The Adventures of Wanda Maximoff

By: Ariesque

Rated: PG or PG-13

Genre: Humor/Romance

Disclaimer: Characters do not belong me.

Cautions: Mild language and violence if you may.

A/N: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience I have caused by my slow updating. I'm working on it, I promise.


December 14

I ran into Rogue as I was walking home after school. She is no longer the same girl I once knew when shewas around me: today, she stared me down in such a way, that I was taken aback for a moment. But only for a moment, because I greeted her as I had done a million times before. She answered politely, but there was still some hostility in her face. Then, as I was walking past her, she spoke in such a hushed tone I almost didn't hear her: "How could yah fall fer someone lahke John."

I whirled around, surprised and hurt and suspended by my wonderment. "Why? What's wrong with John?" I asked, innocently. She stood there, her eyes narrowing.

"He's mad."

"That doesn't bother me." She frowned.

"Ahnd he's dangerous. He ahlmost killed Remy."

I could see she was trying to deter me from the relationship, but I refused to look at her point of view. "I am awful sorry about that, but John has moved on. And frankly," I narrowed my own eyes, "you should too."

Then I continued on my way, satisfied with the standoff. But still, I can't shake the feeling that Rogue has disgust for John. He really isn't so bad, even if he did attempt to kill her boyfriend. Then again, who am I to say? Maybe I should confirm with John about this.

December 15

Well, here I am in Gotham once again, but this time, to get John out of jail. And for what, you ask? Well, here's what happened:

I came home after watching the Lemony Snickett movie with the Brotherhoodians, when the phone rang. It turned out to be the Gotham police reporting that they had picked up the Aussie for setting trash cans on fire. When I asked why they wanted me, they replied that it was the first number John gave them. Cursing him, I hesitated on going to Gotham. Then I thought better of it: that I would brave bad weather and weird people on the ten p.m. train just to get John out of trouble, so I would earn his good graces if he had any.

So I went. And the ten p.m. was delayed because of the horrible snowstorm, and there were creepy people on the next train, but I made it to the police station all right and free from molestation with the directions they gave me. Inside, I found John who was counting the little holes in the ceiling he later told me that he counted 12,510 holes, but I doubt he could have kept that number for that long, and soon I had him free to go home. The sky had darkened and snow was starting to fall as we were walking back to his place. I dryly thanked him sarcastically for making me come down to Gotham, and he had the nerve to say 'Your Welcome'. So I kicked him in the shins, making him howl and laugh as he fell to the ground.

For a while he laid on the ground, squirming in fake agony until I apologized. Grumpily, I poked him with my toe.

"Well, if you're going to be like this, then I'll just go home." I immediately turned around, and he suddenly got up and took me by my shoulders.

"No, no, Wanda, I didn't mean it. Really," he said, hurriedly. I pushed away from him and yelled that if it weren't for him and his lunatic antics, I would be home, nice and warm and not cold and miserable in a foreign place with a mad man.

He dared to raise an eyebrow. "Yah seem afraid to stay with me, Sheila." I glared at him.

"Yeah? Well, I'm not. You're the least of my fears, John." I started to walk away from him again, but he caught my arm.

"Please Wanda. I didn't mean anythin'. I was just bored and got carried away."

"I'll say!" I was so outraged, I was screaming. "They said you lit seventy-four trash cans!"

"Well, dat's my problem," he reasoned. But I wouldn't agree.

"No, because apparently it's my problem too. You called me, remember?" I faced him with intense impatience. Suddenly, he let go of my arm, which I hadn't realized he was still holding.

"Yes, I do remember. And I'm glad yah came." His eyes suddenly softened and I think it was the falling snow, but his face seemed tender against the ghastly blackness growing around us. "Well, yah can go if yah want. But I invite yah tah stay at dah bar fer now, I mean..." He looked up. "It's horrible weather."

I stared in disbelief. "That's a wonderful pick-up line," I spat, sardonically. "No wonder Rogue thinks you're disgusting." John's face twisted as if he had just been stabbed, but I shrugged it off. I guess I was just so very angry.

"I wasn't..." He saw his apologies were to no avail, and decided to give up. "Never mind. Yah don't believe me anyway." He pondered for a moment and then smiled his most sorry smile. "But won't yah at least try to put dis behind yah? I want us tah get along." When he saw that I was hesitating, he let out a sigh. "Please Wanda."

I looked at his sorry smirk. Then with a sigh: "Is there soup at your place?"

Which is how I ended up in John's apartment, surrounded by candles and on his bed. John will take up his shift tonight so I could be alone with my soup.

December 16

When I woke up, I found a note by the bed stating there would be coffee downstairs if I needed any, so I went in search of the pot. In the bar (now closed), I found John napping in one of the booths, so I poured myself a cup and nudged him awake. He turned to me with a sleepy grin, stretching.

"I see yah found my note," he said, noticing the drink in my hand. I nodded.

"That was nice of you," I commented, watching as he got up from his place and went over to the bar. We didn't talk for a while after that until John, facing the sink, asked what was my biggest fear if it wasn't him.

I paused, sipping my drink and looking at the table. Then, with a voice that seemed like a squeak: "Water."

John stopped his work and turned to me. "Water?"

"Well, not just water per say," I said, pushing stray strands behind my ear. "Like big bodies of water: the sea, lakes. You get it." He leaned on the table, arms across his chest.

"Hmm. Can yah not swim, or somethin'?" He meant it as a joke but I looked at him so that he realized he was right. I told him I tried learning, but I best avoid water if I can help it. After a brief pause, he suddenly smiled at me.

"Oh I see," he said under his breath. And then he left and I haven't seen him since then. Wonder what he's up to.

December 17

John, despite my protests, took me to the Gotham Aquarium today. He told me that he considered taking me to some sort of swimming class but thought this would be more fun anyway. After he convinced me that the glass walls were thick and not flimsy, and that the fish refrained from butting the glass with their heads like in Jaws, we finally went inside. It was as scary as hell in there, with those weird fish with their weird faces and crabs and the like (John called them crustaceans). We visited the shark exhibit where John began tapping on the glass so as to attract their attention and had to be asked to stop by the guard manning the showcase.

Outside the aquarium, we settled down in a bench, feeding popcorn to a few birds, which decided to stay in cold Gotham for the winter as John turned to me with a whimsical smile playing on his face.

"Wasn't dat amazing, darlin'?" He placed his elbows against the back of the bench. "Just like in Australia."

"Well, judging that I've never been Australia..." I glanced over just as he took his eyes off of me and focused them on the ground. "Yes, yes. It was nice." I caught his eye and we stared at each other for a moment, in good spirits.

Then he said, "Yah know Wanda, if it wasn't fer dis whole fake datin' thing, I don't think I'd ever get tah know yah." I looked away from him and into my lap.

"Well, I guess I'd say the same for you, Johnnie, with you being a 'mad man' as they call you." He snorted and got to his feet.

"Do...do yah consider me dat?" his voice throttled the question.

"I guess...sometimes. But you aren't really that bad. I think...I think you're more nice than insane. You're a likeable guy." I watched as he lifted his eyes to meet mine and for a second I thought I saw gentleness in those pools of blue. But I can't be for sure.

"Yah think so? Yah think I have potential tah be liked?" He seemed to scoff at the idea, but I supported that thought.

"Why not? I like you." He turned his head to me, surprised. "I mean, sure Father and Rogue think otherwise..."

"Rogue?" he asked, dauntingly. I looked at him, questioningly.

"Yes, Rogue. She doesn't seem so chummy with you. But I think it's all about Remy." I cocked my head. "Isn't it?" John kicked the ground beneath his feet.

"Yah don't know, do yah?" His eyes stayed on the ground as if he were afraid to look at me. "Once upon a time, we were together." Something inside of me froze.

"Together?" I choked.

"Well, I considered it so. She always loved Remy though; took my heart and didn't think twice about it. Of course, I did. Which is why I guess I still love her." My head started spinning. He loved Rogue. No wonder she couldn't bring herself to accept him. She was afraid he'd return to get her back. And maybe that's why he had said yes to our fake dating, to see her again.

We walked back to the bar since John had to get back to work. Instead of going up to his apartment though, I decided I couldn't bring myself to stay. Not when there wasn't any point to stay. John was in love with Rogue, and he intended to stay in love with her.

So I took the ten p.m. back to Bayville. I don't believe I've fallen for the abominable John for I've found out how repulsive he really is.

December 18

When I got back, Father cracked me a good deal and scolded while Pietro teased and Todd cried with joy. Was sent to my room and have moped here ever since.

December 19

Pietro came in, flashing his ghastlygrin and asked what did I do with the disgraceful John in Gotham. He pursued the question so much that I turned on him and cried that we were together no longer. In fact, I denied having any feelings for the Aussie whatsoever. There would be no more talk of St. John Allerdyce in this house for he didn't mean a thing to me. Stunned and obviously thrilled with the new gossip, the evil twin quickly spread the word that John and I had broken up.

I have heard that Father has taken the Scotch to his room to rejoice and Todd fails to leave me alone as he asks every half hour if I need someone to comfort me.

December 20

Decided I was fed up with the depression and obsequious submission Todd was putting himself through, so I snuck out of the house with you dear diary to collect my thoughts and try to move on. And what I've found out, dear diary, is that no one is willing to help you forget.

I learned this the hard way, having run into that Tin Man father called Piotr and his frivolous girlfriend, Kitty whom I have an unnerving irritation for. When the girl noticed me, she quickly reached for my hand and said, "Oh Wanda, we've just gotten news of your, like, break-up with that horrible John. Don't worry about it so much," she patted my shoulder. "He was, like, mad anyway." I glared angrily as I retracted my hand from her grasp. While I was walking away, I heard her whisper to Piotr that I was obviously devastated, which disgusted me.

Why can't people like that just disappear? That's the real devastating part.

December 21

I had settled on the living room couch with Huck Finn, when I heard a few words being exchanged just outside the front door.

And whom do you think could be arguing with Father about me?

John had returned.

I quickly got to the door just as Father shouted that the Aussie was an infernal interference and would be taken care of soon enough.

"Wanda," John said, once he saw me. I told Father that I would take talk to John alone. Throwing a wicked glance at John, Father turned around sharply, his cape fluttering behind him.

"Well, it's good to see yah again," John said, once Father had shut the door behind him. "I really freaked when I found out yah were gone and out and..."

"Really?" I turned an indifferent face to his words. "I can't imagine you worried about me." He dropped his jaw and studied me as if he were talking to an alien.

"Wanda? What's wrong, love?" He tried to reach for my hand, but I moved away from him to widen the room between us.

"Wrong?" I refused to let my true feelings surface. "There's nothing wrong. But I would rather we not pretend to stay together any longer." John knitted his brow.

"I heard about dat. Your Father kind of mentioned it tah me while I was fightin' my way through." He took a step back, as if wanting enough room between us before he continued. "So what's goin' on? Everyone knows dat we've broken up before I do--I don't think it's fair."

"We aren't broken up, John," I told him. "We weren't even together." As if realizing something, John leaned forward with a questioning glare.

"I can't believe dis. Yah really do like me." I grinded my teeth.

"I don't like you, John. How can I like you when you obviously can't like any one else?" I frowned. "And anyway, we both knew we couldn't live this lie forever. Maybe it was nice getting to know you, but that's about all. So, let's end this civilly." I stuck out my hand, which John, after a moment's hesitation, grabbed and gave it a hard shake.

"Dis isn't over," he fumed, as I shrugged.

"Oh, but it is," I replied as complacently as I could. Turning around, I walked back into the house; from my window I watched him leave, my heart heavy. And with tear-splashed pages I end here for today.