AN: Wow, thank you so much for your reviews! I really do appreciate the detail you all leave of what you feel, want to see and how it affects you, some reviews have even reminded me of things that need attention and others have actually altered the direction I take the fic in so thank you, they are truly a motivating force and really spur me on to write more. I hope you enjoy this chapter I've been waiting so long to get us to this point but probably not as long as you guys have all been waiting to read it haha.
Olivia brushes her teeth with the newly bristled toothbrush, thankful for the opportunity to remove the gunk from the past couple of days with more than her finger and Jackie's toothpaste. She starts to scrub her tongue for good measure before she is filling her mouth with water and swilling it around, wanting to rid the taste of the past few days completely.
She spits the remainder of toothpaste into the sink, bending purposefully over, her eyes taking in her cleavage in the reflection, trying to gauge just how much he would have seen. She moves closer to the mirror, to get the perspective of his view, her finger brushing over the burn he had felt trying to ascertain if it was obvious to the touch.
When her eyes lift back up to hers, she has her answer.
It wasn't just a few bruises and nicks, it was a purposeful, circular burn.
Multiple.
She knows Elliot would have registered what it was, there would have been no chance of mistaking it given their line of work.
It was a cigarette burn.
Clear as day.
She takes a step back feeling a wave of uneasiness hit at the concept. She catches sight of her black panties still hanging from the shower rod in the process and she stares at them for a few moments. She knows he would have seen them when he came in here and a pang of uneasiness hits. Her eyes move back to her reflection, suddenly feeling starved for privacy, desperately seeking solitude, just needing to get through the next 48 hours with out a full blown breakdown.
She had seen the look in his eyes.
She can't seem to escape this.
She can't escape him.
She recognises the anxiety beginning to bubble in her chest and tries to settle her nerves, flexing her fingers outward and into fists before she attempts to shake off the excess energy, a technique she learnt in therapy. She knows she's already been in here for far too long so after a few deep breaths she finally gathers enough strength to open the bathroom door and walk back into the unknown.
She emerges from the ensuite to find him propped up against the headboard of his bed.
She notices the main lights have been dimmed and it's only the bedside lamp illuminating the room now. She walks past him on her pursuit to her bed, silently thankful for the obscurity of darkness but the relief doesn't last long.
"Liv."
She stops short, their eyes meeting through the darkness and her stomach braces.
A few beats pass before her eyes drop down to the opened styrofoam container on his lap before they move back up to his. She watches lights from the muted TV dance across his face and she can feel it, he's about to say something but he must have gauged her body language or the look in her eyes because something within him shifts.
"Can you throw me the medical pack please?"
She continues to stare at him as he takes a bite of his dinner, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion when she sees him eating a club sandwich.
It's 10pm..
She takes the few steps towards the table, picking up the pack and tossing it to him as he catches it one handed.
"Thanks."
"Did I miss a spot?" She asks concerned.
He looks up at her and he gives her a half smile.
"No." He whispers. "Can you bring your sandwich over here too please?"
She does a double take at that one, looking over at the lone takeaway container before she collects it and slowly walks it over to his bedside.
She holds it out to him curiously.
"You gonna eat mine too?" She asks with a look, thankful for the distraction from their earlier subject.
He doesn't take it, just motions to the space in front of him as he pulls out a tube of cream from the pack.
"Sit." He tells her. "Eat." He whispers.
Her eyes fall down to the icy hot cream, her stomach beginning to spiral once more.
"I ah.. I just brushed my teeth."
He doesn't respond, just picks up his sandwich with his free hand and takes a bite.
"And my shoulder's fine El." She lies.
"It's swollen Liv," he says through a mouthful. "I saw you today, you've spent the whole day keeping your weight off it. This will help you sleep."
He pauses before something ticks over in his mind.
"When was the last time you had painkillers?"
"I don't know." She tries to recall. "The bus maybe." But she soon realises she never had the chance at the bus station.
"This morning," she corrects herself. "Back at the house."
"You're supposed to take them every 4 to 6 hours" He tells her. "It will reduce the swelling and the pain."
He tosses her the bottle of ibuprofen and she catches it just in time.
"Did you get you medical license while you were away?" She repeats jokingly.
He doesn't respond to her humour, just continues to chew on his mouthful before he takes another bite.
"You're not going to shower?" She asks curiously, noticing he's changed into sweat pants that look identical to hers.
He motions down to the bandage on his stomach. "And ruin your handy work?"
He is just waiting now, icy hot still in his hand as he continues to eat.
It's obvious she's the one stalling, but she's still stuck on the sweatpants, she knows him well enough to know he sleeps in briefs and she wonders if he's covering up for her benefit. He sees her looking at his pants.
"Why do you want me to shower Liv?" He sighs. "Are you planning on going through my stuff again?"
The air between them stills.
She watches him take another measured bite of his sandwich before her eyes fall down to the wallet and phone still resting by his feet.
"I called her Olivia…" he explains, to her bowed head. "To tell her we've been made. The cabin wasn't safe anymore, I figured splitting up would be best for us all," he waits until he gains her eye contact before he finishes. "Wouldn't you agree?"
She can tell he is watching the information register on her face, particularly the last part, but the hint of accusation in his tone hadn't escaped her. She feels a wave of guilt hit at her lack of trust in him but it was Elliot's evasiveness that had caused her to question him in the first place.
She recalls the text messages from Jackie.
Is it done?
Her eyes slowly move between his, not sure she is ready to open this can of worms but feeling a sudden push to say it.
"So is it done?" She whispers slowly.
It's his turn to stay silent.
"Getting me on that bus?" She whispers, trying to keep her tone level headed and non-accusatory. "I assume that was your job.. so did you get it done El?"
She knows she's being extremely passive aggressive and he just stares at her as tension moves between them like a tangible mass.
"You're clearly not on the bus Olivia." He says sternly without breaking eye contact. "So why don't you ask me the real question?"
She knows anything she could ask right now will only make her look petty and argumentative so she turns away with a sigh, ready to drop this before it's even began.
He doesn't let her.
"Jackie.. like me," he says to her back, "agreed that it was too risky for you to stay at the cabin. You needed to make that call to the precinct Olivia, that's what you kept telling me. We couldn't let you do it from a bus station in Ohio.. so that is why we're here."
We.
She turns around at that point and he pauses.
"You're right," she shakes her head, a sudden bout of rationalisation taking over. "And in a couple of days, none of this will matter, so whatever you two have cooked up is really none of my business is it?"
Annoyance masks his face as he drops his sandwich down in it's container.
"This isn't a conspiracy Olivia. I'm not hiding anything. Ask me what you want to ask.. and I'll answer."
She drags the comforter down at that point, ignoring him completely but it seems he isn't going to let it rest. She hears the bed creek behind her before she senses movement and when she turns around he is a step away from her.
"Ask me if I'm sleeping with my best friends wife again?" He whispers, his eyes moving back and forth between hers.
Her chest pounds at being put on the spot like this, feeling somewhat cornered between him and the bed.
"The answers still going to be the same." He tells her.
Her heart is thrumming.
"This is about survival Olivia," he whispers. "Nothing more. We're all just trying to get through this and the sooner you realise that, the easier this is going to be for everyone."
A few moments pass between them, there is still so much unspoken but there is something about the look he is giving her that causes her defences to soften.
He holds out the opened water to her then, that's when she realises she's still clutching the pill bottle in her hand and was probably the real reason he got up.
"Take the drugs Liv," he whispers. "Eat some food and either put this on your shoulder…" he lifts the icy hot up to her view. "Or let me do it."
She takes the water from his hands, their fingers brushing briefly as she watches him intently, his sudden honesty and no-nonsense attitude disarming her, she hadn't intended on going there with Jackie but a part of her was glad that he did. She twists the cap off the pill bottle, downing a couple, before chasing it with a drag of water and when she sets the bottle down her eyes fall to the cream in his hand. She takes a step around him then, hesitating only momentarily before she is moving towards the opened sandwich box on his bed. She slides it towards her, taking a bite of his half eaten sandwich and sitting down in the place he had indicated earlier.
A few moments pass before her eyes lift up to his.
He makes his way towards her then, showing similar hesitation as he moves behind her. He takes a seat, allowing one leg to slip around her body and splaying out on the bed while the other he leaves hanging off the side.
He leans up against the headboard, cream still in hand.
"Do you want to eat first ..before the cream?" He asks to her back.
She shuffles backwards in the space provided, effectively giving him her answer as she eliminates the majority of space between them.
"You got a hair tie?" She hears him ask and he's close now.
Real close.
"No," she says quietly and it isn't long before his hands are in her hair, gathering the strands, a shiver running down her spine as he draws it to one side.
He tries a couple of times but her hair is too short and refuses to stay put without some aid. She moves her good arm upward to help him, capturing the strands as she provides access to her shoulder. She hears the cap go and he is squeezing cream into his palm before the cold liquid hits her skin. He's gentle at first as he lathers the cream clinically across the joint, not limiting himself to her upper arm but spanning the ridge of the shoulder and up the side of her neck before he starts to deepen the rub. He is slow, meticulous and painfully quiet behind her and she feels her body rocking slightly beneath his motions, as ripples of relief begin to flood through her muscles as he presses his thumbs inward.
She hadn't expected this.
His touch.
Gentle yet firm.
Attentive.
She tries not to focus on the feel, the sounds, the way his thumb presses intimately into a sensitive spot just below her neck, causing ripples of relief to run down her spine but her mouth is parting, her breathing starting to waver as she tries to remain as still as possible.
"Tell me if it's too much." He says, pressing a little more firmly into a tight bundle of nerves that causes welcome relief and it isn't long before she hears the cap go again and that's when he is drawing her arm holding her hair gently downward. He motions her head forward before he lathers cream on her opposing shoulder, careful to avoid the majority of her hair in the process.
"That side's fine El." She whispers, her voice waning beneath the feel of his hands.
"You've redirected all your weight to this side." He explains. "Both sides are effected - all these muscles have seized here." He runs a finger across the long line of her left shoulder blade indicating the problem area and she shivers. "It's no wonder you're in pain. "
She's about to respond when he starts to massage both shoulders simultaneously, his thumbs pressing inward and all protests leave her body. Her eyes slip to a close as a flood of pleasure filled relief moves through her shoulders. Her whole body is rocking against his touch as he kneads the tension from her muscles.
"El," she whispers. "What are you doing?"
This was more than just lathering cream.
"Getting the knots out so you can sleep." He explains as he continues to press his thumbs inward.
"Pressure okay?"
She pauses a beat.
"Yeah," she manages as she tries to stop herself from sinking back into her hands with each stroke.
"When you get to the city, you really need to get this checked out."
He is close now, so close his low tone is reverberating in her ears.
She doesn't open her eyes.
She doesn't respond to what he's saying.
She doesn't want to think about the city right now.
She falls into his movements before she feels him shift his attention upwards as he starts to massage the back of her neck. Two thumbs slide up the column, applying pressure to the juncture of her nape, gently at first, doing his best to ease the tension before he deepens it.
"Jesus, this is even worse Liv," he whispers as his fingers inadvertently brush her throat.
She doesn't respond, just allows him to smooth out the tension, a mixture of pleasure and ache coursing through her muscles by the second. He starts to move back down her back, over the ridge of her shoulder blades, pressing into the top of her spine, moving lower, lower, until he hits a particularly tense part of her body just above her bra clasp. She bucks a little in response, his thumbs applying pressure to the knot there.
"I know it hurts, I've just have to-"
"Ugh." Olivia lets out, realizing this is where most of her tension had been sitting. "Jesus," she breathes out.
Right there. She thinks.
He pushes harder then and it's painful and pleasurable at the same time, her eyes slipping open, a pang of heat flooding through her body.
"You need to relax," he whispers as he tries to kneed the tension out.
She swallows.
"I am relaxing," she says through gritted teeth.
He chuckles at her absurdity, continuing to press against the stubborn bundle of muscles before he momentarily detours, moving down her lower back. His fingers catch on the side of her tank, hitting skin and lace and she feels a rush of heat flood through her. Fuck.
He reaches her hip bones and presses his thumbs at the base of her spine, her nipples hardening in response and she bites down on her lip.
She hasn't been touched like this in years.
"That's not my shoulders El.." Her throat catches.
A few beats pass as her eyes slip open at his silence.
"I know," he explains. "It's all connected. Trust me."
She thinks about stopping him, cutting this short but his hands are so welcomely easing the tension out of her body she cannot possibly end this just yet.
As he continues pushing inward her chest involuntarily arches in response, the crown of her head knocking his chin and she can feel the heat of his breath coming out in short bursts.
She's turned on.
Jesus.
She hadn't expected this.
Not here, not tonight.
Not after everything.
He was just easing the tension from her muscles, he wasn't being particularly sensual with her, if anything he was doing his best to remain clinical.
And yet in a matter of seconds her body was on fire.
He moves his hands slowly back up her spine, stopping once more at the tension filled spot above her bra clasp, moving her forward pushing inward, trying a second time to break it up. His fingers incidentally scrape lace once more, a sound leaving her mouth that's part moan.
Right there. She wants to say.
Harder.
She bows her head forward, remaining silent, hoping her body language will speak for itself as he continues to run his thumbs over the spot again and again, deepening the pressure. Her nipples are now painfully erect against lace as he digs in and she sinks further back in his hold, not realising there is very little space between them now. She feels his chest against her back, his crotch against her backside as a mixture of ache and pleasure rocks through her.
"Liv," she feels his breath on her neck and her eyes slip open.
It feels like a warning but she can't be sure.
Her mouth is painfully dry.
"Yeah," she tries, her voice breaking, her heart hammering in her chest at what he will say.
"I'm gonna, move your arm behind your back okay?" He informs her and then he is clutching her good arm, moving it behind her at a right angle before he's using his other arm to bring her right up against his chest. She hears a satisfying crack move through her body from the unexpected motion and she lets out a relief filled breath.
Jesus Christ.
He begins to do the same with her other arm, far more gentle with it this time given it's her sore shoulder and she waits a few beats before the second crack ripples through her body.
"How do you know how to do this?" She whispers, her breath wavering with undertones of concern.
He takes both arms then, moving both behind her back at right angles until he has them pinned between his chest and her back. He then brings his hand around to her front, until his arms are covering her shoulders in the form of an X.
"I took a class in college," he explains. "Now on the count of three, breathe out okay. All the way."
He had given her instructions but all she can concentrate on is the way his forearms are pressing against lace as he has her pinned against him. Her heart thuds at their positioning, she expects to feel fear, panic, alarm at the way he is trapping her. She expects to want to launch back in defence but none of those reflexes come to the forefront.
"1…"
He whispers.
"2.."
She sucks in a breath.
"3."
She lets out her breath as he squeezes her body tightly against him, a final crack moving up through her spine and coursing through her body causing her mouth to part in shock. He releases her after a few beats and she sits there blindsided, relief spilling through her limbs as he slowly unravels her arms and lets them gently fall back down to her side. A few beats pass as her mind swarms, her chest pounds and her panty-less lower half throbs beneath her sweats.
"Turn around."
Her mouth runs dry.
She slowly turns, her face most likely flushed from his touch as she faces him. Her breathing is hitched, her eyes must look glassy as they do their best to avoid his.
His hands come up as he starts to massage her from front on, his fingers sinking into the tense muscles of her shoulders before he moves down to her collarbones. She watches him curiously as he continues to work her muscles before his hands are moving higher, smoothing up the tight strain in her neck, exploring, tilting her head back and gently around, trying to loosen her muscles from all angles until his fingers are cupping her jawline.
He is close now, incredibly close, her chest is rising and falling as he starts to ease the muscles of her jawline.
Her eyes slip down to his parted lips and she suddenly loses all sensibility, leaning forward and sealing his lips with hers. She holds him for a few beats as he stills against her in surprise, her mouth lightly tugging on his lower lip before she releases it. She waits a few moments hovering mid air. She doesn't know why she pauses, maybe she's waiting for permission, maybe she's waiting for confirmation but when she catches a hint of nervousness in his eyes, she moves forward once more, pressing her open mouth intimately against his.
He drops his hands from her face and she tilts his head, drawing his lower lip into her mouth and sucking. He moans quietly against her and when she parts his lips once more she slides her tongue determinedly between his lips. It incites a second moan from him, his hand raking through the back of her hair, as he gently nips her lower lip in response. She wants to groan, her body aching to get closer and before she knows it he is sliding his tongue into her mouth, swiping the tip against hers. She practically whimpers, a pang of heat rushing between her legs as she releases his mouth with a moan, feeling the unmistakable awareness of her panty-less form beneath his sweats.
He pulls back, only slightly, their foreheads knocking as she tries to reconnect their mouths, her lips brushing his lightly but he is keeping her at bay.
She stares into his eyes as he cups her cheeks, her heart racing at what he is going to say.
She blinks a couple of times, her eyes moving in between his as he licks his rosy lips.
"I think we should," he whispers as she continues to stare at him. "Use our words."
He lets the statement fall between them but she doesn't let it linger, words have never done them any favours so she moves forward once more trying to reconnect their mouths.
"No."
"Liv," he whispers against her mouth, dodging her advances. "I want to talk about the trailer."
She blinks against his statement.
"Elliot," her voice is low.
She can't do this.
She cannot picture the trailer, not when her body is currently flaming from his touch, his hands - his mouth.
"Are we ever going to talk about it Olivia?" He swallows. "Because it happened.."
She closes her eyes.
"Elliot." She tries again.
"I was beyond out of line...I panicked, but that wasn't me." His thumb strokes her cheek briefly before he continues. "Tell me you understand that much."
She opens her eyes once more and stares at him.
"I do," she whispers.
"Do you?" He says with a look. "Because I'm not sure you did at the time."
She moves completely back then, his hands falling away from her cheeks, their mouths no longer inches away.
"Please can we not do this..here.. now." She indicates their positioning.
"When would you like to do this then Liv?" He responds. "Because our time is kind of limited.."
She blinks at the concept of their time ending.
She doesn't know what to say to that.
She doesn't know what he wants to hear.
She wouldn't know where to begin even if she tried.
She lets out a tired breath.
"What do you want me to say?" She whispers. "You were unrecognisable in that trailer Elliot."
She knows what she's doing, she's trying to move the focus off her response and onto his actions so he closes up and drops this entirely.
He studies her carefully, a wave of trepidation flowing through his eyes before he says it.
"I know," he gives her. "But so were you.."
Her eyes widen at that, disbelief lining her features at his bluntness.
Her body aches to stand up and move away from him but she's frozen in place, she bites down into her lower lip as she tries not to lose it in front of him.
"Just talk to me," he whispers. "That's all you have to do."
That's when she feels his fingers move over the burn on her breast once more and she whacks his hand clean away without missing a beat.
"Don't." She spits and that does it, she starts to stand up then, an irrational fear flooding through her at the thought that he is going to grab her - stop her, force her into a conversation she's nowhere near ready to have.
But he doesn't.
He just allows her to get up, her shaky hands moving her into a standing position before she comes to a stop a few feet away from his bed.
She just looks at him.
"I can't okay..." she fumbles. "I can't do this.. with you..here... tonight."
"Okay." He whispers, seeing the look of urgency on her face.
"It's too much."
"Okay." He agrees.
"I think we both just need sleep." She whispers.
He nods.
And with that, she is slowly making her way to her bed, shutting the light off between them and moving protectively under the covers.
TBC
