Hey everyone! Hope your having a great Chicago Wednesday!

This chapter was a challenge to write... I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think so as to keep it into consideration for future chapters

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.


I tried everything to silence the voices in my head, but nothing was doing the trick. The gym didn't work, the nice warm shower didn't work, the stupid chick flick didn't work, I guess that meant I just needed to go with the flow.

The flow being a homemade gin tonic, me on my couch and that movie in the background.

I glanced over to the kitchen chair and I saw Adam's jacket hanging there. Yeah… I never gave it back, sue me.

To be fair, he never asked for it and I liked having his smell lingering around my apartment.

The smell was almost gone now but having it there reminded me of him, not that I needed anything for that to happen.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that his dark green jacket was reminding me of the amount of crap I was doing. I was being so hard on myself but I was being harder on him. He didn't deserve this and I surely didn't deserve him.

My relationship with Roman and the way it had ended messed me up one more time. Suddenly I didn't think I was worth it anymore and I couldn't drag Adam into this mess.

Him being my partner, his support, that's one of the best things I had going on and I wasn't willing to lose that. I was terrified I could lose that.

The conversation I had with Erin over lunch was replaying in my head over and over again.

"I don't get it Kim, why do you keep yourself from being happy? Both of you obviously care about each other." She picked out the doubt in my face almost instantly.

"Remember the day after you broke up with Roman that we were sent out together and we talked?" I nodded. "When I was talking to you I got this message." She paused for a second while she looked through her messages on her phone. When she finally found what she was looking for and handed the device over to me. It was a message from Ruzek.

Please take care of her and let me know if I can do anything to help.

My heart melted as I read that, I gave Erin her phone back and she continued talking.

"Look, I know Ruzek can be annoying, stubborn, hot-headed and a real pain in the ass, but he's a good guy, one of the best I know and he cares about you. Stop running away from that, stop running from what you want."

"I'm scared, Erin. What if I mess it up? What if he thinks I'm not good enough."

"I don't think that's gonna happen." Lindsay said firmly.

"You don't know that. I'm afraid that I could potentially lose him as a friend, too."

"Basically, you are afraid of what's happening right now." She took a deep breath and went on.

"I know it's hard, but open up to him. I'm sure you'll sort things out. Don't miss this opportunity, you don't know how many times you're going to get it."

Damn it was she right, I never thought about it from that perspective. I wanted to avoid something that I had already caused by being a stupid little coward. Grow up Kimberly.

I was so focused on my thoughts I felt I was in some kind of parallel universe and I could barely hear the knocking on my door.

I got up from the couch and walked to the door holding my glass in one of my hands like the drunk I was starting to become. I didn't even feel like looking through the peephole, I just opened the door and saw him standing there.

Why did he always show up when I was looking like complete crap? First in the gym where I was sweating like a pig, and now a messy bun on the top of my head, no makeup at all, ripped jeans, white T-shirt and long blue navy cardigan and to wrap it all up, my slippers on.

Him on the other hand, he looked so fucking good. He had his wool hat on, I swear he's the only one in the unit who can pull off that look. His jacket was unzipped and I could see that stupid red flannel shirt I loved, under it.

"Hey." I was perplexed to see him, I just stood there and said nothing else, just that plain 'hey'.

"Hey." He looked down, I wasn't making this easy. "I'm not really sure what I'm doing here." I shrugged at the statement. Why was I being this horrible human being? "I guess I'm worried. I have this feeling you're avoiding me."

"It's not a feeling. I am avoiding you." If the hardness in my face matched the hardness in my voice, then I can guarantee it wasn't a pretty picture to look at.

Lindsay was right. Here I was running away from the slightest possibility of actually trying to be happy.

"Ouch." He took his right hand and took it to the left side of his chest. "That was hurtful, Burgess." He was trying to be a comedian, acting all funny and tough as if he didn't care, but I know what I said was hurtful and I definitely know he cared. "Ok, then. I'm gonna be heading back now." He hesitated, and he finally turned around to leave.

I was numb, I didn't know what I'd done, even less what I should do now.

Damn it Kimberly, get your fucking act together. You're letting friend, forget friend, you're letting the guy you like walk away from you. You are pushing him away from you.

"Adam, wait!" I grabbed his arm using my free hand. He stopped in place, taking him a few seconds to turn around and face me. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok, Kim…" he was going to keep talking but I didn't let him.

"I'm acting like a complete bitch and that's not ok." I made a brief pause and sighed before I went on. "I don't even want you to leave in the first place. Come in? Please?" He looked straight into my eyes and I could totally see the confusion and doubt in him, but he finally walked into my apartment and took off his jacket and hat, everything was neatly placed on the kitchen chair. "Yeah, sorry I never gave that back." I said as I noticed how his eyes fell on the jacket that I had kept.

"I didn't ask for it. No worries."

"I made myself a gin tonic, do you want one?" I was desperate to make this not as uncomfortable as possible.

"No, thank you."

"A beer?"

"No." He was running frustrated, I could tell. "Kim, I want to talk."

"Ok." I walked to the couch and threw myself there, Adam followed after me and sat down. I was dreading this talk, but it had to happen.

"What do you wanna talk about?" Hmmm, I wonder long I could keep playing stupid for?

"Come on, Kim. We need to talk about us. We kissed, we never talked about it and now we're this big load of awkwardness, you don't even want to look at me, which sucks by the way." He started to play with his fingers to avoid looking at me.

Adam was throwing everything at me, I deserved it. But what exactly was he saying? Was he implying that we were in a horrible place because we had kissed?

Thinking about this just made the fear creep back in my head. I wasn't risking my friendship with him over the illusion of something else happening between us.

"I agree, it sucks. Maybe we shouldn't think too much about what happened. I mean it's not like that kiss meant anything." After hearing what I said, his eyes shifted from his hands to my face.

If looks could kill, I would be dead right now.

"Do you really think that?"

No, I don't, no I don't! That's what I wanted to scream to his face right now. I didn't have time to think of a smart reply because he started to speak again. "Because I don't. It did mean something to me, it gave me a whole new perspective on things. I finally understood why it was never going to work out with Wendy, why I never really liked Roman, why I hated to see you with him." He sighed and shot the rest of what he had to say. "I like you, really like you."

Ok, what has just happened? Who cares what happened, Kimberly? It did. And what I needed to do now was to stop overthinking everything, listen to Erin's advice and not miss the chance of being happy.

I couldn't think of anything to say back to Adam, so for once in my life I decided that this time I needed to feel rather than think.

I left my glass on the coffee table and from the corner of my eye I could see how he was judging my every move, but the surprised look on his face told me he hadn't predicted what happened next.

I leant in and trapped his lips with mine, my right hand finally getting a proper grip of his neck. It didn't even take him a second to react to my touch, he wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer to him and his tongue was desperate to feel mine again.

This time I pulled away from the kiss intentionally, I needed to look at him. I stared into his eyes and tried to even out that crazy lock of hair that was falling down his forehead. I took his face between my hands and pressed my lips against his one more time before going back to looking at him straight in the eye.

"Please don't tell me that didn't mean anything either." He rolled his head back as he chuckled lightly.

I lightly punched his shoulder and chuckled too. "Shut up."

I ran my hand from his cheek again to his neck and gently pulled his face closer to mine, I could see that irresistible smirk coming to life on his lips. I closed the gap between us and kissed him again.

His arms were tight around me, I could feel his hands rubbing my back as the kiss got more intense.

There is no way on Earth I'm stopping this now.

I moved my hands and placed them on his broad shoulders trying to get some stability while I was beginning to straddle him as my mouth was still attached to his.

The grip of his hands on my hips was firm and steady but they shyly began to change course trying to reach for my ass and accomplish the task.

My hands slowly shifted to the buttons of his flannel shirt and started to unbutton them. I had to practice a lot of self control not to rip them off, apparently my body didn't have half the issues my brain did when it comes to expressing what I want.

When I finally achieved what seemed like the hardest mission ever, I began to push the flannel lightly over his shoulders.

Adam moved his lips away from mine and started to leave soft pecks along my jawline until he reached my neck, sending shivers down my spine and through my whole body. I think he could sense that, because his lips stayed there, in the crook of my neck, for what seemed like forever, and all I could do was to give in to the bliss of this moment.

One of my hands was tangled in his hair and the other one was running down his chest in the search for the bottom of his t-shirt to pull it over his head. He broke the contact with my skin to help me take the piece of clothing off and throw it somewhere in my living room. He grabbed my neck with passion and pulled me towards him in a bruising kiss.

"Sure you wanna do this?" He whispered against the shell of my ear and a volt of electricity jolted inside me.

I just nodded in reply to his question and began to kiss him again.

His hands went back to my waist, he ran them through my back and up my shoulder blades to push the cardigan out of the way. Slowly he shifted my body so we could both get up from the couch, he lifted me up and I instantly wrapped my legs around him as he walked to my room.

My feet touched the floor but his hands didn't leave my body. He took a hold of my T-shirt and pulled it off me in one quick move. The sudden feeling of his stubble touching the skin in my chest as he delicately kissed me around the rim of my bra was making me lose the little control I had left.

I reached to unbutton his jeans and began to pull them down with clumsiness while his mouth was now attacking my neck with fury. He started to walk towards my bed until I couldn't move any more because the edge was already in full contact with the back of my legs. He carefully laid me down, holding the weight of his body with one hand against the mattress and the other one in the back of my neck as his lips were once more connected to mine.

His kisses began to trail off making a straight line from my lips, down to my chin, neck, the middle of my chest, my stomach and my belly button. The soft caress of his lips against my skin and light touch of his fingertips delicately wandering over my body was driving me crazy. I know he knew that because he must have seen me bite my bottom lip, I also knew that he was having way too much fun torturing me like this.

When he reached the top of my jeans he calmly unbuttoned them and began to pull them off brushing my legs with the feathery touch of his fingers.

If I thought this was killing me, I definitely didn't know what ride I was about to hop on next.

He started to go back up, but this time he decided he was going to leave kisses on the inside of my thighs.

I couldn't hold it anymore and I moaned out his name.

When he finally reached the lacy strap of my underwear he hooked a finger around it and began to pull it down.

I pulled myself to the top of the bed using my forearms, resting my head on my pillow. I could see the fire in his eyes as he followed my lead. He was now over me, but holding all his body weight with his two arms, each one to the side of my head, he dipped down to kiss me and I used the distraction to flip him over and pin him under my body, straddling him one more time.

I grabbed his wrists and firmly held them behind his head as I began to kiss his neck with no mercy. I let go of his wrists as I placed my hands on his chest exploring every inch of his skin that I wasn't familiar with. His hands were now running up and down my back and he quickly took the chance to unhook my bra and remove the last piece of fabric that was on my body. I had to try to do the same with his boxers.

Me being concentrated with the task at hand, made it easy for him to flip me over again. The look in his eyes was telling me so much. It was desire, it was lust, it was tenderness and care. And right there, while I was completely lost in the moment, totally lost in his eyes, that was when he delicately slipped in me.

My fingers were piercing his back as he took one of my legs and lifted it higher to his hip shifting the angle and making this a whole lot more intense as if it was even possible. His steady thrusts began to pick up speed quickly. We both wanted that, we both needed that.

We finally reached the climax together and it felt so fucking good.

Adam pressed his lips against mine before rolling on his back trying to catch his breath.

"Oh. God." Those were the only two words I managed to get out of my mouth with the little air I had in my lungs.

"That was amazing." He was still staring at the ceiling but I saw him throw a glance at me when he pronounced the last word.

I propped myself on my elbows covering me with the bed sheets and looked at him. "I know, right?"

He chuckled. "You seem surprised. Didn't have any faith in me, did you?" His comment made me blush.

"No, I mean… I never thought about us in this situation."

"We'll I must confess that after that kiss that did mean something to me…"

I interrupted him with an embarrassed smirk on my face. "Stop that" I playfully slapped his chest pretending to be angry, the truth was I only wanted to touch him.

"Well, after that, I did kinda hope for us in this situation." of course I blushed again, how could he be so wildly passionate and sweet at the same time? "You're ridiculously cute when you blush, did you know that?" He grabbed the hand that I still had on his chest and pulled me towards him. "Come here, I want to feel you close to me tonight."

I rested my head on his chest and wrapped my arm around his waist as he drew shapes on my back with his finger. "You know, it's probably pointless for me to say this now."

"But?"

"I really like you too."