As soon as I got out of Megumin's house I ran as if my life depended on it, because in some regard it definitely did.
Since Megumin's house is near the outskirts of the actual village, I got to admire the area in it's natural beauty, with my Enemy Detect skill that was pinging like crazy. I'm pretty sure going in there alone as I am right now would be a death sentence, so I headed towards the village centre.
On my way though, I saw a bizarre sight. The place where Sylvia had come back to life was a tourist spot now, with the gigantic crater and tides of frozen poison waves that Hans had created being the main attractions. I decided to check out just what the hell Crimson Demons do with their tourist attractions.
In the crater where Megumin and Yunyun landed their combo explosion, I could see magicians using advanced fire magic on the scorch marks to maintain them while using Ice magic on the toxic slime to keep it frozen. Do…they not realise that is dangerous?
"Do you like our new tourist sites Kazuma san?" I was suddenly asked this by a beautiful girl who wasn't anywhere me a second ago. She has long hair tied in a bun on her head and is wearing a two piece outfit. If I recall correctly, she was one of the Crimson Demons who saved us from goblins when I first came here.
"Not really, I had some really unpleasant memories here….Soketto san I think?" I tried to remember her name while stating my honest opinion.
"That is my name yes. But don't you think that is really cool and beautiful?" She pointed towards the ice sculpture.
"Isn't Hans' poison really deadly? How in the world is that safe?"
"The NEETs- I mean the patrol guards have great mana reserves and magic power that usually remains unused for several days so the ice is as solid as can be. Not to mention the cool lady who made them was no slouch either. Besides, what good is life if you don't take some risks? The line between something that is of ethereal beauty and life threatening is a narrow one, but it is one to behold."
"So you admit that it is risky?! Do you know how bad it is to be digested alive by that stuff? I do-" I was about to lecture her about public safety before she started glowing.
"Ugh! My clairvoyance, it's showing me a warning for you….Be wary of cloaked individuals!" She suddenly grabbed me while ominously spouting out this warning.
".…I'm not a kid anymore, I know what predators look like but thanks anyway." Is everyone in this village a total-
"No! Beware of the….the….huh. It seems like a devil removed my memory of the future, please stay right here while I check my crystal ball for more details. Teleport!" She teleported who knows where.
…Yeah I'm not staying here to satisfy someone's chuuni fantasy. I decided to move ahead towards where the festivities were going on when I spotted Darkness and Arue looking for someone.
"How are my two narcs doing?" I approached them while both of them pointed at me.
"Ah, there you are. We were looking for you Kazuma." Darkness said while dusting herself.
"What happened to you? Why are you somewhat muddy?"
"Darkness san was chasing after a loose Neroid and caught it. But unfortunately Yunyun and Megumin slipped past us in that time, they're even avoiding my telepathy calls." Arue explained to me what had happened.
"Hmm, so you want me to track them down?" Makes sense, I'm probably the best person for the job here-"
"Actually no. The village isn't so large that they would get away without being spotted. You were actually invited by the Chief of the village to his house." Darkness shattered my dreams of playing detective while relaying that information.
".….I'm not going." I bluntly said.
"But Kazuma he is the Chief. He went out of his way to organise this for you, at least go and thank him personally-"
"I don't think you would understand what happened to me and why I want to avoid his 'invitation' to 'his house'. Anyways where is Aqua? I haven't seen her." That girl is usually the spotlight in a party so it's hard to miss her.
"She said she has some responsibilities and ran away. It was very strange because she had broken our record of the most cups of Crimson Beers drank by a single person in a sitting and was about to win a prestigious award but such humility and sense of responsibility of your duties are the qualities of a great priest." Arue rambled and all three of us looked at each other.
"Aqua being humble and responsible….." Darkness mumbled and we all nodded.
"Something is definitely amiss." We said in unison.
"We will go look for Aqua and the rest. You go to the Chief's house in the meantime." Darkness and Arue went to look for the three while I made my way to Yunyun's house.
…..I just hope that the man isn't drunk.
While on my way to the villa, I got stopped by a girl I had never seen before. She ran in front of me and looked me in the eyes, giving me a letter and running away immediately after without uttering a single word.
It looked like a typical love letter….Wait…am I THIS popular now?! I have a girlfriend and now I can reject letters! I mean this has to be it right? Paper is a really expensive commodity in this world, you write down only the important stuff in this.
Still, it's a bit cruel to just toss a letter without reading it. As my heart was about to come out of my chest, I slowly opened the letter and proceeded to read it.
'You fell for it you fool! Adultery is bad and Moi will tell the Mage about it!' Wait what?!
I fucking turned my neck around and saw the girl laughing crazily before taking Vanir's shape who pointed at the letter. I read the rest of the contents.
'This is one of Moi spy puppets that was left here for situations such as this! Mmm, thank you for your dark emotions. You may tear this recycled paper if you-'
I will go and ask Aqua to purify him the moment I get back to Axel! After burning the paper I continued my way towards the villa with a much worse mind state than before.
When I arrived at the villa I saw a sign on the door.
'Do ye dare enter into the-' It's basically a glorified 'Welcome' sign and I knocked at the door.
"I'm currently engaging with some dangerous magic so this is not a good time!" I heard the Chief's cries and got shocked as my Enemy Detect did not sense anything dangerous. Before I could say anything,
"You know what actually I need your help whoever it is!"
I opened the door and ran inside not knowing what the hell was happening,
"Oh it's Kazuma san, I was waiting for you. These hangover cures sure do pack a punch, it's making my head go numb. Can you please hold me and mix these?" Only to see the Chief struggling to stand up to try and make a drink.
"Do you want to see the punch I pack old man?!"
After peeling Yunyun's dad away from his drinks I made him sit on the couch opposite to me.
"So why did you call for me?"
"Oh, I needed a help with those drinks. I didn't know your memory was so bad at such a young age, do you need-"
"I meant the official invite you gave me!"
"That! I am sorry, I get a bit tipsy sometimes so forgive me." He laughed heartily while I questioned whether or not I should stay here any longer before he continued.
"The truth is, I wanted to personally thank you." The chief suddenly got serious out of nowhere.
"Uh sure, you're welcome."
"No no! I want to do this properly." He cleared his throat. "As the Chief of the Crimson Demon Village, I thank you for defeating the Demon King General Sylvia, a victory that came at the cost of your dignity-"
Are those poses and speech supposed to be inspiring?! That is one of the lowest points in my life!
"Not only that, you also dealt with the legendary Pajama Ripper who was menace to our village for several years!"
….Yeah, I dealt with one of them…I'm just going to keep quite right now and enjoy the show.
"Lastly, I would like to personally thank you for taking care of our daughters." Yunyun's dad stopped posing and spoke to me in a genuinely appreciative voice.
"What are you talking about Chief?"
"I heard from Yunyun how you saved everyone from the Pajama Ripper's attacks in a cool manner. Megumin, Yunyun and Arue are extremely strong but they still make mistakes in the battlefield-"
I know.
"It takes a strong leader to compensate for the mistakes mages can make, but it takes a great man to risk everything for them. For that I thank you, not as the Chief, but as the father of my precious daughter Yunyun. She has become much more assertive and confident in herself since she joined your party." The Chief put forward his hand and I promptly shook it.
"She is a pretty good party member to be honest, so thank you for teaching her to be a great mage. " I really didn't know how to return my thanks to a man I just thought about punching a minute ago.
"Ah it's okay, I didn't do anything. Kids these days just learn and grow up so much faster than we used to."
After we shook hands I noticed the decor of the living room. Between all the weird Chuuni stuff, there was a photo frame that stood out from the rest.
The chief noticed my gaze and commented.
"Do you like my decor? Half of it was chosen by me and the rest was by Nuinui . I don't know why but Yunyun hates most of it."
"It certainly is interesting. Who picked that photo frame?" I pointed out.
"It was picked by me of course." He proudly commented.
…I genuinely thought that was chosen by Yunyun because it's the only normal thing here.
"This is a photo of the time when Yunyun was just born. Look at how young I used to look!" He picked it up and showed it to me excitedly.
In the photo, a much younger looking Chief was seen posing with a woman who was also posing with a baby Yunyun in her hands.
"Say, is that Yunyun's mom?" I asked curiously.
"Hmm, oh yeah that is my darling Nuinui holding our baby." He warmly looked at the photo and then back to me, "If I recall correctly, I may have hit on you thinking you were her, right?"
I hate to admit it but…..she does kind of look like me.
"Yeah…"
"Sorry about that. But seeing today's celebrations just reminded me about her and our wedding day so much that I may have lost my mind."
"May I ask what happened to her? You know if you're comfortable."
"Oh no that's no problem. A few months after Yunyun was born, she contracted a disease that we had never seen before that greatly reduced her ability to breathe properly. We saw many priests and witch doctors but none of them could help us.
After that she spent her last few days fighting at the borders, 'Tell Yunyun how cool her mom used to be, I refuse to go down without at least destroying the Demon King's army here.' and cool she was. Together we ended up destroying a good chunk of their army that showed up at the borders before her illness got to her." Hiropon san recounted his memories while I carefully listened.
"So you have been raising Yunyun on your own ever since?"
"I would like to say yes, but in all honesty, she raised herself. I was gone for most of the time after she got old enough to walk as the duties of a chief are not really supportive for single parents. I don't know for sure but that is probably how she developed her overly shy personality, if her mother was her I'm sure she would be utterly disappointed in how I shaped our daughter-"
"That's not true." I firmly said as the Chief looked at me. "Yunyun is one of the strongest girls I know of, both in magic and mental strength. Every person is made up of different qualities, one cannot say that someone is a failure by just looking at some of their shortcomings. If you ask me, you did one hell of a job raising her into a girl that her mother would've be proud of."
Hiropon san just blankly stared at me with his mouth slightly agape. Did I say too much-
Sniffs, "You know Kazuma san, you are so much like Nuinui."
"Not this again-"
"No I mean, she used to be so comforting to me, just like this. Please, continue looking after my daughter, Megumin and Arue as you have been. I have high hopes for your party." The chief wiped some tears that were beginning to form near his eyes.
"Thanks Chief. " I got up and prepared to leave, "Just so you know, the celebrations today were pretty fun and your new tourist attractions look pretty cool." I said as I left through the door to explore and see where my party members went.
…..I think I have been way too harsh with the mages in my party. At the end of the day, they are still barely 14 years old. Back in Japan, they would just be going to school and have fun with their friends instead of fighting monsters for survival.
Hell, when I was that age I was starting to become a NEET and an actual failure. From a child that was constantly praised for being gifted to a shut in who did the bare minimum to not be thrown out of school, I used to be so carefree of what my parents thought of me that I forgot to think about them. Compared to what I was like, these girls are practically saints.
…...I don't hate this life at all but if I could, I would like to go back and punch that 14 year old brat in the face for even thinking about skipping a school day to stay at home and lecture him to do his best at school instead of squandering his potential and parents' money at home. Or at the very least, apologise to my parents for being like this.
As I was thinking this, I had walked much further than I had realised. I was near the factory where I had momentarily trapped Sylvia. The entire area was filled with debris and parts of the factory from when Sylvia escaped, I guess this is going to be a tourist spot as well.
I was about to ignore this as well until I noticed a faint smell of something.
There weren't any celebrations going on here, so there was no reason for the smell of alcohol to be here. I checked my Enemy Detect skill and confirmed that there wasn't anything immediately threatening in the area and went in.
I had found all of my party members and the two narcs were dead asleep while our 'Goddess' was puking her guts out and Megumin was drinking with Yunyun.
"I take it all back, I'm not harsh enough."
I approached them and poked my two narcs with a stick. I can't believe these two got dead drunk instead of stopping these idiots!
"Oi! Where did you get booze?! Which idiot gave you underaged idiots booze?!"
"Oh Kashuma! Hey Yunyun, there are three Kashumas now! Did you learn a new" Hiccup "skill?" Megumin drunkenly approached me with a bottle in her hand.
"Aqua! Isn't this your bottle!? Do you-"
"Ughh, who- Ah Kazuma! I swear I only gave these two a sip but before I knew it they had drunk two cups worth of it each-" The main culprit who had just committed a literal crime backed away from me and accidentally knocked herself out on a rock.
"Come on Kazuma san, lighten up. Letting loose every now and then isn't so bad." A red faced Yunyun in an intoxicated state put her arm on my shoulder and talked as if she was one of those bad seniors talking to a rookie in a black company.
"Hey Kashuma," Hiccup "wanna see who does the better hand stand?" Megumin stood in front of me and Yunyun shouted "Oh hell yeah!" near my ear.
They are both wearing skirts and a handstand would mean-
"Ready? Three, two-"
"Stop." I don't want these two to get injured while attempting this stupid stuff. I may be called a scumbag but I won't take advantage of someone when they're like this.
"Kashuma I thought you would like to see my panties-"
"Okay I have had enough! Steal!" I pointed at Megumin and used my skill.
My luck finally worked and I managed to steal the bottle that was in her hand.
"What?! That's no fair Kashuma! Give it back!" I promptly dodged Megumin who was drunk beyond belief despite having only two cups. I mean Aqua's stuff is pretty strong-
"Won't you pweaaaaaaase give it back?" Yunyun looked at me with baby doll eyes.
"Hell no! And I'm going to give you two hell when you-" I was interrupted by Yunyun who smiled and raised her finger to my face.
"Sleep."
She had thought of a pretty good plan. Unfortunately for her my luck isn't just for show as I just happened to have the magic item that deflected magic, making Yunyun fall victim to her own spell. I guess Darkness and Arue got put to sleep while they were just doing their duty.
I'm sorry for almost cussing you guys out.
"Huh? What just happened?" Megumin asked if she knew what Yunyun was doing.
"Alright now look here! When we get home you two and Aqua are in so much-"
"Aah Kashuma! Have I told you how much I love you? Like so so so so so so so so so so so so so much!" Megumin suddenly hugged me tightly and uttered some drunken non sense.
"Don't think I am going to let you off the hook just because you are a little cute. These tactics only work on people who are weak of heart."
"I….look cute to you..?" Megumin looked at me with glowing red eyes.
….…..I think I may be weak of heart.
"Okay okay now let's go back-" My Enemy Detect suddenly pinged. This is bad! Half of my team is dead drunk and the other two are sleeping! We cannot teleport as Megumin is in no state to concentrate and two of us will definitely be left behind as Teleport only works upto four people per spell.
I broke out of Megumin's hug and unsheathed my sword.
"What are you doing" Hiccup "Kashuma? I thought my trick was working on you and we would be able to enjoy this rare privacy-"
"There is an enemy approaching us- Wait were you really willing to- nevermind! Wake up the others!" I ordered Megumin.
"Why? I am the greatest mage! I alone will be able to" Hiccup "h"-Hiccup-"andle whatever this world throws at us!"
"First handle yourself! The last thing I need is a drunken misfire of the deadliest magic in the world!"
"Awww! You think" Hiccup "I have the deadliest magic in the world?" Megumin took it as a compliment and hugged me from the back. I didn't think there could be a worse thing than a slime hug and here it was.
Farsight. I could see….a single zombie headed our way..Huh?
I sighed and calmed down. "It's okay, it's just a single zombie that got attracted by Aqua. I'll wake her up."
"Huh? But Kazuma-"
"Not a word out of you unless you want to help me wake someone up." I went to the unconscious Aqua.
"Oi Aqua, Vanir is saying that the Axis Cult's Goddess is a floozy who puts melons under her shirt to make her chest look-"
"HEH! WHERE IS THAT DEVIL-" I bashed her head with a punch the moment she woke up.
"You'll meet him when I send you to hell! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I berated Aqua who started crying.
"I'm sorry! I didn't think they would lose self control-"
"We'll talk about that when we get home. For now an undead zombie sensed your stank and came here. Purify it." I pointed Aqua towards the now visible zombie.
".…Is that a zombie? It doesn't seem to be exuding any of that foulness that undeads usually have." Aqua commented and I have had just about enough of her excuses.
"It must bathe or something. Just purify it."
"Sure, I don't care how clean a zombie is, it still doesn't deserve to exist. Turn Undead!" Aqua's spell hit the zombie head on and it was shrouded by a light.
"Okay now let me wake up these- wait what?" I was about to go wake up my party but my Enemy Detect skill was still pinging and I saw that the zombie was completely fine.
"Huh that's weird. Sacred Turn Undead!" Aqua tried once again with a stronger spell and the zombie was still completely fine.
"But how…Aqua isn't that skill strong enough to one shot liches?!"
"You are asking me?! I'm more shocked than you! Has hanging out with you messed up my divinity this much?!"
This little-
"Kashuma I have been trying to tell you! There aren't any zombies that look like that around these parts!" Megumin revealed to me something blood chilling.
Is this one of those invincible zombies Sena told me about?! Even Aqua is useless against them! Hell it's not even looking at Aqua like a normal zombie would, it's approaching me!
"We have to run!" I quickly grabbed Aqua along with Megumin and dashed towards our party members.
"Wake up! Damn it, Drain Touch!" I grabbed Aqua's nape and drained her mana to give it to Arue.
"Wait why me?!" Aqua complained as I grabbed her neck quite hard.
"Because you caused all this!" I gave Arue some mana which was able to wake her up.
"Kazuma san! Yunyun and Megumin-"
"Yeah I know but we have an immortal undead to deal with. Let me wake up the rest." I did the same with everyone that was asleep.
"No matter what…..Crusaders mustn't fall to …Hypnosis skills!" Darkness groggily woke up as well and I turned to Yunyun.
"My head….it hurts so much…." It seems like I caused her to have an early hangover.
"Kashuma" Hiccup "what about me?" Megumin complained as she offered me her nape.
"You are already awake!"
"Then how about using Drain Touch on my-" She was pointing at her chest.
"Just teleport us out of here everyone-"
"Energy Ignition!" Arue suddenly used a spell that made the zombie look like it was caught in a bright green flame.
"Idiot! Why did you engage it when I told you to teleport us away!?"
"What are you talking about? I'm not going to back away from a challenge." Arue looked at the zombie which was perfectly fine and she took her wand out.
Then the zombie suddenly started glowing and my Enemy Detect felt as if something was stinging my brain. This was bad.
"Arue look out!" I dashed towards her as I could see the worst possibility come to light.
The zombie fired a beam and it shot right through Arue's shoulder. This was just one of those fucking invincible undeads Sena warned us about, only she undersold it's horror factor! There is an entire army of these?!
Arue fell to the ground and screamed in pain as she put her hand on the wound to cover it.
"Aqua help her out! Everyone who can teleport us out of here do so! Darkness and I will cover you!" I took out my magic item and Darkness even in her sleepy condition came near me.
"It hurts! It hurts!" To see Arue like this is honestly frightening. She isn't some delicate flower.
We saw the zombie preparing and launching another attack as Darkness and I steadied ourselves.
"Teleport is almost…ready…ah.." Yunyun said as if in pain but we couldn't pay attention to her as the zombie's light attack reached us.
"Suck on this loser!" I said as I covered everyone knowing that my item will protect me.
"Kazuma watch out!" Darkness promptly pulled me back.
The beam went through my right arm and Darkness' hand which was holding onto my arm.
This was the worst pain I had felt in my life! Like hot glass being poured into my body!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed in pain and cried. Darkness took it much better than me but she was also looking tense.
The item didn't work. This guy wasn't using magic.
"Kazuma! Darkness!" Everyone called out while Aqua rushed to us.
The zombie fired another blast.
"Barrier!" Aqua casted a barrier around us.
However, it didn't work. We saw the beam enter the barrier and go out, it wasn't blocked. Luckily, it didn't touch anyone. The zombie seemed to be preparing to fire another one.
"Damn you! Reflect!" Aqua used another move and it actually managed to reflect the attack which went back to the zombie.
"Finally, burn to ashes-" As Arue was saying this, the zombie glowed even more.
"IT GOT POWERED UP! TELEPORT US OUT!" I shouted in a panic.
"Teleport!" Arue and Yunyun shouted.
"Just…what was that?" I asked Arue as I collapsed onto my house's floor. I should have listened to Kazuma san, I have the worst headache of my life and my friends got injured because we were there.
"Yunyun…..where are Aqua san and the rest?" Arue said with laboured breathing as she covered her wound- wait?!
"I panicked and teleported myself! I thought you and Megumin were going to teleport them-"
"I…..have a fucking….hole in my…shoulder…..Why would I…Oh no…"Arue cried as she and I realised something.
We had just abandoned everyone there in the midst of a life or death battle!
"THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS!" I shouted as I saw Arue and Yunyun had only teleported themselves out. "Those who can run do it now!"
Aqua came to my side. "I have already healed Darkness, now is your turn. Heal!" I could feel my wound closing as I tried to think of a plan.
"So here is a plan, Darkness and I will distract it while you reflect it's beams until it runs out of juice." I proposed the plan to Aqua and Darkness who nodded along.
"We'll have to be much more careful this time Kazuma." I nervously nodded back to Darkness' words when I noticed something.
"Where did Megumin-" As Aqua was going to ask my question for me,
"I WILL KILL YOU! DARKNESS DARKER THAN DARK, BLACKER THAN BLACK, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THE TRANSGRESSION THIS PITFUL BEING HAS COMMITTED! BURST FORTH, EXPLOSION!" Before we could do anything, Megumin used her magic on the zombie and created a shockwave that knocked down everything in it's path in the terrain. We were lucky no forest or property was harmed this time.
As the dust cleared, I saw that nothing of the zombie remained.
"I'm sorry, Kazuma." Megumin said to me before fainting onto the ground.
