Some notes: I was getting annoyed at people just having some fluff. Why do Albel and Fayt love each other? And nobody, except for the author of 'All I want for Christmas,' really points out how awkward it would be for the boys to realize they're gay. Think about it, they'd be scared, confused, and ashamed. I was also getting annoyed at all of the fanfics that sound more like letters than stories… but I've read so many that I can't get out of the style for now. But you already know this story, so all I really do need to concentrate on is the feelings. I'll try to write an actual story too, later on, not just this memoir. If you find mistakes, e-mail me the edited version and I'll post it up.

I do not own "Bird," it is sung by Seki Tomokazu. I don't own Star Ocean, Square, The Eternal Sphere, or anything else of the sort.


Ikanaide! sakendemo ano sora e tobu yasei no tori
Never say good bye shinayaka na sono tsubasa yuuki ni akaku somete
Even when I shout "Don't go!", the wild bird flies to the sky
Never say good bye as those supple wings are redly dyed with courage.


You're afraid of dragons, aren't you? You stood behind us atop the Marquis, poised as if ready to jump right off of that platform. It was hardly ignorable in the Mountains of Barr, either, though you were trying hard to hide it. Nobody else noticed, or else they would have said something. Maybe I just pay more attention to your actions. I wonder if even Wolter knew about your fear? Maybe he sent you with us in hopes that you'd get over it. What would you say if I asked you? Now isn't the time.

I leaned against the railing, as if there was a possibility to reach out and simply push the Vendeeni right out of the sky.

"Nel, you have to keep trying!" I heard Maria shout.

"I am trying!" The runologist grunted, giving the attack all she had.

"Come on, you can do it!" I heard Roger's childish cheers of encouragement from below. The boy had become quite strong after a little training, it was much easier fighting beside him than it was with Maria.

"Fayt, be careful!" I felt Cliff's strong arms wrap around my waist as I lost my balance. The man held me tight, reminding me of a feeling I had once. That feeling had been dismissed as unacceptable, merely a side effect of the loneliness that Sophia left me with. I can't say we were ever more than friends, but once she was gone I realized that I did love her a great deal, even if it was as friend.

You did nothing. I looked over my shoulder to make sure you hadn't really jumped ship, but you just stood there. After a while I dug up the horror buried in your façade. You were staring at… the small bursts of flame created by the weapons. Next time we're alone, I'm going to ask you. I'll take the risk of seeing my stomach on that devilish claw. Why are you so afraid? Why were you there? Nobody forced you to ride the Marquis. You had no business there. Oh, right, now I remember.

We returned to land and rested for four hours while Mirage, Marietta, and the rest repaired the Diplo. That would have been the perfect opportunity to approach you, but I had fallen asleep.

"Hey, kiddo, it's time to go!" Cliff came in and woke me up, sitting on the side of the bed. "It's time to say bye to Elicoor. I think I'll kind of miss it here, but it'll be nice to at least see indoor plumbing again, right?" He laughed.

I smiled, but it shrank quick. "My dad is out there somewhere, and Sophia." My attempts to encourage myself fluttered much like a dying butterfly making a final attempt at flying.

"What's bothering you, Fayt?" A strong supportive arm was placed across my shoulders. Shivers of dead feelings ran down my back.

"We'll come back here once we've beaten the Vendeeni, right?"

"We've already caused the Elicoorians so much trouble, I can't promise anything." I nodded in agreement with him. It wasn't like you'd want to see me again anyway, I thought to myself, why visit something that hates me?

You weren't there to say goodbye, that's when I found out the answer to why you had come into that final battle with us despite your fears.

The normal courtesies, apologies, and thank yous were exchanged. Roger was about ready to say something, but it didn't need to be said. Anyone could have guessed that he'd beg to come along, and I'd feel guilty having to say no to those big eyes of a child. I'd feel even guiltier if he were hurt fighting off of this world. He was strong against horned turtles and the sorts, but I didn't want him to have to face guns. I cut off the small boy as he started, pretending I didn't hear him.

"Where's Albel?" My chest knotted, but I reminded myself that this 'love' was only temporary. It would go away once I was finished being away from Sophia. That was once reason I didn't go looking for you, I had to find Sophia fast so that I could stop having feelings for others. No more wishful thinking about Cliff's motives for protecting me, or about how maybe I could be the one to make you see the world a little brighter.

"He went home. He said something like 'the danger is passed, so there is no need for me to stay here.'" Wolter shook his head. So that was why you came with us, for the so-called 'joy of battle,' the excitement. Is that all I represent? I know trouble follows me, Cliff confirmed it for me, but… I had the urge to find Sophia before I went insane.

"He'll never change." I heard Maria comment.

"Don't say that."

"I didn't even get to say good-bye." Hiding the pout, not wanting to look like a child, I couldn't hide the look of sadness.

"We will tell him for you." The king reassured me. I had to wonder how Albel 'the Wicked' would respond to that. 'Fayt said good-bye.' Maybe he would realize that I cared and- no, once I find Sophia, this whole nightmare will be over.