Ello! I'm back! AND I STILL DON'T HAVE ANY MOTHERTRUCKING FLAMES! GOD!
Dark angel suicide- Thank you my loyal fan. I will reward you again with a one of a kind Embassy Suite coffee mug, which I stole last summer when I went with the rest of my fucking family. (Shh don't tell anyone, it's a secret!)
Candy swirls- it's supposed to have flames. (Cries) maybe I could put it in T. Yeah then I would have some. But thanks for reviewing anyways. And your story is awesomely funny.
"Are you the exorcist?" I asked they priest.
"Yes," he said. "Where is the one possessed?" I lead him up to Joey's room forgetting about the spiders.
"She's not here anymore," Joey said after I had asked him about his whore. "I think she's in her room having a tea party why?"
"Ok." We went down the hall to find Michelle in her room biting the head off a chicken and pouring the blood into a plastic pink cup. "Would you like some tea?" she asked sweetly.
"She doesn't seem to possessed to me," the priest said.
But as soon as she realized that he was priest, she hissed and threw her wasted chicken blood on him and began to climb up the wall again. "God damn her," the priest said whipping the blood from his face. "We need to get her on the bed." After many tried he was able to pull her down, and I just watched.
After we had her tied down to the bed he was ready to start the exorcism. Joey came into the room. "Hey what's going on? Oh yay!" he said when he saw Michele tied to the bed. He jumped on and took off his pants.
"There's no time for that!" I yelled hitting him on the head with my sword. "We are trying to perform an exorcism!"
"Ok," Joey said sadly as he put back on his pants and left.
"Now start."
The priest guy took out his holy water and said some prayers. Michele shot green puke out at him. But he only ignored it and continued. "May the power of Christ compel you!" After that I was getting bored to I decided to go see what happened to Nicky and Alex. I found them at the table sleeping with huge chunks of their arms missing. "Little kids look so cute when they're sleeping," I said. But then I realized they were still bleeding. Since they were only little kids I decided I would call an ambulance.
"Where's the parents," the ambulance guy asked.
"I'm the father," Jesse said.
"I'm sorry but we have to take your kids away."
"Why?"
"Because it looks like you have been starving them for so long they resulted to cannibalism," he said.
"But I just gave them candy today!" Jesse cried pulling out the bottle of 'candy'.
"Sir those are drugs!" the guy said.
"No, its candy!"
"You're going to jail," the guy said taking out handcuffs. "Come on you freak. If it wasn't for this girl, your children would have been dead." I gave a fake smiled as Jesse was pulled away and in the distance you could hear him screaming that it was candy. Yes, yes it is candy. Keep telling yourself that.
"Where did my husband go?" Becky asked.
"He told me to tell you that he has fallen in love with someone younger and sexier then you and he took the boys," I told her.
"What?" Becky said running away crying.
"Hm, what's wrong with her?" I asked myself. I searched the house for the next victim to learn the side effects of this horrible thing we call drugs.
That's all I got for now. What did we learn today? We learned that drugs can make you lose your family and you can go to jail. Poor Tanner family, slowly disappearing… Oh wheel. So who will be the next to learn a lesson? Nobody knows, not even me. THERE BETTE BE FLAMES NOW!
