Hey guys, happy One Chicago Wednesday!!
Sorry for the delay, I've been updating my other stories and left this chapter for today.
These are the last few chapters, so I hope you enjoy this one.
Thanks for reading and for taking the time to review. Please let me know what you think.
Happy reading!
Xoxo,
Nina
The knot in my stomach was the size of Canada. What the hell was going on?
I could really use a chat with Erin now, but I'm the only one having the day off so it wouldn't be really fair to call and bother her with my drama when they're all trying to solve some case.
This time I'm gonna have to figure this one out on my own. I made myself a cup of tea and climbed to the couch. I held the cup between my hands and stared into nothing, hoping some magical force would enlighten me and tell me what to do.
The only force in my apartment was Adam's smell and the fact that I had wrapped myself in his sweatshirt wasn't really helping.
What am I doing? I'm crazy about this guy, we sleep together almost every night, his stuff seems to be reproducing here, and more often than not I end up realizing that I left whatever it is I'm looking for at his place.
Is it so crazy if we actually do move in together?
I know I've thought about it more than once, so why did I step on the breaks like that?
Stop running away Kimberly. I know why I did it, I'm afraid to mess it up, and that's a good enough reason but I need to talk with Adam and figure it out together. It's time I start handling things like an adult.
So that settles it, tonight when he comes we'll figure this out.
I was getting ready for tonight but my eyes didn't leave my phone waiting for an update on Adam, and to be honest I was beginning to lose hope.
Putting my outfit together was going to be much better than waiting for the stupid phone to make a sound. I grabbed a black high waisted long skirt and a floral midriff top, it looked cute and it was perfect for the warmer weather we were having. Although I wanted to make a good impression, I was ultimately trying to look my best for Adam.
When I went to grab my heels I finally heard my phone buzz and my mouth instantly curved up into a smile and I felt my stomach flip a little. The flashing screen read his name, but the message wasn't exactly what I wanted to read.
Something really big popped up and we need to hit a location asap. Have a good time.
A second message followed almost 5 seconds after.
I'm really sorry about this.
I was disappointed, but I knew this wasn't his fault. So I texted back.
No problem, I understand… Work is work. Be safe.
Well that's just great.
I finished getting ready and I left for the venue hoping that something good would come out of today.
If you were wondering, absolutely nothing good came out of the night.
Ok, maybe the part where I got to drink and dance my life out with my friends. But definitely not the part in which I missed Adam the whole fucking night or when one of my ex boyfriends came to hit on me and then threw shade on my current boyfriend for leaving me on my own tonight, which apparently worked wonders for him.
He wishes.
I wouldn't trade Adam for anything. Who knew it would take a night out without him, a loser ex boyfriend and some alcohol for me to see that clearly?
Drunk was not the word that best defined me right now, I would actually use disinhibited and maybe tipsy.
As I stepped into my house and threw my heels somewhere on the floor, I rummaged through my bag trying to find my phone. I wanted to talk to him, hear his voice, tell him that I loved him and say good night.
As soon as I touched the screen the bright light made me squint and recenter all my attention, but it was the notices flashing on it that made every drop of alcohol in my system evaporate completely.
4 missed calls from Kev, 2 from Erin and 1 from Platt.
How on earth did I miss so many calls? Whatever it was, it wasn't good. My heart was racing and the only number I could think of dialing was Adam's.
"Pick up, pick up." I was talking as if he could actually hear me. I waited impatiently only to be sent to voicemail. I tried again but the same thing happened and I was finding it difficult to breathe now.
"Come on, Kevin." Apparently talking to my empty apartment was my thing now.
"Baby girl." His voice was calm and tired. Ok, so maybe everything was alright.
"What's going on, Kev?" I managed to sound reasonable and on top of my game, but I was really crumbling inside.
"I know it's your night off…" he was probably going to continue, but I cut him off.
"Do you need me to go with you guys?"
"Not exactly." The silence was killing me.
"Out with it Atwater. What happened?" Patience wasn't always my forte and right now I needed answers.
"Kim…" He stopped and I could hear him taking a deep breath before he continued. I had a feeling I was not going to like the rest of that sentence. "Ruze got shot."
Everything around me went black for a second. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth, my body wouldn't move, I was just petrified. "Burgess? Burgess, you there?" Now his voice sounded worried and stressed.
"Where is he?" I never put my shoes on faster than right now.
"Med."
"I'm coming. Please tell me he is ok."
"He lost a lot of blood, he's unconscious. They're preparing him for surgery." That's exactly when the sobbing started and Kev tried to comfort me. "He's stubborn as hell. He'll be alright." I knew he said that to convince the both of us, because his voice told me he was just as scared as I was.
The drive to Med seemed to take forever. When I finally made it, I found everyone who called me in the waiting room plus Rojas, Jay and Voight. They all looked at me, I'm not sure if they felt bad about me or if they were trying to figure out why I was all dressed up with my makeup ruined and red watery eyes, looking like I had just come out of a bad Halloween movie. Both Platt and Lindsay walked up to me and wrapped me in their arms, only to unleash round two of the water works. I still couldn't speak, even if I was able to do it I'm not sure what I wanted to say. I'm sure the look on my face was desperate, because the next thing I felt was Kevin's arm around my shoulder and Voight's voice.
"He was shot twice. One in this thigh, which apparently nicked the artery and the other is his abdomen. It went through the vest." He was worried and that scared the crap out of me. I only saw Voight's face like that when we were waiting for Al to get out of surgery. The thought of that moment made me want to vomit.
"Where is he? Can I see him?"
"He just went into surgery. Will promised to keep us updated." Jay came closer to me and squeezed the top of my arm with his hand. It was amazing how all of them were trying to support me, but all of us were going through hell right now. I felt like I needed to be there for my team, too, but I just couldn't manage to do anything.
We all just sat there in silence waiting for some news. The surgery was long and when he finally was out, the doctor came to talk to us.
"He lost a lot of blood and we did the best we could. Luckily the bullet in his abdomen didn't cause much trouble. We managed to stop the internal bleeding just in time and we were able to contain the nick in his artery. We're hoping that he'll make a full recovery, but we really need to wait until he wakes up for that. When he went unconscious, he took a hard strike to his head against the ground and that's what we need to evaluate."
"How long is it gonna be until he wakes up?" Atwater asked the same question I was thinking about.
"I don't know. It all depends on him. It could be hours or days." The doctor informed us. I knew he was just doing his job, but his answer didn't satisfy me at all.
"Ok. We'll let his family know." Platt had already called Bob and Kate. She was out of town and Bob was going to be here as soon as he could.
"Good. I'll be around if you have any more questions."
"Can I see him?" I finally spoke.
"Of course, he's in room 514. You can all see him but one by one and just for a few minutes."
"What do you mean a few minutes? I need to stay with him." My tone was firm as I stood up from the chair I was in and just stared at the doctor.
"I don't usually recommend it the first night."
"I don't care what you usually recommend. I'm not leaving him." A hand was firmly placed on my shoulder.
"Relax, Kim." Voight was trying to make me reason, but his face immediately shifted back to the doctor. "She's not going anywhere. So maybe we could reconsider that recommendation." The doctor sighed in annoyance, but he finally agreed.
After everyone stepped in just to check on him, Erin turned to me and looked at me with concern.
"Will you be ok?"
"I'll be fine, Erin. Thanks."
"You call us if you need anything, ok?"
"Yes, Kev. I will. Now you guys go and rest. You had a pretty hectic day. I'll watch him." My head turned to his room's door involuntarily.
As soon as I was alone I stepped into his room and pulled a chair next to his bed to be able to grab his hand and carefully brush back the wild strand of hair that was in the middle of his forehead.
Seeing him lying on a bed like that, with tubes and wires attached to him made my heart shrink in my chest. It hurt to see him like this, it hurt not to hear his voice, it hurt not to feel his fingers caressing my face, it hurt not having him to comfort me, it hurt not to hear his stupid jokes and it hurt not having him annoying my ass off.
The idea of a life without him hurt so much, it was just another level of pain I hadn't experienced before.
"Baby, please wake up. I need to look at those amazing eyes of yours and tell you just how much you mean to me. I love you so much." The tears rolling down my cheeks had a life of their own, I just wasn't able to control them anymore.
I watched him the whole night. It was impossible for me to get any sleep, I was too nervous and scared to actually get any rest and I really wanted to be there when he opened his eyes. The only time I left the room was when Bob arrived, seeing the tears in his eyes just made me break again. He stayed in the room with his son for like half an hour as I waited outside. He seemed stressed and tired, he had been on the streets all night but he didn't want to leave Adam's side. Could I blame him?
After a while he finally agreed on going home, taking a shower and some sleep before coming back to the hospital.
Me? I never left that room.
Platt, Kev and Erin wehere on my case, bringing me food, offering to take me home so I could shower and get changed, but I didn't move.
When Erin arrived Kev was with me in Adam's room. He had brought me some food, but the only thing that was able to go down my throat was a cup of coffee.
"Any news?" She asked just after hugging me.
"Nothing. His stats are good, though." I offered them a faint smile.
"He'll be fine. He has to, we have a bunch of games to watch together." Kev's comment made me chuckle.
"Yeah, he'll be fine." I looked down at him and held his hand in mine one more time. I needed to feel him close, I needed to believe that he was going to wake up soon.
"Since you're obviously not moving, I figured I could bring you a change of clothes. That outfit is gorgeous, but I'm sure something more comfortable will be appreciated." Erin handed over a duffle bag with some of her clothes in it.
"Thanks. I'll leave you two for a second and get changed. I'll be right back."
I went to the bathroom to get changed and splash some water on my face. I know that everyone was right telling me that I needed a bit of a break, but I also know it would be completely useless, because I couldn't stop thinking about this.
It's been three days already, and my body was showing signs of the lack of sleep and the crappy eating habits that I adopted. Kate and Jon had visited, along with Bob, and of course someone from intelligence was always there, too. For sure this situation was tearing us all apart.
It was nearly nine at night, I had just gotten a message from Voight checking up on Adam, and much to my disappointment, there was nothing new for me to tell him.
I put the phone down and grabbed Adam's hands between mine, and just looked at him hoping for everything to be ok. I was dozing off, I was tired, scared and stressed and it was all catching up to me. I almost didn't notice Adam's fingers twitching against mine. My head shot up like a spring.
"Adam?" My voice was soft and a little hoarse. His eyelids were slowly fluttering and I felt my soul beginning to come back to my body. "Baby?" One of my hands left his and now it was lightly brushing his cheek.
"Hey." His voice was groggy and almost impossible to hear, but it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.
"Hi." I knew I had the biggest smile on my face, because my cheeks were hurting. "It was about damn time." I tried to joke to keep my emotions under control and not cry like a little baby.
"How long was I out?"
"Three days." I looked down at his hand just for a second and went back to his eyes. "Don't you ever do that again. Don't leave me like that." The hell with controlling my emotions, tears were pouring out of my eyes in no time.
"I'm sorry. Hey, don't cry, I'm not leaving you. You don't have to worry about that."
I wiped my face with the back of my hand and leant in to lightly press my lips against his. "How do you feel? Are you ok?" I managed to stop the tears, but I was still sobbing when I tried to speak.
"I'm tired and everything hurts, but I'm fine."
"I'm gonna call the doctor, ok?" I stood up and left a quick kiss on his forehead.
"No, don't go."
"I'm not going anywhere, but I have to let them know you woke up. It'll only be a second."
I left the room, but this time I felt like I was alive again.
