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Here's the next chapter.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.

The next couple of weeks flew by and things were good, really good. We've had a couple of complex cases but we were able to close them all.

Adam and I were still in our own little bubble. It was a bit of a challenge to keep things to ourselves, especially hiding it from Lindsay and Atwater, but it was also a bit fun and exciting.

The occasional kissing in the locker room when we were alone, brushing our hands when we were standing close to each other in the bullpen, sitting close together at Molly's trying to rub a leg here and there. All that lack of PDA just led to our perfect nights alone. Almost half of the time we just ended up sleeping together, it was nice coming home to someone, especially if that someone was him.

I knew my happiness bubble was about to pop when I heard Voight's voice.

"Burgess, my office. Close the door and sit down."

Yup. Bubble burst.

I was really trying to pay attention to everything Voight was telling me, but I really didn't know what to do after I heard the first thing he said, after that everything drifted away.

"Take as long as you need to sort this out, and call me if you need anything. Ok?"

"Yes sarge." I stood up to leave and I felt the color fade away from my face and everything was just buzzing around me.

"Are you feeling alright? I'll have Atwater or Ruzek drive you home."

"That won't be necessary." I left Hank's office and walked right through the bullpen, the only stop was to pick up my coat. I felt the stares on me, which could only mean that I wasn't looking all that good. I heard Adam's voice far away, "Kim, what's wrong?" But I didn't answer, I just left.

It took me two days to slowly get back to the real world, and it took that little time only because I had a major wake up call. I had lost count of all my missed calls and unanswered messages. I wasn't in the mood to talk or to explain anything so I just sent a group text to the unit.

I'm fine guys, seriously. Thanks for asking.

Yeah, that was all they got from me, that was all Adam got from me too.

It was close to nine at night when I was getting home, as soon as I took the turn to park my car I saw his truck parked right next to the spot I regularly use.

He got out of his truck even before I killed the engine of mine. There was this strange look on his face that I couldn't really figure out, concern? Anger? Frustration? Whatever it was, I couldn't really blame him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as soon as I stepped out of my car. Sometimes I really am amazed by my crappy choice of words.

"Well, I haven't heard from you in two days, I figured you were either coming to or leaving your apartment at some point."

"How long have you been here for?" The look on his face was hard, but more than that I think he was hurt by my behavior.

"Do you wanna take this to the interrogation room, too?" Yeah, the tone in his voice told me he was pissed. "I'm here because I want to know what's going on, and if I have to wait 3 weeks in my car to see you, then so be it."

I looked down, I could feel my eyes getting watery and there was no chance in hell he was going to see that. "Just go Adam. I'll call you or something."

"No. You're not going to shut me out like this again. I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait outside if I have to, but I'm not leaving."

"Why?" My voice was struggling to be steady and a couple of tears were already rolling down my cheeks. So much for not wanting him to see that.

"Because I'm sick worried about you and I want to help."

"I don't need your help."

"You've made that pretty clear Kim. I know you don't need my help, but that doesn't mean that it isn't ok for you to take it." That was all it took for me to crumble down into pieces. I was crying, ugly crying in the middle of the street. It wasn't until I felt his arms around me that I felt safe again.

"Let's get you inside." I nodded with my head buried in his chest.

I opened the door to my apartment and Adam offered to order some food while I grabbed a shower. I threw on a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt I had laying around. I have no idea why I checked myself in the mirror before leaving the bathroom and joining Ruzek in the living room, the reflection on that piece of glass just confirmed that I looked like crap.

I passed into the living room in complete defeat. "Hey." Adam was sitting on the couch with a bottle of beer in his hand, his head turned slightly as my voice slipped through my lips.

"Did that help a bit?" He asked as he stretched his right hand towards me, I held it and walked around the couch to sit next to him and snuggled close to him.

"Mmm-hmm." I took a deep breath to give me the confidence I needed to continue. "I'm sorry… it's just… I can't…" I couldn't find the words I wanted to say, but apparently the tears found the way back into my eyes in a split second.

"Darlin' what's going on? You know I'm right here for you, right? Whatever it is, you can tell me." His voice was soothing, his hand softly rubbing my back was healing.

"I know, I know you are." I slightly pulled myself away from him so I could look him straight in the eyes. "My dad's in the hospital and he's not doing alright. I hadn't heard anything from him in a while, so that's why I asked Voight to see if maybe I could get a hold

of him. Turns out he had been in an accident like a week ago or something, and I knew nothing about it." I could feel the water in my eyes again. "What does that say about me?"

He placed his hand on my cheek and brushed the tears with his thumb. "It says that you care so much you even had Voight looking for your dad in Chicago."

"You don't get it. I barely talk to him, what if something happens and I've done nothing, nothing."

"Sweetheart, you're doing everything you can."

"Only because he's fucking dying on that stupid hospital bed." This time it was my own hands wiping the tears off my face, I didn't even give Adam the chance to try. I didn't deserve that.

"Don't you think there might be a reason why you are not so in touch with him?"

I closed my eyes and nodded in reply. "He was never a bad father, you know? When my parents split up, I was 7 and Nicole was 10, I remember mom sitting us down on the couch and explaining what was happening, she said 'Nothing will change for either of you. We still love you so much and will be there for you every step of the way.' I know she meant it, and that's how it was on her end. But dad? He wasn't really there for us, especially for me, but how was mom supposed to know that?

He was never really around after he left, so I learned how to take care of myself and do many things on my own.

Nothing I did was ever enough for him; when I was a flight attendant it was because I was too shallow and then when I decided to join the academy and do something that actually matters, he said I was too weak for that, he literally thought I was never gonna make it. He even mentioned something about how no guy was ever going to look at a female cop, because they ended up being too manly." I blurted all of this information out and he just listened attentively to every word that came out of my mouth, while gently rubbing my knuckles.

"I'm very sorry that's how it was for you, but in that case don't be this hard on yourself. It's ok for you to be hurting too. You were just a little girl who needed her father, his support, his love."

"But I should be able to put that behind me now."

"You will. Maybe everything that is happening now helps you do that." He wrapped me around his arms and pulled me towards his body. "And for the record, you're the hottest female cop I've seen. Nothing manly about you. Maybe I can tell him that when he wakes up." I chuckled right before he cupped my face and pressed his lips against mine. "That's the smile I wanted to see." He kissed me one more time and pulled me close to him once again. This time he kissed the top of my head and didn't let go of me. Is it possible to feel at home just by being wrapped in someone's arms? "Just don't shut me out like that again, ok? You can talk to me, I'll always listen." The sound of his voice was muffled against my hair, but I was able to make out every word that he was saying.

"I guess I didn't want you to see that messed up side of me. To see how weak I really am."

"What?" His voice sounded confused as hell now and I felt how his body slowly shifted away from mine. He reached for my face and looked straight into my eyes. "Look at me and listen very carefully. There are so many words that I could use to describe you, but weak? Weak is not one of them. I see how you work every day, I know what you deal with professionally and and personally. There's nothing weak about you, Kim Burgess." He stopped for a second to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. "You are kind, caring, you see the good in everything and everyone, you're passionate, you feel things so deeply." He kissed my forehead. "And yes, we are all a little vulnerable but that doesn't mean we are weak." Suddenly I felt his warm breath against my ear. "And being completely honest, it is during those moments, when you open up and let me see you exactly how you really are, that I see the most beautiful version of you."

"What alternate universe do you come from, Adam Ruzek?" We both smiled right before I pecked my lips against his. As I took a deep breath I spoke. "It's just kind of hard for me. I never had this."

"What do you mean? You've never had a hot boyfriend before?" I slapped his arm playfully and laughed.

"That, actually I have had." The completely childish look of disappointment in his face made me smile. "I've been taking care of myself for a while now, I just had to learn to do that, I guess it's because I never felt I deserved that kind of support. I mean, how could I? Not even my dad thought I was worth the trouble." I ran my hand through my face trying to channel the frustration, but now I know that I was also hiding. "I'm so embarrassed to say this, but… I think that in every relationship I've been in, I felt like they were doing me

a favor by agreeing to be with me. I guess that's the real reason why Sean cheating on me tore me apart, although I was already having doubts regarding my feelings." Adam was holding my hands, I could feel his thumbs gently rubbing my knuckles. He wouldn't say anything, but I know he was taking in every word that I was saying. "Maybe I'm just afraid that if I ask for help, that if I actually show that I need something, I will be ignored, so I just save myself the heartache of having to go through that."

I was surprised I managed to blurt all of that out. This was a first, never have I shared my feelings like this with anyone. Never have I shown myself to be so vulnerable, especially in front of a guy. Did this mean that things with Adam really were different?

"I'm sorry. That was a lot of information thrown at you at once. I feel bad I dragged you into this mess and I'm sorry I wasn't this honest with you from the beginning. Don't feel like you can't walk away from this anytime you want just because I have daddy issues." I laughed nervously trying to hide all the pain and fear I was feeling.

"I don't really know what to say."

Yeah, definitely not how I wanted him to start.

"I will begin by telling you that you don't need to apologize for anything, especially for your feelings. I just… gosh" He ran his hand through his hair in total frustration, he was almost pulling the hair away from his skull. "I feel like punching everything single dick head who made you feel like that, like they were doing you a favor. That's fucking crazy, baby." He cupped my face and I could feel his thumbs up and down my cheeks now. "Truth is, you did them the favor. They'll never have nor deserve another girl like you. You know? Everytime I come here or you go to my place, everytime we cuddle, everytime we kiss, everytime I hold you close to me, everytime I see you sound asleep right after we have sex, I wonder how in the hell did I get so lucky? Darlin' you are definitely worth the trouble, you are worth it so much that it's no trouble at all and I swear that I mean every single word that's coming out of your mouth. I am here for you now, and I will be here for you whenever you need me. I don't care if you shut me out, I'm not going anywhere, I'm just not." He closed the distance between us and press his lips against mine with so much force and tenderness that left me speechless.

The trembling in my voice and the tears rolling down my face were starting to annoy the crap out of me, but I realized that I had no control over them whatsoever. "I'm scared that I will just end up pushing you away. I don't know how to do this."

"Then let me help you. Let me look out for you and take care of you. I want to do it." He leaned in to kiss me and was interrupted by the sound of the door bell. "For example now, you're gonna stay here and I'm going to get the door and bring us some food." I smiled and instantly felt his lips on mine.

He closed the door and left the pizza box on the kitchen counter. "There's just one thing running circles inside my head still."

"What's that?"

"Of all those hot boyfriends you've had, I'm the hottest, right?" His question made me burst into laughter, I could see him laughing too.

"Oh, definitely." I look at him from head to toe, totally checking him out. "And the best lover, too." I finished the statement with a wink.

"I can show you more of those skills later tonight."

"I'd like that."

I watched as he moved around my place gathering everything we were going to need for dinner and all I can think about are the words he used and how special he made me feel, and for the first time in forever I feel honesty and trust. He said something about being lucky to be with me, but the truth is I am the lucky one.

"Hey, Adam…" I needed to tell him exactly how I felt right now.

"Mm-hmm"

"Thank you"

Well, I guess thank you was good enough for now.

We had dinner, he slept over and I just felt safe and knew everything was going to be alright. I started to think that those days of feeling worthless were over, not only because of him but also because I started to set the necessary boundaries to value myself. Maybe Ruzek was the reward for finally standing up for myself, what I really deserved, what was meant to be. God, I hope so.

The next few days were pretty relaxed. I was feeling much better, only because I allowed myself to receive help and support from my intelligence family. Hank didn't let me return until things with my dad started to settle and everyone was constantly checking up on me and dropping by my place or the hospital.

Dad's stats had picked up and recently he woke up, we didn't talk much, it wasn't the right time, but I did tell him that we needed a chat when he got out of the hospital.

Ruzek and I were doing pretty great actually, at this point it was a bit stupid to keep things a secret but it had become a habit and to be honest, sometimes it was hot and sexy to be sneaking around. Especially the time we managed to get a quickie in the locker room, gosh even the thought of it gets me all worked up again.

We managed to make it through Christmas without seeing each other. It was way too complicated, I was staying at Nicole's like every year and Adam had this big family gathering which was impossible to get away from and I guess it was ok, I mean I missed him like hell but it was nice to feel how important he really was to me.

Now, New Year's Eve… that was a whole other topic.