Hey everyone, hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

This week was packed and I had little time to write and update, my apologies for that.

Thanks you so mucho for reading and reviewing it means so much and it totally keeps me motivated.

For the ones who asked, I'm planning on keep writing even when this story ends. In fact I have two more stories here as well right now.

Thanks so much for your support and kind words!

Happy reading!

Xoxo,

Nina

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.


The tender age kids case left me spinning out, I took it pretty hard but thanks to all the wonderful people around me I was able to make peace with it and time played a huge role, too. Having Burgess right there was all I could have asked for. She never pushed me or pressured me, she was just there welding me back together with her hugs and showing me the man she saw in me.

This was it. This woman was it for me, I had no questions, no doubts, nothing. The only thing I had was the certainty that I wanted to spend every waking moment with her.

"So when is that reunion thing you have, again? I asked out of the blue.

"It's tomorrow babe. I told you like one hundred times." She laughed at my lack of memory as she walked into the bedroom straightening her dress and spraying on some perfume. "You're coming with me, right?"

"Wanna show me off in front of your high school buddies?" I walked closer to her and held her by the waist.

"Maybe I do. I also wanna kiss you." She just went for it, capturing her lips in mine and slightly pulling my lower lip with her teeth, making me smile as soon as the contact was broken.

"I'll be there." My lips quickly pecked hers. "As long as nothing pops up at work. You know, not all of us asked to take a day off tomorrow." She blushed in embarrassment.

"Is that I really, really wanna go."

"And I really, really like to make your cheeks all red; although I prefer when there's very little clothing involved, and maybe some panting." I stepped closer, completely invading her personal space and leaving a soft kiss on her neck.

"Ruzek." The words came out so soft that it was almost a purr. "Not now."

"Ok. Ok. You're right. I'll wait for you in the living room then. I won't be able to keep my hands off of you if I stay here." So after 8 months of being together, we had finally managed to make actual dinner dates and tonight was one of those nights.

I walked out of her room just to try to step away from the temptation, and sat down on her couch. When I leaned in to get the remote, I realized there was an envelope on her coffee table. Strange. Burgess never leaves anything out of place.

"Ok. I'm ready." Her voice interrupted my thoughts, and when I looked at her I almost forgot what I was thinking about.

"You're so beautiful. Tell me why you are with me again."

"Shut up. Should we get going?"

"Yeah. Before we go, just out of curiosity. What's that?" I asked, pointing at the envelope on the table.

"Oh, nothing important. Just a letter from my landlord." I looked at her trying to get more intel than that and she completely got my look. "My lease is expiring, he just wants to know what I'm going to do."

"And what are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna stay. I like this place and the thought of looking for a new apartment kind of annoys me." I looked down at the envelope and then back at her. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Hmmm. That's not your nothing face, at all. What happened?"

"It's just." I stopped for a second, trying to organize the ideas in my head. "You're gonna stay here for what, one year? Two?"

"I guess." She trailed off. "It's my home, I need to live somewhere."

"Well, you could move in with me." Ok, maybe that was not the best way to put it out there.

"What?" Her reaction wasn't exactly what I was expecting.

"Yeah. I mean, I've been thinking about this for a while now, I know I want to live with you. My lease is still good for a couple of months, so why don't you move in with me now and then we'll look for a new place together." She looked down and said nothing. When her eyes found mine I just didn't know what to make out of that look.

"Baby, do you think it's a good idea? Don't you think that maybe this is too soon?"

"Well that's not what I was hoping to hear." Kim sat down in the chair in front of me. "You have a point, we haven't been together for an eternity, but we're practically living together now." Was I wrong? Was this not as simple as I thought it was?

"Exactly. We already practically live together. So why rush it?" Her voice was shaky and her eyes failed to keep contact with mine.

"I don't see it like that." I ran my hand through my hair. "I thought that maybe you also wanted what I wanted."

She leaned into me and tried to reach for my hand, which I, absentmindedly, pulled away.

"Baby, it's not that. It's not that I don't want us to live together. I just feel that sometimes it's important to have our own space." Was she being serious right now? "Like, to cool off." I just looked at her trying to make sense of what she was saying. "Oh, come on. I know you don't like me 24-7, I know you find some of my habits annoying."

"Well, yeah. But isn't that what it's all about? Loving each other despite our annoying habits?"

"Adam, I love you. You know that. Are you doubting that?" Now she sounded like she was panicking, and the only thing I could do was sigh.

"I know. I just." I stopped talking as I stood up. "I need to go for a walk or something."

"Don't go, please."

"We'll talk tomorrow, alright?" I think my voice never sounded more depressing than that.

"Adam, wait." Hearing her like that was breaking my heart, but the truth was that it was already broken. I was about to turn the knob when she spoke again. "If you leave, you're just proving my point."

"If you ask me to stay, you're proving mine."

And just like that, I left. I knew we had dinner plans, was I being a douchebag right now? Was I overreacting? The only thing I was sure about is that I was feeling like shit. I know she loves me and she probably has a point. But the fact that she is not as thrilled as I am to share a life together had me thinking about everything.

I am not one to over think. In fact, I basically just act on reflex, that's exactly why I get into trouble all the time. Maybe, if I had thought this through a bit more, I wouldn't be in this situation, maybe we would just be having dinner and drinking some expensive wine before coming over to my place just like we'd planned.

Damn it.

I obviously wasn't in the mood for food anymore. I just wanted to sit back on the couch, drink a glass of whiskey and go to bed.

When my alarm clock started buzzing it didn't surprise me at all. I barely caught any sleep last night.

I missed her.

I wanted to sort things out, but at the same time I don't think I was ready to hear anything else that she had to say about this, I mean she made her point very clear.

I went about getting everything ready to leave my place and going to the district, jumping into work was all I needed to keep my mind busy.

"So how did your date night yesterday go?"

Or not.

Poor Atwater, he had no idea what was going on, but he always had the best of intentions.

"It didn't go. Does that answer anything?"

"What do you mean it didn't go. Burgess was pretty excited about it." Now it was Erin who chipped into the conversation. Maybe Sarge wants to know about my depressing love life too. In fact I think I'm gonna call Platt up while I'm at it.

"We didn't go anywhere, Linsday, I don't know what else to tell you."

"Why? What happened?" There was something to Kevin, for some reason the big guy always knew when he had to be calm and steady.

"What did you do, Ruzek?" Erin on the other hand. She was always ready to have Kim's back and point the finger at me. Most of the time I liked that, but not today.

"Jeez, Lindsay. Why do I always have to do something?"

"You didn't?" She asked with big incriminatory eyes.

"No. Yes. I don't know." I was totally confused.

"Out with it Ruzek or I'm calling Burgess later and I'll find out." I sighed in defeat and let my body sink into my chair.

"I asked her to move in with me." The gasps in the room were so audible I think even Trudy heard them. "What? Do you think it's a crappy idea?"

"No! Not at all." Lindsay sounded excited, more excited than Kim for sure.

"Well, Burgess surely thought it was a crappy idea."

"What do you mean, man? She said no?" And Kevin sounded surprised as hell. I know right?!

"She said something about it being too soon and not having space for our own. Maybe she's right, I have no idea anymore."

"I'm sorry it didn't play out how you wanted, Ruz." She put one hand on my shoulder.

"It's fine, Erin, It's no like we broke up." We hadn't, right? "I just wanna get to work." I looked around the bullpen. "Where's Jay anyway?"

"He went to get some phone records Voight asked for."

"Looks like we're gonna be busy today." Added Kevin.

"From your mouth to God's ears."

Turns out he was right. The case got pretty intense, but it seemed like we were going to be able to close it in time for me to join Kim. That is if she still wanted me to go with her.

It was close to 2 pm, and so far our interaction had been non existing. No texts, no calls, nothing. I was beginning to crave her voice.

At that precise moment, when I was finding it hard to concentrate on the files in front of me, that's when my phone started to buzz. I looked at the screen and took it to the break room.

"Hey." My voice was kind of croaky. I had been quiet for such a long time that it took some time for it to get adjusted.

"Hi." If I were to judge this whole conversation based on the beginning, then I would tell you that awkward is the least this is going to be. "How's everything around there?"

"Fine. We're working on something."

"That's good."

"I guess it is."

"Do you think you'll make it tonight?"

"I don't know. I'll try."

"Adam?"

"Yes?"

"Are we good?"

"I don't know. Are we?" The silence on the other side of the line was suffocating me. "Listen Kim, I have to go back to work. I'll let you know how the case goes."

"Ok."

"Ok. Talk to you later." This was probably one of the suckiest conversations I've had with anyone.

"I love you."

"I love you, too"

I sighed as I ended the call. I know we love each other, at least I'm sure I love her. But I really need to get my head straight, understand the meaning of this. On one hand I really want more, but on the other I don't wanna lose what we have. I don't want to lose her.

Fuck.