Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII.

Thanks so much for the reviews! Here's the next chapter…hope this will give you more information in which direction this story is headed. You will definitely notice, but just to warn you: the whole ShinRa ordeal will be screwed. This is an AU after all XDD So don't be surprised if stuff doesn't check out with the game. Enjoy!

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor of my room. In my hands, as a mandatory custom, was a copy of the Western Express; and I was enjoying a rather quite afternoon. Why quite? My dad was on business, as I had the pleasure of informing you, and half the bodyguards that were slowly gathering around the mansion went with him as well. The other half was either wondering about the house or were rather preoccupied with my aunts. If you think 'preoccupied' means 'guarding' you couldn't be farther from the truth. Perhaps a brief description of these two women will help clarify what I mean. They're twins with blonde hair, big boobs, cherry lips, constant worry over their figure…anyway, the whole package. Get my drift? I believe there has yet to be a bodyguard to enter these walls who hasn't been intimately introduced to one or the other's bed.

By the way, in case you're wondering, I've been used to the bodyguards surrounding the house 24/7 mostly due to my father. He is a business partner to this guy Reeve. They run a huge company in Midgar called ShinRa. The mansion itself is situated in Wutai, tough; that's exactly why he's on business all the time. I don't miss him that much anymore, however. Not very close with the guy, if you know what I mean. Talk about dysfunctional families, huh? Before I get carried away with the god forsaken stories of my life up to the point, however, I'd like to return to my quite read (because god knows, you'll be hearing enough of those stories throughout this tale of misadventure to make you sick…no need to start already).

As I said before, I was sitting on the floor with a book in my hand and a rather happy smile on my face: NO ONE WAS BOTHERING ME! Life was good…that is until I heard a knock on the door. I should learn not to jump to happy conclusions so quickly.

"Who…" I was about to say 'who the heck is it', but thought better of it. Didn't need to get into a tiff with one of my aunts for being cheeky. "Please come in." What? You suspected I didn't know manners? I really do…I just don't use them.

So I was sitting there staring at the door, and you can imagine my surprise when it didn't open. I sat there like an idiot for perhaps another two minutes and nothing happened. 'People should really consider how let down one can get to not be graced with their presence.' I thought sarcastically to myself with a light snort. Truth was, I could barely keep down the sigh of relief that escaped my lips…so I won't be bothered.

"Are you going to open this damn door or not?" I already warned myself against jumping to these euphoric conclusions. I got up with a deep sigh. Who the hell was it anyway? I didn't recognize the voice. I started heading towards the door after making sure that my pants weren't creased, but stopped just a foot short. Remember the thing about me not using proper etiquette? Well, I wasn't kidding.

"Why the heck can't you open it yourself?" Oh yes, very mature…I know, you don't have to rub it in. I heard a snort on the other end of the door, and was willing to bet anything that the character behind it was smirking.

"It's locked." I growled quietly at that. Since when did I pick up the habit of locking doors? Oh right, since Sherry (one of my aunts) picked up the habit of showing my baby pictures to her victims…I mean, lovers…I mean, bodyguards. Gah, same difference.

"Then pick it or something." I shot back snottily. Don't call me brat (for your own safety…or else you might find your hair in rainbow colors one morning) god knows I hear it enough from Cid, my dad's pilot. I sighed one more time for good measure before moving my hand to the door knob. Before I could even touch it, however, I heard a small click from the door and it swung open…hitting me right in the nose and sending me reeling backwards.

I fell on my ass right in front of my bed, narrowly avoiding getting my head smashed on the corner. I couldn't decide whether to make sure I DIDN'T smash my head, rub my ass, or check if I broke my nose first. So instead I settled on glaring daggers at the opening door. In came messy suit, scruffy shoes, half unbuttoned shirt sans tie, and flaming red hair with the smirk set firmly into the pale features of his face.

"What?" He asked as if surprised at the fact that I'm glaring. "You said to pick the lock yourself." I raised an eyebrow at that with a finger pointing to my nose, which was by that point rather red, thanks to that jerk. He smirked at me. He had the audacity to smirk!

"Who the heck are you?" I grounded out, using my every ounce of strength not to strangle him. The infuriating character in front of me ignored the question completely.

"Have you been drinking, brat?" I could sense my eyebrow starting to twitch involuntarily. Not only was my red nose, which gave me the appearance of a drunk, his doing, but he used the banned b-word as well.

"I don't believe so." I said mock calmly. "If I was drunk, your ass wouldn't be standing in front of me unscathed." 'You just keep talking and even in my sober state I'll punch your lights out.' I added maliciously to myself.

"Well, well. I was thinking of being merciful, but…seeing as you're not interested." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What the heck are you blabbering about?" I asked, more than a little irritated at the stuck-up snob.

"Oh right…you don't know yet." I rolled my eyes. This guy was a real handful. "I'm a psychiatrist. More precisely, I'm the psychiatrist hired to help you cope with the recent murder in your father's company." My eyes must have grown to the size of dinner plates.

"What do you mean murder?" Was my reflexive question as I finally decided to stand up from my sitting position on the floor. The red-head in front of me snorted at my comment.

"No one told me you don't speak English." He told me while leaning casually on the door frame. "Then again, no one told me that you're disheveled either."

"Answer my question." I growled at him folding my hands into fists. He rolled his eyes at me, calm as ever.

"You know…murder. That's when a person has a motive...or is drunk, I supposed…or under the influence…anyways, has a motive to kill another person, so the first person…" I cut him off with an aggravated yelp.

"I know what a murder is, you dumbass." I said harshly, glaring daggers at my 'guest of honor'. "What happened?" He gave me a dumbfounded look.

"I was telling you what happened." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Where was I?...Oh yes. Anyway, when a person wants to kill another person…" By that point I've heard enough. I pushed him out of the way and rushed down the stairs towards the lobby. Alfred probably knew. I stopped right in front of the elderly man with an infuriated look on my face.

"What…" I didn't get to finish the question as I was interrupted by the butler.

"What happened?" He asked me, sighing again. "You are so predictable." I rolled my eyes at the grey-haired man in front of me. I loved him to death, but sometimes he could really get on my nerves.

"Don't go cheeky on me too." I told him with a glare for good measure. What is wrong with everyone today? Probably the 'devil's' attitude rubbed off on everyone else.

"How about continuing the conversation over tea?" Alfred asked me with a small smile. That's what I love about this man. No matter how hectic the situation, everything can be healed by a conversation over tea. By the time I nodded the guy from upstairs showed up, casually walking down the stairs. Alfred, to my great astonishment, politely smiled and nodded.

"Would you like to join us for tea, Reno?" He asked kindly. I almost fell over.

"That thing has a name?" I asked with a dumbfounded look on my face. The aforementioned thing rolled his eyes and nodded at Alfred. 'Life can't get any worse.' I thought bitterly as I wordlessly followed my second father.

"Oh and Yuffie?" I looked up at Alfred with a questioning look.

"What do you want now, old man?"

"Be nice." Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.

"Yeah, be nice." I heard an annoying voice from behind me. This is ridiculous!

We walked to the kitchen where Alfred asked for the tea and biscuits while I took my usual place in the corner of the round couch. This was turning out to be NOT such a pleasant afternoon after all.

"You are aware, of course, that your father's company has branches in almost every city…would I be correct to assume?" I gave Alfred my usual 'duh' expression at that. You'd have to be a complete halfwit not to know that fact! "About a week ago there has been a murder committed in one of the branches…the one situated in Wutai. One of the managers in charge of the affairs with the mayors of cities and other companies was killed. I would rather not go into detail on how, but the biggest problem is…beside the fact that a man's life has been taken…" dear, old Alfie always did manage to make anything remotely sad into a full blown tragedy. The real sad part is…I almost always get drawn into it (and embarrassed to say that I cried a few times. If anyone find out…you'll have more than rainbow hair to worry about.) "…in any case, the big problem at this point is that the business contact between ShinRa and some of the companies has been broken. Whoever did this was looking to give ShinRa trouble." I sighed. Damn it!

"Well…" I said my mind flashing back to Reno the psychiatrist. "that wasn't that bad. I can handle it." I gave Alfred a confident smile. The grey-haired man only raised an eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, you know. I mean…I don't need a physiatrist!" I heard a snigger next to me, but paid it no attention. Alfred kept looking at me as if I was crazy.

"Who said you did?" I gave him a dirty glare. What did he mean by that?

"If you didn't think I did, then why did you hire the angel of death over hear for sessions with me?" I asked getting a bit riled up at the innocent act. Alfred shook his head and sighed.

"Yuffie." I looked up at him. "That's not a psychiatrist…that's a detective." I turned very slowly to the monster laughing his head off next to me. 'You will pay.'

Please R&R it would be really helpful. Hope you enjoyed!