Kelly's pov: it's been a couple weeks since we were on vacation in Disney World with the kids and they loved it. I love that we had a real vacation as a family. The girls love their surprised that Stella set up for them at Disney World for their birthday. It's been about two weeks and Stella told me that we were having another baby, that was a total surprised as we got back from Florida about a week ago the kids will be going back to school this coming Monday so they are enjoying their last few days of summer break at their friends house. While Stella and me are at home relaxing with Greyson.
S= ( on the phone) all right see you then
K= was that the doctor
S= yes that was
K= so how soon can they fit us in
S= The earliest appointment they can get us in is next Thursday
K= well at least we have that day off next week
S= that's a good
K= so how are you feeling
S= not too bad I haven't felt sick today
K= that's good to hear
S= I think I am ready for these kids to go back to school already
K= totally agree they are on a whole different level some days
S= let's just hope Greyson Ian our next baby won't act like their siblings
K= let's hope so
We spend some time with Greyson for a while then the older kids come back home. Over the next few days we work and the kids get ready for school. They enjoy their first day back to school they love their new teacher too. No it's time for her first doctors appointment with this new little baby
S= damn it I slept in today
K= yeah but you needed it
S= how did it go getting the kids off to school this morning
K= it was pretty easy they wish you were up to say goodbye to them
S= I do too but I was so tired
K= they understood so are you hungry
S= yes I am just a little
K= all right I will make some breakfast for us while you go and get little man up
S= all right be right back
Stella goes and gets Greyson while I make a little breakfast for her and Greyson since I ate with the older kids.
( in Greyson's rom)
S= good morning my sweet angel did you sleep well ( Greyson nods his head yes) I will take that as a yes let's get you change and go see what daddy made us for breakfast ( in the kitchen)
K= there's my favorite kid but don't tell your siblings
S= you're lucky he can't talk yet
K= I know good thing
S= so what did you make us it smells good in here
K= I just made some French toast
S= sounds good and I think that is Greyson's favorite meal
K= he will eat anything you put in front of him anyways
S= that's a good point
K= so what time is the doctors appointment
S= around 1030
K= okay we got a Little bit before we have to head there
S= oh yeah that gives me time to take a shower before we head out
K= oh yeah
They eat their breakfast once they get done eating Stella hops in the shower while I get myself and Greyson ready for the day about 30 minutes later Stella's out of the shower and dressed
S= I feel much better
K= so that shower felt good
S= oh yeah I didn't want to get out
K= I know the feeling so are you ready to go
S= yes I am let's go
K= come on Greyson
We head to Stella's doctors appointment we arrive within 20 minutes once we are there she signs in and we get called back to the room within 10 minutes the nurse checks her out and takes her vitals and then leaves as we wait for the doctor to come in
S= ( knocking) come in
SD= hey stella hey kelly I guess we are at this point again
S= oh yeah
SD= so how old is this little guy I feel like I just delivered him
K= he is seven months old
SD= wow they grow up fast
S= oh yes they do
SD= so are you ready to see this little one that's in your belly
K= I'm ready I think Greyson is ready too
S= oh yeah
SD= well you know the drill by now
S= oh yes I do
( Stella lays back and lifts up her shirt)
SD= and there is your baby
K= wow it still amazes me each time
S= totally agree
SD= so are you ready to hear the heartbeat
K= yes we are
SD= all right here it is ( heartbeat sound)
S= The best sound in the world
K= totally agree
SD= so you are measuring to be eight weeks so that put your due date around April 20
S= wow that's crazy
SD= so everything else looks good I will see you back here in five weeks if you have any questions just call me anytime
K= we will doctor
S= thanks doctor
SD= no problem congrats and see you guys next time ( she leaves)
S= all right let's go and get some groceries and then head home
K= all right let's go MR. Greyson
We first stop at the front desk to make Stella's next appointment once it's made we head to the grocery store to get the stuff we need that we are running low on. We spent about two hours at the store and then we head home
S= I am going to go put him down he's so sleepy right now
K= all right I will be here bringing in the groceries and putting them away
( 10 minutes later)
S= and he is down for the count
K= he went down pretty
S= yeah he skipped his first nap so he's extra sleepy for this one
K= that's a good point
S= so do you need any help
K= nope I got it handle
S= all right then I will just sit here and watch you do your job
K= so when are we telling everyone that we are having another baby
S= well I been thinking about it and I kind of want to wait a little bit long to tell everyone the news
K= I guess so but May I ask why you want to wait longer
S= well it was fun when I was pregnant with Greyson not to know that he was a boy so I thought maybe we could do something like that with this one
K= yeah how long will we have to wait until we tell everyone
S= I was thinking we only hold the sequel in for a few weeks maybe once I am 15 weeks pregnant we can tell me when the news how does that sound to you.
K= that sounds fine with me now are we keeping a secret from our kids also or not
S= no because our kids are way too smart they would figure it out
K= that is for sure They get their smarts for you
S= oh how sweet
K= I try to be, so do you think Our kids can't keep a secret very long
S= yeah I believe so
I finished putting away the groceries once they were all put away me and so I went and cuddle on the couch watching TV waiting on the older kids to get home from school or Greyson waking up from his nap. A couple hours later Greyson wakes up in the older kids come home from school and then go straight into doing their homework. Well they were doing the homework we have them a little snack. After the homework was done They went and played outside until dinner time. Another two hours later we all sat down and started eating our dinner
K= so kids how was school today
SG= boring as usual
SM= oh yeah especially since I have a couple pop quiz today
LM= oh I love pop quizzes
S= what was your pop quizzes about shay
SM= I had one from math and science
K= how do you think you did on them
SM= i'm not sure we will find out tomorrow
S= I bet you did your best on it
K= so kids me and mommy have something to tell you guys
LM= you do
SG= what is it daddy
K= well you know how Greyson is the baby of the family
LM= yeah he is the best baby
S= yes he is so how would you guys like if we had another little baby join this family
SM= mom are you saying you're having another baby
K= yes she is buddy
SG= no way I get to have a baby sister now
S= well sailor we don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet
LM= well we find out this time around
K= I think we will
SM= either way this baby will be the tiebreaker for this house
S= oh yeah great point there Shay but we are sure are finding out this time around
SG= I can't wait to tell all my aunts and uncles at the fire house the best news ever
K= actually sailor about that
S= we don't want to tell anyone
SM= wait do we have to keep busy
LM= and lied to people you always told us to never lie and tell the truth to everyone
K= you are correct Luna we have always told you that but we are only keeping the secret for a few weeks then we can tell everyone
S= how does that sound
SG= that sounds great
SM= that's fine
LM= I guess I can
K= good job how about we all get milkshakes tonight to celebrate the good news
SM= yes milkshakes my favorite
S= shay you take after me because I love milkshakes and I know the perfect place to get them I showed it to your dad a few years back
K= wow Great memories
S= oh yes they were let's go get them
We finish up our dinner and then we head off to our favorite milkshake spot. Everyone gets their favorite ice cream flavor and we enjoy some family time since the kids have Friday off then we all head home to get a good nights sleep
Stella's POV: it's been a little over two months since we got back from Disney World, and it was just what The family needed. While we were in Florida two big things happen the first thing that happened was Greyson started to call which for us is crazy he's growing up way too fast then the other major thing that happened was I found out me and Kelly are having another baby. I can't wait to see what this baby will be like, when we got back we made an appointment and the doctor told me I was eight weeks long and do toward the end of April, we decided to only tell the kids and Kelly's family for right now just for a few more weeks and then tell anyone else. Kelly's family was so happy to have another family member join. The kids are doing great at not telling anybody the news right now I am 14 1/2 weeks pregnant I have another doctors appointment two weeks ago and everything looked great right now me and Kelly are at home waiting for the kids to get home
K= so how are you feeling now that you are in the second trimester
S= I feel pretty great I think I got pretty lucky like this is reminding me how I was pregnant with Greyson
K= maybe it means that we will have another boy this time around
S= yeah maybe we will find out in a few weeks to see if you were right
K= oh yeah so now that it's been a little over a month since we had the first doctors appointment do you want to share the news with everyone now
S= yeah I don't think our kids can hold any secret any longer
S= I think since we have shift tomorrow we can tell everyone then
K= that sounds great the kids will be happy to finally say out loud
S= oh yeah besides if we wait any longer my belly will start showing and people will soon find out
K= oh yeah
The kids get home about an hour later they do their homework like usual in about a few hours later we all get done eating our dinner
S= so kids we are so proud of you for not telling everyone the news about us having another baby so thank you
LM= your welcome mommy
SM= so can we start telling everyone yet mom and dad
K= well that's why we are bringing it up
S= we decided tomorrow when we go into work we are finally going to tell everyone
SG= yeah I can't wait to say it that I'm having a baby sister
LM= I can't wait to tell my teacher
SM= when will we find out the gender
K= here in the next couple weeks
S= once I have my next appointment we can do a gender reveal to find out the gender
LM= all right
We spend the rest of the night just hanging out as a family the next morning we both get up with the kids get them fuck fest and send them off to school. Once they leave I go jump in the shower as I'm in the shower I start to have stomach cramps but they stop so I finished my shower. But as soon as I was getting dressed they came back and they become painful as ever
K= hey Babe are you dressed yet ( see Stella in pain) are you okay
S= i'm not sure but I have very bad stomach pains
K= do you think we need to go to med
S= I don't know maybe they will go away like they did in the shower
K= okay we will wait a few ( they do but the pain doesn't go away) that's it I'm calling stop or I'm taking you to med right now
S= all right
Kelly picks me up and picks up our wallet and keys in the head off to med. we arrive within 20 minutes
K= Maggie, April Stella is in a lot of pain
A= how long has she been in pain
S= for a little over an hour
ML= All right get her in room four
K= also she is pregnant
A= wait really how far along
S= today I am 15 weeks
ML= I will page Natalie
A= all right we run all of these test will figure out what is causing this pain
K= thanks April
A= it's no problem
April runs some bloodwork on me while Kelly goes and calls the chief that we both won't be in today. When he comes back we just went on Natalie to come in to tell us what is going on
S= I feel like this pain has gone away maybe we jumped ahead and came in too soon when we didn't need to
K= I hope you're right but the way you looked when you were in pain scared me
S= well hopefully Natalie comes in soon to help ease our worries
We wait another 45 minutes until Natalie returns
NM= hey guys sorry guys it took so long for me to pop in
K= it's no problem
S= yeah I think the pain has gone down since we got here
A= well that's good to know
NM= so all your test results came back normal Kind of
K= what do you mean kind of
NM= Stella have you had a doctors appointment recently
S= yeah I had one about two weeks ago
A= did you have a ultrasound done when you were there
S= yes I did
K= you guys are scary
NM= i'm trying not to let me go get an ultrasound machine to help me figure it out ( she leaves)
S= all right
A= i'm sure everything is fine ( Natalie comes back )
NM= lift up your shirt please ( she does, 5 minutes later)
K= can one of you please tell us what's going on
S= i'm starting to get scared now April Natalie what's going on
A= all right guys I think we figured it out
NM= Stella Kelly I'm sorry to say this but you lost the baby
K= Wait what
S= no that can't be the baby was healthy about two weeks ago
A= we get that but
NM= so Stella that pain you have been feeling that was a sign of a miscarriage
K= this doesn't make any sense
A= we are so sorry do we need to call anyone for you guys
S= how could this happen ( starts to cry ) did I do something wrong
NM= not at all having a miscarriage just happens
A= it's nobody's fault it just happened
NM= we will give you guys a few minutes
A= we will check in on you guys later
They leave as Kelly and I take and what they just told us about an hour later the pain comes back
S= oh my god it hurts so bad
K= is the pain back
S= yes it is
K= all right let me go get April and Natalie
S= okay
K= okay hey Maggie can you page Natalie and April Stella is in pain again
ML= well do Kelly
Within five minutes and Natalie and April come back into my room and check me over
NM= Stella I hate to say this but there is still residence of the baby still in here that hasn't miscarried all the way so we have to inform a DNC and it needs to happen now
A= the OR is ready for you
NM= thanks let's go
K= bye Stella I love you
I get whisked Away as I'm very scared and still very heartbroken over what is happening
Kelly's pov: Stella's pregnancy has been going very good, I can't believe our kids was able to keep the secret this song but they were happy to tell everyone once they got on the bus right away. But once the kids left mine and Stella's world got turned upside down. Stella had some very bad pains in her stomach so I rushed her to med and turns out our worst nightmare happened we had a miscarriage. Right now they just Took Stella away to the OR to do a procedure to finish helping her miscarriage. I know she's scared I wish I could be there with her right now, it's Ben 10 minutes since he took away but it feels longer than that
A= hey Kelly how are you
K= April I don't know I just found out our baby is dead and they just took my wife away I'm a mess
A= I totally get that do you want me to call anyone for you
K= maybe call my mom and tell her while are you call chief
A= all right I can do that if you need anything else just let me know
K= Will do thanks April
A= it's not problem
( April leaves and I call the chief )
CB= Cheif Boden
K= hey chief it's kelly
CB= hey Kelly how is Stella
K= well me and Stella are going to tell you guys today that we were having another baby but we actually just found out that we miscarried it chief
CB= oh man I'm sorry to hear that Kelly I'll tell everyone and you guys will be in our prayers kelly
K= thank you chief talk to you soon
Once I get off the phone with a cheif I decide to call the nanny and tell her the news so that she knows where we might not come home after I get done talking to the nanny I just wait until they bring Stella back to me. About 30 minutes later she is back
NM= everything thing went perfect
A= she will wake up soon
K= all right thank you
NM= no problem we will leave you guys alone for a while
K= all right
They leave and I just watch Stella as I wait for her to wake up . 10 minutes later she wakes up
S= Kelly
K= I'm right here babe
S= please tell me that it was all a dream and our baby is healthy
K= I'm so sorry babe ( starts to cry ) it's all real
S= ( cry) no it can't be
K= it will be okay ( hugs her for a while she sobs non-stop )
We stay like this for a while until Stella falls back asleep
A= hey sorry didn't know she is sleeping
K= it's fine she needs it
A= so I just want to check in on you guys and see how your doing
K= I don't know April how can someone move past this
A= I know it will be hard but lean in each other that will help you both but if need anything just call me
K= I will April thank you
A= it's no problem I will let you be do you need me to bring in an extra bed for you to sleep in
K= no I will be fine thanks for offering
A= it's no problem Kelly
Once April left I just sit and watch Stella sleep so peaceful for a while then I eventually fall asleep myself. The rest of the day Stella was mostly sleeping, the doctors and the nurses keep coming in and check in on her. Eventually I got Stella to finally eat something so she wasn't starving. The next morning I get up and go get me coffee and come back and wait in Stella to wake up about an hour later she wakes up
S= Kelly
K= hey I'm right here
S= I want to go home
K= I know you do how about I go and check to see if you can leave
S= please do
K= all right I will be right back ( kiss her forehead)
S= okay
K= hey Maggie do you know if they will discharge Stella anytime soon
ML= no I don't sorry Kelly
K= is there any way you can find out soon because Stella wants to leave
ML= all right I understand I will try my best
K= thanks Maggie
ML= no problem ( back in the room)
S= so what did they say
K= Maggie said she will check into it
S= all right
Me and Stella just lay in bed cuddling waiting on them to come in and tell us if we can leave yet about an hour later
NM= sorry to keep you guys waiting
K= it's fine
S= so can I please be discharged so I can rest at home
NM= yes you can once you sign these paper you can go
K= all right thank you Natalie
NM= no problem
Stella signs the papers and she gets dressed, then we head home. Once we arrive home Stella goes straight to the bedroom while I tell the nanny to take the next couple of days off so she leaves and I go and check In on Stella but I noticed she was sleeping so I just hang out in the living room until she gets up or the kids get home from school, I also text my family to let they know we are home. Also texted the chief and he told me that we can take as much time as we want off. About three hours later Stella was still sleeping so I am hanging out with Greyson while I make a afternoon snack for the kids when they come home. About 3o minutes later
SG= daddy I'm home
SM= hey dad where's mom
LM= hey daddy
K= hey guys how was school
LM= it was good
SG= it was great I told everyone that I'm having a baby sister
SM= it could be a boy sailor but dad where is mom at
K= well shay to answer your question mom is in our room she is sleeping right now so can we all try and be quiet so she can sleep
LM= yes we can
SG= all right daddy
SM= yeah that's fine dad
K= great here is your little afternoon snack I made for you guys while you did your homework
SG= all right thanks daddy
The kids eat their sneak while they get their homework done, they get it done pretty fast so I let them go to their friends house for a little bit until dinner is ready while they are gone I go and check in on Stella
K= hey you are awake
S= yeah I've been awake since they got home from school I just didn't want to face them yet
K= totally understandable so how are you feeling babe
S= I feel a little better but not all the way better
K= it will get better babe ( kiss her hands )
S= I hope so because this pain is killing me
K= same here so the kids are talking about their little brother or sister
S= yeah I heard them talk
K= so what should we do when should we tell them the sad news
S= I think we should tell them but can we maybe wait a day or so
K= yeah how about this we keep them home from school for the rest of the week and maybe tell them tomorrow
S= that works for me
K= are you hungry because it's almost dinner time
S= yeah I kind am
K= all right do you want me to cook something or just order something
S= I say order something so we can spend some time with our kids
K= that's a good point
S= speaking of our kids where are they
K= they are at their friends house since they finished their homework pretty fast today
I Oder us some pizza and the Kids come back home, we eat our dinner and enjoy some family time for the rest of the night when we told the kids that we are keeping them from they all were happy minus Luna but she didn't mind after we offer to take her to the books to get some books she was fine with it. We all head to bed. Stella falls asleep pretty fast but I lay awake for a few then eventually fall asleep. The next morning everything was going great was we were eating our breakfast until someone mentioned a baby
SG= so how much longer until we find out that I am right about having a baby sister
SM= I think it will be another baby brother
S= I got to go use the restroom ( she leaves)
K= hey kids I will be right back Keep an eye on Greyson
LM= all right daddy
( in their room)
K= hey are you okay
S= I'm okay I am just still sad
K= I get it babe
S= I think we should tell them because I don't know how much I can hear them talking about how excited they are to meet their brother or sister but it already died and they didn't get to meet it
K= oh yeah
S= I am going to splash some water on my face and I will be out there in a few minutes ready to tell them
K= all right babe I will be out there with them so they don't get worried
I go and watch the kids while Stella freshen up about 5 minutes later
S= hey my little grey grey ( smiles at her) are you kids done eating ( picks Greyson up)
SM= yes I am mommy
SG= I'm full
LM= I'm done eating
K= well kids can you come and sit on the couch with me and mom
SG= sure daddy
LM= all right
SM= what's going on mom and dad
( on the couch)
S= so before I say anything else I'm totally fine
K= so kids yesterday after you guys left fit school I had to take mommy to the hospital
LM= wait what is Wrong with mommy
S= well I had some bad belly pains
SG= like when you eat too much candy
K= yeah something like that sailor but it was much more painful where I had to take mommy to get checked out
SM= so is my baby brother or sister okay
S= well the doctor Dud check and sadly the baby died
LM= how does that happen
SG= no I want to meet my baby sister ( cry's)
K= come here sailor bug it will be okay ( picks her up in his arms )
SM= why did the baby died
S= I don't know shay buddy sometimes god has different plans for babies and he choose to have this baby meet him a lot sooner than expected
LM= did they tell you guys what the gender of the baby is
K= no they didn't Luna
All the kids started to full our cry so me and Stella hugged all of them and keep them close to us for a good 30 minutes until their cries die down.
SM= mom I think we should plant a tree in the backyard to remember the baby.
S= that's a good idea buddy
SG= can we maybe name the baby for now so we don't just call it a baby
K= yeah we can do that sailor but since we didn't know the gender we have to pick a name that works for both a boy or a girl and we all like
SG= all right daddy
We start looking up gender neutral names for the baby about 30 minutes later
S= I think I found a good name is everyone ready to hear it
All= yes we are
S= all right how does Sutton rain severide sound to everyone
K= it sounds great
LM= Great name Mom
SG= I like it
SM= great name mom and also whenever it rains mom it will remind us of the baby that we lost
S= that's a great idea and super smart buddy so that's the baby name then
All= yes it is
K= so I have an idea how about we go visit aunt Shay at the cemetery to ask her to take care of baby Sutton rain
SG= great idea daddy
LM= Love that idea
SM= same here
S= if you tastic idea let's all get dressed and head out
SM= all right mom
We all get ourselves dressed and ready to go within 20 minutes and head toward the cemetery we arrive within 10 minutes
S= all right kids let's try and be on your best behavior in here
All= okay
K= ( at shay's gravestone) hey shay it's been a little bit too long since I've been here last and sorry about that. So if you remember my kid you got shay, Who is named after you, then we have the twins sailor and Luna
S= as you probably see we have another kid since we've been here last anyways Shay I would like you to meet Little Mr. Greyson Alexander he is the sweetest little boy ever and so calm
K= you would love him anyways the reason we are here is because a while back we found out we were having yet another baby
S= I bet you're thinking Dang Kelly can make kids nonstop
K= yeah she would say something like that or think that but anyways the reason we are here is because a couple days ago we ended up miscarrying that sweet baby Stella had in her belly
S= and the kids would like for you to take care of that sweet little baby that never got to meet all of their siblings
SM= aunt shay The babies name is Sutton rain
SG= so please take care of our baby sister
LM= or our baby brother we didn't get to find out if it was a boy or a girl
K= please do it for them Shay
We stayed at her grave stone for about an hour then we decided to head to the store to grab a tree and a few other things once we got home I went to take a hole while the kids ate some lunch about 30 minutes later they were done eating and they also made a little sign for the tree
S= so who's ready to plant the tree
All= we are
S= all right let's go outside
K= so who wants to help me put the tree in
SM= I do dad
K= all right son ( put the tree in the hole)
SG= I want to do something
LM= yeah same here
S= how about you girls pick up some dirt and sprinkle it on the tree
LM= all right ( they do )
S= hey shay how about you put the sign in the door in front of the tree
SM= all right mom ( he does)
K= let's all stand back and look at it
SG= it looks great
LM= it totally looks great
S= we love you Sutton rain severide
K= you will always be in our hearts
SM= can't wait to meet you again
We have some balloons so we decide to let them off in the sky, so the baby has siblings to play with. We prepare for the next adventure of grieving a baby that we never got to meet but we will always think about them and do it all as a family unit.
Authors note: I hope I did this chapter justice I wanted to do something different for them, I hope you guys do not hate me for what Did but I thought I should write a chapter about miscarriage. Please give me your feedback on what you thought of the chapter.
