Dream Lover

If there was one piece of advice that Sasuke's father had given to him that actually stuck in his mind, it was this:

"When you grow up, find yourself a nice girlfriend and get married to her."

'Shoulda listened to you, huh Dad?' Sasuke thought disdainfully as he stared down at the ice cold beef ramen sitting in front of him (Why did he even order it? He hated the stuff). 'Shoulda gotten interested in the girls, huh?'

If Sasuke had indeed listened to his father, the he probably wouldn't be sitting at a ramen stand with a collar around his neck and on a leash being held by Naruto (god, could you get any kinkier and suggestive?).

"I just need to let people know you're mine!" Naruto said cheerfully as he had dragged Sasuke out the door almost half an hour before.

Sasuke sighed and tugged on the collar. "Naruto, this is ridiculous. Take this thing off me."

Naruto shook his head and slurped down his eighth bowl of ramen. "Nothing doing." He put the bowl down and grinned. "I don't want people checking you out like you're not committed."

Sasuke frowned, his anger once again rising. "How many times do I have to tell you! We're not, I repeat, NOT getting married. I don't even like you!"

Naruto pouted his lips. "Aw, you're so mean Sasuke!" He lowered his voice. "And it's turning me on…"

Sasuke shuddered and turned away from Naruto. This was sick, just plain sick. Naruto was really messed up in the head.

'Oh please God, don't let anyone see me like this…'

But it seemed like today was not Sasuke's lucky day. As if on cue, Sakura and Ino just happened to be passing by that certain ramen stand at that certain time. And of course, they did their usual routine when they saw Sasuke: screaming and running towards him, asking him to be their boyfriend and go out on just one date with themHow annoying…

"EEEEKKK! SASUKE-KUN!"

"HOMIGAWD, HOMIGAWD!"

Sakura and Ino sprinted towards him but stopped in their tracks when they saw three strange elements: the collar, the leash, and Naruto. Sasuke groaned and hid his face behind his hands.

'God…why do you hate me so much?'

Sakura blushed and cleared her throat. "Ahem…Sasuke-kun…why do you have a collar and a leash on?"

Ino pointed at Naruto. "And why is he treating you like…like some dog!"

If looks could kill, Naruto would've been dead right at that moment. Sakura and Ino were glaring at him as they had never glared before (and they had some pretty mean glares, too). Naruto simply smiled and wiped his mouth off on his sleeve.

"Sakura-chan, haven't you heard?"

Sakura and Ino glanced at each other and turned back to Naruto, obviously interested. "Heard what?"

Sasuke groaned again and said loudly "Naruto, don't-"

Naruto ignored him and stuck out his chest. "We're getting married!"

It was as if someone had just died. The girls stared blankly at Naruto before bursting into tears and holding each other.

"Sasuke-kun…YOU'RE GAY!"

"I-I think I'm going to faint!"

Sakura and Ino gave Naruto one last tear-filled glare and ran off, sobbing loudly. Naruto stood up and called out to them.

"Hey, I still need bridesmaids if you're interested!"

Sasuke grabbed the back of Naruto's shirt and through gritted teeth said "Are you really trying to ruin my life?"

Naruto sat down and smiled again. "Nope, just trying to make it better."

And he ordered his ninth bowl of ramen. Sasuke hung his head and sighed.

'I shoulda listened to you, Dad…shoulda listened.'