kanashige na me de naze mitsumerun da? nandomo furimuite
mouichido dake dakishimetai to negatte shimau
Why do you gaze at me with those sorrowful eyes? No matter how often you turn away,
I can't help wanting to embrace you just one more time.
You refused to look at me, again. The rejection wretched my heart. What was going on inside your head? It seemed like you loved me back... but I saw you when you left Cliff's room that night. I just don't understand.
Finally, nearly out of Aire Hills, I met with those eyes. They reminded me of something we had spoken of, but this time the mood was different. I don't remember it by heart, but I remember the meanings. 'Why do you think we lost?' You had asked me in Peterny, during the daylight. 'You lacked compassion.' You rejected my response, scolding that there was too much compassion. With children starving in the cold winters, loved ones dead, there was no room for compassion towards the enemy. You didn't sound very wicked then. Albel, who was your lover before the war? Who died?
I got the same message this time, but with a feeling of loneliness, not anger or frustration. Compassion will make you weak. I could see your thoughts to yourself through your eyes. You were transparent, in that moment, or translucent at least, like a stained glass window. Yes, your eyes, like red stained glass. If you were to cry, just once, maybe the stains would decimate. Those blood tears were hardened in refusal.
And then it was gone. Just when I thought a hurricane would break the stained glass between us, those windows were boarded up with sharp sacrificial nails, driven by a crude hammer into the hard cold petrified planks of an ancient oak.
Yes, I guess you were right. Compassion does make you weak. It causes your feelings to leak. it distracts you when you don't need distractions. I have scars to prove it.
We reached Airyglyph with ease as the effects of the vile wind finally diminished. Our party diffused once we were within the walls. You stayed with me like you always did in the capital cities. I never questioned as to why and you never explained. I always supposed it was because the people of Aquios might try revenge on you, or the Glyphians would try to take you back as a traitor. The one time you did walk Aquios alone, people shot you threatening looks, I remember it. It was before we left to fight off the Vendeeni. Wolter did tell you to come with me, perhaps there was an agreement that you could live freely if you stayed by me.
Maybe, just maybe, you stayed because you wanted too.
I could scratch that, the other reasons were a lot more plausible, but my heart doesn't want to.
You grabbed my arm with your right, pulling me a little closer. "There's something I have to do." Your eyes had that translucent look to them again, almost as if you could break. Ernest. Sad. A twinge of moving on, sailing away from something you've clung to for years.
"Do what you have to, Albel." I smiled, glad for your openness. Every time we talked, you seemed to become more open. I've seen you smile more and more as well, an ordinary smile that brights the day. What was once a smirk became an awkward smile when I looked close enough. When we thought that it was all over, that the danger had passed, you gave that smile that made he feel as if I could faint. When an invention was going well, you'd grin that big grin.
And I got that silent smile from you as you turned and headed towards the west, towards the castle. I followed. You didn't tell me to, or look at me, or act like you noticed in any way at all, but I wasn't taking a notion to be sneaky. I think you're just used to my company, or expected me to come. What would you have done if I hadn't come? I hope you'd have stopped and asked, but I don't want to think of the chance that I'd leave you on your own, abandon you. I would never, not now.
You approached the king and I stayed behind the corner of the wall, silent. He scolded you for your sudden disappearance.
"If I must be punished, then so be it... but there's something I must do first. So, I ask you to lend me the sword."
"How dare you address His majesty in such an irreverent manner!" The 'Dragon Brigade Realist' scolded you. "Such insolence will not be tolerated. Remember to whom you are speaking."
"It matters not. Do not let it bother you." The king assured him. Obviously you were close to the king.
"You, your majesty! I understand, but he's being so..."
"It matters not. I have no issue with his manner."
"Yes, your majesty! Please forgive me."
"The sword, you said. And just what sword would that be?"
"You know the one. The sword of the Crimson Scourge. What other is there?"
"Are you so great a fool!" I was held speechless. This strange soldier had the nerves to call YOU a FOOL? Well, this was new. "The sword is the Kingdom of Airyglyph's royal treasure. Do you really think the king would readily hand it over to such an insolent fool as you?" I was amazed at your calmness. You really have changed, Albel the Wicked. Is it because of me? I sure hope so.
"It might be late for such a question... but allow me to ask: Have you gone utterly mad?" The king exclaimed.
You shook your head and smiled rather sheepishly. "I can't even answer that." With that I could feel my face color. It felt hot. Albel... Albel the Wicked... You're beautiful. You've changed... your smile... it makes my knees feel weak... it makes me... it makes me very happy. Your smile makes my chest hurt so hard I could explode and just smother you with every part of me. Albel... your beautiful. "But the truth is, we have no other choice. Using that sword's power as soon as possible is the only solution I can think of."
"Power you say... you want to use it against those monsters that infest our land."
You shook your head again. "My own sword is sufficient to deal with them. But there are greater threats than monsters."
"Greater threats...? It is indeed a sword of unfathomable power. It would be a powerful force for us– if you could gain mastery of it. However... are you capable of mastering it. As far as I know, the only person that magic sword has ever acknowledged as its master was your father, Glou Nox. Vox, too, tried to wield it, but he, in part, fell under it's sway. What will happen if you lose the battle to the sword and it ends up ruling your mind?"
"Then it shall mean I was not equipped to save our world. These outsiders will take over for me, I'm sure."
"It seems we have a difficult decision before us. Truthfully, I do not wish to lose you, even if it for the sake of our kingdom. However, we have no other choice." He rose from his throne and led the way towards the treasure room. You looked at me on the way out and smile as if it meant 'I'm glad you're here, you give me strength. I can do it now, I won't fail again.'
Again? Did I read that right? In your eyes, did you say again?
We reached the room and your prepared yourself. The king held me back from helping you as we watched.
"Hey... W-why's that thing glowing?"
"Because it is the sword of the Crimson Scourge. It is a legendary magic sword passed down through the ages to our kingdom from the ancient kingdom of Aquor. It is said that when it is wielded by one who is worthy of being its master, the sword could even cleave the sky in two." The king told me.
"Worth of wielding it? What does that..."
"It means exactly that. The sword itself chooses who shall wield it. Consequences most unfortunate shall befall the unworthy who would attempt to use it."
I grew worried. "What exactly are those unfortunate consequences you speak of?"
"In the best case the sword takes over the wielder's mind. In the worst case, it consumes both body and soul."
"How Awful!"
"Silence! It has already begun." I couldn't save you now... but I wished you good luck.
"O sword of the crimson scourge. I command you to recognize me as your master. And I command you to grant me your power!"
"Seeker of power... what is it that you hate?"
Your face turned into a sort of saddened expression. "Hate? What do you mean?"
"Hate is the root of power. Those who go against one's will must be compelled by force."
"What utter nonsense!" You were poised as if to attack the sword with your venomous words. "I've no time for stupid questions. What is it you wish to say?"
"There is no conflict without hate."
You rose and calmed down, sad, understanding?
"Do you hate hatred for those monsters that seek to harm you? Do you have hatred for the worthless subordinates who do not live up to your expectations? Do you have hatred for the cowardly commoner who is not willing to fight to the death? Do you have hatred for the king who stands above you, handing down selfish commands? Do you have hatred for that arrogant dragon knight who always looks down on you? Do you have hatred for the one who is better than you and is beloved by the masses?" That question caught me up. It was me, wasn't it... Albel hated me, didn't he... The sword seemed to be all knowing... and my heart crumbled within my ribs. "Or... Do you have hatred for that monster who drove your father to his death?"
"ENOUGH!"Your eyes closed and you looked so sad... so incredibly sad... Let me hold you, oh wicked one, right now, I wish to hold you.
You drew your sword out and threatened the other. "ENOUGH I SAID! I hate myself! I hate myself for the inexperience that makes me a failure in battle! I hate myself for the selfishness that will now allow me to accept others! I hate myself for the arrogance that makes me look down on those weaker than I! I hate myself for my suspicion-filled heart that distrusts the king! I hate myself for the rebellious nature that prevents me from cooperating with others! I hate myself for the jealous nature that makes me envious of those superior to me. And... I hate myself for the death of my father, BROUGHT BY MY OWN IMPOTENCE!"
"This, then, is your answer?"
"YES! I HATE NOTHING MORE THAN MYSELF!"
The room was set aglow, blinding. When finally I could see you again, you were shaking your head. "Damn... What was that voice?"
"You may take me in hand, warrior of strong heart. I shall bend to your will. Together we shall destroy all being cleaved by my blade. And all we slay shall be cast out of this world for all eternity." And with that you pulled the weapon out as your own.
"Well done. A splendid accomplishment indeed, Albel." And the king left.
"Are you all right?" I placed a hand on your shoulder. You didn't push me away, but smiled weakly instead.
"My head aches a bit, but that wasn't so bad at all. I can leave at anytime."
Oh Albel...I smiled back at you. "You did really great."
"Out with it, fool, I know you have questions."
"I want you to tell me want happening onlyif you trust me, onlyif you think you're ready." I pat your shoulder and turned to leave. You caught my shoulder and pulled me back. Your chest was on my shoulder blades, your breath fresh against my neck.
"I trust you, Fayt."
Please read the notes I edited onto the last chapter, thank you! Somebody else acually supports my view on Albel's nature, that he refuses love. They have an RP myspace along with someone else who does Fayt. 'Albel' is constantly saying that he hates Fayt and that he isn't in love... when he obviously has an obsession. This pleased me. I think it was someone on the Y! Gallery. (not yahoo) Oh, and I'm sorry for quoteing somuch of the game, I don't like it when people do that too much. I've read the Peterny scene so many times... 4 more chapters to do! Mweeheehee...
