Dream Lover
Sasuke groaned and rolled over on the comfortable mattress he was sleeping on. His head pounded and what was worse, he had no idea what had happened the night before.
'Okay.' He thought, keeping his eyes closed and pulling up the cotton sheets that had been laid on top of him to his chin. 'I was at the bar…then Dobe and Kakashi came and…'
Sasuke's eyes flickered open and he rubbed his aching head. "Damn, I got wasted," he mumbled.
He yawned loudly, his eyes adjusting to the light and taking in his surroundings. He was in a small, dumpy bedroom. The floor was littered with tissues that held a rather revolting yellow, gooey substance in them and underpants that looked like they hadn't had a proper washing in months. The walls were dirty and the calendar that hung to Sasuke's right was two months behind the current date. Sasuke shuddered, disgusted; unbeknownst to anyone, he hated slobs.
'So…whose house am I in?'
Sasuke jumped as he heard a loud snore next to him. He hadn't noticed that there was someone else in bed with him. Realization hit him and he slapped his forehead.
'Oh god, I screwed some poor, innocent little girl!'
Sasuke nervously poked the lump next to him. He'd have to wake the girl up, apologize to her, and then get the hell back home to take some pain killer for his murder of a headache.
"Uh…excuse me?"
Sasuke poked the lump again, his heart beat quickening. What if he did more than just de-flower a poor girl? What if his drunkenness caused him to actually harm her?
"Err…"
Sasuke reached out to poke the girls' back but was stopped when the lump rolled over and stared directly at him, giving him a look of utter annoyance. Sasuke blinked, his mind still working out just what in the heck was going on. He frowned, a mixture of sheer rage, nervousness, and most of all, disgust filling every fiber of his body. This wasn't happening…this couldn't be happening…
Naruto yawned and gave Sasuke his signature fox-like grin. "Damn, Sasuke, you were an animal."
Sasuke stared back at him in horror and slowly lifted the sheets to look at his own body. He was completely naked. He yelped and jumped off the bed, his hands shooting to the area between his legs to prevent Naruto from getting an even better look at him. Naruto continued to stare, obviously amused.
"What's wrong…sweetie?"
Sasuke slowly lifted one of his hands and pointed a shaking finger at the other boy. "You…YOU!"
Naruto cocked his head, trying to give Sasuke the cute, innocent, I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about look. "What about me?"
Sasuke clenched his teeth, his finger still pointing at Naruto. "YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME, YOU ASS-WIPE!"
Naruto scratched his head. "Actually, you seemed pretty willing to do it." He winced. "You were a bit rough with me, though-"
Sasuke shook his head, not believing anything of this. "You're kidding me…you're frickn' kidding me…"
Naruto continued as though Sasuke hadn't said anything. "-I mean, really, when I said 'stop', I really did want you to actually stop-"
Sasuke glared at Naruto. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"
Naruto stretched his arms. "Well, maybe tomorrow night it will be better."
Sasuke turned his back on him and picked up a dirty towel on the floor, wrapping it around his waist. "There will be no 'tomorrow night'. And if you tell anyone about this, I will kick your-"
Naruto's grin widened. "But Sasuke…we're engaged."
Sasuke spun on his heel and faced Naruto, a look of sheer terror on his face. No, Naruto was just playing some joke on him. He was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to end up getting engaged to a guy, for gods' sake. Yes, this was one of Naruto's stupid, childish pranks.
Sasuke smirked. "Stop bull-shitting me, Dobe."
But Naruto didn't grin back or laugh at Sasuke for falling into one of his little jokes, like Sasuke expected him to. He actually looked serious about this. Sasuke's smirk faltered.
"Ummm…I didn't ask you to marry me."
Naruto nodded and said very quietly, "Yes you did, Sasuke. Last night, you did."
Sasuke stopped smiling altogether. "Look, Dobe, just cut it out and give me my goddamn clothes."
Naruto frowned and hopped down from the bed. "Sasuke, you proposed last night, and goddammit, we're going to get married!" Before Sasuke could say anything he added, "I even have a witness!"
Sasuke turned back around, contemplating whether it would really be a wise idea to walk through the streets with only a dirty towel around his waist. "Feh, yeah right."
Right at the moment, there was a loud knock on the door that made both the boys jump. Naruto beamed.
"Hey, he might be here right now!"
He grabbed a bed sheet, wrapped it around himself, and ran out of the room without giving Sasuke a second glance. Sasuke stared after him and shrugged.
"Hey, might as well go get a good laugh at how wrong he is."
And chuckling to himself, he followed after Naruto. He gripped the dirty towel as he tip-toed down the dusty stairs (he could see footprints that led downstairs that were undoubtedly Naruto's), hearing voices below him.
"Kakashi-sensei, I already thought of what kind of dresses I want the brides' maids to wear!"
Sasuke's heart dropped. 'Oh god, Kakashi is here…'
He tried to make his way back up the stairs, but the stair under him made a loud creaking sound and the voices below stopped immediately. Kakashi's head appeared from around the corner.
"And speak of the devil," Kakashi said loudly. "Here he is now!"
Sasuke glared at his sensei and made a rude hand gesture. Kakashi merely chuckled and turned back to Naruto, who just entered the room.
"So you were saying that he doesn't believe you?"
Sasuke's anger flamed up once again. "Who would believe total bull shit like this!"
Kakashi grinned. "Well, you better believe it because you did propose to him."
Sasuke clenched his fists and stared daggers at Naruto and Kakashi. "I did not ask a guy to marry me! Period!"
The two stared back at him before Naruto turned to Kakashi and continued with their conversation.
"So I was thinking that the brides' maids should wear pink with white trim…"
