The Adventures of Wanda Maximoff

By: Ariesque

Rated: PG or PG-13

Genre: Humor/Romance

Cautions: Mild language and violence if you may.

Disclaimer: Do not own X-Men Evo, or Arkham Ayslum.

A/N: I just hate having to do this, but here's the ending. I have to admit I've had the most fun writing Wanda's diary, and I do hope you all can join me for my next fic also featuring Jonda. Thanks for all the support and here's to John and Wanda!


February 18

I had a dream that Father got blown up on a spaceship, Pietro dug himself a hole to China, and I was walking down the aisle at my wedding in a frumpy yellow dress while Jack Johnson sat on a stool with his guitar and sang "We're Better Together."

I'll tell you one thing: I never listen to Jack Johnson. So, I figured it was time to wake up.

Found myself in the med lab hooked up to so much equipment that I wanted to hide behind the covers until I realized I was already there. I was about to scream for help when I noticed someone sitting next to me. It was the Professor with his bald head, looking very shiny and worried this morning.

"She's awake," he informed someone else. I turned my head to find Mr. McCoy at my other side. He bent over and checked my pupils.

"She's alive," he replied, after awhile.

"I'm also listening," I informed them, but they ignored me and scribbled something down. "Was I the experiment for some teeth implants? Or did you replace my eyes?" I was joking, but at the same time scared they would actually tell me they did. "Because I've always wanted green eyes, but if you give me hazel, I'd accept that."

"My, we talk a lot for someone who's been in a coma for three days," Mr. McCoy whispered.

I blinked. "Coma? I've been in a coma?"

"I thought I just said that," he replied and I wanted to hex him out of the building.

"Why am I here? What's happened?" I knew I sounded dumb, but I didn't exactly know what was going on.

"Well," said Xavier, taking off the ivy, "why don't you tell us the last thing you remember."

Remember? I sat up slowly and shook my head. "I…I was skating at the Gotham Skating Rink. I didn't know how to skate so I kept falling over…Kurt—that boy had to help me up. Rogue, Remy, Kitty, and Piotr were also there. We were just skating the whole time."

"That's pretty accurate," Mr. McCoy said, and Xavier held up his hand to him and urged me to go on.

"And then, the Boys came. They were mad because I had gone to see John that morning. And I got into a fight with them…" I held my forehead. "Oh, it hurts to think." Xavier put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Tomorrow then. You've been through much; it's better to rest." He motioned for Mr. McCoy to leave. "You can tell us later." Before he passed my bed entirely, Xavier took something out. "The Boys send their love—and your diary." He handed you to me, still locked and secure, before leaving.

The fluorescent lights turned off and I went back to sleep, waking up only to write in you.

February 19

It's warm in this med lab. I've rejected the blankets brought in and insist on the thin sheets. Xavier came by again and I told him what I could remember.

"Lance had started a side argument with Kitty and Piotr, and they wanted no trouble, but you know how Lance is, always has to get his way. So when Kitty and Piotr turned away, he got mad and shook the place, sending everyone skating to the floor. And then there was this horrible cracking noise from everywhere. People were screaming and I saw the X-Men start to help others off the rink. I did what I could. But then when I went back into the rink to see if anyone remained, I fell through. A few terrible moments in the water made me recognize I was going to drown, because I can't swim. And then everythingwent black and I ended up in here."

Xavier turned off the tape recorder. He checked my pulse for the second time that day and thanked me for my statement.

"And you have no recollection of being saved?" I thought about it and shook my head.

"Not a thing. But I wouldn't have minded dying either." Xavier turned to me with a curious look on his face. "I mean, I've thought about it, and Ms. Harkness would never approve of me dying, or lying here all day, come to think of it. I'm sure that whichever the case may be, she'll always have a certain potion which will bring me to life again, whether or not I want it."

Xavier gave me a weak smile. He must think me strange by now. "Your Father is home from Bermuda and I have told him of your condition." I put my head into the pillow and let out a terrible sigh. Now I know why I should have drowned. "He will see you soon enough."

"Oh, can't you keep him away?" I was extremely exasperated with all circumstances and I didn't need him to come and ruin any more of my life. "I was doing just fine until he forced himself back into the picture."

"Well, I'll try, for your sake," Xavier said, wheeling away from my bed, "but it will be no easy task. I mean, the man wears a cape."

And tell me that's not insane.

February 20

"What a pity. She was so pretty before she went in." I looked up from reading the latest Entertainment Weekly to find the Boys standing not far from my bed, looking at me with sheepish stares. "Oh! She still has a face," interjected Todd and they all laughed. For that, I threw the magazine at them.

"I'm not changed at all, Boys," I informed them, as I rested my head on my hand, "in fact, I can still hex you around the world faster than your head can spin." We hugged and they wondered how I was doing. "I'm breathing aren't I? But I came to at the wrong time: I've heard Father's back with my wretched twin."

Lance rested a hand on my arm and apologized for almost killing me.

"Don't be sorry, Alvers," I returned, smirking. "I think I am even better, thank you very much." We laughed and I waved away the possibility of seeing Father again. "Tell him I believe we can exist under the same roof, but if he ever crosses me again, I will have to kill him." There is something else I cannot put my finger on. This whole coma thing is wearing off, and I'm remembering things before I dropped in that rink. But not everything, I fear.

February 21

Rogue came in and threw her arms around me. "We were so worried!" She brushed away my bangs with her gloved hands and then threw her arms around me again. "Killed! Drowned! Ah really thought dat was dah end of yah!" She laughed and pinched my arms. "Look at yah! Wanda, yah really are a witch, cheatin' death lahke dat!" She sat back and got a good look at me. "Well, Wanda, has dah cold ice made yah mute? Say somethin'!"

"What's to say?" I asked, nervously. "Was I out like a light?"

"For three days!" She hit me playfully. "What a scare! When he carried yah tah the ambulance, Ah thought…"

"He?" I interrupted. Rogue looked at me, pained suddenly.

"Remy," she finally answered decidedly. But it was like she wasn't even sure about who saved me. I gave her a smile and held her gloved hands in mine. "He's here tah see yah." Remy didn't even wait to be called in—he greeted me with a smart smirk which never fails to make me blush.

"Wanda! Alive!" He came over and gave me a hug. "See, Chere, and y' thought she wouldn't make it."

"Ah never said dat," she drawled, pushing him away.

"Well, I want to thank you for saving my life," I said, smiling gratefully at Remy. But his stare was blank.

"I didn't take y' out of the water…"

"But—I saw yah put her in the ambulance…" Rogue started, confused. I sat back, tired out.

"Look at what y' did, Chere," Remy muttered, gesturing at me. "You've done more damage, makin' her think." He took his girl by the arm and told me he'd be back. And they haven't returned since.

February 22

Woke up in the middle of the night, to an argument going outside my room. Xavier wasarguing someone, and it looked like he was winning.

"…Can I at least see her?" This was not Xavier. It was hard to decipher the voice, but it might have been one of the X-Men.

"No, she's not ready." That was Xavier, and he sounded pretty annoyed.

"I thought I could see her in a few days."

"She's not ready to take it."

"Did she…did she at least ask for me?"

A pause. I craned my neck towards the door. "No." Some movement. I held my breath, wanting to learn more. "Besides, you're keeping her awake."

Nothing gets past Xavier. And sure enough he wheeled himself in, told me to get back to sleep, and closed the door behind him.

February 23

Figured it was Father who asked for me last night. Well, I'm glad Xavier didn't let him in; else I'd have to start hexing things around. Take that, coward!

February 24

Ms. Harkness visited me this morning. She smacked me good for almost dying, and when I told her I could always come back to life with her help, she smacked me some more.

"Miracle pills are too hard to put together. I'm glad you're just lethargic for I wouldn't be able to hit you." She left me some potion to gain back my strength and bananas for potassium. But before she left, she told me I didn't make my appointment to Mastermind that fateful day.

"Appointment?" I was a little dull in the memory. So she jogged it by prescribing another anecdote.

"You were supposed to erase your memory of St. John Allerdyce. You know, the mad man." I thought about it.

"Oh, yes, the mad man." A pain in my chest surfaced and I looked away. "You know, I never thought about him 'til you mentioned that."

"Well, Mastermind just wanted to know if you still want it done. He's still got the coffee, remember?"

I sighed, suddenly wanting to be alone. "Yes. Yes I do."

"I'll call tomorrow. Glad you're alive. And here's the weight-gaining potion. Devil knows you need it." She left me so tired, I fell asleep. But I haven't forgotten about John or my pain.

February 25

Father came to see me. He was dressed in his cape and carrying the matching helmet.

I sat up, defiant. "I figured it had to come to this." He looked at me with an impertinent countenance.

"You know how long I've been trying to get into this filthy place? Practically the whole week!"

"I know what you want. You want to tell me you told me so. All that love stuff is crap and look what it gets people into. But I'll have you know that I've moved on. I don't need love. I mean, look at you. You don't love anybody but yourself, and you still go on with life. You've got yourself a grumpy daughter, Brotherhood Boys who can't even clean their rooms let alone help you with world domination, and an obsequious son who can't take tests without lucky socks. Not to mention every other country which won't take you seriously when you declare war." I sat back, ready for the fire.

But he surprised me. After taking a swig from his small bottle of liquor, he shot me a look that meant death or something close to it. "Sorry Daughter. I can't have you being this pitiful. No Daughter of Erik Lehnsherr is going down in history as a world-class mope. I'll have you on your feet, or my mutant name isn't Magneto!" He said this so heroically, that I half-expected Pietro to appear and start clapping for him. Folding my arms across my chest, I glared at him.

"What're you gonna do then? I'm not a sucker for love. Dammit, I'm the Scarlet Witch. I don't know how to love anyone. You can't get any better than that."

My speechmade Father angry. "This isn't the end of it, Daughter!" He raised a fist. "You'll know that you can't get rid of your old man that easily!" And with a gallant flip of his cape, he was gone.

February 26

Father came back. I was sitting up in bed, looking for that Entertainment Weekly I had thrown at the Boys a few days ago, when he entered the room, his cape flying awkwardly behind him.

"Daughter, I thought about what you said yesterday, and half of it didn't make a darn sense, but I figured there can't be two hapless, blood-thirsty persons in this family. I mean, I'm at the top of my game." Yeah, go on thinking that, Father. "I can't afford to be overthrown by my own Daughter. So I've decided to let you love instead. Because that'll keep you at your own level."

"What do you mean love? I hope Creed isn't behind you, ready to ask my hand in marriage."

"Actually, I figured worse." And then a horrible, amazing thing happened. St. John with his clear blue eyes and shock of orange hair came in, looking weary and nervous. I actually let my jaw drop. "You kids have fun," Father wished, and closed the door after him.

It was far worse than awkward. I straightened the hospital gown on me and tried looking decent. He in turn gave me a feeble smile.

"It's all right," I said, waving my visitor away, "you don't have to stand there like an idiot. If you leave now, it'll save us both the embarrassment and trouble." I turned to the other side and resumed my search for the lost magazine.

"Leave?" He said this so incredulously that I had to look over at him. Pyro seemed so frail that I wanted to trade places with him. "Your Father comes into my cell, raving and ranting like a crazy person, telling the officials that I was harmless and saved your life, and had to be dragged here just to see you, and you're telling me to leave!"

"I'm afraid so," I said, resolutely. "I don't want your company at all."

He stood there, a little mystified. "I've come tah say…"

"Please stop talking." I gave him a stern look. "You didn't want to hear me when I came to you, got sick for you, and you expect me to listen to what you got to say? I remember everything you put me through and as soon as I get out of here, I'm going to see Mastermind and end this once and for all." I had found the Entertainment Weekly and was determined to start reading without further ado.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed John still in the room, and when I met his gaze, I found he had paled a good deal. Well, good. He deserves the cold shoulder treatment after what he's done with me.

"So that's it," he said, quietly. "Can't I even apologize…"

"Look, I'm sorry if you thought you could just come back and tell me your regrets. But I'm through with all of this—please, make this easy on both of us and just leave." I put my head down to read the magazine on my lap until I heard the door shut. John is gone and I guess that's that.

So how come I still feel like I was just run over by a monster truck?

Must remember to ask Xavier to up my medication.

February 27

Pietro came by to make amends. I smacked him before he could run away, but when he did run for his life,my twincame back and laid a red dress across the bed. A peace gift, he said, and got the hell out of there before I could retort. It's a pretty thing with a silk bow and hem that reaches to my knees. A random gift, but it won him brownie points despite the fact that he's such a rotten brother.

Tomorrow I go home.

February 28

As I was getting ready to go, Rogue came in to help me carry my things into Father's limo. She asked me how I was and complemented me on the dress Pietro gave me.

But before I could exit the med lab, the girl grabbed me at the elbow and whispered, "So it's true? You turned away John?"

I was both startled and annoyed at the question. "Of course I did, Rogue. I can't forgive him any—I've rescheduled my appointment with Mastermind." Actually, Agatha did it for me; I'm to see Mastermind tomorrow.

Rogue shook her head, those white bangs of hers falling into her face. "Forget Mastermind for a sec, Wandy. Look: Ah've talked to John. He does care fer yah…"

"What's your point?" I butt in, not particularly happy with her taking that Aussie's side.

"Tell me truthfully, Wandy. Tell me yah don't love him anymore and we'll drop it."

I looked her straight in the eye and blubbered I didn't really know. "But I've made up my mind. I won't bother with John from now on…" I started picking up my bags while moving to the door.

"Remy told me he was the one who saved yah from drowning." I stopped dead in my tracks.

"That's impossible." It really was. I mean, Arkham isn't exactly the easiest prison to escape from.

"Well, he used a distraction," Rogue explained. "There're fires everywhere in that asylum." I turned to face her. "He ran right after yah told him you'd get rid of him. It pulled him to his senses. And when he saw you drop into that pond—he knew you couldn't swim—he couldn't just let yah die. He went in right after yah. Brought yah up an' everythin'. Remy said it was an impressive rescue." She was rocking on her feet and I felt as though the room was whirling. "Arkham took him right back. He didn't even have a chance to catch his breath. Xavier has been corresponding with the asylum, getting them to ease his sentence. But your Father went in there and actually convinced them to release him. Now isn't that something…"

I interrupted: "But why wouldn't he talk to me…even look at me…"

"Wanda," she said, simply, "you're not the only one with pride issues." I really wanted to hex myself into the gurney a couple of times for making him leave two days ago. No wonder he looked so tired: he had no chance to recover. I suddenly wanted to see him, but it was too late. He'd never forgive me. I mean, even I wouldn't forgive myself.

Later

Rogue rode in the limo with me. We talked minimally and though we didn't mention John, he was on both of our minds. The Boys held a surprise party for my return. They blew up plenty of colorful balloons with "Welcome Back Wandy" scrawled on each of them and bought about a hundred pizza boxes which filled up two vans. There were tons of friends and only Father and my evil Twinwho I could care less about anyway,but I did not see John. He really is gone after all.

Later

I snuck out after Fred served the gigantic carrot cake with a massive picture of my face on it, and feeling rather lonesome and depressed, went downtown, bought a Mocha Latte from the nearest Starbucks and headed for Concorde. It was cold without my sweater and the snow was really coming down in clumps. I sat on the ledge and thought about John and I was on the verge of crying myself to death when the door suddenly swung open and there revealed the pyromaniac, looking as desperate to get away as I did.

Occasionally, Life could be both cruel and pleasant at exactly the same time.

He was surprised to see me and quickly tried to explain himself. "I'm sorry, love. I thought no one was here." He proceeded to close the door, but suddenly burst into view once more. "I'm glad to see you're better. I just came to see if I left anything here; I'll be off now." He closed the door after him.

I couldn't help myself and called out: "John?"

He opened the door again instantly. "Yes?"

"Where will you go?" He came through the opening and stood before me.

"I was thinkin' 'bout Australia. I'd like to see her again."

"That's…" He looked up at me with those clear blue eyes of his, and I almost tore in two. "That's far."

He nodded. "Yes. Suppose so. It's nice this time of year, if I remember correctly."

"When will you be back?" I was buying time, but then again he wasn't really trying to get away.

"I'm not really sure."

I brought my legs to my chest. "Well…" He glanced at me, and I shivered. "Good luck then."

He smiled. "Thanks." He turned to leave. But I couldn't stand him going away like that. I called after him again.

"Rogue told me everything." Pyro looked at me over his shoulder and I stumbled with my words: "I'm sorry about before: I-I was rash because I was hurt. I realize now I should have listened and…and I just wanted you to know that." I suddenly stood up; his eyes followed my movement. "You can leave now, but I warn you:if you say you won't come back, I'll just throw myself over the edge and get it over with. And don't underestimate a crazy girl like me, St. John Allerdyce. I mean it." He gazed at me with sparkling eyes.

"I save yah from drowning so dat yah can kill yourself with one jump? What a waste." John shook his head and smiled. "I'll hafta come after yah then." I was a little speechless on my part because I did not expect him to understand my threatsat all. "I came to see yah before, but Xavier wouldn't let me in," John went on, his coat billowing in the February wind. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"So you forgive me?" I asked. He shrugged in response.

"Yes. And do yah forgive me?" I paused before nodding. "So come down here. You're makin' me nervous, love." He offered me his hand and I immediately took it. We stood in each other's arms for what seemed like forever until I asked if he were still leaving.

"Well, that depends." He gave me a stern look. "Would you love a madman like me? Just say the word and I'll walk out of your life forever…" I held him tighter. "…or tell me to stay and I'll do just that."

"Then stay," I said, and kissed him. "Sure you're mad and all, but you're my madman and that makes all the difference."

He laughed before giving me a lengthy kiss. "Wanda Maximoff, I'm only mad because I fell in love with you."

"Yes, I realize that." I put my head on his shoulder; I swear he smelled like burning firewood. "You don't mind the Boys or picking fights with Todd and Movie Marathons and chasing pigeons in the Bayville Square or the fact that I can't cook to save our souls?" He laughed and stroked my cheek with a gentle hand.

"'Course not. I prefer pizza any day."

I gasped. "What about Father? He'd never let it go if I come home with you--he always goes back on what he says." To my surprise, John laughed again and gave me another kiss.

"I wouldn't worry 'bout that, love. I managed to get him to sign an agreement so I could date yah. He can't dispute somethin' put down in writin.' " Leave it up to a madman to do something smart like that.

Well, dear diary, I think it all turned out okay after all. I mean, sure I still got an evil person for a Father, and I can't cook or embroider for beans, but at least I got the Boys and Rogue and Remy and just recently, John.

Father's gone off again to declare world domination at the upcoming NATO conference. We're holding a drinking contest when it airs for every time he mentions "mutants of mass destruction" and we're also placing bets on how many times he flips his cape.

I have a good feeling about him flippingit fifty times. Here's to hoping I'm right for once.


And a few responses to my loyal reviewers:

EE's Skysong: Yes, yes. Mastermind does look like a freaky monkey-man. It's the sideburns! Hmm...I've been called a sadist before and I'm sure it can't be good, but if it makes you happy, than by all means, I am a Sadist. The boogaloo rocks BTW!

L'ange-Sans-Ailes: I think you figured like Agatha. See what love does to a person like Wanda? It actually calmed her down...glad you enjoyed it and hope you can stop by again!

Loneraven: Thanks for the review, sorry for the heart break. This chapter might've helped, I hope.

Goldylokz: It wasn't over, but now it is sobs. Never really saw what was written in Sabrina's spellbook. My guess is that it couldn't have been as cool (or as heavy) as Agatha's.

Trentaholic: Thanks for the two reviews! (Fanfiction lets you do that?) amazing...Hope you aren'ttoo tired from "touring"--that must have been good...andplease don't kill me for ending this story. I mean, there will be more Jonda...hopefully, soon...

Pyro Lady: Well, two out of three of fulfilling your hopes is better than none at all.

Oh, and by the way, I love you all. Here's to Jonda and wishing to seeing you all again!