Why was it always happy?
Was it all they saw in me? The one always happy, that smile, that maliciously fake smile? Could none of them see behind it? I hoped one day there would be one, but he never saw through it, so I never told him. I felt he didn't have the right to know if he was going to be so stupid. Besides, there was already someone there for him, and I was just another nobody…
I watched as so many busses went by, in that cold rain. I waited for my bus, for my way out of this hell hole. I mean look at it, even this bus stop was hit by the hellish looks of the rest of this deceitful city. Normally the blue bus stops would have a roof, especially here with all of the rain, but it was so worn, the plastic covering had completely diminished. The wind was negligible still, the walls with worn posters still existed.
Sitting there with my hood over my head, and sitar next to me in its hard case, I wondered what had happened. Why was I leaving? I was giving them everything they wanted, the space, the time to themselves. The world without me. A world only I should ever have to know.
I think the night, that I found he wasn't looking at me, that was it. I had a little performance for some restaurant. They really wanted a girl, it was a fifties like getaway, and they wanted a showgirl, but I had proven my worth (that and no girls applied) so I was hired. It was a classy place, so I had to where a tuxedo and all, but when they saw it, I was given a different shirt, they hadn't liked the whole look. Like a punk going out with his parents, well now I had on a black shirt, tight, with thick woven lines in it. I even had thick crinkled rolled arm socks. They were woven with shining black strings, so they glimmered in the already dim light. Then the final thing I has was a different tie, a white one.
It was an old fashioned club, so why was I dressed up like this? Two words: Eye Candy. There were plenty of high standard, rich bitch men and women that came in here, and as long as they liked what they saw, everything would be fine. Though, I didn't realize my whole crew, my family would show up. I hadn't told any of them, but Xemnas had contacts everywhere, so I knew he probably found out and dragged everyone along. He didn't like to see his members sneaking around, or perhaps, he really just came to see me. Which was amazing to see everyone come in all dressed up.
Normally Xigbar and a tuxedo wouldn't happen. Never-mind Lexaeus or Marluxia. I was amazed Zexion got in wearing a tux, he looks so girly with that hair, and they're pretty strict on what you wear. And what's this? He's arm in arm with Marluxia? I would've never guessed otherwise. Saix took a seat with Xemnas, and Xigbar sat over by Xaldin. Larxene, even saying her name scares me, was sitting with Lexaeus, I don't think he cared much for the idea, but he always looks so solemn anyways. Luxord was the only one to come in with a top hat and an all white tuxedo, don't forget his white cane, he always looked like he belonged in Vegas. Vexen was even there; the crazed one who kept to himself was here? Yeah Xemnas had something to do with it.
Was he not coming? That's right, I was looking for him through the curtains the whole time. I thought my heart would burst, but no, it shriveled up instead. When I came out, the Order clapped for me, the others clapped, even the angry rich drunk clapped. I felt special, but he wasn't going to be there.
Tonight I was to do a bunch of old blues and jazz, which was odd. So different from my usual stuff, which wasn't classy but flashy and spazzy. Along with me. I groped the microphone like it was my only friend, well in this room it was. The man at the piano started up, and I produced a slow song to fit the mood for this lonely stage. I got so caught up in the melody I forgot to be watching, that blonde walked in with the taller red haired man. I learned later that the smaller blonde got carded and they had to have Luxord vouch for his age.
When I awoke from my wonderful dream I was applauded by everyone and waited for the cue. Since I was new they didn't want me to sing any of my own picked songs. Which also meant until the end, I wasn't allowed to play my sitar. Hell on earth? Pretty much so, but I had to live with it that night. I heard the cue, it was a slow song so I ended up laying atop the piano, just for looks. Everyone who knew me knew it was all about the looks. I saw the little lovers for the first time. It only made my heart jump, there was the blonde, his shy blue eyes staring directly into my own. The red headed one was looking, but he wasn't looking at me. He never would be.
It only made my voice more painful, more dramatic. I was now the showgirl, and I was now rolling over onto my back singing. The piano player, he smiled at me, and kept on telling me I was doing good. I didn't want his approval though, I wanted the green eyes of that redhead to be my approval. Nothing else.
After my great debut I left the stage and went to the dressing room. You could still hear applause, and an overly drunk Xaldin laughing manically. That was the music to my ears, at least until a slight knock could be heard at the door. I had my hopes, but before they could become full-fledged desires I had opened the door. There stood not a tall green-eyed red-haired man, but a short and shy eyed blonde. Great. Not only had my desires been cancelled out, but they had been replaced by the desires of my loves affection.
Finally he spoke to me, "Well that was a surprisingly wonderful performance." He made his way into the dressing room. "Well I was told they didn't give you a room yet, but they did, they gave you a closet." Then wasn't a angry note in his voice, but it was hateful. What was his problem that night?
"Well it's more than you have Roxas." I smiled, I couldn't play his game, but I fell into it without a thought.
"But is it more than I have? I have everything you want." Roxas was lifting a rose left for me by some unknown being, I hadn't even noticed it was there.
And what was worse? He knew. The object of my affection, who knew he cold be such a little bitch? "Get out of here Roxas. I don't need you right now."
"That's right, it's always about what you want. Heh, especially now that you've lost it all." He crushed the rose in his hand, "You'll know soon enough." That prissy little prat.
Yeah, I would know, too soon. I was flustered and I was packing up to leave after that. I could go home, rest and worry about the other things I had to do when I pulled a package out of my bag. "The hell is this?" Oh, no, I wouldn't think that he would've sunk so low! I had put it back into the bag and walked to the owner's office, knocking I was allowed in.
"Is this supposed to be some sort of sick joke?" I was questioned. A gruff, Mafi-Kuza looking man leaned on the table before him.
I stuttered, only after I told myself I was going to be murdered. That Roxas, he was standing by my bag, and like those before him, had learned the sacred art of blackmail. Who would know such a little innocent eyed blonde haired angel would be the perfect addition to an organization specializing in murder and deceit? Who knew I would get in? Even that was confusing, but still that's another story. "N-no sir, I found this in my bag sir." I stood there, sitar strap across my shoulder, regular street clothes back on.
"I knew the Order was nothing but trouble, but where are the negatives? Are there any doubles?" Of course I didn't know, I wasn't the one who took the pictures of him with his secret mistress, or should I say, master. "Shut the door." Two large men had come from outside of the hall, "Well, how's about I just give him a call eh? We'll see if Xemnas will help you out."
That's good, get the boss man involved. Here I was, about to have my head torn off because of some little prat who had taken everything. Well, as you can see, I'm still in one piece, Xemnas had bailed me out. On a couple of conditions: I quit my new job. He wanted me closer to him. So close, I was now sitting next to him in the limousine. Next was the inevitable question of how this all came to be. I mean I told him what happened. Whereas I found out, Roxas was the one holding all of the strings. That bastard. He had everyone wrapped around his finger. I was completely pissed, it was Roxas who had showed me the job application. It must've been him who brought them all there.
Then why were they late? Did Roxas have him too? He must have. I couldn't take it. I had to get out, and I was going to get out. Even Xemnas agreed. So he dropped me off in the rain, he said if I got caught I wasn't to tell anyone who I was with or call him. If I were to let anyone know his whereabouts I would surely be killed myself. But hey, now I could get away. Away from the entire lighted scene.
"And now I'm here." What the hell? I had just told all of this to the person sitting next to me in the rain. Wow, I really was a push over. The bus pulled up, he didn't move, and neither did I. "I'm waiting for the next one, you?" He hadn't spoke a word to me. There were thousands of busses that came by here, and I think I missed mine. But when I looked the man just stared ahead. He had a leather trench coat, black, which seemed to be the favored colour of sneaky looking men. I myself was still in my organization's cloak.
"You seem so sad." The man spoke in a low, gruff voice. It sounded almost familiar. But it wasn't anything I could put my finger on. "But I can believe your story."
He believed me? Well, at least my ramblings didn't to waste. The rain was getting heavier, and my hair, it had been plastered to my head for some time now, I was too lazy to put on my hood. Then the bus soon pulled up, I boarded it. Setting my sitar above my head, and sitting down, I figured I go all of the way out to California. Hollywood even, they liked new singers, 'fresh meat', out there.
I settled down, the bus driver had gotten up to check on something outside, my luck. Life was stalling me again. There was a smack knock at my window. I looked, the man was still sitting there, now hunched over with his hands clasped before him. "Great now I'm hearing things," I mumbled to myself. It was as if life wanted me stay. CLICK! There was a louder more forceful sounding rock flying into my window. I looked again, but this time, the man was standing up.
With only the light from the bus, I saw the glint of the man's eyes, like a diamond in the rough, only emeralds. At that point god granted me the wish I'd been asking for since that night, but instead of wings to fly away, I flew back into the troubled streets of New York, and into his arms. "Axel!" I cried grabbing my Sitar, and he took off his hood. It was him. I had had told him everything, and he said he believed me! He knew! I stepped off of the bus, once again being drenched by the cold rain.
"Hey there," He said, as if nothing had happened. I took a step, when he yelled, "Demyx! Look out!" And that was the last thing I remember.
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