Close Your Eyes
Winston was sick, and he was hurt. That Crank had done something to him, and slowly, that something was killing him. No, even worse, it was changing him. When Winston fell down that sandy hill, his friends were right there to help him. They didn't want to lose yet another one of their friends. But Winston knew. Without a single doubt in his mind, Winston knew what his friends would have to do. He didn't want to make them sadder than they already were, but he knew that, if he wanted them to be safe, he'd have to sacrifice himself. As Frypan and Minho carried his body across the sandy desert, Winston was slowly coming to terms with what the future would hold. He knew what he needed to do. Winston understood that… his time was up.
Eventually, through sandstorms and extreme heat, the group found themselves taking a break underneath a piece of broken freeway. Each of them were either sipping on some water or resting their bodies, except for one. Hope looked to her left to see Thomas looking out at the distant mountains once more, his back tense with worry. He looked so lonely over there, and Hope felt equal worry for him. Winston's condition was hurting Thomas more than anyone else, because Hope knew that he would blame himself for this. Though, maybe, that was another thing that Hope and Thomas had in common.
"Wherever you go, you bring darkness."
Mara.
"You bring sadness."
Like always, Mara was there.
"Which is why I can save you."
Because Mara… never left.
"Hey…" All of a sudden, Hope heard a raspy yet familiar voice. "Don't look so sad."
"Y-You shouldn't be talking," Hope told Winston. She had been sitting beside the boy, making sure to be there if he needed anything. Though, it seemed that Winston was going to be there for her. "Please don't waste your breath on me."
"But I want to," Winston said, his chest heaving up and down. "I-If there's anyone… here that I need to… talk to, it's you."
Hope shook her head. "Why…?"
"Because this is… gonna hurt them, and I… I don't w-want them to be."
"Winston, please… Don't-"
"Look after them for me," Winston interjected as his eyes stared fondly into Hope's. "You have… a power that… not many people have, Hope. Y-You can make people feel things that… they never thought they'd ever… ever feel again… or never thought they could feel. And I need… you to do that for me."
"I'm sorry," Hope had to hold back tears, "but I don't understand. Why do you have so much faith in me?"
"Because you help people… without even realizing it," Winston breathed out, causing Hope's eyes to widen in response, "And that, right… there, is why I have… hope in you, Hope. Y-You don't help people… to feel better… You help people… to make others feel better. Just trust yourself, okay? For me… and for them."
Off in the distance, Thomas watched as Winston talked to Hope. He had no idea what they were talking about, but he could still see the pain on Hope's face. And, in the end, Hope merely looked down, unable to respond to whatever Winston's final words were. While the sandy air wisped Thomas' hair around, he gazed at Hope, somehow feeling the same confliction as her. He didn't know what to say or what to do; all he could do was stand there and wonder, What should I say? Because now that Hope was at his side once more, Thomas had not a single doubt in his mind anymore. His heart knew… that Hope wasn't just a simple "friend" to him.
""I'll protect you, okay?"
Thomas knew that that was Hope's voice.
"We'll be together forever."
There was no more doubt in his mind.
"You're my brother."
Hope was Thomas'-
"It's like they're getting further away." Terea's voice suddenly interrupted Thomas' thoughts. That entire time, Teresa had been walking closer to him, and yet Thomas could only focus on Hope. Still, now that Teresa had pulled him back into reality, Thomas quickly focused on the most important matter at hand.
"We just gotta keep moving," Thomas said while looking back over at the mountains. "We can make it."
"Hey!" Newt's voice abruptly chimed in as well. He was standing over by the others, his elbow leaning on a concrete wall. "How's it lookin'?!"
"Just…" Thomas put a thumbs up. "Just a little further!"
"Well," Newt looked back at his friends dubiously, "that's not very convincing."
Back with Thomas and Teresa, Thomas noticed the girl's discomfort. This discomfort had been seen by Thomas during the entire journey, so now that the two had time to talk, Thomas finally popped the question. "Hey… What's going on with you?"
"...They did something to me," Teresa stated after a short pause. She moved her hair away from the back of her neck and turned the area toward him, giving Thomas his cue to take his own look. He used his own hands to move some of her remaining hair out of the way, and he saw… a strange marking on her skin. "At first, it felt like I was waking up from a dream or something… Then they all started coming back."
"Your memories…?" Thomas muttered in surprise. He took a step away to see Teresa nod in response. "What do you remember?"
"I remember the first time they brought you in," Teresa explained, her hair dancing in the breeze. "I was taller than you… And faster."
"Tch, wow," Thomas managed to snicker. "Okay."
"But…" When Teresa's smile fell, so did Thomas'. And the way she gazed into his eyes so sadly, made Thomas gulp in anticipation. "Thomas, you… you weren't the only one."
"What…?"
"There was someone else with you."
"Who?"
"It took me a little time to remember," Teresa moved her regretful eyes to Hope, "but I remember her. I remember the two of you… being so close. You were always tied at the hip, and if one of you was somewhere, the other wouldn't be far behind."
"Teresa…" Thomas murmured as he took a step closer to her. "Tell me… what we were."
"I think you already know, Thomas," Teresa said once she stared back into his eyes. "You've both known for a long time, but you just don't know how to admit it to yourselves."
Thomas' uneasy expression only got worse. "'Both' of us?"
"They let Hope remember her past, too," Teresa finally admitted. "And I see the way she looks at you, Thomas. I see the way you look at her, too. And when you look at each other, it's almost like you're both staring into a mirror." Teresa let out a depressed chuckle. "Heh, I remember being almost jealous of you two when we were kids. You were always saying the same exact things, and you could read each other's mind without even trying. You two were in your own little world, even when I was with you. But that was normal, y'know? I was just your friend, and you two were-"
BANG!
"Ruff, ruff! Ruff, ruff, ruff!"
Just then, a gun went off by Thomas' friends, causing Hugo's distressed barks to shoot through the desert. Both Thomas and Teresa's heads whipped toward the group, seeing everyone looking as distressed as Hugo.
"Hey!" Aris' voice yelled. "Guys, get down here!"
"Winston!" Minho shouted too. "What're you doing, man?!"
"Give me that!" Frypan snapped.
"What's going on?!" Newt asked the moment Thomas and Teresa re-entered the group. "What're you doin'?!"
"What happened?!" Teresa asked, making Chuck shake his head violently.
"I-I don't know! He just grabbed the gun and then tried to…!"
"Give me it back!" Winston suddenly protested. "Please…!"
"Winston, man…" Thomas' voice was soft yet scared. "Are you okay?"
However, Winston threw up when Thomas tried to help the boy. The sight made Thomas instantly move back and watch the sand blacken underneath Winston's mouth. Disturbing and gross sounds came from Winston, while everyone else could only stare in disbelief. Then, once the boy had finished, he fell onto his back and laid on the sand once more. Now, with everyone standing before him, Winston lifted up his shirt. "I-It's growing… inside me."
Hope placed a hand over her mouth and looked away, not being able to look at the black and purple wound enveloping Winston's stomach. It was worse than anyone could have imagined, and a feeling of misery shot through everyone's body. Nonetheless, some of them didn't want to accept what needed to be done. Some of them couldn't accept that… this was Winston's final chapter. And Winston saw that: he saw the denial in his friends' eyes. Thus, Winston knew what he needed to do.
I'm not gonna make it," Winston said and then lifted up his arm to Frypan, who was holding the gun. "P-Please… Please, don't let me turn into one of those things…"
At first, nobody moved. None of them had the strength to do what Winston needed so badly until… a feeling of authority and sympathy washed over Newt. He stared down at his friend, and he felt exactly what Winston was feeling. Newt knew that they couldn't protect Winston forever, just like Newt also understood that death… would have been a far better fate than turning into one of those Cranks. Winston was in pain - excruciating pain - but out there, in an unforgiving desert, there was only one cure for his pain. It may have not been the happiest of cures, but it was a needed one. So Newt, however much he didn't want to lose another friend, understood what he needed to do. And if no one else had the power to do it, then Newt was fine with bearing the burden.
"W...Wait." Even when Thomas tried to stop him, Newt didn't stop. He took the gun from Frypan's shaking hand… and moved toward Winston. The sight made Thomas shake his head. "Newt…"
Newt stood over Winston, understanding and pain in either of their eyes. Seeing this, Newt slowly knelt down beside his friend, softly taking Winston's wrist. Then, Newt placed the gun into Winston's hand before guiding that hand onto Winston's chest. Hope watched the scene with tears in her eyes, because she could tell how detached Newt was trying to be. He wanted to be strong for Winston's and his friends' sakes, so he brushed his own emotions aside. When, in reality, Newt was hurting more than any of them. He didn't want to give Winston the ability to die, and yet Newt knew he had to be the one to do it. Newt wouldn't let anyone else carry that burden except for himself. The realization made Hope adore that boy even more.
"Thank you," Winston whispered, clenching the gun to his chest. "Now, get outta here."
"Goodbye, Winston," Newt said before using all of his remaining strength to stand back up. Moreover, when Newt saw Siggy give him a pained look, he could only give an apologetic one back. Newt then walked past the group, picked up his backpack, and started walking out of the area. Aris followed after him, while Minho and Frypan said their final goodbyes to Winston as well. The two then picked up their stuff to follow Newt, prompting Teresa to do the same. So now, only Hope, Thomas, and Winston were left, each of them looking as hurt as the other. Oh, but Thomas… Thomas just had this look of regret on his face. The look made Winston able to say one last thing.
"I-It's okay," he mumbled, causing Thomas' eyes to fill with tears.
"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sor-"
"C'mon." Hope's soothing voice cut through his apology, and he even felt her hug his hand with both of her own. Thomas looked back, seeing her eyes filled with a comforting empathy. "Let's get moving, Thomas."
Her eyes, plus the way her hands held his, made Thomas unable to say no. He looked back to show Winston one last look, a single tear falling down his cheek. But then, not wanting to hold up his friends, Thomas let out a scoff, turned around, and picked up his backpack. However, before Thomas could even start moving, he felt a pull on his hand. Hope, whose backpack had never come off, used her hand to pull on Thomas' hand, leading him out of the area. His eyes went wide as he stared at her back, while his heart started beating rapidly in his chest. Thomas… knew this touch. This was the touch of his sister - the touch that once brought him so much comfort in the darkest of times. Hope led Thomas out from the darkness, reminding him that there was still light in the world. That there was someone in this scary, dark world… that could give him comfort.
BANG! The bang of a gun. Atop a sandy dune, the group of previously eight plus one dog, stopped their walking. They stopped moving forward to grieve who they had left behind. They each looked back to where Winston's body now lay, praying that he was in a better place now. The second that Thomas heard Hugo let out a whine of sadness, though, he turned his head forward again. He saw the dog standing beside Hope's legs, and as his eyes went up her body, he saw Hope's eyes already staring into his. But what she said next… made his eyes widen in shock.
"You're not at fault," Hope told him, squeezing his hand with hers. "This isn't your fault, Thomas. You are good, and you… are not alone."
After that was when the group started moving again, but unlike before, Hope's hand never left Thomas'. And Thomas… Thomas felt… at home.
Until sundown hit, the group walked without stopping. And, the entirety of that trek, none of them spoke. Barely any of them even looked at one another. Though, each of them knew what their friends' faces would look like: they knew, since they themselves probably had the exact same expression on their own face. Remorse, sadness, maybe a little guilt, and the only thing those teenagers could do to combat those dark emotions, was walk. Their only choice, their own means of comfort, was to walk away from Winston's body. At some point, walking became instinctual, and their bodies just moved on their own. They couldn't look back, it would hurt too much. Nonetheless, they did stop when the sun disappeared behind the Earth. Chuck made a fire, Frypan provided everyone with food, and now, the group was sitting around that same fire. Behind them, an enormous ship covered in sand acted as their shelter, and Hope would have marveled at the spectacle if it wasn't for the situation.
The warm fire, the food, the shelter should have been raising those teenagers' spirits. They were lucky to have those things, after all. But it didn't. Nothing did. It just felt… empty. Still, since the confusion had been eating up at him all day, Minho had to finally voice his question. "I thought we were supposed to be immune."
"Not all of us, I guess," Teresa replied monotonously, causing Newt's eyes to turn even more troubled.
"If Winston can get infected, we should assume so can the rest of us."
"...I never thought I'd say it," teardrops fell down Siggy's cheek, "but I miss the Glade."
Hope's eyes widened at those words, and she worriedly turned her head toward Thomas beside her. She knew where Fry was coming from, so she wasn't angry at him for saying such a thing. However, Hope also knew how badly those words would hurt Thomas. They would make the guilty hole in his heart even larger, and Hope… could see that hole getting larger as she stared into his eyes. Thomas' stared down at the fire, so much suffering in his eyes. But right when Hope was about to say something, Thomas stood up from where he was sitting and walked into the darkness without looking back. Hope's eyes watched as Thomas sat himself down far away from the group - he looked so lonely and so very sad. Therefore, Hope leaned down to whisper into her dog's ear. "Hugo, go to Thomas."
Almost immediately, Hugo lifted himself off from the ground and pawed his way over to Thomas. Then, once the dog reached the boy, he nuzzled his snout underneath Thomas' arm lying on his leg. At first, Thomas was taken aback by the sudden appearance, but he lifted his arm when Hugo wouldn't give up. Thus, Hugo was able to lay back down and rest his head onto Thomas' leg, making Thomas himself… actually manage to smile. "Hey there, buddy."
"Mph," Hugo let out a happy noise when Thomas started petting him. "Woof."
"Thanks for worrying about me," Thomas sighed. "Even though… I don't really deserve it."
"Oh, slim it." Just then, Thomas heard Newt's voice right behind him. Thomas then watched as Newt sat down next to him, an exasperated yet… caring look in his eyes. "You know that Frypan was just lettin' off steam."
"He's right, though," Thomas muttered. "I'm the reason we're stuck out here."
"No…" Newt instantly shook his head. "No, you're the reason we're free."
"But you were right back when we were at WICKED. You guys have suffered more than I have, and now, I've… I-I've just made you suffer more."
"Tommy," Newt looked straight into Thomas' eyes, "you know that I didn't mean it like that. I was… I was scared, y'know? We wanted the same thing, but I was just being stubborn. You've proven that you're on our side, Tommy. I don't doubt that."
"But I do," Thomas acknowledged. "I… I doubt myself, Newt."
"Well, you might doubt yourself," Newt said. "And the others might have some of their doubts as well, but… they would follow you anywhere."
"They follow you, too," Thomas stated, making Newt shake his head.
"No, it's different with me, though. You know it is… We all have our roles to play."
"I…" Thomas looked down at Hugo sadly. "I don't know where we're going. We're lost."
"We've been lost before."
"Not like this."
"...There is a place for us out there," Newt encouraged with a hopeful spark in his dark brown eyes. However, Thomas could hear his voice cracking with despair. "I-I don't know where it is, but I do know an awful lot of our friends have died for us to get this far. So we can't give up… You can't give up. I won't let you."
When Newt placed his hand onto Thomas' shoulder, Hope smiled a smile filled with relief and joy. After seeing him so distant before, and now seeing him so emotional with Thomas, made Hope's heart feel so warm. Once more, this girl was reminded that, despite how many obstacles were in her friends' way, their bond would never break. They were more than friends, and they were as close as they could be. It would take more than death to separate them. Moreover, it was nice seeing Hugo socialize with other people than herself. He had made so many new friends; friends that would look after him if Hope wasn't there. Hugo was their comfort, their friend, and he fit right in. The group wouldn't be "the group" without that dog. Newt, too. He could be withdrawn sometimes, but he was also such an important part of the group. He brought everyone together and gave them hope. He could take the most broken of things… and put them back together again.
The Glue.
Yeah, that was who Newt was.
"...Hope?"
"Chuck…?" Hope looked over to her left upon hearing his voice. "What's wrong?"
"I-I know this might be a little weird," Chuck gazed his pained eyes into Hope's, "but could you sing me that song again?"
"You mean…" Hope mumbled in surprise. "Y-You mean the song I sang when you were really drunk?"
"Well, no." Chuck deadpanned, but then his deep frown returned. "I-I mean the song you sang after… I made up with Winston and Zart."
Hope's eyes turned even sadder. "Oh… Chuck…"
"When you sang that song, th-they were both still alive," Chuck whimpered out. "I just want… to go back there. I wanna see everyone one more time."
Hope wasn't able to resist Chuck. There was no possible way that she could resist those innocent eyes of his. Hence, Hope nodded and patted her lap. "C'mere, Chuck."
Without a word, Chuck fell over onto Hope's lap, lying his head full of curly brown hair there. Then, as he stared into the orange fire, he felt Hope's fingers within that same hair. She started combing her hair through his locks, slowly soothing his bruised heart. So, exactly as Hope couldn't resist Chuck, Chuck couldn't resist being comforted by Hope. A part of him did feel childish wanting such a childish thing, but when it came to Hope, he didn't care. He just wanted her. He wanted her to never let him go.
"Oh, the sun is surely sinking down," Hope started the melody. "But the moon is slowly rising."
Upon hearing Hope's soft voice, everyone looked toward her.
"So this old world… must still be spinning around."
While Hope looked down at Chuck.
"And I still love you."
Chuck closed his eyes.
"So close your eyes… You can close your eyes - it's alright."
When Hope first sang this song, she called Ava 'the woman'.
"I don't know any love songs… I can't sing the blues anymore…"
But now, Hope knew Ava as Ava.
"Oh, but I can sing you this song."
She remembered when Ava used to sing this song to her.
"You can sing this song when I'm gone."
Hope would lay beside Mara in bed.
"It won't be long before another day… We gonna have a good time…"
Hope could feel Ava's hand in her hair.
"And no one's gonna take that time away."
This song was one of the only ways that allowed Hope to sleep beside Mara.
"You can stay as long as you like."
So Ava would sing Hope this song almost every night.
"Only close your eyes… You can close your eyes…"
And Hope would sleep.
"It's alright…"
Only to wake up the next day…
"Oh, I don't know no love songs… I can't sing the blues anymore…"
To another nightmare.
"But I can sing you this song."
But Hope lived on...
"Yes, and you can sing this song… when I'm gone."
Until she couldn't take it any longer.
A/N: I love the movies, but it really sucked when they kept taking Newt's parts out of it. Like, the scene between Newt and Thomas was a deleted scene, which it really should not have been. They really did Newt dirty... :+(
