough when the boy surface he opened the gi he was wearing to reveal a nice set of breasts.
It was then Lio went to help the shocked boy turned girl out of the spring. A nasty idea crossed Hiraishin's mind, and when Lio grabbed hold of the girls arm Hiraishin knocked him into the spring as well, his payback for having to endure that stupid doll game.
Ranma, having gone under twice now, once by his pop and once by Lio falling on him, was enraged. Never had he felt such a fierce aura, not even his own power in the Dew was that strong. Thinking on his feet he fled, and the Panda with him. Since that day unless by Dewtral projection, Hiraishin never saw Lio again, from then on he was with Genma and Genma's son remained with Lio.
The recollection only killing about thirty minute Hiraishin needed something else to do, but what.
"Ah yes! Mindless destruction! Good for the soul I always say." With those words he pulled out a Gameboy and started playing it.
Lio's Corner:
- Confused at where the story is going or where it's been? Good, I hope that brings you back for more.
- I think this chapter answers both questions that were asked in the reviews. Why Ranma is with Lio, and whether or not Mu Tzu and Lyn were the same person.
- Since this story takes place in three different time zones, I may have chapters that leave out some characters while focusing on others.
- Before it gets asked, no Ranma will not end up with Akane, Shampoo or Ukyo. Who Ranma will end up with hasn't been decided yet, suggestions are welcome, although I don't think I've left many options.
Q-Q
Hiraishin's Omake
Hiraishin gazed at the two teens that stood before him as he sat on his throne.
"I sense much fear in you…Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Suffering leads to hunger. Hunger leads to Cheetos. Cheetos leads to thirst. Thirst leads to Mountain Dew! All things lead to Mountain Dew! Do you understand!
Hiroshi and Daisuki looked at each other before shrugging and then nodding to Hiraishin.
"Yes my Master." They both replied and Hiraishin smiled.
"Excellent. Everything is proceeding exactly as I have foreseen it. Now my underling's! Your Master requires Mountain Dew! Fetch!" Hiroshi looked at Daisuki.
"Are you sure this'll get us chicks?"
"Of course it will. Trust me." The two walked off leaving a cackling Hiraishin.
