Hey guys!
How are you all after yesterday's episode? I really hope they don't break their hearts and our hearts. Just let them be a family with Mak. Loved Dad Adam, isn't he the best? Gosh I'm in love.
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Hope you enjoy this chapter, and let's hope for the best regarding the show.
Happy reading!
Xoxo
Nina
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.
My breathing was finally evening out and Adam's chest rising and falling was picking up its normal motion. Our bodies were tied into one big knot, one of my legs between his, my head rested on his chest while my hand slowly travelled up and down his stomach. He had me enveloped in his arms and I could feel how his fingers were tracing random shapes on my back.
"I'm sorry." He finally broke the pleasant silence. "I'm very sorry you felt like it didn't believe in you, because I do. I truly do. I mean, I trust you with my life everyday we go out on the field, I know the amazing cop you are. It was just very hard for me to have to put you through that and I wanted to say something but I didn't know exactly what, given the fact that Voight has no idea about us and the guys know that we're sleeping together but they have no idea how intense, deep and important this is to me. I should have chosen better words to explain what was going through my head." He dropped a soft kiss on the top of my head.
"It's ok, apology accepted." I lightly kissed his rib cage. "And I'm sorry for pushing you away" I paused for a bit and added one more word in complete defeat "Again."
He took my left hand with his right one and entwined our fingers together as he slowly twisted them from side to side. I knew he was only looking at our hands moving and thinking about what he wanted to say.
"I thought that maybe you felt as if I was smothering you or something, that we really were in different places, that I was kinda forcing where our relationship was going. So, when you asked me to leave you alone, even though I hated it; I decided to give you the space you were asking for."
"Adam, that's insane. I do not feel that at all." I looked at him over the top of my eyes only to find him staring at me already. "And you never forced anything to go anywhere, if anything I was the one setting the pace to this." I looked down again and grasped tighter into his fingers. "You were right."
"About what?"
"My reaction. It had to do with my childhood wounds and my past experiences, it didn't have to do with us. And you can rest assured that if I ever need a breather, I will let you know."
"Most importantly Kim, I need you to know that I've got you and I believe in you and I want you to let me know if I ever slack off on that." My lips involuntarily curled up to hearing him say that. "I want to be the man who is there for you, who you feel confident and protected with."
"Baby," I looked at him before I continued speaking. I needed him to know I was being one hundred percent honest. "You are that man."
"I'm very, very glad to hear that." The grin on his face as he said that completely melted my heart.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"When we were at the bullpen and you said something about me not getting it, what were you talking about?" He let out a soft chuckle.
"That really stuck with you, didn't it?"
"Yeah, I want to know what you meant."
"Ok, this is the thing. You don't know what it's like for me when you're out there. I know you've done it before and I know you can hold up on your own, but I worry, I get scared. It kind of hits a little differently now." I propped myself on my forearm to look at him in the eyes.
"Why wouldn't I get that?" He just shrugged. "Do you think I don't worry about you? I freak out when I hear you calling shots fired over the radio when you're out with Kev, or with anyone for that matter and I'm not there to see that you're ok. The last time you guys were in a shootout and I wasn't there, I got sick to my stomach. Like, literally. I ended up puking in the bathroom."
"Babe, I didn't know that." He cupped my face with one of his hands and kissed me lightly.
"The point is, I get scared too. But these are our jobs, we love them and we knew that when we decided to do this. It's tough, I'm aware of that and I know both of us would do anything in our power to protect each other;
I mean do you really think I wouldn't be willing to go around an op or Voight's orders to make sure you're safe? But there's other people in the team too, we can't afford to think like that."
"What are you saying?" His voice was full of worry. "Are you suggesting we put an end to this?"
"What?" My brows furrowed at the same time my nose scrunched up. "No!" Was this man delusional? There was no way I was walking away from this kind of love. Not now, not ever.
Then it hit me. Was he considering that option? "Unless that's what you want…" I was thinking out loud at this point. "Is that what you want?" I cocked my face to one side as I asked in total bewilderment.
"Kim? Really? Look at us right now." He moved his index finger around signaling our current position. "Do you think I would want to put an end to this? Hell no."
"Well, you can't blame a girl for asking." He grabbed my face by the chin with one hand, touching a cheek with his thumb and the other with his four remaining fingers as he pressed his lips against mine.
"Ok, so now that we know that that's not an option. Do you have any thoughts on how you want to go about it?"
I nodded. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"I'm all ears."
"I think we can go tomorrow to work and talk to Voight and make this whole thing HR official." He seemed a little confused, his eyes were widening a bit and I couldn't really tell whether he was surprised or shocked, which only made me more nervous than what I was to begin with. "Like… you know… those forms the district needs us to fill out." Hearing my own stuttering at the beginning of the sentence was shameful. "But whatever, it's a crazy idea. We can think of something else."
"No, we won't." His eyes had a little spark to them now and a cute little smile began to creep into his face. "I don't think it's a crazy idea at all. I'm totally down for that."
"Yeah?"
"Of course. Are you sure you're ready, though? It's kind of an important step."
"Well, yeah. I know I wanna be with you and it's not like my feelings are going to dissolve into thin air, so I might as well own it."
"Let's own it then." His cute smile quickly evolved into a full on grin and his lips caught mine in an intense and amazing kiss. I straddled him in one quick move, making the sheet that was covering my body slowly slide down my back and granting him one of his favorite views. I knew he enjoyed it when his eyes wandered all over my body and he bit his lower lip. I dipped my head down to kiss him but he stopped me before I could fulfill my desire.
"Darlin' wait. Before this gets wild again," We both smiled at that comment. "I know Will said it was nothing, but are you hurting? I mean that bruise is massive." He lightly brushed the back of his hand over my black and blue skin. ''And although I do think it makes you look all tough and badass and it's strangely turning me on, that split lip does look like it hurts. I don't want to contribute to your pain." This guy was going to kill me, how much sweeter could he be?
"How do you know what Will said? I went to med alone."
"Ummm…" For the first time during the night his eyes evaded mine. "Lindsay told me she had left you there when Voigh called her in, and since I didn't see you and we really weren't on speaking terms at the moment, I kinda called Will and asked him. Now, before you tell me anything, I know I might have overstepped but I wanted to make sure you were alright."
"You are the sweetest thing, do you know that?" I reached down for him but stopped halfway through. "I'm gonna kiss you and you're not going to stop me this time, ok?" He chuckled softly and nodded his head, finally letting me do what I wanted. "Listen," I began to speak, almost whispering, my face a few inches away from his. "I'm fine. It just hurts a little, but you are not hurting me and yes, the lip does burn like a bitch but I really want to keep kissing you."
"Well, I have plenty of ideas to solve that." He shifted his body slowly until he was in a full sitting up position. His hand was spread wide open and pressed right between my shoulder blades to make sure I wouldn't lose my balance. His other hand was firmly placed on my neck, until he started moving it upwards and tangled his fingers in my hair, delicately pulling my head back and giving him full access to the crook of my neck. I immediately felt the warm and delicate brush of his lips through my skin, right before he desperately began kissing the exact spot where my neck and my collar bone meet. I gasped as a rush of electricity ran through my body. "See? this works, too."
Oh yeah, it worked alright.
