AN: So here it is. The big reveal. Cats out of the bag. Well Jackie is. Thank you all for your patience in the discovery. I hope to be able to continue to update this story regularly but I'm back in the real world now where I have to be human again so it's probably going to be less frequent.

In the meantime I made this extra long to tide you over.


She watches Elliot take a generous forkful of Jackie's casserole, his jawline flexing as he chews his mouthful. She had seen remnants of her partner returning upstairs but she knows better now, she knows he can turn on her at any moment. Too much has happened for her to see him as an ally. He has secrets he's hiding just like everyone else, the biggest being the blonde sitting across from her at the table.

"How is it?" Elliot asks her, his eyes moving down to her barely touched plate.

Olivia takes a sip of water.

"Good," she responds, her mind more focused on the ticking clock behind Elliot's head than the food in front of her. She just wants this meal over and done with so she can get into town and make that call.

'Got anything Cap?'

"You should eat," Elliot tells her, taking another bite and pointing to her plate. "Refuel yourself."

"I am eating," she snaps back a little too tersely.

A few beats pass before Jackie clears her throat in an effort to ease the tension.

"So Olivia," Jackie speaks with a perfectly strained smile. "Elliot tells me you two worked together back in the day."

Olivia's fork stills against the plate. It's the first time she's been referred to by name. It's also the first time Jackie's made mention to anything beyond medical aid and 'resting up.'

"Well that's funny," Olivia waits a beat, holding Jackie's eye contact. "Because Elliot's told me nothingabout you."

The statement hangs in the air like a stagnant sheet and everyone stills around the table.

"Liv," Elliot warns.

Olivia holds Jackie's gaze intentionally, up until this point she had been civil with Jackie but her patience was wearing thin.

"I think he was just waiting for you to be well rested Olivia," Jackie explains, her words treading carefully but her eyes telling another story.

Olivia takes another measured bite, spicy flavors intermingling with rice starting to ease through her system, lining her stomach, thankful for the relief but less than pleased it had been Jackie who provided it.

Olivia doesn't respond but she doesn't have to. She knows the look Jackie is giving her is familiar because it's the one she has given women who had circled Elliot for years.

She's protective as fuck.

"And what about Elliot.." Olivia shifts gears. "Has he told you he has a family? A wife - kids, a job, a partnerthat he's left behind?" she whispers, her tone laden with accusation on both sides.

"Olivia," Elliot repeats sternly, his hand braced on his thigh.

"I'm clear on Elliot's history," Jackie says without missing a beat.

Olivia's eyes flicker, tension overtaking before she sits back with a scoff.

Elliot drops his fork onto the plate at that point and scrubs a hand over his face.

"Stop okay Liv, Jackie's an old friend," he tells her. "Her brother Nathan and I were in the marines together. Jackie's met Kathy - the kids.." his voice trails off and suddenly he can't look at her when he says it. "She's family," he whispers, the sentiment hitting her harder than she expects. "So can we just stop whatever this is.. whatever it is you're doing."

Olivia's eyebrows raise. She cannot believe his tone and that he is throwing this all back on her.

"Stop what I'mdoing?" she responds with a humorless smile. Her mind still trying to process the pieces he'd haphazardly thrown her way while simultaneously coming up with an appropriate response.

'So you're not fucking her then?'She longs to spit out but instead she opts for something less crass.

"How about youstop Elliot," she whispers. "And explain to me why I can't use a phone or make a goddamned move without yours or Jackie's permission."

Jackie pops another bite of casserole in her mouth and chews slowly watching the interaction play out before her.

Olivia hears Jackie chewing but her eyes never leave Elliot's.

"Jackie," he whispers slowly, his gaze still fixed on Olivia as they continue their standoff. "Can you give us a minute please?"

Jackie finishes her mouthful before she moves into a standing position, her chair careening back with a high-pitched force.

"She doesn't need to leave Elliot," Olivia throws back at him defensively. "I just want answers and I'm done waiting."

But it's too late Jackie's already picking up her plate and walking into the kitchen, closing the door quietly behind her.

Elliot's attention turns back to Olivia, a look of disbelief lining his face.

"Are you serious?" He whispers, his tone a few octaves lower. "You're a guest in her home Olivia." He looks pissed as hell at her little performance. "Are you done?"

"Pretty close," her eyes flit to the exit. "You've got two minutes until I'm walking out that door."

He gives her a long drawn out look as if he is silently debating actually letting her go.

She see's it in his eyes then, if there were sides to this story he'd be taking Jackie's right now. She shakes her head at the realization, tossing down her napkin and pushing her chair backwards with a squeak that rivals Jackie's.

She's done.

She cannot possibly stay in this house a moment longer. She walks to the door at a steady pace, she has no idea where she is going or how she will get there but she isn't stopping.

"Jackie's brother was a federal agent," Elliot calls out just before she makes it to the door.

Olivia stills on her feet, her hand hovering above the doorknob as she waits a few beats.

"After the marines, I went into the academy, Nathan went federal - FBI," Elliot lets out a worn-out breath, as if this story had been circling in his head for years and he was sick to death of telling it. "We'd been in and out of touch over the years but after.." Elliot pauses, a few beats passing before he says it. "Jenna.." he whispers. "I needed something," he lets out a heavy guilt laden breath. "Anythingto take my mind of it.. off it all.."

He's still sitting with this back to her but it's enough to make her move the few paces back towards her chair until she is slowly reclaiming her seat. His words finally starting to reference something tangible, something she can work with.

He waits for her eye contact before he continues.

"He said he needed help with a case," he tells her slowly. "He knew I lived and breathed sex crimes.. that I could help with the victims and that I had the time now. He needed me in there Liv." He tells her, his eyes just begging her to understand. "All of those women needed help." His voice trails off.

Her eyes move downward, watching his fingers tap uneasily against glass.

"After the first couple of months of being under.." he continues, his eyes flitting to the kitchen door as if he were silently hoping Jackie wasn't listening on the other end. "They made Nathan," he whispers, his eyes returning to hers. "Figured out he was a fed." And a few beats pass before he confirms it. "And he was killed on my watch."

Olivia's watches a cloud of sorrow pass through his irises and her heart clenches with unexpected sympathy.

"It wasn't supposed to go down like that." He shakes his head. "None of it was."

Elliot pauses, looking away momentarily before his eyes move back to hers.

"I had to break the news to Jackie myself.. " his voice croaks. "And ever since she's been helping me - transporting the women, getting them to safety. Some she's managed to help from afar with some contacts she has around the state, others she helps directly," the words spill out of him like a weighted confession. "We were just doing what we could to get justice for Nate's death… make it somehow seem worth it."

A serge of relief pours through her veins. "El why didn't you just tell me this?" She shakes her head, her tone calm and softening. "You don't think this information would have been helpful twenty four hours ago? You don't think I would have understood, that I could have helpedin some way, make this whole thing easier on you – on us? If you're keeping our location quiet because of the case, I understand-"

He scrubs a hand down his stubble in frustration, no longer looking at her when he says it.

"Liv," he says with a tone that makes her heart thud with overwhelming trepidation. "That's the thing. There is no case.. there never was."

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"What Nathan was doing… what I was doing. It was a favor Olivia. Not a cover."

Her heart starts to thrum, all the pieces finally and alarmingly falling into place.

"El.." her voice is shaky.

"The Feds dropped the case years ago but Nathan couldn't let it go.. he wouldn'tlet it go. You remember what that's like don't you?" He leans forward intently trying to get her to understand. "You get so wrapped up in a case - the victims, you refuse to let it go. I couldn't let him go in alone." His voice sounds desperate for her to remember and her mind reels back to several cases where Cragen had told them both to drop it and they hadn't.

"By the end of it, he was in there without his badge.. on his own terms."

"And you?" Her voice was low.

He stills, his blue eyes searching hers.

"Do you really think the feds would have touched me after Jenna?" he whispers. "Do you think anyone would?"

It's confirmed for her then. He was never with the FBI. He went in blind, with no badge, no handlers, no rights. He was in there as a citizen - a goddamned vigilantly with guilt laden motivations and an axe to grind.

The room stills before he delivers the final nail.

"Liv, there's a warrant out for my arrest."

The house pulses around them at that point, an awful, debilitating silence enveloping them. All the air is sucked out of Olivia's lungs, the room, her entire world. Her heart is thrumming in her chest, her palms and under arms slick with sweat. Tears prick at her irises as her clammy fingers tremble against the marble table.

He's on the run.

Legitimately.

She shakes her head, liquid starting to pool in the corners of her eyes. The people who lost their lives last night in the crash. The car they stole, the one sitting outside the front of the house. All of it very real. Very tangible. All very illegal. Meaning there is no end to this. No outcome that sees him back in New York, back in his life with his kids or any part of hers for that matter. No shield or captain or precinct to hide behind, no ADA to call in favors.

Just Elliot and Jackie in a secluded cabin in the middle of Ohio.

"Are you kidding me?" she whispers, her voice shaky, anger imbedded deep within her tone. She feels like she's speaking for Kathy here - for his kids, for everything he had thrown away so recklessly. She wants to scream at him until she is blue in the face but she can barely get her vocal chords to cooperate. "So you just threw your life away… just like that," her voice cracks, disbelief lining her irises causing them to fill with an unexpected bout of emotion.

She feels sick, nauseous, uneasy.

"How could you be so.."

"Stupid." He finishes.

"Selfish," she corrects with a horrified stare.

She's speaking for his family but she knows deep down she's really speaking for herself.

His face hardens as he takes her insult.

"I made my bed Olivia," he whispers. "I realize what I've done and believe me I've exhausted all options and this is where we are. The sheets from the motel are in the trunk, I cleaned our DNA off the motel. This afternoon I will drive you into town, then Jackie and I will dump the car tonight. We've got cash, enough to get you back to the city tonight. So you make your phone call, do what you have to do, and you go."

She stares at him long and hard before she starts shaking her head, a tear finally breaking free and falling down her cheek. Her watery eyes remain transfixed on his as she continues to shake her head. She isn't sure what exactly she is resisting, whether it's his confession or his plan - or all of it.

"You should have left long before any of this had to happen Olivia.." he whispers, blame ingrained in his words. "I triedto keep you out of this but you wouldn't listen," he whispers angrily, his voice cracking as he watches the emotion pour out of her, trying his best not to match it. "But you know it as well as I do.. the longer you stay here, you'll only be aiding and abetting."

She pushes back her chair suddenly and stands up, refusing to listen to a second more of this. She turns around, her hands clutching the sink unsure if the bile rising is from his words or the Moroccan curry that's now doing summersaults in her stomach.

"You've got to turn yourself in," she whispers shakily, her fingers pressing into the ride of the sink for stability. She knows it's the only way for this to ever stop.

He stands up, moving over to her side, a few moments of silence passing between them as his eyes settle on her profile.

"I know what you're thinking," he begins, his tone low. "I know where your mind is going. You think you can find a solution here, a deal, a plea. You're already thinking about calling in all the goddamn favors anyone has ever owed you but I need you to listen to me. I don't want any of it okay," he presses. "Too much has happened. I'm in this far too deep. And anything you thinkyou can do for me is only going to make this shit-storm worse, not to mention for you too. Tell meyou get that, tell me you're not going to do anything stupid."

Her eyes are trained on the sink as she breathes through her nose, the sound echoing through the kitchen.

"And what if I turn you in?"

The room slows then. She doesn't know why she said it. Both of them know she won't, but a small part of her aches to test it. To test the boundaries, to see how far gone he is. To see if the monster from the trailer will rear it's ugly head once more when he feels threatened, caged, helpless. She's learnt by now that life picks away at all of us, backs us into corners we never anticipated, turns us into people we never thought we'd become and a sick part of her craves to discover just how much light has been sucked out of him and how much darkness remains.

"At least that way I know you'll be alive," she spits. Her threat had come out harsh, ugly, jagged and hung uneasily between them as she continued to study the sink.

He doesn't bite back, but his voice is low and measured.

"Telling you was a risk Olivia," he warns. "Don't make me regret it."

She feels a slice of threat creep up her spine as she turns to slowly capture his eye contact. And there it is, a flash of the man from the trailer, the iciness in his stare, in his tone, in the fists that are curling underneath him. She's baiting him with her eyes, her words, she knows it, because God knows after that news she can't handle anything other than a fight right now.

His blue irises hold hers for what seems like an eternity.

"I need you to say it.." he tells her firmly. His stare hard, his jawline flexing beneath the tension. "Jackie has my back," he whispers, each syllable deliberatly. "I need to know you do too."

Something flickers in her eyes then and she feels a bout of awareness overtake.

"You aresleeping with her," she whispers in shock, the realization hitting her hard and fast.

Of course he is.

Fugitives out here in the middle of goddamn nowhere with nothing but each other.

Guilt. Anger. Regret. Grief. Hopelessness.

Sleepless nights.

He moves forward, grabbing her cheek firmly, forcing her to look up at him when she says it.

"No,"he presses, his eyes flitting between hers. "I told you Liv, she's family. I'm all she has left. But if she even suspects for a second you're going to do something, she isn't going to take any chances. She's in this just as deep as I am. She has just as much to lose."

His words make her push backward, his hand leaving her with face with the motion, the idea that they are both just as tied up in this as each other makes her furious.

"So what now El, are you two just going to shack up here like Bonnie and Clyde? Live out your days on the run?" She rasps. "That the plan?"

He steps forward again, this time pulling her forward by her bicep until their bodies collide with a light thud.

"Stop," he whispers. His body is close, a breath escaping her from the abrupt motion. He isn't hurting her but he is holding her firmly to keep her in place so he can whisper. "Keep your voice down," his mouth is in her ear, the side of his chest pressed up against her torso as his hand slides up her shoulder blades to keep her in place. "This isn't a joke. You wanted the truth, I gave it to you," he rasps into her ear and her heart thuds at their proximity, shivers running up her spine at his touch. "You don't like it, fine. But don't be stupid Olivia. Don't get yourself killed for this – for me," he presses. "Be smart about it."

She had expected anger, force, rage to emanate out of his fingertips particularly at her threat but the intimate way in which he is holding her has her body softening, weakening, every fibre of her being pulsating in response.

She takes a moment to catch her breath, dormant anger continuing to thread through her veins but it's slowly dissipating beneath his touch.

"I'm going to make that call today," she whispers firmly, still trying to collect her bearings in his hold and gather the strength to get this out in one go.

"But Elliot," she whispers, trepidation pounding through her chest, a wave of nausea induced nerves overtaking as she says it. "I'm not leaving."

TBC


AN: Okay. So thoughts? Who guessed this outcome? Some of you were real close. Happy? Sad? Angry? Want a refund?