AN: I dedicate this chapter to Social Cat who has not only housed me for 1000 years but drove me to Starbucks for some much needed caffeine today and then subjected me to boring documentaries so I wouldn't get distracted by good TV as I wrote this. Thank you also to everyone for your continued support and interest in this story. I hope this next chapter answers some of your questions, if not it will all become clear soon.
Two bags of blood, sixteen stitches and a shot of morphine later and Elliot found himself lying horizontal in Jackie's guest room. His eyes glazing over as he stared up at the ceiling, intricate circles forming above him as the padded mattress cocooned him from beneath. He could feel pain relief flooding through his veins, easing his muscles into a weightless state but trepidation still pounded heavily in his chest.
He blows out a heavy breath because he can feel her now, nearly a litre of Olivia's blood pumping through his veins, her essence interweaving it's way through his blood stream, pulse after pulse until it finally reaches his heart. The concept rears his mind backwards, to memories of a conversation they had in a hospital elevator a lifetime ago when they first discovered they shared a blood type.
I'd give you a kidney.
Not if I gave you mine first.
And yet his mind was still wrestling with the fact that she was here with him now, in real time. His brain still catching up with the fact that when he told her to run at the gas station - she didn't. He thinks about how much easier it would have been if she had, how many lives could have been saved but how a huge part of him was struck by the undeniable selfish sense of relief that she didn't.
And he knew how this was going to look to her.
He knew being in Jackie's home was only going to raise more questions instead of answering much needed ones. He had had ample time to clue her in, to bring her up to speed but what he wouldn't admit to himself was that he was scared out of his damn mind at what her reaction would be. He knew he would lose her once she knew it all, or at the very least he would lose a part of her - that part that trusted him irrefutably. The part that always invariably saw the good in him.
But if he were honest, that part was probably long since gone.
"How are you feeling?" Jackie whispered from the door that was partially ajar causing Elliot to slightly jump. "Painkillers kicking in?" she whispers.
Elliot closed his eyes, thankful beyond belief that he was finally in a state of recovery but equally concerned as to Olivia's whereabouts.
He took a few solid breaths.
"Come in and close the door Jack," he tells her steadily and watches as she follows suit.
Jackie looks somewhat nervous but she takes a seat on the edge of his bed until her back rests up against the bed banister.
Her eyes settle on him.
"Where is she?" Elliot asks.
"In Nate's room," Jackie tells him slowly. "Resting up."
"Are you sure?" Elliot tries to hoist himself up to see her better but winces in response.
Jackie moves forward, lifting the pillow behind Elliot's head, propping it up before she reclaims her seat.
"Yes Elliot," she lets out a knowing breath. "She gave you a lot of blood you know.. more than she probably should have. That combined with the painkillers for her shoulder and lack of sleep. She's going to be out for a while.."
"How's her shoulder?" He asks, a pang of guilt hitting at the fact that with everything going on he'd near but forgotten.
"It was a clean dislocation relocation," she tells him, borderline impressed. "You did well."
He nods in response, thankful for that confirmation at least.
"I gave her a shot to reduce the inflammation around the joint. Her nose is okay too. She didn't break it, it's just likely to bruise like a sonofabitchby morning," she says with a weak smile. "Oh and you may need to lather with some icy hot on that shoulder of hers for the next week or so.." A glint of playfulness reaches her eyes as if she knew he'd enjoy the opportunity.
He dismisses her attempt at keeping it light-hearted, his mind too focused elsewhere.
"Did you tell her not to use the phone, not to do anything-"
"Yes El," Jackie tells him through a tired breath, like he shouldn't even have to ask.
He feels a surge of relief.
"And how did she respond to that?" Elliot raises his eyebrows.
"Not well," Jackie blows out.
"How much does she know?" he asks cautiously, knowing they would have had adequate time for a conversation while Jackie was tending to her shoulder.
She gives him a humerous laugh before she tilts her head in question. "You tell me."
A few beats pass as she picks some non-existent fluff off her pyjama pants.
"I mean, she must mean a lot to you if you risked bringing her here."
Elliot closes his eyes. "I know.. it's…" his words trail off as he tries to find the right words. "She's.." but he doesn't even know how to categorise it. To categorise her. In fact, he doesn't think he's ever been able to.
"Look," Jackie expels a breath. "I can tell that she's important to you, that's all I really need to know. The less I know the better right?" Jackie scrubs her hands down her thighs before she begins to get up.
"Wait Jack," he stops her with his words. "You know I wouldn't have risked being here if I had anyanother option. The last thing I wanted was to put you in danger too."
"Like I said Elliot," she said with a pained smile. "You come to me. Alwayscome to me." Her eyes traced his before he sees a sadness that causes her to practically rear back. "Nate would have wanted that," she says through a shaky breath.
Elliot nodded, the name rattling him more than he'd expected.
"Yeah," Elliot blew out as a wave of regret and nausea hit his stomach, a bout of memories he'd rather not face bubbling up to the surface. "Look," he tries to grasp. "Don't mention Nathan to Liv okay. Don't mention anything at all. I've…" his words trailed off and he almost felt hopeless. "I want it to come from me."
Jackie just stares at him, as a silent wave of understanding passes between them.
"Mum's the word." She whispers with a smile reserved only for him.
She moves to the door then, her hand just about to turn the handle when he stops her.
"Jackie, as soon as she wakes up," he scrubs a hand over his face. "Can you tell her I want to see her.. that I want to talk to her." His head now craning so they can still make eye contact.
A few beats pass between them as he watches her consider his request.
"You sure that's a good idea Elliot? You need rest," she tells him as she lingers, her eyes moving down to his covered stomach.
"Please," he tells her quietly. "If I don't talk to her soon," he lets out an anxious breath. "She's going to run."
TBC
AN: P.S. I'm not a medical doctor and don't pretend to be. So go easy. :)
