Here's the second chapter!
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Hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.
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The sound of my alarm woke me up. It was the same sound as every morning but today it felt like a million hammers banging on my brain, all at the same time.
I really need to stop drinking that much, at least when I have to work the next day.
This is all Kev's fault, he shouldn't have invited me to Molly's. Yeah, Kevin…his fault, this has nothing to do with me second guessing all the decisions I have made during the past few months.
How can something be so clear one day, and so blurry the next?
It's way too early and my head is pounding way too much to have this, very deep, conversation with myself right now. I grabbed some clothes and headed to the shower, maybe that could help.
Once ready I got my phone and fired a quick group text
Overslept. I'm buying breakfast on my way to the district. Anyone want anything? Food? A ride?
It didn't take too long for the replies to come, Jay and Erin just said no, Kev asked me to pick him up and Kim just ignored me. That was odd, but again too early to dwell on that. Maybe it wasn't odd, maybe this confused and stupid version of me was getting everything wrong.
I took my keys from the island in my kitchen and just went to pick up Kev and my food. I need something greasy to cope with this hangover.
Today was not gonna be a good day.
"Hey dawg, good mornin'" Atwater climbed into my truck with a smile on his face, I have no clue how he did it, but this man was always in a good mood.
"Morning bro" my reply lacked his enthusiasm, the sound of my voice made him turn his head and look at me.
"Damn, you look like shit. What happened?"
His comment made me chuckle.
"Whoa, thanks for the compliment." The irony in my voice could be detected by anyone.
"Seriously Ruze, everything alright?"
"Yeah… just hangover, massively hungover" I answered him trying to trail off his interest as we headed our way to the district, of course I had bought my food before picking him up.
"Adam Ruzek, I was there, you didn't have that much to drink. Cut the crap and tell me what's going on."
"Nothing." I sighed with frustration but I realized that trying to hide something from Atwater was useless. "Wendy called me last night, I didn't get much sleep."
"Well, judging by your tone it doesn't sound like the kind of fun calls you and her sometimes share." He knew there was much more to what I was saying, even if I didn't know what it was yet, and he wanted me to put it out there.
"Nope, not at all. It was the same thing as always, you know? She wanted to take the call there and pretend everything was fine. Just hide all our problems under the rug. I didn't feel like it. She got pissed and went on forever over a bunch of things that I don't even remember anymore"
"So, you're upset about the fight?"
"I have no fuxking idea what I'm upset about" I got tense and the tone of my voice was hard. We had just pulled in the parking lot, I could feel the grip of my hands on the steering wheel get tighter and I knew Kevin could see it too.
He looked ahead and answered me as if it was obvious "Oh, I think you know exactly what's pissing you off."
Yeah… There, leaning against her car, was Burgess kissing her boyfriend.
I tried to ignore Kevin's comment as I watched Kim and Roman walk into the district, strangely they were not holding hands.
I was silent for too long until I realized that I had to answer Kevin
"What do you mean?" I know exactly what he means, I'm just playing stupid to see if I can get away with this.
"Come on, man! Are you really gonna go there? He sounded exasperated "You like her."
I opened my mouth to talk, but he cut me off completely. "Don't you dare try to bullshit me. I see you two together all the time. Don't you think I noticed how you get all highschool boy around her?" I really had nothing to say back, but Kev, gosh, there was plenty coming out of his mouth. "and when you completely ignore Wendy's texts if Burgess is around, no wonder the girl is pissed off." Wow, was I really that obvious?
"How on Earth do you know that?"
"Come on bro, we took the detective test together. The results might not be in yet, but I still know the basics of my job" both of us laughed at that comment.
At this point, there was no use in denying anything that had just been said by him.
"What's wrong with me?" I couldn't hold the frustration in my body anymore.
"Nothing's wrong with you, dawg. You just like her"
"But it's Burgess. I can't like her"
"Why not?"
"There's like a million reasons" I could see how Kevin was staring at me attentively, so I continued "She has a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend, she's my friend… I don't know man, let's just drop it, alright?"
"Sure, but not talking about it won't make it go away"
"Don't you think I know that?" I sounded pissed as hell, I kind of felt sorry for Atwater, he was just trying to help I guess. "I just don't know what to do."
"If I were you, I would start by sorting things out with Wendy".
I looked at my watch pretending to be worried about the time, but I was actually just completely trying to avoid this conversation.
"Let 's go. I don't want to get on Voight's bad side on top of everything else".
I didn't even wait for his answer as I climbed off the truck and he did the same. Kevin went straight to the bullpen while I stopped by my locker. Apart from needing to put some things away, I needed to re-set my mind before walking upstairs and facing my partner.
It's not like any of this was new to me, but now that it was out and clear, it just hit me differently.
Murphy's law. Apparently the universe has an alternate plan for me. How on earth did I think that was going to run smoothly?
There she was, sitting on the bench looking down at the floor.
"Morning, Burgess"
She lifted her head up as soon as she heard my voice.
"Good morning, Ruzek"
The smirk on her face was trying its hardest to hide something, discomfort? Sadness? And her eyes were not shining the same way they did everyday. Something was off.
I narrowed my eyes as I walked closer to her. "Kim, you ok?" She didn't speak, just nodded as she got up from the bench.
"I'm fine… I just… Can I?" She said as she was walking closer to me. For a woman that always knows what to say, it was strange to see her struggling to find the correct words. She took the remaining steps to be in front of me and wrapped her arms around my waist while her face rested on my chest. I held her tight in my arms with no hesitation.
"Hey, it's alright. I'm here for you. You know that right?"
I could feel her head nodding against me. We stayed a few seconds like that.
Have we hugged before? Yeah, thousands of times. Has it ever felt like this? No, never. Was it helping me get my mind straight? Hell no.
My thoughts were interrupted when I felt her move gently and slowly pull away from the hug. I looked straight into her eyes, looking for answers but she gave me nothing. I knew I had to break the silence first. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, thanks." the weak smile she gave me was fucking killing me. "It's nothing really. I just needed that hug"
"Any time."
"I know." she smiled and looked down again before she continued speaking. "I'm gonna head upstairs."
"Ok. I'll be right there."
The rest of the day flew by. A simple but demanding case had popped up that kept all of us busy but we were able to wrap it up. That worked wonders for me, only work was capable of putting my thoughts on pause. I just wanted to stop thinking right now.
Everyone was getting ready to leave, with the exception of Voight, he has the habit of staying in his office for a bit longer.
"Hey guys, I'm not gonna be able to make it tonight." Atwater's voice echoed in the bullpen, I had completely forgotten about tonight. Burgess' and my questioning look got him to continue talking. "I'm going out with Rojas." The grin on his face was speaking for itself, Burgess was so right about Kev's crush on Vanessa.
"You go, tiger!" I could only laugh when I heard Kim shoot that comment.
"Anything special planned?" I asked.
"We're just going out for drinks. I wanna keep it casual, you know?" Like always Kev was keeping his cool, he knew he had a way with the ladies.
"Sounds nice. Advice from your female friend, please don't take her to Molly's. That's like the last place we wanna be taken out on a first date to."
"Wasn't your first date with Roman at Molly's?" I asked again.
"Yeah" She rolled her eyes "I know what I'm talking about".
Kevin chuckled at the comment "You can relax, I'm not taking her to Molly's. There's this new place down West Hubbard Street, I heard some great things about it so we're going to check it out."
"That's great, bro. Have fun tonight!" I was really happy for Kev, he totally deserved a good time with a great girl.
"Thanks dawg. Imma head out, see you guys tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow, Kev. You have a great time tonight." Kim's voice was sweet and calm, she was feeling much better than this morning, I knew that much.
"Will do." He answered as he hugged her before doing the same with me and walking down the stairs.
Kim gathered her things and walked to my desk leaning against it.
"So… what time should I stop by?" I don't know what I did with my face, but I must have done something because her eyes were narrowing as she spoke again "Unless you wanna call off tonight because Kev won't make it. If you wanna make other plans with Wendy, it's totally fine with me."
"What? No. I'm still down for tonight. Just come whenever you want."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah… why?"
"I don't know. You seem weird."
"I'm fine Burgess." I got all my things and headed downstairs, Kim following behind me. "Come when you're ready and we'll get take out or something."
"Ok. I'll take the beers." She reached in to hug me, gosh that feeling was hitting me again. "See you in a while." She said as she pulled out.
"See ya…"
