The Adventures of Wanda Maximoff

By: Ariesque

Rated: PG or PG-13

Genre: Humor/Romance

Cautions: Mild language and violence if you may.

Disclaimer: Do not own X-Men Evo, or Arkham Ayslum.

A/N: Another attempt at a journal, day by day. This one is brief, but it will probably grow longer. If anyone likes it enough, I will continue writing it. Takes place after "Chinaberry Tree..." but not exactly a sequel.


November 1

Times have called for a journal for there is no one else to talk to about my stay here in the Brotherhood. Father ordered me to take up embroidery and clean the bathroom. I wonder how Rogue ever faired.

November 2

This is how my day went: Todd proposed to me, father threw him out of the house and flew at me for ever making Todd woo me to begin with. I am plagued with death threats, but they do not bother me.

November 3

Father has been treacherously nice to me today. How do I know? He actually said my name. Usually, he just calls me daughter to preserve his "bad guy" demeanor. He is a lousy father and I have Pietro to prove it. Father wants me to marry a rich man, not Todd who has bad teeth and carries ticks. To make him angry, I said I didn't mind Todd even though he smells horrendous, so Father flew at me again with so much rage that he turned beet red. I ran into my room and have decided it best not to go out anytime soon.

Todd, on the other hand, seems to be extremely happy.

November 4

Exercised with Fred and his Richard Simmons tapes. Teased Lance who writes suicide songs since he no longer has Kitty, having lost her to Piotr. He vows to one day make Kitty his and put Piotr's head on a platter. Such violence.

November 5

Lazy day. My father, the idiot, tried to cook for the Brotherhood and blew up the crock pot as it was jammed with uncooked macaroni. He says I should really take up cooking for he cannot do anything of the like. I really shouldn't, for it would be a shame to end up like my father with the crock pot.

November 6

Picked off twenty fleas. I'll never get used to living with Todd.

November 7

Evil twin brother came home and started hurtling eggs at me outside the house, thinking it was funny. I tried hexing them away, but as soon as I did, Father came out and was smacked by all twelve of them. One hit his helmet so hard that now he has an impression between the eyes where the helmet once was. Pietro did not receive any blame; I was cracked and sent to my room.

November 8

Stole Ms. Harkness' book of Spells. There is one curse which gives a person boils. This could get interesting.

November 9

Tried the spell on Pietro but he is still evil Daddy's boy and boil free. I threw the book out of my bedroom window and it hit Father who was surveying the yard. I was smacked with the book and sent to my room.

November 10

Had a chance to talk to Rogue today. She and I never conversed before, but since I started living with the Brotherhood, I decided to go against my father's wish about never fraternizing with the enemy. She is radiant ever since she won the heart of Remy LeBeau, and I do not blame her. Rogue told me to set fire to the toilet and bribe Todd to take a shower in order to win my heart. I like her much better than any of the Brotherhood and wish she was my twin rather than that foul Pietro.

November 11

Fred slipped and fell on Todd during an exercise session. Exercising is now banned from the household. Fred is actually happy, since he burned all the tapes and has eaten most of the ice cream in the cellar. Father plans to send him to fat camp.

November 12

Warren Worthington III came over today, so the boys and I cleaned the place up the best we could. He is a very nice man with blond hair and cleft chin and does not swagger or sway or drawl like some men do. He sat and talked with me and I was happy, but Father was not pleased when he found out Warren lived in a museum. Said that I could do better, but I beg to see why, for it was Father's wish that he should come today. Then, Todd set Warren's wings on fire [out of jealously, no doubt], and Lance made a grab for the fire extinguisher, but not knowing how to use it, sprayed the white goo on himself. I splashed Warren's wings with the water from a nearby flower vase, killing the flames. I offered to treat his wounds, but Warren politely declined, saying he best be going and never return. I have kicked Todd for ruining this meeting and spent the rest of the day moping in my room.

November 13

I overheard Father talking with evil twin. He told Pietro that the disgraceful John was sent to Arkham Ayslum today after being ruled insane over all instances. Pfuit, I do not believe there is such a sentence or Asylum. Only in the comic books, I always say.

November 14

Suitor #2 was a surprise. Victor Creed came in wearing a tux and a sheepish smile on his face. Father must really be worried about me. I bet his most dreaded nightmare is about me, forty years from now, not only as an old maid but also a HAG. I think it is because I told him once that I wanted to become Agatha Harkness, and since then, he has been wanting to marry me off, even though I am only eighteen.

Anyway, I got rid of the hairy man with Catnip on Todd, because I made a deal with the Toad that if he wears Catnip, I will give him the pillow I sleep on. Father thought Creed had a liking toward Todd and sent him away.

I now have no pillow, but my dignity remains.

November 15

Rogue, though a wonder, cannot relate to having evil fathers. She told me that my dad only wants the best for his girl, even if the best means Victor Creed.

All is Bleak. Even Rogue, who once read Anne Rice, now reads Gone with the Wind, so I have no one I can associate with about my troubles. Damn that LeBeau for giving her a reason for living.

November 16

Took out Harkness' book once more, wanting to make ointment for burns if Pietro ever tries to strike a match on my hand again. Stirred in the wormwood and tested it on Lance, and so far so good.

November 17

Lance developed a rash from the ointment and had to go to the hospital to be treated. Father cracked me a good one and sent me to my room for endangering my comrade's skin. Oh fie, for the life of me.

November 18

It is a wonder as to how I lived to tell my sad tale up to now. I avoided learning embroidery at all costs and have finished cooking a vegetable souffle instead. When my evil twin saw what I was making, he immediately ordered pizza, so now no one would even touch my creation. I took the whole pot, tasted it, decided I was not made to cook, and joined the others for pizza.

November 19

Today I ran away from the Brotherhood home and Todd's fleas and Freddie's exercise tapes and Lance's suicide songs. Ran away from the growing weeds which Pietro waters daily, the stupid spell book of Ms. Harkness, of my father's evil will to marry me off and start a new life with a rich husband and five children.

I took all the money in Father's bank account and rode the train out of Massachusetts and do not know where I am going.

November 20

Got off at Gotham City. I plan to find out if the rumors are true and if St. John Allerdyce really was sent to Arkham Asylum and resides there currently for a failed attempt on Remy LeBeau's life. Since I am already here, I will look for it. And maybe Batman.