AN: Thank you for your kind words. And sorry for the shit stirring.
Olivia blinks under the downpour, allowing every square inch of her body to soak under the spray, her hands hold the tiled wall for support as bus grime, muscular tension and dry tears disappear down the drain beneath her feet.
She waits to breakdown.
She waits for the tears to spill openly.
She waits to slide down into a crumpled heap on the floor.
She waits to feel something.
Anything.
Nothing.
Funny that.
It's the first time she's truly been alone, free to scream to the Goddamn heavens if she so chooses to and yet all she feels is weight. A tangible mass that starts at the top of her breastbone and ends at her solar plexus. A heaviness that locks her in, traps her in place and she simply stands there, sedately silent, blinking under the spray as if the past 72 hours hadn't occurred.
She thinks about Elliot.
She thinks about the hug.
She expects to at least feel a sense of regret at showing her weakness, but she knows in the coming days when they eventually part ways it will be the last real memory she has of him.
And it sure beats his ghost.
She switches off the water.
She had been in the shower for a good while and there was a chance he was knocking on the motel room door, waiting for her to unlock the latch.
When she hears nothing but outside traffic filtering through the thin walls she steps out of the shower and grasps a thread-bear towel off the shelf.
She catches herself in the mirror, her pale complexion flushed from the heat while dark circles verandah her eyes. She traces the marks on her throat from Elliot, running her fingers down the raised flesh, goosebumps breaking out across her skin at the memory. She shivers before she lets her eyes trail lower, taking in the burns on her breasts - the ones from Lewis, just below Elliot's markings.
She looks away.
The tightness in her chest overtaking as she presses her eyes closed, trying to dispel the entangled images. Her shaking hands reach for her clothing as emotions from the duel memories hit her full force. She hurriedly gets dressed, putting on the same bra but a clean shirt she had grabbed from Elliot's new pack. She slips it over her head but realizes it's one of those men's gym tanks that dip low in the front and falls well beneath her under arms.
She turns in the mirror, catching the side of her bra, now visible through the shirt. She contemplates putting the soiled t-shirt back on from the bus trip but she can't handle wearing something dirty to sleep. She also can't bear putting the same underwear on at this point so she slips his sweat pants over her naked lower half and bunches her panties under the spray of the tap.
She soaps them with the bar from the sink until she's rinsing them clean, twisting them out and hanging them up on the shower rail with her good arm, knowing she'll be thankful to have clean underwear tomorrow.
That's when she hears it.
A sound.
She stills in place, trying to figure out if Elliot was back and if so how he got in with the bolt shut. She takes one last look at herself in the mirror, tugging the front of his tank up her chest before it irritatingly falls back down. She sighs, moving towards the bathroom door and twisting the handle hesitantly, half expecting him to be sitting on the bed staring back at her.
All she finds is an empty room.
She looks around in confusion as she steps out, the air around her deathly quiet as she pads towards the door. She checks the bolt is still latched before she looks through the peephole but is faced with nothing but street lamps and darkness. The sun had only just set when she entered the bathroom so she knows Elliot can't be far off.
She makes her way over to the beds, choosing the furthest one away from the front door and she looks around the room one final time before she slips beneath the sheets. She turns onto her good side, wincing at the tug of her sore shoulder as she tries to get into a comfortable position. She draws the covers up her chest as her eyes rest on the motel room window.
She watches the curtains dance slowly before her and her tummy rumbles unexpectedly beneath the sheets.
She'll just close her eyes for a bit, she thinks, because Elliot will be back any minute.
Any minute, she thinks.
TBC
